Chapter 11

For the better part of a week, Megan had been walking on eggshells. Alex was not handling Danny’s death well—not that most people would notice. On the surface, he was behaving like his usual self, but she knew better. He was putting on an act for his family, for his coworkers. And to some degree, for her.

The funeral was both uplifting and heartbreaking. So many people had shown up to celebrate Danny’s life, but the entire time Megan stood beside Alex, she could feel how tense he was. She wished he would cry or yell or vent in some way, but he didn’t. He was the pillar of strength for everyone, and the eulogy he gave had everyone in tears.

Standing at the front of the large Presbyterian church, Alex had faced all the people who had loved Danny. After sharing stories of their childhood antics and poetically talking about his friend’s lust for life, Alex turned somber.

“I feel like the first half of our lives was spent with me trying to guide Danny. I was the levelheaded one, the practical one. He always tried to get me to cut loose a little and have some fun—and I did—but at the end of the day, I did my best to get him back on track when he’d wander.”

Pausing for a moment, he went on, “In the past few months, I feel like our roles reversed a bit. Danny had something to teach me, and at times, I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to stay on track and listen. I knew if I did, then I’d have to accept what he was saying—and what he was saying was that it was time for him to let go.” Another pause as emotion seemed to clog his throat and halt his words.

“You see, he was tired. He’d fought the good fight for so long that his body was too weary to go on. I kept thinking if I just helped him move his legs or improve his circulation, it would make a difference. But in the end, he was the one helping me make improvements in my own life.” He swallowed hard. “People ask why—why did he have to suffer for so long? And I’ll admit to thinking the same thing. But what I have come to believe is that Danny was here to help us all. We need to remember that life is precious. Every day is a gift. We need to cherish it. And each other.”

Megan had sobbed openly. She didn’t normally do that, and at a time when she should have been comforting Alex, he had stepped down from the podium and comforted her.

Which was so typical of him.

She had delayed going back to San Diego because she didn’t want to leave him, though he had been fairly vocal about her needing to get back to work. Megan had argued that she was working—she was going in to the office with Zach every day—but she knew what he was referring to. He seemed to be deliberately pushing her away, and for the life of her, she couldn’t understand why.

Okay, that wasn’t completely true—she knew he was struggling with guilt. Or some form of delayed survivor’s guilt. But he wouldn’t talk about it. Every time she tried to bring it up, he shut down and would go for a run or claim he had to work on client files. She wasn’t stupid; she caught on to his diversion tactic fairly quickly.

She just didn’t know what to do about it.

Okay, and that wasn’t completely true either. With her father calling her almost nonstop, she had finally conceded and made arrangements to head back to San Diego for a few days to work more with Christian’s IT team to get the work and training done for the new system. Alex had seemed greatly relieved when she’d told him her plans, but she had been the one freaking out when he told her she should stay in California until the job was done.

Not a good sign at all.

But at the time, it seemed like the right thing to do because it would get her father off her back and maybe give Alex the time alone he needed to finally grieve.

It should have been the perfect plan—the right thing to do—and now that she was settled in with Christian, she realized that maybe it was a good thing for her as well.

Until Zach called.

She’d been away for five days when her cousin called in a state of near panic.

“When was the last time you talked to Alex?” he asked sharply when she answered the phone.

Her first instinct had been to be annoyed at his tone and his lack of a greeting, but his question put her on high alert. “Um…yesterday morning. Why?”

Cursing under his breath, Zach let out a loud sigh before answering. “I just got a call from Tony—he’s one of the therapists Alex works with—and he said Alex quit.”

“What?” she cried. “When?”

“Tuesday.”

The day she had left for San Diego.

Megan collapsed in her chair and wondered why Alex would do something like that—why he would lie to her or simply not tell her what he’d done—which was what she asked Zach.

“I have no idea. I thought he was doing all right. I’ve been talking to him almost every day since Danny died, and he seemed like he was okay. Obviously, I was wrong.”

“Did you call him after you spoke to Tony?” she demanded, now knowing exactly how he must have felt when he called her.

“I’ve been trying, but he hasn’t answered. I went by the house, and he’s not there.”

Now she cursed. “He has to be somewhere, Zach! Have you called his parents? Has Tony tried calling him? I mean…someone has to have talked to him!”

Now she was getting frantic and hating the fact that—once again—she wasn’t there.

“Okay, I think we both need to calm down a bit,” Zach said evenly. “I’m going to keep calling and texting him. Why don’t you do the same, and we’ll talk again later?”

