“Dammit,” I curse as I remove the collapsed German chocolate cake, from the oven. Dropping it on top of the stove with a clatter, I shake my head as I take in the flat mess. “Perfect Hannah. You had one job to do.”

“Hey,” Danny enters our kitchen, stares and points at the mess. “What happened?”

“It’s this damn oven. Remember how the other day the cupcakes weren’t cooked? Well, I set the temperature a bit higher and now it’s ruined my chocolate cake.” I wipe a strand of hair out of my face. “Can you go to the store and grab ingredients to make another?”

“Hannah, I have some work stuff I need to get done before going to bed. Why don’t you make something else?”

I glare at him. “Because, the customer asked for a German chocolate delight not something else.” I know I’m taking it out on him, but I’m honestly not asking for much.

“Fine, I guess that’s important.” He’s using that tone, the one he always has when he’s annoyed. Lately, he’s been using it a lot. “Just make me a list, I’ll go in a few.”

“You know what, nevermind, I’ll go. I need some air.” I’m lying, I don’t need air, but I’d rather be the one going, than arguing with him later when he’s brought me the wrong stuff.

“Cool, I’ll go finish my work.”

“Fine.” Slipping my apron off, I grab my keys when Danny says. “Can I eat that? I don’t care that it’s ruined.” I nod, knowing whatever words leave my mouth will start a fight I don’t have the strength to deal with.

* * *

Standing in front of the baking items shelf, tears start running down my cheeks. I’m tired, and in a bad mood. I just wish Danny could’ve come to the store so I could start the batch of brownies I need to make.

It’s times like this when I miss my mom the most. Instinctively, I touch the ring that once belonged to my grandmother and later, my mom. A gold band with a rare Alexandrite stone on the mount. “Never take it off,” my mother said when she gave it to me on my eighteenth birthday, “not until it’s time for you to pass it on to one of your children.” I laughed, “not even to wash the dishes? C’mon mom, it’ll be a long time before I have any kids and I see a lot of dirty pans and baking supplies in my future.” She died three years later, and there’s not one day where I don’t think of her and miss her terribly. The ring is my most prized possession, one that I treasure dearly.

My phone vibrates in my pocket making me jump. I pull it out and read a text from Danny.

Danny: Are you still at the store? We ran out of milk.

Without replying, I grab the stuff I need and walk to the dairy aisle.

* * *

Once the second batch of brownies is out and cooling I put my second attempt of the chocolate cake inside the oven. I’m tired and my achy limbs protest in exhaustion. I sit and open Instagram to pass the time. I can’t afford to fall asleep until I’m done.

I’m in the middle of watching Buddy Valastro’s fondant icing technique when an incoming call from a strange number appears in my screen. I hesitate, but answer anyway.

“Hello?”

“Hannah.”

“Dad?” My father’s voice sounds strange, and panic washes over me. “Dad, what’s wrong? Where are you calling me from?”

“Hannah,” he starts. His voice breaks, “your sister has been in an accident.”

* * *

I frantically approach the nurse at the front desk of the emergency room at Sharp Grossmont Hospital. “Excuse me, I’m looking for my sister. She was in a car accident and the ambulance brought her here.”

“What’s her name?” the nurse questions.

“Sorry, yeah, Holly. Holly Hartley.” Her nails tap away on the keyboard, as she looks at me with pity. I swear she can hear the sound of my beating heart threatening to pop out of my chest. Unable to shake the fear that washed over me since my dad’s call, I try to breathe slowly and gain some composure.

“Hannah.” Turning, I see my father walking toward me, his face a reflection of my own emotions. Losing my mother to cancer, means the hospital is familiar to us. Being here is bringing up unwanted and painful memories, even if my dad hasn’t said anything.

“Dad, what happened? How’s Holly?”

“I don’t know, she’s in surgery. I haven’t been able to see her yet.”

We walk back to the waiting area, hoping the doctor comes out to update us soon.

After an hour without an update, I go outside and type a quick text to my boss, letting her know what happened. Next I start typing a text to Danny, but decide to call him instead.

“What?” His voice is groggy from sleep.

“Hey, I’m sorry for waking you. I just wanted to tell you I’m staying here until we know Holly’s alright. I messaged Nat about picking up the orders, she’s probably gonna be there early in the morning. Can you make sure everything’s okay when she arrives?”

I hear a heavy sigh, “Hannah, I know it’s bad timing but I don’t think I can do this.”

“Danny, just make sure she collects all the stuff I left in the cooling racks and…”

“That’s not what I meant,” he cuts me off. “I think we need to take a break. We’ve both got a lot going on, and I don’t feel we’re on the same page anymore.”

“Really, Danny? You’re doing this right now?” I ask, the anger bubbling up inside my stomach.

“What do you expect? When I try to talk to you, you shut me out. Whenever I ask you to go out with me, you’re always too tired. I’m sick of making excuses when people ask me about you. It’s like we’re not even together anymore, and…”

“And what? Spit it out.”

“We haven’t even had sex in months.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I can’t believe you right now. My sister’s been in a horrible car accident, I have no idea how she is or what’s gonna happen, and you want to talk about sex? What part of all this hasn’t gotten through that head of yours?”

