Kyle watched Dev go with an uneasy feeling in his gut. What was it about this Ceri girl? Things had been going so well with him and Dev—and then suddenly they weren’t. He’d practically run out of the house.
Maybe Kyle was imagining it.
Or maybe Dev had just got what he’d come for and hadn’t seen any point in staying.
Yes. That was probably it. After all, what were holiday flings for?
Sex, that was what. And Kyle was an idiot if he expected anything else.
Why the bloody hell hadn’t he thought to make arrangements to see Dev again before he’d left? Kyle loathed the ridiculous mathematics of working out the optimum interval before calling. Surely none of the normal rules applied when one party was only in the area for three weeks? Shouldn’t they be spending as much time together as possible? If this was all they’d ever have?
The thought left him with a hollow feeling in his chest.
He jumped when his phone rang. Kyle’s heart rose briefly—then sank again as he saw who it was. Not Dev. Mum.
It must be late afternoon in Perth, so hopefully this wasn’t an emergency, although he struggled to think why else his mum would be calling so soon after they’d last spoken. Maybe she wanted to remind him one of the kids’ birthdays was coming up? “Hello, Mum, everything all right?”
She didn’t bother with hello. “Jeffrey rang me.”
Oh hell.
“He said you hadn’t been answering his calls, and he was worried about you. And when I said, oh, yes, you seemed fine, although a little down about the breakup, he asked me if there was ‘any better news on the health front.’ So of course I asked him what he meant by that.” She finally paused for breath. “Kyle, what haven’t you been telling me? I’ve been worried half to death. Is it cancer? Darling, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I . . .” Kyle wasn’t sure which question to answer first. None of them, for preference. “He didn’t tell you?”
“Of course he didn’t! That’s why I’ve been so frightened. He just said I should talk to you about it, but not to worry too much. As if I could not worry. Darling, what’s wrong?”
Kyle closed his eyes. “It’s narcolepsy.”
There was a pause. “Narcolepsy? Is that the one where people get sleepy all the time?”
“Yes.” It was the path of least resistance.
“Oh, thank heavens.” There was laughter in her tone. “And here I was getting so worked up. Well, thank goodness it’s nothing serious.”
The overwhelming rush of hurt and betrayal that swept over him was irrational. Kyle knew that. Mum didn’t know what she was saying. Why should she? He hadn’t known the first thing about narcolepsy either, until he’d started to suffer from it. And it was fine. He hadn’t wanted her to worry about him, and now she wasn’t.
“Yes,” he forced himself to say. “Nothing serious.”
“Have you been to the doctor? I’m sure they can give you something for it. And there’s all these drinks with caffeine in nowadays, although they’re probably not very healthy to drink too much of. I know Lily, that’s my friend from church, she gets some pills when she’s flying. To help with the jetlag, of course. Now, what were they? Oh, yes. Melatonin, which I always thought was something to do with getting a suntan but apparently not. She says they work wonders for her. I’m sure you’d be able to get them over the counter at Boots. You can get all sorts of alternative remedies there these days.”
Kyle let her talk, and tried to listen to her voice, not the words. He’d heard them all before. She meant well. Just like all his former colleagues and friends who seemed to think narcolepsy was something you could cure with a couple of cups of coffee and a vitamin pill. God, if only it were that simple.
“And make sure you don’t work too hard,” she finished with. Just to remind Kyle he was still lying to her about more than just his illness.
Later that day, he went for a walk along the edge of the cliff overlooking the beach. It was still too early to take the path down and walk along the sand—there were families there, and a few couples, seeking more quiet and privacy than was afforded by the more commercial beach on the other side of the headland. Kyle envied them. “I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I do not think that they will sing for me.” He’d never been much of one for poetry, preferring visual art forms to stark words, but the long-ago-read lines crept into his head all the same.
Kyle stood and gazed out across the endless blue water, sparkles of sunlight dancing across the waves. “I should have been a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas.”
Was it over? Kyle wasn’t even sure what it was—him and Dev? Life itself?—but something inside him rebelled at the thought. No.
It wasn’t over.