A sound by the doorway caught her attention, and she saw her brother standing there, concern written all over his face.

“Zach, you have to find him,” she said fiercely as emotion threatened to choke her. “Please.”

“I’m doing my best, Megan,” he said solemnly. “I swear.”

When she hung up, she looked at her brother.

“What’s going on?” he asked, and she relayed her call with Zach to him.

“What am I supposed to do?” Megan cried. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do at this point!”

Christian looked at her and frowned. “Megan, why are you even asking me this? You know I’m the last person to—”

“You’re right,” she said with irritation as she stood. She was done looking to other people to tell her what was right and what was wrong for her or simply what to do. Right now, she was doing what she wanted—what she knew in her heart was the best thing for her. “I need you to get the IT team in here right now for a meeting.” Walking around the office, she began collecting her things, and when she looked at her brother, he was grinning.

And Christian hardly ever grinned.

“Anything else I can do?”

Stopping in her tracks, she studied him. “Yeah. You can smile more.”

He laughed softly. “Anything else?”

Nodding, she said, “You can get me on the first flight back to Portland.”

* * *

Walking out of the airport, Megan looked around for her ride. Christian said someone would be here to pick her up, but she had no idea who it would be. Placing her suitcase on the pavement, she looked at the cars lined up outside baggage claim and figured she needed to look for Summer or Gabriella. The sound of a horn beeping made her jump, and she looked and saw Zach parked right in front of her.

He didn’t get out of the car, and she simply threw her luggage in the backseat. When she was seated and they were pulling away, she looked at him. “Well? Have you talked to him?”

Zach shook his head and focused on maneuvering through the traffic. “All I got was a brief text saying he’s camping and wasn’t sure when he’d be home. I have a pretty good idea where he is, but…I can’t be sure.”

“Can we go there now? Can you take me to him from here?”

Glancing at her, he said, “Megan, you need to think this through. It’s great that you want to help him—”

“But—”

“But I’ve never seen Alex like this. I’m thinking maybe I should go or maybe one of his therapist friends. Having you here and waiting for him at the house would probably be a lot smarter than you going to him right now.”

“Bullshit!” she cried. “I don’t want to sit and wait, and it’s not your call to make. I’m the one who’s going to go to him! I’m the one who loves him, dammit!”

A slow smile played across Zach’s face, and he quickly hit the Bluetooth and called Ethan. She was mildly confused when all he said to Ethan was “We’re going with plan B” and hung up.

“I don’t understand,” she said. “What’s happening?”

“Just…give me a few minutes, and it will all make sense,” he said and was about to say more when her phone rang.

One look at the screen, and she wanted to scream.

It was her father.

Again.

Megan was frustrated enough to not ignore it. “Hey, Dad,” she said when she answered, but there was no hiding her annoyance.

“Megan, where are you? I called the office and was told you left for Portland. What’s going on? You can’t leave in the middle of a job!”

“Actually, I can, and I did,” she said tartly. “Christian’s team is doing fine, and they don’t need me there to babysit. And on top of that, I’m turning down the position.”

“What!?”

Her whole body seemed to sag with relief at saying those words aloud. “I don’t want to live like this, Dad. I want to have a life. A life with Alex. And right now, he needs me. You can be angry or disappointed in me or whatever, but this is the way it’s going to be. I’m staying in Portland, and I’m working with Zach, and…that’s it.”

“Megan, wait! This is ridiculous. You’re not thinking clearly—”

“You know what? For the first time in my life, I think I am,” she snapped. “I’m doing what I want to do, and you know what that entails? Being with Alex, being happy at my job, and crocheting all kinds of frivolous baby things in my spare time! And I don’t care what you think about that!”

She was on a roll, but she noticed they were pulling up to Summer and Ethan’s house. She looked at Zach questioningly, but he said nothing. “I have to go now, Dad. I’ll talk to you when I can.” And then she hung up.

Once they were in the driveway, Zach motioned for her to go into the house. Ethan was standing at the front door and moved aside with Amber in his arms. When they were all in the living room, Megan looked around. “Where’s Summer?”

Zach held up a hand to stop her from asking any other questions and then began to explain.

“If all that was required here was a new outfit or a day at the spa, believe me, Summer and Gabriella would be here,” he began. “But what you’re looking to do requires a different approach.”

She looked at Zach and then Ethan and then back to Zach. “I’m not following you. I’m going after Alex. What more is there?”

