Chapter Twenty-Five
“Why are you here?” I demanded once I’d closed the door to the main room behind me and entered the staircase. I didn’t ask her to follow me, I knew without asking that she would. I moved down to the next floor and made my way to one of the couches, ignoring the racing of my heart.
“You have no business being here; meddling in human affairs is prohibited,” she said haughtily.
“I haven’t meddled in any human lives; monsters, yes. I’ve killed many of them, but no humans. I have always tried to keep my hands clean of them,” I snapped.
“You are in the human world, child. These lives, they are all part of a tangled web. They’re all connected. You may not see it, but I assure you, they are. There are consequences for being here and harming any who dwell in this world.”
“They attacked us, and they took Ryder from me. Am I just supposed to sit on my hands while they torture him?” I protested.
“You cannot interfere!”
“I cannot sit around while they tear him apart!” I shouted back angrily.
“Synthia, there are forces greater than us that make the rules. We are no more than pawns in this world, and by world, I mean universe. You meddle in things you can’t even begin to understand,” she said softly as she watched me with a wary look.
“They came into my world, ripped Ryder from it, and you’re telling me that I can’t do anything to get him back?” I demanded, as I struggled with the tears that threatened to betray me.
“Every life here is connected. The Guild protects the humans. You plan to raid it, and you will take a life. That life may be destined to save another, or to take another’s life. Humans are like dominos. It’s why, after all this time, no God has ever intervened in this world. The human God connected every life with its own purpose, and that purpose has to play out. Say you kill a child in the human world, and his life was supposed to lead him to meet a woman and create a child. That child has a destiny, which you just severed. Whether his destiny was to simply smile at someone who was having the worst possible day, and that simple smile resulted in that one person not committing suicide; that is a destiny. A single gesture of kindness can change a world; they are fickle creatures at best, but each of them has a purpose. You are the Goddess of Faery and you have now taken a life in the human world, and now they will demand something from you in return.”
“Those assholes took him from my wedding!” I snapped as I pointed my finger in the general direction of the Guild. I understood her logic; it was flawed, but so was this world. “I can’t just stand here and not help him, can’t you understand that?”
“You are a Goddess,” she explained. “Your hands are tied in this world, Synthia Raine. You cannot tamper with the balance.”
“Right now, Faery and Tèrra are connected, and that makes this my playground as well. I can feel it, Destiny. I can feel this world because no matter what, all worlds are tied to it. It is the anchor for every world in the universe. Danu made sure I was able to meddle in Faery, since I would become its Goddess.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” she sighed as if she was trying to be patient with me, and failing a bit. “You can lead them, but you can’t be hands-on in this world. None can die by your hand. Do you understand me? Lead them, but do not interfere directly. The price will be more than you are willing to pay, I assure you of this,” she pleaded.
“He’s the love of my life, the father of my children. I will pay whatever they,” I entreated, making air quotes, “want, but I will get him back!”
“I fear my words fall on deaf ears,” she murmured sadly as she waved her hand and the raggedy old couch turned into a beautiful white couch. “Sit with me, child.”
“You won’t change my mind,” I warned as I watched her warily.
“Danu warned me that there wasn’t anything that I could tell you that would prevent you from your course, not once you’d set your mind to it,” she laughed, but it was hollow and empty.
“I love him,” I sighed helplessly as a vise tightened around my heart. “He’d destroy worlds for me.”
“No, Synthia. He wouldn’t. He didn’t. He chose to let you die,” she snapped offhandedly.
“Because he knew it was what I wanted,” I demurred. “He also didn’t have a choice; I was dying either way. He couldn’t stop that. No one could, not even Danu.”