He tries to speak but now I’m the one cutting him off. “We’ve known each other for eight years, Danny. My mom always liked you and my dad treats you like a son. They welcomed you into our family even when we were just friends, and still you weren’t there when my mom died. And now that my sister is in the hospital, you didn’t offer to come with me. You can’t even help me out when I’m swamped with orders, and need to pick up things from the store. So, I’m sorry if sex is the last thing on my mind.”

“It’s all my fault then, because I can’t handle being in a hospital and because I don’t do the groceries,” he scolds, “I have a job too, a job I hate but took because we had plans, plans you clearly don’t care about anymore.”

“What plans? You mean getting a new car? The vacation trip?”

“What about starting a life together? What about us getting married?” he retorts.

“Please, don’t give me that. We’ve been dating for five years and the one time I asked when would we set a date you laughed at me and said it was too soon,” I remind him.

“Because I’m not sure if I’m still in love with you anymore,” he pauses, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that.”

“Out loud,” I emphasize, “You didn’t mean to say it out loud.” I wait for the damn to break but I might be out of tears, because they never come. “You don’t love me?”

“It’s not that simple,” he tries to explain, “I love you, Hannah. You’ve been my best friend for a long time. I just don’t feel like you and I want the same things anymore, I -” his voice breaks and I already know what he’s going to say. “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.”

“How long have you felt this way?” I crumble on the floor, reliving memories of our time together.

“A while,” he answers, vaguely.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” I ask myself the same question. Things have been different and I can’t even remember the last time we felt more like a couple than friends.

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I assumed we were having an off moment, like all couples do. I thought it would pass. But it just seemed to grow every day and after today, well, I’m more convinced this isn’t something that’ll go away.” We’re both silent. The minutes feel like a lifetime. I want to break down, to cry and tell him we can work it out, start fresh, but my head and my heart are telling me different things and this is how I know he’s right. Things have changed between us, I just was too busy to see it.

“I’ll pack a bag and stay at Gary’s while we figure all this out,” he offers, but I already know it’s over. Why delay the unavoidable?

“There’s no need to figure anything out. You’re right, we grew apart. It’s best if we end it now and move on.”

“Hannah.” The sound of my name isn’t the same as it used to be, and I wonder when was the last time he spoke to me as his lover. I know Danny isn’t a bad guy and he’s not trying to hurt me. What he fails to understand is that what hurts is that he was my friend first, and he couldn’t be open about his feelings or the lack of them. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” I whisper. Those are the last words we say to each other.

* * *

“I come bearing presents,” Nat waves a brown bag and a tray with three cups of coffee in front of me. I stand from the uncomfortable chair on the side of my sister’s bed. “You’re a godsend, I was just saying I’d kill for a decent cup of coffee.”

My dad shakes his head, “and I was just telling her how she needed to switch to tea. The caffeine makes her restless at night.”

“Well, this is decaf, but I promise you won’t notice any difference.” Nat smiles. “Let’s go have breakfast at the cafeteria while Holly is still asleep.”

Holly’s stable. She had a severe concussion, her left arm is fractured and right leg is broken. Doctors have said she’ll need a lot of physical therapy to recover, but it seems like a small price to pay to have her still with us.

We let the nurse know we’re going down to the cafeteria for a quick bite to eat. “Have you heard from Danny?” Nat asks as we sit at one of the tables.

“Nope.” I take the lid off my cup and blow before taking a sip. “Not a word.”

“He and I will be having a talk the next time we cross paths,” my dad declares. Dad is hurting because Danny and him had their own relationship. He was like the son he never had, and now he’s treating him like a stranger.

“There’s no need for that, dad. It’s not just on him, it was me too, and I promise you I’m fine. All that’s on my mind right now is to help Holly recover, and find a way to convince my boss to give me a raise,” I joke.

“Well, now that you mention it, your boss might have a way to help you earn that raise.” Nat says. Intrigued, I gesture for her to continue. “You know how Mrs. Donovan asked us to handle the catering for her daughter’s wedding?” I nod. “Well, if we can get our hands on more wedding accounts, I’ll make you my partner. We’ll both handle them and we can split the money equally. How’s that sound?” My smile mirrors the one on her face.

“Geez, Nat, that would be amazing. What do I need to do? Where do I sign?”

Nat and my dad laugh at my enthusiasm. “Have you heard of the Bride World Expo?” I shake my head. “It’s one of the biggest conventions on the West Coast and it happens to be next week. I want you to go and see what they’re offering, take some notes and bring back fresh ideas. I want to know the market and know what we’re up against.

My smile vanishes almost instantly. “Nat, this is a great offer but I can’t afford to go right now. Not with Holly’s condition.”

“Of course you can,” my dad interrupts. “Your sister is getting better and this is a huge opportunity, Hannah. I won’t let you not accept it.”

“Me neither,” Nat agrees. “I’ll help your dad keep an eye on Holly and besides, I might have already made the arrangements for you to attend.”

A squeal of excitement escapes me and I cringe when I notice the stares thrown my way, but I brush them off.

L.A. here I come.