Ethan laughed softly. “Megan, you’re not just going to go after him like you’re walking into his house. He’s camping—like in a tent near the lake. It’s not a spot you can drive to, and there are no modern conveniences there.”

“Or anywhere close by,” Zach added.

“So…wait…so you guys are like…so this is…?”

“Remember the day the girls took you shopping?” Ethan asked. “Well, this is our equivalent to a girls’ day. Just…a bit more sped up and a lot less glamorous.”

And then she was so overwhelmed with emotion that she was laughing and crying at the same time. Both men looked nervously at one another and then at her.

“Um…Megan?” Zach asked.

She waved him off. “This is…this is seriously the greatest thing ever. I mean, I loved going shopping with the girls; that’s what we’re programmed to do. But this? What the two of you are doing? I don’t think I’ve ever felt so loved. Thank you!” Reaching out, she hugged Zach and then Ethan. Then she took a moment to get herself together. With a steadying breath, she finally said, “Okay, what’s first?”

For an hour, the guys explained to her how to pack her backpack, the proper clothes to wear, and the importance of being aware of your surroundings. Her head was spinning with all the information. They explained how to use the compass and made her practice walking around with all of her gear on.

“You won’t need a tent. Alex will have one,” Ethan explained. “But we’ve put a sleeping bag in with your stuff. You’ll need to remember that you’re sleeping on the ground, so there’s not a lot of padding. Chances are you’re going to be a little uncomfortable…”

“But,” Zach quickly interrupted, “it should only be for a night or two, and I think you’ll be fine.” He glared at Ethan. “Don’t make it sound horrible, dude. We’re supposed to be encouraging her.”

“I am encouraging her,” Ethan argued lightly. “But it’s also important that she be prepared for things like this so that she doesn’t say something later on or complain and make Alex feel bad. He’s already struggling, and you know he’s the type who’ll pack up and leave to make Megan happy even if he’s not ready to go.”

“Okay, let’s all stop talking like I’m not here,” she interjected calmly. “Look, I’m aware that this is going to be far out of my comfort zone and I am going to have to have a good poker face to get through it. But I’m willing to go and be miserable and sleep on rocks and pee in the woods if it means being there for Alex! So can we please get back to business so we can go?”

Ethan and Zach exchanged glances. “Geez, relax,” Zach said with a small huff. “I’m just looking out for you.”

She rolled her eyes. “And I’m very thankful for you. For the both of you,” she quickly amended. “But we are seriously losing daylight here. I have no idea how far away Alex’s campsite is, and I’m nervous and anxious and, honestly, a little bit nauseous. I hate that he’s out there all alone and hurting, and I just want to get to him. So can we please…wrap this up and get going?”

An hour later, Megan was wearing leggings, a T-shirt, a sweatshirt, and boots, and pulling her hair up into a ponytail. Zach was loading all of her gear into the car. When she stepped out of Summer and Ethan’s guest room and into the living room, she stopped and smiled. Ethan was sitting on the floor singing to Amber, and she was laughing. It was a precious scene. Ethan caught sight of her and stopped mid-song. He scooped his daughter up and stood.

“So? You sure you’re ready?” he asked.

Nodding, she said, “I am. Tell Summer thank you for letting me raid her closet.”

He walked into the kitchen and then came back with a small cooler bag and handed it to her. “There are a couple bottles of water in there, some granola bars, two sandwiches, and two chocolate bars.” He smiled and then seemed to blush. “You know…in case you really need something to calm your nerves.”

Standing on her tiptoes, Megan kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

Outside, Zach beeped the horn, and her heart kicked hard in her chest. She looked at Ethan again, and her expression must have showed how nervous she was.

“Zach’s going to walk you as far as he can,” he assured her. “There’s a battery pack in your gear, and we normally have some decent cell service when we camp out at that site, so if you need someone to come and get you, you can call any of us at any time. Okay?”

She nodded. The horn sounded again, and she thanked Ethan one last time before running out to the car.

Once she was seated and they were on the road, she turned to Zach. “Am I crazy? I mean, am I completely crazy to be doing this?”

He shook his head, but his eyes stayed on the road. “To be honest? I wasn’t sure what you should do. I’ve never seen this side of Alex, and as much as I wanted to be the one to help him like he helped me, I knew I wasn’t the one to do it.” He shrugged. And then he looked at her and grinned. “And when you said you wanted to—and you were willing to trek out into the woods to do it?” He chuckled. “Then I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wasn’t the one to do it.”

