WINTER

Finn reluctantly left after eliciting a promise that I would see him later. I wasn’t sure when later would take place because Ivy and I had issues.

"We have to talk."

"About what?" she asked, walking back into the bedroom. "Did you see all those cute things at the baby store?"

"I saw expensive things."

She made a face. "I'm going to need maternity clothes pretty soon. All the cheap ones are hideous, but I found a couple of sites that sell really cute stuff. What’s our bank account look like?"

I closed my eyes and prayed for patience. "Very poor."

I still had money left over from the sale of our house, but I’d been saving that for…I wasn’t sure. Probably another house? It just wasn’t money I was willing to spend. In fact, dipping into it kind of terrified me.

It was more than enough to cover maternity clothes and cute baby things, but she'd need a car seat, and after the crib, she'd need a bed. And we'd need a three-bedroom place, not just a two. Very poor was an understatement.

"But how much?" she pressed.

I dug the heel of my hand into my forehead to make the pounding stop, but it didn't.

"With Finn's health insurance, we should be able to make it."

"Whatever," she replied sullenly and threw herself on the sofa. "God, we need to get out of this apartment."

"And do what?" I asked, grateful that we'd abandoned the topic of money.

"Fuck, anything. I'm just tired of staring at these dingy walls and the stupid ugly trailer that Finn has me stuck in every day."

"Maybe we could go to the zoo this weekend," I suggested.

"For God's sakes, can we leave the kiddie shit until we actually have a kid? What I wouldn't give for a beer."

I froze, causing Ivy to laugh bitterly.

"Look at you." She pointed her index finger toward me. "You don't believe I’m going to make it, do you? I can't even talk about drinking without you ready to run out and shove me into rehab."

"You've been clean for over a hundred days." I swallowed my own bitterness, and it burned all the way down my throat and emptied into my stomach. "I'm sure you'll make it another one hundred days."

"Then let's go out and do something. Go to a club and dance while I still look like I'm hot instead of a balloon."

"Fine. Let's go out."

"Fine."

We stared at each other, and I blinked first, leaving her in the living room to go hide in my bedroom. I just wanted to crawl under the covers and rewind the clock. As I was shoving a pillow over my head, the phone rang. I looked at the screen, and the caller ID said Finn.

"Hey, sweetness." His low voice, tender with emotion, was like a cooling cloth.

"Oh, Finn," I choked out.

"Should I come back? I didn't want to leave, but you seemed anxious to send me on my way. You stressed?"

His concern was melting me. "It's the baby. When we were at the store today, there were so many things they sell for babies. I didn't realize half the things we needed. And the cost. It was so expensive."

"I wish you'd called me. I would have went with you. Helped you out."

"You mean financially. It's not your responsibility."

He hesitated. "Maybe not, but I'd still like to help you out.

"I appreciate that. I really do, but—"

"I'm doing it for you, not for anyone else," he interrupted. "In fact, I wouldn't have come over if you hadn't been home."

"How'd you now I was here?"

"Ivy told me. I asked actually. I wasn't going to come over if you weren't there."

"We’re a mess."

"Everyone's a mess. Remember when you found me in the café?"

I did. He’d looked like someone had taken a melon baller to his chest and scooped out his heart. I knew what that felt like—how loss made your whole body ache. Even teeth ached, and nothing could take it away.

"I feel like we get over one hurdle, only to face another. Ivy gets out of prison. She falls off the wagon. She climbs back on. She's clean for a hundred days, and then we find out she's pregnant."

"Tell me what I can do. Give me a task. Anything."

He wanted to help out. It wasn't just words. It was important to him, which was why he’d raced over to help put a crib together for a kid that wasn't even his.

"She wants to go out. She needs to have some fun. She hasn't been out having a good time with friends or meeting people because of her sobriety. I should've brought her to the concert with us."

"Then let's have a party. My roommates have a friend in town, and we've been having parties nonstop. Bring her over, and we'll all help watch her for you."

"I don't know, Finn."

"Come on. Besides, we need a little time. You and me. These lunch hour meet ups aren't doing it for me."

