Chapter Thirteen
Vassago was on pins and needles, waiting for the week to pass. That, coupled with the confusing emotions from Tuesday night, made him snap at everyone. Except Marie. He couldn’t even stand to leave her side.
He even tried to stay while she did nails Saturday morning, until she took him aside and asked him not to. It was making the women uncomfortable. When he asked why, she explained it was girl talk time, and they weren’t going to be as open as they wanted to be if he or one of the other men were there.
Finally, he sought out Digger who asked him when they were leaving for Brooklyn.
“I guess tomorrow.”
“You guess? What the fuck is wrong? Getting cold feet?”
“Fuck you. Of course not. We said we’d give him a week, and tomorrow is a week.” Donny had called every day to let Vassago know he was still trying to find the perfect person for the job, but Vassago began to wonder whether Donny had decided to let him and Digger take care of it, and the calls were nothing more than a formality.
He’d never ask his cousin this directly, but Donny had been talking about his wife and kids a lot more than usual. Vassago believed the attempted hit on Donny had really shaken up his family. Even though they all lived with that threat constantly, it was the first time it had hit so close to home, no pun intended. All the more reason why he and Digger needed to end this shit once and for all.
Digger laughed and snapped his fingers in front of Vassago’s face. “Where the fuck did you go just now?”
“Nowhere.”
“Christ. You really have it bad for Marie. This isn’t going to affect your performance on this job, is it?”
“I don’t have it bad for Marie. I’m fine.”
Digger laughed again. “Right. Okay. Just keep saying that, Jimmy.”
“Fuck you! What if I send you back home by yourself to take care of this?”
“What if you just admit you have a gigantic thing for her and be done with it?”
What if you drop dead? “I’d be a fucking fool to let myself have a thing for her. She’s not staying.”
“Only because no one has asked her to, numbnuts.”
“No, she’s not staying because she came here under false pretenses and will never stop apologizing for it.”
“Everyone here has accepted her apology and moved on. Doesn’t she know that?”
“No.” It hadn’t mattered that he kept reminding her how much the women in the building liked her, and appreciated having her right there to do their damn nails.
They were probably spending more money because Marie was living there than they’d have spent making appointments and going into town to one of the salons. She never turned anyone down. A few of the dancers sported a new color every fucking day.
“Well, then fucking reassure her of that and she’ll stay. What the fuck you waiting for?”
Good question. Even the fact that he and Gorgon still hadn’t formally talked about her staying hadn’t kept Vassago from wanting Marie so badly, he could hardly stand it. But he felt unsettled, as if too many things had to first fall in place before he could dare to hope she might be his one day.
All week long, he had waited for a phone call from Donny, saying that there was evidence di Stefano had discovered Marie was here, or that he’d found out Digger had paid someone to kill Vince. He’d waited to hear that Marie’s family had been hurt. But none of that happened. The silence was more unnerving than hearing the news itself. Until this was resolved, how the hell could he ask her to consider staying here?
And, he was assuming a lot about how she felt. Sure, they had a great time in bed, but she’d given him no indication that it was anything more to her than a fling. They were twelve years apart, for one thing. She was still young and had friends back home that she talked about all the time.
This wasn’t her home. She missed Brooklyn, even if she never said out loud that she did. How could he ask her to make a new life here? She’d left behind everything, including her family and plenty of unresolved issues. He understood all too well how those ate away at a person until they were taken care of.
But he couldn’t leave. This was his home, and these were his Brothers. This fucking sucked. For the first time in his life, he had no clear answers.
Digger was still talking about their trip when Vassago realized he’d never told Marie they were definitely going. “I have to go.”
“What? Wait a fucking minute. When are we leaving? Jesus Christ, Jimmy. Get your fucking head out of your ass.”
“Dawn. We’ll leave at dawn. Okay?”
“Great. Thanks. And what’s the plan?”
“We already made one. No need to change it, is there?”
“No, I guess not. It bugs me we’ve heard nothing.” A nasty shiver ran down Vassago’s spine as Digger’s words echoed his own earlier thoughts. “We should have.”