“I still have no idea what I’m going to say when I see him,” she admitted quietly. “I’ve never had to handle a situation like this, Zach. I’m…I’m scared.”

Sighing, Zach drove for a few minutes without saying anything. Finally, he spoke. “The mere fact that you’re showing up is going to speak volumes to him. And I think you are going to have to take your cues from him. There isn’t a speech you can prepare. I wish there was. He needs to know you’re there for him—that we all are. But you need to be prepared for some things too.”

“Like what?”

“Like he might not want to come home yet. He may need more time to come to grips with this situation.”

“Oh.”

They drove for a little while longer in silence. “When I met Alex, I had hit rock bottom. I’d pushed everyone away—doctors, therapists, friends, family…everyone. I didn’t think I’d get another therapist because I had fought with so many of them and figured no one would want to help me. Then Alex showed up.” He paused. “And he talked to me—he talked to me like there wasn’t anything wrong with me. He didn’t treat me like a patient or someone who’d suffered a trauma. We just talked—man to man.” He shrugged. “That spoke to me more than anything else anyone had done since the accident. That initial conversation, he just…he asked my opinion—he didn’t give his. Out of all the people I had been dealing with—and there had been more than I can even count, it seems—he was the first to try to get to know me, and he asked me what I wanted to do.”

Her eyes stung with tears. “I never knew that,” she said quietly.

She saw Zach swallow hard. “He gave me hope when I thought I had nothing left. But that’s just him—that’s the way Alex is. He has a gift, and when I think about him throwing that away—” He stopped and shook his head. “We can’t let that happen. He has too much to give.”

Tears streamed down her face. “I know. He’s always there for everyone, and it’s hard to imagine him off and hurting like this all alone.”

Zach squeezed her hand. “Now he won’t be alone. He has you.”

“I feel very unqualified for this, but I’m not going to give up. If I have to camp out for a week, I’m going to do it.”

Smiling, Zach pulled off the highway, and Megan saw the sign for the campground. It wasn’t until the car was parked that he looked at her and said, “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

She tried to laugh at his attempt at humor, but she just couldn’t at the moment.

“The selfish part of me wants to be the one to hike into those woods and help him. To save him. The way he saved me,” Zach said, his voice thick with emotion. “But then I realized that helping you get to him is going to be the best thing for him. That’s my contribution to this whole thing.” He hugged Megan close. “You’ve got this.”

Megan hugged him back. Knowing that her cousin—her big, strong cousin who had overcome so much more than she could even imagine—had faith in her to save the man she loved gave her the confidence to do it.

* * *

The weather was perfect, the fish were biting, and everything was peaceful.

And he was miserable.

First he thought walking away from his job and the clients he couldn’t possibly cure was the right thing to do. Then he figured having the house to himself would help. But all that accomplished was him sitting alone missing Megan and thinking about all the things he was supposed to be doing to fill his time.

That’s when he knew he had to leave.

At least out here in the woods, the sights and sounds of nature distracted him.

Reeling in another fish, Alex wondered if he should quit for the day. He’d already caught four. More than enough to feed him for the next couple of days.

If he had refrigeration.

“Idiot,” he murmured, removing the fish from the line. Maybe if he caught sight of any nearby campers, he’d offer them some. In the meantime, cleaning them and filleting them would help pass the time.

Except he was super efficient at that too.

Dammit.

Wrapping the fillets and placing them in his cooler, he contemplated what to do next. He stretched, looked at the lake, and sighed. It was so quiet and tranquil, and on some levels, it was soothing. There was something to be said for getting back to nature without any disruptions or people who made you—

“Son of a bitch!”

Alex turned—not so much at the words but at the voice.

Megan.

He looked on in shock as she made her way through the brush looking like someone who had stepped off the pages of a Land’s End catalog. She huffed, pushed a tree branch aside, and jumped down from the small opening and onto the clearing where he had set up camp. When she spotted him, she looked incredibly relieved.

“Thank God,” she murmured.

Alex wasn’t sure which was the stronger emotion for him—shock or relief.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. He was glued to the spot, thinking maybe this was a mirage and he was starting to lose his mind.

And considering he’d slept maybe a total of twelve hours in the past week, that was totally possible.

Closing some of the distance between them, Megan hefted her backpack off and let it fall to the ground. “I decided to give camping a try,” she deadpanned.

As much as he didn’t want to, he couldn’t help but laugh at her statement. “How are you liking it so far?”