"Me, either," I admitted.

"You could stay over. You both could. Adam's staying in the carriage house, and there's a sofa she could sleep on in there."

Unstated was that I could sleep in his bed, which I not only wanted, but needed.

"Okay."

"Great." Satisfaction infused his voice. "Tomorrow night. Bring a toothbrush. It's all you're going to need."

* * *

"You been here before?" Ivy asked me when I parked the Honda several cars down from the driveway.

"No."

"It's enormous. He must have inherited a shit ton from his dad. How much money does Finn have these days?"

I thought it was a rhetorical question, and even if it wasn't, I wouldn't know. O'Malley Construction was one of the biggest commercial builders in the city, but Finn himself flipped houses, and I had no idea what kind of money you could make from that. And I didn't care.

"He bought the house before his dad died," I told her.

She raised her eyebrows and looked down at the big modern house with interest. The driveway was sloped, and as we walked toward the house, there were rubber tarps lining the side. At the base of the driveway a few guys were shooting hoops, and the front door was open.

Music blared, and people seemed to be everywhere. It was only nine. Ivy declared no one went to a party before the sun set, but apparently she hadn't been to one of Finn's.

The entrance of the house looked to be two stories tall. On the left were a set of closed doors, and on the right was an open area with two large sofas facing each other. Beyond that was a long walnut table with a matching bench running the length of it on one side and chairs on the other. A guy was lying on the table, and girls were spraying whipped cream on his body and licking it off.

This time it was me raising my eyebrows.

Past the whipped cream buffet to the right was a large white and steel kitchen and to the left was a great room with a big sectional and a huge television. I didn't know they made televisions that big. Out through the French doors, we saw a patio and beyond that the pool.

There had to be a couple hundred people inside and out of the house.

"Winter and Ivy Donovan, what took you so long?" Adam walked out of the kitchen with a red cup in either hand and an e-cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

He wrapped an arm around both of our shoulders. "Come and meet the crew. Finn's in the john."

He drew us into the kitchen and made introductions, more for Ivy's sake than mine. "This is Ivy, Winter's sister. The tall, dark, brooding guy is my roommate, Noah. Behind him is his girlfriend, Grace. The blond guy doing the tonsillectomy is Bo, and the poor victim is his girlfriend, AnnMarie. The tough dude with the tats and short hair is their friend, Gray. His name is the actual color," he fake-whispered and then looked around. "We're missing Mal and Lana." He swung us around toward the patio. "Mal's our other roommate, but I don't see him."

"What's your poison, ladies? We got virgin daiquiris and margaritas, and some Kaliber, Clausthaler Golden Amber, and Clausthaler Premium if you want the beer without the alcohol."

"I'm a fan of the Kaliber," Noah said raising his bottle. It was half gone.

"Nah, go for the Clausthaler Golden Amber. Has a more malty flavor," his friend Bo said, taking a break from tonguing his girlfriend. She picked up a fruity drink.

It struck me then that all the guys Adam had introduced us to, as well as the girls, were drinking something non-alcoholic. I didn't make the mistake of thinking that the entire place was dry, but the hosts were drinking non-alcoholic beverages. I almost wanted to cry at the gesture, and I knew who was behind it. Oh, he was getting the best, longest, most spectacular blow job ever tonight.

"Ivy, as the new girl, it's up to you to decide which of these three beers is better tasting."

Bo opened the refrigerator and took out three bottles. Ivy looked at me suspiciously, as if I'd put them up to it, but I hadn't. I'd never request this kind of accommodation, but the fact that Finn and his friends would go to these lengths to make us—or Ivy—feel comfortable and have fun made me want to cry but for a host of reasons other than sadness.

I gave her a slight shake of my head to indicate I had no knowledge of this, and she allowed herself to be drawn over by the roommates into a taste testing contest.

"Finn's upstairs. Only door on the right at the top of the stairs," Adam whispered in my ear.

I hesitated, looking at Ivy, but Adam gave me a push. "Let us watch her for tonight. You go have fun."