At least, not yet.
He should have brought his sketchbook with him. There was a wealth of beauty out here waiting to be captured. Next time he’d think of that. There was one thing he could do right now, however.
Kyle took one last look at the sea, then turned towards the pottery with a newly confident tread to ask about using their facilities.
Kyle woke up on the sofa. The sun was low in the sky, casting a rich orange glow into his living room, and there was the sound of banging. He blinked at Dev through the living room window, which was presumably what had been taking a beating. Dev raised his eyebrows and made a complicated gesture Kyle would have struggled to interpret if it hadn’t been pretty obvious from the situation that he was asking to be let in.
A shame the builders of the cottage hadn’t installed French windows, Kyle thought as he opened the front door and waited for Dev to walk round from the back.
“For future reference, there’s a key under the stone,” he said when Dev appeared.
“Yeah? Cheers, mate.” Dev looked happier about it than it seemed to merit.
“Were you waiting long?” Kyle stood back to let Dev in the door.
Dev kicked off his trainers and padded over to the sofa. He sat on it with such an expectant look on his face that Kyle sat beside him almost without deciding to do so. “Nah, just ten minutes or so. Was it all right, waking you up? I’d have left you, but I thought it was probably a bit late for you to be napping, so . . .”
“No, you’re right.” It was also a little late for Dev to be calling on him for any other reason than because he intended to stay the night. Desire surged even as he felt an irrational sense of hurt at the apparent confirmation that this was all he was useful for to Dev. “Busy day?” he asked, almost entirely certain he’d kept his tone mild and even.
“Nah, just lazed around with Ceri. She went home for tea, and I went back to the B&B for a bit to put me feet up in the garden.” Dev grinned suddenly, the picture of relaxation with one foot resting on the opposite knee. “Fell asleep, didn’t I? I blame you being a bad influence. Lucky I was in the shade or I’d have got well burned. You ever done that?”
“Only once.” So far. “Have you eaten? I’ve got some leftovers from tea, if not.” He’d cooked extra just in case. More fool him.
“Nah, I’m good, ta. Grabbed a burger on the way.” Dev hesitated. “You all right? You seem a bit . . . I dunno. Not up for company tonight? I mean, I know it’s late . . .”
“It’s fine,” Kyle said quickly.
“I’d have come round earlier but like I said . . .”
“You fell asleep.” The irony of Dev’s excuse wasn’t lost on Kyle. “Well, I suppose it makes a change for me to be on this end of it.”
“Yeah. I felt like a right twat when I woke up. At least you’ve got a good excuse.”
“For being a twat?”
“No, you cock.” Still smiling, Dev glanced pointedly at the six inches of sofa between them. “You coming over here or what?”
“We could go straight upstairs.” Even as he said it, Kyle was sliding over to close the gap, but it felt awkward, somehow. As if he were following stage directions rather than acting of his own volition.
There was a beat of silence. “In a hurry, are you?”
“No, I just thought—”
Dev gave him a serious look. “I didn’t just come here to get my leg over. I mean, don’t get me wrong . . . Just, no hurry, is there?”
“Oh. Okay. Would you like a drink?”
“Glass of water would be good. Tell you what, I’ll get ’em.” Dev jumped up and headed into the kitchen.
Kyle took a deep breath. Why were things so strained between them? Was it him? Was he subconsciously resenting Dev’s abrupt disappearance this morning?
He tried to force himself to relax as Dev returned with the drinks.
“So what did you get up to today?” Dev asked, sitting back down close beside him.
Kyle couldn’t help feeling a frisson of an entirely different type of tension where their legs pressed up against each other. “I finally got around to going into the pottery.”
“Yeah? So are they cool with you using their stuff?”
He nodded, smiling at the memory. “I didn’t have anything with me, but they seemed quite interested when I showed some photographs of the kind of things I’ve made. They’re happy for me to go along there in the evenings, after they close.” The timing wasn’t ideal for his alertness, but if he made sure he got his naps, he’d manage.
“That’s great.” Dev gave a worried frown. “Uh, were you planning to go there tonight? ’Cos I can piss off if you want.”