“If I wasn’t carrying a small house on my back, I would probably like it more.” Then she crouched down, opened up the small cooler bag that was hooked to her pack, and pulled out a bottle of water. She drank half of it before looking at him again. “I could also do with a lot less branches to the face.”

“There was a path—”

Nodding, she stood. “And I followed it for as long as I could, and then some sort of wild animal was blocking the way, so…I had to get creative. No one told me I might need a machete.”

Alex quirked a brow at her. “A wild animal?”

“Yup. Wild. Possibly rabid.”

“Rabid? Or do you mean rabbit?” he teased.

She gave him a bland look and took another sip of her water. “It was bigger than a rabbit, and it had…attitude. I thought it was safer to fight my way through the trees.”

It was hard to believe they were standing here in the woods talking like this. For months Megan had been adamant about never going camping, and yet…here she was. Last time he’d spoken to her, she was fully entrenched in her job and talking about how crazy things were and how busy she was and how much her father wouldn’t leave her alone, and yet…here she was.

“Why aren’t you at work?”

Her shoulders squared, and she whipped off her sunglasses and gave him a defiant look. “I quit my job.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. “Um…what? When? Why?”

With a careless shrug, she walked past him and toward the water. She peered at his fishing gear before looking at him over her shoulder. “Have you caught anything? I have a couple of sandwiches in my bag, but I’ve never had freshly caught fish.”

This had to be a hallucination. The woman he knew would never willingly quit her job and hike into the woods. Uh-uh. No way. Shaking his head, he walked toward her and had to touch her to confirm whether she was real. Reaching out, he gently grasped her shoulders and pulled her close.

“I don’t suppose you can catch lobster in a lake, can you?” she asked, her expression going a little soft as she looked up at him.

He laughed softly. “Is this your way of telling me you’re hungry?”

“I had a granola bar,” she commented, “but I was eating it when I was almost attacked, so I threw it at the beast and took off.”

The urge to haul her in closer and kiss her was strong, but there was still an inner war waging within him. Maybe cooking some of the fish would be a good distraction.

“Then allow me to be a good host and make you something to eat.”

She must have recognized what he was doing because she took a step back. “I have a sandwich if you’re not ready to eat yet. It’s okay.” Without looking at him, she walked over to her pack and pulled out the food. She offered one to him. “There’s two. You know…just in case.”

And that’s when he saw it—or…heard it. The vulnerability. She was here, and on the outside she looked completely confident and at ease, but inside? She wasn’t so sure.

Taking the sandwich, he motioned to the log he’d been using as a seating area. He was expecting a comment or two on the lack of places to sit, but she didn’t say a word—she simply sat down and opened her lunch.

He was halfway through his when he couldn’t take the silence anymore. “What are you doing here, Megan?” he asked quietly.

Once she was finished chewing, she turned to him. “Do you remember when you flew to New York to be with me?” she began nervously.

He nodded.

“We had talked about all the ways it was impractical for us to be together—or at least that’s what I kept saying. And every time I would say it, you would challenge me and come up with reasons why it made sense. I kept putting up these barriers, and you kept knocking them down. And you know what? That’s what I needed. I just didn’t realize it at the time.” She paused and looked at him. “Now I’m here to knock down yours.”

“Um…what?”

“You weren’t willing to let me walk away from what we’d started,” she said. “You took a risk, you flew across the country and planned this amazing weekend for us—”

“And you didn’t show,” he reminded her, but there was no anger to his words—he was simply stating a fact.

“I know. And I regret that more than anything.” Her expression went from neutral to fierce in the blink of an eye. “I should have come to you. We talked, and we fought, and then we both gave up, and because of that, we lost two years. Well…I’m not giving up, and this is me coming to you. Maybe the gesture is two years too late, but it’s here. And right now, you’re the one having doubts, and I’m here to listen to you and talk them out with you and just…dammit, Alex, you have far too much to give to just walk away from it all.”

“Megan—”

“No,” she quickly interrupted. “You have too much to give to your clients, to your friends, and to us.” With that, she reached out and took his hands in hers. “I love you. I love everything about you! Your struggles are my struggles, and when you’re hurting, I’m hurting too. I know I can’t possibly understand the depth of what you’re feeling right now, but I’m here for you. I’m always going to be here for you.”

Maybe she was still speaking, maybe she wasn’t. All he could focus on was the fact that she loved him. She had said the words when he’d been too afraid all along to say them. His brave girl was finally realizing her own strength. He knew how out of her comfort zone all of this was—quitting her job, hiking out into the woods, and expressing her feelings first. So if she could do it, maybe…just maybe…he could do the same.

