IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’ve been out on the open road. Nothing makes a man feel more alive than cuttin’ through the wind, becoming one with your bike as you navigate the turns while moonlight streaks through the trees. The motor buzzes like chainsaw as I shift gears. God, I needed this.
Sometimes I let my mind go numb, letting my trained muscles take over. But tonight, my mind is mulling over the past.
History.
My history with the club, my friend Colin who just died, and my history with women. Shit, I barely remember the sound of my last girlfriend’s voice. The last person I did on the regular was Jackie. She swore she was just lookin’ to take the edge off and have fun; especially since she had just gone through a nasty divorce.
Bullshit.
After we did it ten times, she started acting like she was entitled to more than my dick. She wanted to chill together on holidays, sleepover and stay for the weekend when her ex had her kids. Christ, I only fucked her when I was drunk or high. I shake my head as the wind cuts across my back. Hell, maybe I should send her a bouquet of flowers. Jackie helped me sober up. I was scared of sticking my dick in her after the time she showed up at Sassy’s high one night last fall. She left her two kids at home with a sitter and came out that Saturday night to party. I told Tina not to serve her more than two drinks. I went to the supply closet to grab another bottle of Scotch, and when I turned around, she was down on all fours, hands on my fly, yanking my zipper down.
My hands were full of liquor, and I told her to stop.
Christ, I’ll never forget how she looked up at me with eyes begging me to let her suck me off. In her eyes, I saw some shit that scared me: the crazy look of a woman who is high and willing to do whatever it takes. I was half-expecting her to sink her teeth into my dick when I told her to stop.
She started cryin’ that I broke her damn heart. Bitch was crazy; high on drugs, so I threatened to call social services on her if she didn’t clean herself up, it wasn’t right or fair to her kids.
She hasn’t been by in months, thank fuck.
Damn, that girl Devon is nothing like any of the women I’ve wasted time with. She’s quality. Educated. Enchanting. Sassy as hell with wit to match. My fingers clench the handlebars hard. It’s just my damn luck the first woman to make me want more is not right for me.
The air is chilly with a hint of dampness, but I welcome it. Need it to cool off after she heated me up. Devon is dangerous. Because she does more than set my blood on fire. She’s like a wisp of smoke, traveling through the air, clinging to your lungs, sneakin’ into every part of your body.
But smoke is deadly.
On the other hand, I’ve never backed away from lethal shit. There’s a pit churning in my gut, telling me that if I lose my head over Devon—there will be no remission. No recovering. It’ll be a fatal blow to my heart and at this stage in the game of my life it’s either take the walk or swing for the fences.
Damn, that girl makes me wanna swing for the fences. Switching gears on my bike, I let her run, buzzing by my men so fast—I’m gone before they even realize it. My bike eats up the open road, roaring like a beast, I need to get to Canada and put to bed any strife that could blow back on all of us.
I take a beer from the fridge and walk out the screen door to the fire pit. Taking a seat on an old log, I take a few sips watching the flames and smoke. We rode all night and slept most of the day. We’re sixty miles south of the border staying at a cheap rental we picked up a few years back to have a place to crash on runs. We should roll in by nine if the border patrol agents don’t give us any shit.
“What’s up?” I nod to Toad who sits on an opposite log sipping his own beer.
“Nothing Silver Fox.”
“Come again?”
The rest of the men snicker like I’m the punch line to some joke I’ve never heard.
“Yeah, Silver Fox, show us your guns?” Smith goads raising his arms and flexing his biceps.
“Fuck you all,” I mutter getting up and walking back towards the river snaking through the trees.
“She likes you, you know.”
I grunt, picking up a stone and watching it skip over the water after I throw it.
“When I was at her place the other day, I saw her phone. She has you in her contacts as ‘Silver Fox’. Sorry, I might’ve mentioned it to a few guys, I was pissed that you took me off duty as her guard.”
“You like her?”
“Yes, but not like th-that,” he stutters, and I pin him with a hard gaze.
“She’s too young for me. Besides, she’s my employee.”
“So? Who gives a fuck? If you like her, go for it.”
I turn to face Toad fully, cocking an eyebrow. “Since when do you give a fuck about my love life?”
“I don’t. But I care about her. She’s cool as hell and you’d be a fool not to go for it,” he answers walking back to the fire. I bend down and pick up another stone, bringing my arm back, I let it fly.
Plunk, plunk, plunk.
It skips three times before falling to the bottom. Just like my heart did when he told me she thinks I’m fine.
“I’d be a fool to go for it,” I shake my head.
“Should we change your nickname from Meat to Silver Fox?”
“Shut up Smith.” I reach out and grab his shoulder, shoving him towards the embankment. I caught him off-guard and he stumbles, catching himself just before his ass was about to plant in the freezing cold water.
“Ass-wipe,” he mutters climbing up.
I shrug, sip my beer, feeling my lips curl into a smile.
“I don’t believe it. Half your wrinkles are from frowning all the time, not age. Damn, Meat, she might be good for you.”
“Nah, she’s jailbait.”
“What? She’s thirty.”
“True. But she’s jailbait. It’s not her age that would get me thrown in the slammer… it’s what I’d do. How far I’d go to keep her safe if she were mine. If she were mine…,” I gulp, just thinking about it makes me burn. “… I’d skin a man alive for puttin’ one finger on her. I’d chop his nuts off for runnin’ his mouth. She makes me feel shit, I haven’t felt in years, if I ever did at all.”
“Hell, first Duke and now you?” He shakes his head, “Christ. I hope I’m not next.”
Shoving his hands in his pockets, he walks past me, “We’re ridin’ in twenty. Get your shit together.”
I grunt, take out my phone and find Devon in my contacts. Grinning like an idiot, I change her name to Jailbait.