I ran off. Literally. I bounded up the stairs and then knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" an impatient Finn said from inside.

I took the chance and opened the door. Finn was sitting on a chair, hunched over with his phone in his hands.

"Hey, I was just calling you." He rose and threw the phone on the chair. In two strides he was in front of me, drawing me into the warmth of his embrace. "What took you so long?"

"Ivy insisted that we'd look lame if we showed up any earlier."

He pulled me against his shoulder and stroked my hair. "I wanted you here yesterday."

"What's with all the tarps outside?"

"We built a slip and slide a couple weeks ago."

"Out of?"

"Air mattresses, tarps, and about ten gallons of baby oil. I think we killed the grass."

"But had fun doing it?"

"Exactly."

"What was I doing?"

"You were defacing a dead pig."

I noticed he had maneuvered me to his bed. It was a giant thing—larger than the one at the farm house.

"How big is this bed?" I asked as he pushed me on top of it.

"Big enough for you and me." He settled his body next to mine and began nibbling at my neck while unbuttoning my blouse.

"Should we go downstairs?" I made no attempt to stop him.

"No, we should definitely not." He pushed aside one side of the shirt and then the other. My nipples hardened under my bra as he stared at them. He didn't kiss me immediately but instead proceeded to unbutton and unzip my shorts. With quick and economic movements, he had my bra and panties off and tossed aside.

I tugged at his T-shirt, but he twisted out of my grasp.

"Nope. I need to have my clothes on, or I'll end up coming in about five seconds. We need the first time to last at least ten, or you'll be tempted to dump my ass for failure to perform."

His cheeks were ruddy, but that was from arousal rather than embarrassment. We both knew the likelihood of me breaking it off with him was less than zero. He climbed on the bed like a mountain cat and pulled me onto his lap. I felt hot and needy, and he hadn't touched even one erogenous zone yet.

Carefully he arranged each one of my legs on either side of his hips and then pulled me close. I could feel the marble hard length of him against my bare skin, but he made no attempt to unzip and penetrate me.

He started kissing me, first around my face, feathering kisses at the corners of my eyes, and then my lips.

"I've missed you, sweetness," he murmured between caresses.

The light touches were surprisingly just as erotic as the firmer ones, and I found myself grinding against the cotton of his shorts. "Take your shorts off," I said, tugging on his waistband.

"No."

He trailed his mouth down my neck and then tucked his hands underneath my butt, lifting me so my breasts were level with his mouth. "You have beautiful breasts, Winter. I want to see if I can make you come just by sucking on them."

I squirmed at his words, and at the first sensation of his hot breath on my skin, I wondered if I could come without even an actual touch.

Then his mouth came down and his tongue curled around the tip of my nipple, drawing it into his mouth. I dug my fingers into his lustrous hair and held him tightly against me. His tongue flicked at my tip while his hand worked the other into an equally hard point by rolling the flesh between his fingers, the rough callouses abrading my sensitive skin.

I whimpered and rubbed against him like a cat in desperate need. But all my plaintive pleas went ignored as he devoted himself to my small breasts. His mouth worked his way between both, licking and sucking on them. He'd bite them, and the quick jolt of pain would be followed by his tongue making soothing gestures.

I was wet and slippery between my legs. I rubbed my thighs together, trying to ease the growing throb. He laughed, and the vibration of his chuckle had me arching into him.

My entire body felt alive, as if every nerve ending was awake and reaching out. The air currents floated over my skin as he sucked and sucked. I could hear him, and the slight sounds magnified in my ears.

I pushed against him, winding my hips and thrusting forward, full of aching need.

"That's it," he whispered low and harsh. "You feel the pull, don't you? Straight from this," he flicked one hardened nipple, "to here." He slid two fingers between my legs, and that was all I needed. It had been too long.

I came in a rush, gasping and shuddering at his light caress. My thighs clamped his fingers between them as if by force I could make him stay there forever.

He laughed again and then threw me down on the bed to tongue the place he'd just been touching.

"I have to taste you."