“I hate who I am right now,” he said gruffly. “I hate that I’m letting my friend down because I can’t seem to move on or move forward.”

She squeezed his hand. “Alex, you have to allow yourself time to grieve! No one expected you to just get up the next day and carry on as if nothing had happened. Taking some time for yourself is a pretty normal thing to do.”

But he shook his head. “It’s more than that. All those years I worked with Danny, and what did it do? You were right…that day when you asked who was I doing it for. It was me. I was doing it to try to ease my guilt about what had happened to him. So, really, I possibly extended his life—a life he didn’t want—for my own selfish purposes. What kind of person does that make me?”

For a long moment, she looked at him, and he was certain she was thinking about taking her words back from earlier. Maybe now she was seeing the real him and was looking for a way out. And he wouldn’t blame her.

“What was my cousin Zach like when you first met him?” she asked.

“Excuse me?”

“What kind of condition was he in when you first met him?”

The image of his friend on that first day came to mind—he looked like some sort of mountain man and growled louder than a grizzly bear—which was exactly what he said to Megan. “Essentially, Zach was a complete mess.”

“I wasn’t around much, but everyone in the family knew he wasn’t doing well. He shut everyone out and was refusing therapy. What would have happened to him if you hadn’t come along?”

“He would have hired another therapist,” Alex said, but Megan shook her head at him, and he realized what she was getting at. No other therapist would have taken him on. At least not for long. “He probably wouldn’t be walking right now.”

“Earlier today, Zach told me about your first meeting,” she said as she gently caressed his hand. “He said he had hit rock bottom. That wasn’t the life he wanted to live. And then you came along and changed all of that for him because you cared. You took the time to get to know him and gave him hope. Is he the only client you’ve ever had who was a success?”

Alex shook his head.

“Have you ever had a client whose injuries were so significant that they couldn’t regain use of their limbs?”

He nodded.

“And did you continue to work with them, or did you walk away?”

It was hard to swallow past the knot in his throat. “I stayed,” he said, his voice low. “I always stayed.”

Her expression softened, even turned a little sad. “And you stayed with Danny because he was your friend. It wasn’t about an ego thing for you. Anyone in your position would have stayed because of the emotional connection. You don’t walk away from the people you love when they can no longer walk or because they’re no longer physically capable of being the person we want them to be.”

And deep down, he knew she was right. He knew that even if he wasn’t doing therapy with Danny, he would have kept going and seeing him every week because…that’s what friends do.

“I never thought it would hurt this much,” he admitted, his voice catching. “All these years, I always knew this day would come, and yet…I wasn’t prepared for the pain. I keep thinking…hoping…”

She pulled him in close and held him as he cried. It was as if the dam had finally broken because ever since the morning of his friend’s death, he hadn’t let himself cry to the point of it hurting—to the point of almost not being able to breathe. And the entire time, she held him, stroked his back, soothed him.

Alex had no idea how long they stayed like that, but when he finally raised his head, he felt mentally and physically exhausted. He wiped away the moisture and was almost embarrassed to look at Megan. He never cried in front of anyone, and he hated that he had done it now. But when she cupped his face in her hands and gently forced him to look at her, all he saw in her eyes was love, understanding, and acceptance.

“I love you,” he finally said. “I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you. And the thought of ever losing you like—” But he stopped and shook his head. “It all just overwhelmed me.”

“And it’s okay, Alex. You had so much to deal with. I want you to know you can talk to me about this kind of stuff. You’ve always listened to me go on and on about the things that scare me, and it’s kind of nice to know you get scared and overwhelmed sometimes too.” Then she gave him a small smile. “It’s nice to know you’re not perfect.”

He laughed and rested his forehead against hers. “But I want to be. For you. Only for you, Megan.”

“No,” she said softly. “I like this much better because I know I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. This levels the playing field. Besides, I think being perfectly imperfect is a good thing.”

They stayed like that for a long time until Alex knew he needed more—and even if she wouldn’t say it, he knew the damn log was crazy uncomfortable.

Clearing his throat, he said, “Um…you know…I have a tent right over there that’s got more than enough room for two people to lie down and get comfortable.”

Her smile was knowing. “I have an extra sleeping bag for a little more padding if you’re interested.”

Without a word, he stood and held out a hand for her. Together they picked up her pack, walked over to the tent, and set out her sleeping bag. Then he carefully tugged her inside, zipped the tent closed, and focused all his energy on showing her how much he missed her.