“That is the truth, and if I am being honest, the situation was shit at best. He would have had to choose between you and his children, and you took that choice away from him. Your last words sealed your fate, but we already knew what would happen. Your mother created you to save the world she loved. She made you for Ryder, but your destiny has always been to replace your mother. Your mother has been aware of it since the moment you were born and I was shown your destiny. I begged her to destroy you. To stop it from happening, to let go of the world she’d created and make a new one. She couldn’t, though; after Madisyn bore you, Danu held you in her arms as Madisyn slept, and the moment she did that, she knew a love that she had never known before. She looked into the eyes of her child and she couldn’t do what she should to save herself. Instead, she tied me to you. She wrapped a strand of my hair around your finger, and tied your destiny to that of the Gods. She should have allowed you to die and avoided this fate, but she couldn’t do it.
“There were many times she watched you as an infant, then later, as a toddler, and throughout your life. The day Faolán killed your parents, she almost interfered for you. I gave her the same warning then that I am giving you now. If she had intervened, who is to say that your life wouldn’t have been the payment for interfering in this world?”
“She was there?” I asked as my chest heaved. “She could have helped me.”
“And forfeit your life, or hers? The Gods are vicious creatures. They make the Mages look like children at play. They can demand blood, or worse. She knows it; why do you think she sent me? What do you think the cost was for meddling in your life? You were an Enforcer; you were destined to save hundreds of lives. It didn’t matter that you were of her blood, or that the Fates blessed it. You were sent to this world and became a part of it. Now, now you’re not. Whatever destiny you had here was severed with your mortal life. You are not Fae; you are not a Demi-Goddess. You are a full Goddess now.”
“Then take it back! Because I’d give up my immortality for one mortal life with him! He is everything to me,” I sobbed as I got to my feet, furious that I was crying, but it wasn’t because I was upset. It was because I was pissed.
“My Gods, you’re as sweet as she said,” she whispered as she stood and looked at me. “It can’t be undone, ever. The only way you can lose your life is to make the Gods angry enough to take it, or as payment for meddling where you have no business being.”
“What will they demand of me?” I couldn’t and wouldn’t let him sit in that room to become what the other Fae there were. He had Witches experimenting on ways to kill him. How long before they succeeded? No. Whatever the price was, I’d pay it.
“It’s a first offense, so it’s hard to say. I do know they cannot touch your children. They have already been given their own destinies, and Danu has an arrangement with the Fates that, no matter what you do, they are protected. She took into account that you are as stubborn as she is. Thankfully. It doesn’t mean that they will be kind to you, though.”
“My children are safe?” I asked warily, and when she nodded, I grinned. “Then they can have my life if it is the cost. If it is my life for his, so be it.”
“Ryder’s life could be the price they ask,” she whispered carefully.
“If they take his, they better take mine,” I warned. “Because the monster I would become would be unlike anything they have ever seen before.”
“Synthia, one doesn’t threaten the Gods.”
“It’s not a threat,” I stated coldly. “Right now, they have the luxury of sitting around and watching how things unfold, but if it was the love of their lives being tortured, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind bending the rules a little. I will try very hard not to kill anyone, but I am not a saint. If they fight, I prefer to think it’s because their destiny is to die by my hand. It’s a choice, right? Destiny is what you make of it, not some preordained shit. It may tie in with others, but we control where our lives lead us. You just guide us, because you’re a Goddess, and this gig isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. It’s a lot of tied hands, and rules that don’t allow you to actually control shit.”
She smiled. “I see so much of her in you,” she said tightly, her eyes misting with tears. “She won’t last much longer; if you hurry and save your King, we might be able to have your mother with us when you walk down the aisle to wed your beast.” She swallowed. “How far you’ve come from that angry little girl who cursed me for my interference in your life, Synthia Raine,” she whispered with choked emotion as she expelled a long sigh and smiled softly. “I can’t even be angry with Danu for her choices, because I see it; I see that you are worth dying for. You will do everything she couldn’t and so much more. You are both mother and warrior; something she could never be.”
“She is a warrior, and she is my mother. She will never truly die, not for us or history. We will keep her alive in everything we do.”
“So right, but you are needed below. They’ve taken care of the body and are waiting for you. Go, and hurry. Time is something we don’t have.”