Chapter Thirty
“How far along was she?” Ryder’s voice pulled me from sleep. I blinked, barely aware of where I was.
“Not very far along at all, but with how much she was pushing herself, I’m not surprised she didn’t notice it,” Eliran answered.
I closed my eyes, listening as they spoke around me. Ryder was in bed with me, his arms wrapped around my body, holding me tightly. Those arms were more comforting than a thousand narcotics. They took the pain away, kept it at arm’s length. This man was worth whatever the Gods demanded in price.
“And will she heal?” Ryder’s tone was soothing as I drifted between sleep and wakefulness.
“She’s already healing at a rapid rate. It’s incredible how fast she heals, faster than any of us can.”
“Will she be able to have more?” Ryder enquired hesitantly, and I blinked.
“More what?” I asked without meaning to. Exhaustion made my tone more irritable than I’d intended to sound. I’d known I’d pushed my body to its limits. I’d remained alert and awake the entire time he’d been away from me. I was still exhausted, tired to the point that I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
“Children,” murmured said with a hint of anger in his tone.
“Huh?” I was confused as to why it would matter at this moment in time. “Why are you even asking that? Of course we can, but not right now.” I opened my eyes to find him leaning over me, studying me.
“You miscarried, Pet,” he explained softly. “You were pregnant.” He squeezed me for comfort as I closed my eyes and swallowed.
“I wasn’t pregnant; I couldn’t be.”
“You were; you were at least a few weeks along, judging by the size of the child. Remember, Fae pregnancies are shorter than human ones, and who knows how fast gestation will be now that you are a Goddess. That’s why you lost so much blood and blacked out. We had to wait for your body to heal itself, because nothing I did helped; in fact, it made it worse. You lost a lot of blood, and you’ve been out for days.” Eliran’s voice, as always, was gentle and calming.
“How many days?” I asked woodenly.
“Three,” Ryder answered as he lightly kissed my forehead. “I called for Danu, but she didn’t respond. We had done everything we could think of to wake you up, and Eliran tried to stop the miscarriage but nothing worked. I’m sorry, Synthia.”
I blinked back tears as I heard the pain in his tone. I struggled to sit up, but I was still exhausted. “It’s the price the Gods demanded,” I whispered. “To get you back, I had to meddle with the human world. I interfered directly with that world. I killed in it. I was warned that there would be a price if I did it.” A sob ripped from my chest as I turned to look at him. “I didn’t know; I didn’t have any idea that I was pregnant. I was so stressed out, and I couldn’t think past getting you back.”
“You had no idea that you were pregnant?” Eliran blurted, his eyes filled with disbelief. “You were a few weeks along. Haven’t you had a cycle since the triplets were born? There should have at least been some symptoms.”
“I haven’t had one since I got pregnant with the triplets.” I blushed as I looked at Ryder. “You knocked me up again?” I glared. “I thought we had a talk about that?” I’d lost a baby, one I hadn’t even known existed. “I don’t…I don’t feel anything,” I cried as guilt washed over me. I didn’t feel sorry for the loss, or that I’d sacrificed it for Ryder. “How…why don’t I feel anything?”
“Because I blocked the pain they wanted you to feel,” Destiny commented from the doorway, forcing all eyes to her. “You didn’t do this for a selfish reason. What you did, you did out of blind love, and Danu asked me to protect you because you have a bigger purpose to serve, should you agree to it. I can’t have you messing up my plans.”
“Your plans?” I repeated, noting how Ryder’s arms pulled me closer.
“I need you to come with me, please. There’s someone who wants to say goodbye,” she sniffed softly, tears shining in her eyes.
“She’s leaving, isn’t she?” I tried to force the heaviness in my heart to remain out of my voice.
“Yes, she is. We don’t have time to waste if you wish to see her,” Destiny explained softly. “You will have lifetimes to cherish your beast, but I’m afraid it’s time to say goodbye to your mother.”
I rose up enough to sit, leaned over, and kissed Ryder on his forehead. “I’ll be right back,” I assured him as I started to get out of bed, not caring that I was naked. I felt soft cashmere covering my body as I struggled to stand and gave Ryder a smile of thanks as I accepted Destiny’s hand and we vanished.
*~*~*
Danu lay on a chaise in a brilliantly lit garden that was filled with rare, exotic flowers that I’d never seen before. The buds covered the lush greenery, creating a glow effect for each rare flower. To the left of the garden was a sparkling pool, lotus blossoms and lilies floated on its surface, and without asking, I knew she’d created Faery to mirror her own lush, magical garden. The buds of the flowers opened, released an intoxicating fragrance into the air, and closed.
“Beautiful, are they not?” she asked, and I noticed the sun shining on her beautiful face.
“I don’t care about your damn flowers,” I growled without managing to hide the fear in my tone. “I can’t lose you; I just got you. I don’t accept that there’s no way to save you.”
“You’re not losing me.” She shifted to get a better look at me. She looked just like me. Platinum curls fell below her shoulders, and azure blue eyes locked with mine. “You’re my daughter.” She laughed, but it sounded forced. “Where do you think your beauty came from?”
“This is the real you, no magic?” I questioned, taken aback by how much we looked alike. I moved to a large rock that had a smooth surface and sat beside her.
“Over the years, there have been a handful of beings who have known my true form. You are now one of them. I can no longer use glamour,” she explained, waving it off as if she’d just said there would be no rain tomorrow or something mundane. “I’ve lost the ability to use magic as well. Destiny said I have only a short time left, so I sent for you. I was told of the loss you suffered for interfering to save your intended mate, and I am sorry for that. No mother should lose a babe, but we knew telling you of the child wouldn’t have made much difference. You are my daughter, after all.”
“Destiny told me she stopped me from feeling the loss,” I replied.
“She is still blocking the emotion you should be feeling with the miscarriage,” she confessed. “I asked her to do it, but then again, I have something to ask of you. Something that is selfish, but facing mortality is something I’m finding is worse than death.”
“You and your riddles,” I mused. “You knew this would happen, so why do it? Why pick me over yourself?”
“I’m a Goddess, yes, but I am your mother,” she said, as if it made sense. “I would do it again in a heartbeat. You’re my creation, and my most treasured one, at that. I sacrificed my life for you, but also Faery by loving you enough to save your children. They were the key to fixing it, yes, but also the key to undoing it. The prophecy didn’t show us exactly what could happen, or why it would. They are tied to both lands, therefore the key to fracturing the portals. They triggered it the moment they drew breath into their lungs, but it’s not the end of Faery. You are Faery, Synthia. It will live as long as you do, even if it is unstable right now.”
“Can’t they be closed?”
“No, but Faery won’t merge with Tèrra, not as you think it will. Faery has been opened to Tèrra, but as it draws from their world to heal itself, it is also healing the damage they have done to their own world in return. Eventually, a solution will present itself; speak to the Stag, he will guide you. Enough about that,” she crooned, switching direction and interrupting my train of thought. “My time is near, and I must ask you something of great importance.”
She leaned over and whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes as tears rushed to them, burning them as what she asked sent my world spiraling around me. I nodded and pulled away.
“Yes,” I agreed without having to consider it.
“I love you, Synthia. I will always love you. I’ll always be with you. I promise you that. In everything you do, and everything you are,” she assured me as she nodded at Destiny. I looked at Destiny as she nodded and smiled at me.
“We must hurry; say your goodbyes, ladies,” she ordered.