* * *

“I’m not going to lie to you—I really enjoyed that.”

Alex looked at her and grinned. “I’m glad. Although I do wish it was a little fancier.”

They were eating the bass he’d caught, and she genuinely was surprised at how much she was enjoying herself. “A salad would have been nice to go with it, but I’m kind of impressed at how you put together such a good meal with so little to work with.”

“Well, had I known I was going to have company, I would have been better prepared.”

“I still have my chocolate bars for dessert, and I’m willing to share,” she teased.

“The only dessert I plan on having is you,” he said silkily, and Megan knew she was blushing.

“And I am more than willing to let that happen and have the chocolate all to myself.”

“Deal.”

Together they cleaned up and packed away the leftover food and then huddled close around the fire. “This would have been a great time to make s’mores.”

“Next time. I promise.”

And the funny thing was she was already looking forward to it. She had a feeling that with a little preparation, this could be a really cool experience—with clothing that was actually hers, some food options, and possibly a bigger tent, she could be completely on board with coming out to the woods again.

“You’re on.” Alex was sitting behind her with his arms around her, and she could feel him chuckling. Playfully, she elbowed him. “What’s so funny?”

“I was expecting a little more of a fight.”

She shrugged. “Well, the food was good, the tent is almost comfortable, and other than the wild animal who I had to fight for my granola bar, this hasn’t been all that bad. And…no bears.” Another shrug. “I’m considering that a win.”

“You realize that every time you talk about your trip into the woods, your encounter with what I’m guessing was a squirrel gets wilder and wilder, right?”

“If a squirrel roars, then I guess it was a squirrel.”

He laughed harder. “Now it roared at you?”

She nodded furiously. “And its fangs were very scary.”

Hugging her close, Alex kissed her on the head. “Then I guess you’re lucky I’m here to protect you. Your last granola bar is safe.”

“Whew!” Megan replied with a dramatic sigh. “My hero.”

He kissed her again. “Always. That’s always what I want to be.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about because you’ve always been that to me.” Looking over her shoulder at him, she smiled. “You came into my life, and you saved me.”

His laugh was a little softer this time. “I don’t see how. There wasn’t anything wrong with you. You were fine.”

But she shook her head. “No. I wasn’t. You took me by the hand and showed me all I had been missing. And I’m so thankful for that.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, gazing into the fire.

“You realize we’re both unemployed right now,” he said lightly. “You may not have a choice but to enjoy this lifestyle. It could be our new home.”

Megan laughed out loud. “I don’t think so. When we get home, you know Tony and everyone else will welcome you back with open arms.”

“Maybe…”

“Or—”

He pulled back and looked at her. “Or…what?”

“Or…this could be your chance to start something of your own. You know it’s something you’ve always thought about, and maybe now is the time to do it.” Megan knew she was taking a big risk to bring up something like this when they were seemingly getting back on track and he was more relaxed than he’d been in weeks. But for some reason, she couldn’t help herself.

“I don’t know…it would be a lot to take on. I’d have to find a place and order equipment and find clients and—”

“And you know none of that would take you very long. You already have some clients of your own, so that wouldn’t change.”

“I quit on all of them.”

“And I’m sure they’d all take you back in a heartbeat,” she countered. “And you know you have a big enough network within the medical field that you wouldn’t have a problem finding more clients.”

“That would still leave finding a place.”

“Since we both have nothing but time on our hands, I imagine we could spend some of it looking at prospective locations,” she said lightly. “And who knows, you might find something right away.”

“Equipment isn’t cheap, Megan. I have a decent amount of money in savings, but…I don’t have a business plan in place.”

She turned in his arms and looked at him. “Give yourself fifteen minutes with Gabriella, and she’ll have one for you. She’s scary smart and organized with stuff like that. Trust me.”

“What about—?”

“Oh my gosh!” she cried out with a laugh. “We don’t have to decide this right now, do we?”

He shook his head.

“Good.” She kissed him soundly on the lips. “Just promise me you’ll think about it.”

With a nod, he said, “I will. But that still leaves you.”

“Nah, I’ve still got a job with Zach. I’m just taking a short leave of absence. I told him I’d call him when we’re home and let him know when I’ll be back in the office but that he shouldn’t expect to see me for at least a week.”

Alex chuckled. “You think you could survive out here for a week?”

“Hmm…it wouldn’t be my ideal way of spending my vacation time, but right now, I can’t complain. I’m pretty happy right where I am.”