“Not if di Stefano can’t figure it out. It’s an advantage. He’ll be in a state of confusion, and that will make this easier for us.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I have to go.” As soon as he left the room, he went into Marie’s room to wait for her. He had to work in the club tonight, but before he went down there and got too busy, he wanted to make sure she knew he’d be gone for a few days, at least. He didn’t want her worrying, and he needed to know she’d be all right here until he returned.
****
Vassago had been too wired to sleep much, even after fucking Marie until his balls ached. It was Digger’s car, so he let him drive and pretended to sleep, but his mind wouldn’t quiet down. Finally, he gave up trying.
“You talk to Donny last night?” asked Digger.
“This morning already. He wasn’t sleeping well, he said.”
“He okay with this?”
Vassago shrugged. “He doesn’t have much of a choice, does he? We gave him a week. This has to be done.”
“And once it is, what are you gonna do about Marie?”
“I don’t know.”
Digger sighed. “You know, I may not be as old as you are, but I know when a man’s in love. And you are, my friend.”
Christ. Did it show that much? “What do you want me to say?”
“That you’ll fucking tell her that, asshole.”
No. No way. And have her give him that look women gave you when they were trying to think of a way out of a conversation? No fucking way. “She just got out of a bad relationship.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You and I both know she never loved Vince. She was doing what every girl who grows up in one of our families does. She was keeping it in a tight circle. We’re raised to do that. All of us. Keep things close. Keep things in the families. Stick to the people you know and trust.”
“So what makes you think she’d want me then? She has a life back home. She has friends she talks about all the time. Her family is there. It’s her roots. Ohio isn’t her home and never will be.”
“So, leave.”
“What?”
“Leave. Leave Ohio, leave the MC, come back to Brooklyn and marry Marie. Buy a fucking house. Have babies with her.”
“You’re out of your fucking mind.” The fact that all of that had crossed his mind was beside the point.
“No, you’re out of your fucking mind. You got hit by the Thunderbolt, my friend. What are you gonna do the rest of your life if you let her go back without you? Fuck the dancers until you get too fucking old and they get too fucking young? You gonna jerk off while you watch them dance when you’re fucking sixty years old, because none of them want to fuck a guy who’s forty years older than they are?”
“Whatever.” It was a lame thing to say, but Digger had nailed him and Vassago knew it.
“Oh, that’s a great answer, Jimmy. Really.”
“You know, for a guy who has never fallen in love, you sure fucking think you know a fucking lot about it.”
“How do you know I haven’t fallen in love?”
“Right. With who?”
“You’re missing my point.”
“I’m not missing your point, Digger. But it’s not that easy.”
“’Course it’s not. Is it fucking supposed to be easy? ‘Cause from where I’m sitting, it looks to me like love is a motherfucking pain in the ass.”
He turned to face Digger. “So why the fuck are you pushing me to tell Marie how I feel?”
“Because you’re a fucking mess. You have been since I brought her here.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to do anything about it.”
“And what if she’s back there right now, thinking the exact same thing about you? That she wishes she had the guts to tell you how she feels, but that she’s afraid you’d laugh or something?”
“She hasn’t given me the slightest indication she’s interested in me for anything more than a good time.” He hated admitting that. And saying it out loud made it more real. This was fucked up royally.
“Bullshit. Like you said, she just got her heart broken. You think she’s gonna let on she cares more for you than just for sex? She’s a proud girl, Jimmy. She isn’t gonna put that out there so her heart gets stomped on a second time. You’re gonna have to say it first.”
“All this time you’ve hung around MC members, and you still haven’t picked up on how we live, have you?” He’d be laughed out of the MC if any of the officers could hear this conversation right now.
“Yeah, I have. But you’re still just men underneath all that leather and the ink. And you’re in love with her. So stop acting like a fucking asshole and tell her. Or else you’re gonna lose her, Jimmy. She’s gonna go back to Brooklyn when this is all over, and you will regret it for the rest of your life.”