“No, it’s fine. I spent over an hour there this afternoon, and I don’t want to wear out my welcome.” Kyle paused. “Oh, and I told Mum about my narcolepsy.” He didn’t confess he’d been more or less forced into it.
Dev looked, predictably, pleased. “Yeah? Good on you, mate. How did she take it?”
She laughed it off. “Very well. She didn’t seem too worried.”
“Uh, seriously? What exactly did you tell her?”
This conversation was not going the way Kyle had hoped it would. “Just that I have it.”
“Uh-huh. So she basically ain’t got a clue how bad it is?”
“She’s the other side of the world. What would be the point in upsetting her?”
“Yeah, but mate . . .” Dev trailed off, shaking his head. “Nah, she’s your mum.”
There was a slight emphasis on your. Kyle wasn’t entirely certain what Dev was getting at, but he was more than willing to leave it if Dev was. “Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?” he asked instead.
“Don’t come here just for meals, either.” Dev grinned. “Hey, can I see some of those pottery pics? I’ve only seen your mugs so far.”
Kyle dutifully got out his phone and showed a few of the bowls and vases he’d constructed, flicking quickly past the ones that hadn’t turned out so well.
“You still got all these?”
“I’d have enough to open a small shop by now if I did. No, mostly I give them away. Generally my colleagues at chambers bear the brunt.”
“Heh, that’s one perk of being a lawyer I wouldn’t have expected. Hey, have you got any pics of you in the full legal getup?”
Kyle frowned. “I don’t . . . Yes, actually, now I think about it.” He got up and fetched his laptop from the dining room. “Let me find it . . . Here. This is Sujata Das, my colleague, and me, just after a trial we worked on together.” It was odd, staring at this former version of himself. He was clean-shaven and radiated smug confidence.
Dev laughed. “Bloody hell, the wig’s bigger than she is. But you’re looking good, mate. Very good. Gotta say though, I like you with the beard and all.” He turned to stroke Kyle’s now hirsute cheek, then pulled him in for a kiss.
Finally, finally something felt right. Kyle sank into the kiss, tasting Dev’s familiar mild spice, this time with a hint of ketchup. He shifted to get closer—and almost dropped the laptop. “Bugger.”
“Hey, don’t put it away yet. I wanna see some more photos.”
“I don’t think I’ve got any more of me in court dress on here. Sorry.”
“What, not even on your website? I mean, you got a website, right? Or, well, this firm you and Sujata work for?”
“Almshouse Chambers. That’s what it’s called. But I’m afraid we’re in plain clothes there.” Kyle quickly typed the URL into his browser, and navigated to his own personal page within the site.
Dev read aloud. “Year of call, Inner Temple . . . Jesus, it’s like you’re a priest or something.”
Kyle stifled a laugh. “Hardly. The call is the call to the bar, meaning I got through my Bar Professional Training Course and qualifying sessions. And Inner Temple is just the name of the professional organisation I joined. It’s one of the Inns of Court. It’s been around since the twelfth century, in some form.”
“Yeah, and let me guess, they ain’t changed a thing since then?”
“More than you’d think. The Knights Templar were the original founders, and sorry if this comes as a disappointment, but I haven’t actually got an arsenal of weapons and a suit of armour stashed away back in Surrey.”
“Probably just as well. Weren’t they the ones that went round killing people who looked like me?” Dev’s smile was definitely on the grim side. “So what, you get this call and then you’re a barrister?”
“No, then you have to do your pupillage. But that’s only another year.”
“And then you get to wear the wig?”
“And then you get to wear the wig. You know, you seem to have something of a wig fixation. Are you perhaps a drag queen in your spare time?”
“Nah. Sorry if that comes as a disappointment. But if I was, I’d be fabulous, darling.” Dev fluttered his eyelashes and blew Kyle an exaggerated kiss.
It was back—the lightness Kyle was used to feeling in Dev’s company. He could tell he was smiling helplessly, so he closed up the laptop and put it to one side. Then he slipped an arm around Dev and kissed him.