His smile grew. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“And if you had your choice of where to spend your vacation time, where would you go?”

“It doesn’t matter. As long as I’m with you, I’m a happy girl.”

“But if you had the choice—”

She groaned dramatically. “If I had to choose…I’d have to go with something tropical. I’ve never gone to Hawaii or anyplace like that, and I’ve always wanted to. So…yeah. Someplace beachy would be nice.”

Alex stood and stretched. “You know it’s required that when you go on a beach vacation, you have to wear a bikini, right?”

She came to her feet and considered him for a moment. “I did not know that. But I’m not sure that’s the right look on you.”

Pulling her into his arms, he hugged her tightly. “Smart-ass.”

“That’s right, and you love that about me.”

He looked down at her as he stroked the soft skin of her cheek. “I love everything about you, Megan Montgomery. And as much as I enjoy camping, we are going to pack up tomorrow morning and go home and book a flight to Hawaii right away.”

Her eyes went wide. “Seriously?” she squeaked.

“Seriously,” he said. “I think we both deserve a little private time away to think about this next phase of life. And you’re right—the time is right for me to branch out on my own. But by doing that, it means it may be a while before I can go on vacation again. So let’s do it now and do it right.”

She looked over her shoulder at the tent. “And there’s no way we can pack up right now, right?”

He laughed and hugged her again. “Too dark. But trust me, we’ll be up plenty early and on our way.” When she frowned at him, he was confused. “I thought you’d be happy about that.”

“You love camping, and now—because of me—you’re leaving. I’m sorry. I’m being selfish. We don’t have to leave in the morning. We should stay as long as you want to. Hawaii can wait.”

“But I can’t,” he argued lightly. “Megan, I do love camping, but I can come and do this anytime. Going to Hawaii with the woman I love? I’ve never done that before, and you know how much I love trying new things and being adventurous.”

She grinned. “And you think going on vacation with me is going to be an adventure?”

He leaned in and kissed her softly, thoroughly, on the lips before saying, “Sweetheart, the last vacation we planned, you didn’t show up. I have a feeling getting you to the airport and keeping you out of work mode is going to be an adventure in and of itself.”

She hated how he was kind of right.

“And once we land? I plan on keeping you busy exploring the islands during the day and then keeping myself busy exploring you all night.”

She smiled sexily. “Sounds exhausting.”

“Yeah, but you are more than worth it.”

* * *

They didn’t get to leave the next day for Hawaii, but they had a flight out for the day after. And as much as Megan was disappointed they’d have to wait, it meant she had a little more time to prepare properly.

“I can’t believe how desperately I needed this.”

“You camped out for one night. It was hardly as if you were wandering the desert for a month,” Summer teased.

“I would do it all again,” Megan commented, “but I wasn’t prepared for the lack of—”

“Being clean?” Gabriella offered. “Personally, I’ve never camped, but I know what Zach looks like when he comes home from a trip, and I’m always amazed how he can stand himself.”

“I camped out once,” Summer said from her massage chair. “Giant tepee, king-size pallet on the floor—”

“Hot spring right in your room,” Gabriella finished for her. “Sweetie, that’s hardly roughing it.”

“For me it was.”

Megan purred as her feet were massaged. “I think that sounds like my kind of camping.”

“I thought you said you enjoyed camping with Alex,” Summer said.

“I did. It was fine. But a hot spring right in my own personal tepee? That sounds way better!”

They all laughed and then sat quietly as their chairs massaged them and their feet were pampered.

This was definitely the best way to prepare for a trip.

“Do you have everything you need for Hawaii?” Gabriella asked.

“I think so. I’m not thrilled with my bathing suit, but Alex and I agreed we’d shop when we got there. As it is, he was bummed I was coming out with you guys today for mani-pedis.”

“I’m sure he was fine once Zach and Ethan showed up,” Summer commented.

“Oh, sure. Pizza and babies. Every single guy’s dream Saturday,” Gabriella said with a small laugh.

“Alex loves kids,” Megan said with a serene smile. “He’s going to make a great dad someday.”

“Someday soon?” Gabriella asked with a grin.

With a shrug, Megan squirmed in her seat to get more comfortable. “Who knows? We’re starting a whole new phase of life. It’s anyone’s guess what surprises await us.”

“Ooh…I like the sound of that,” Summer said.

And for the first time in her life, Megan realized that being hyper-focused on having a plan was overrated. She couldn’t wait to find out what the future held for her and Alex.

And she wanted to be surprised by all of it.