Gretchen

The candles were lit, wine was breathing, and I’d wiggled into the slinkiest teddy I owned.

But, since this was my life and not a fairy tale, the candle was a half-used citronella from the deck, the wine came out of a box, and my lingerie was basically an oversized tank top with a variety of ragged holes in fortuitous places.

I’d expected Marius. Instead, I’d opened the door to my father.

Uh-oh.

I slammed the door shut in his face and fell backwards, tugging my tank over my pantyless ass.

“Hold on!”

Ambrose had chewed a pair of shoes by the door and left them in the middle of the floor. A good enough place to trip. I landed on a pile of roses I’d swiped from Mrs. Bentley’s garden. Figured the scattered petals would look romantic.

Forgot to pick the thorns off.

That was a spiky lesson to learn.

Pants. I needed pants. I slithered into my jeans without any underwear and figured it’d be more comfortable than confronting Dad with a bare booty. The shirt? A lost cause. I tucked the tank into the jeans and covered it with a robe from my shower. The terrycloth was still wet, but it was better than nothing.

Dad was patient. Confused, but patient. His eyebrows rose as the door opened. “Bad time?”

I wrapped the robe over my chest, the damp cotton clinging to my skin. Hopefully, Dad couldn’t tell how cold I was. I offered him a hug.

“Never a bad time.” I said. “But, uh…what are you doing here?”

Unannounced.

At least he’d arrived before Marius. Easier for only one naked person to answer the door.

Age had not slowed my father or diminished his confidence. A little gray dotted his temples, but he wore it well. I might have inherited Mom’s cocoa skin, but Dad was just a shade darker. He had kind eyes, freckles dusting his nose, and he’d lost about twenty pounds in preparation for the wedding. Not quite like looking in the mirror, but that was good. He’d always liked that I’d reminded him of Mom.

Dad jerked a thumb to the tent pitched in the backyard. “Going camping?”

I sucked in a breath. “Kinda.”

Marius’s suggestion.

Since he couldn’t fit—refused to fit—in my cottage, and, as we couldn’t do what we needed to do in a farmhouse full of four Payne brothers, one sister, her boyfriend, his two nieces, and a pregnant, cranky Micah, we’d improvised. The tent was rated for Everest, a couple down blankets had kept us warm and dry, and the air mattress had a double liner…in case his prosthetic happened to puncture another hole.

Necessity might have been the mother of invention, but desperation had knocked her up.

I welcomed Dad into the house though he ducked as he passed through the doorway. He glanced over the combo kitchen/living room/study but didn’t hide his distaste.

“I told you,” he said. “I told you that you’d regret living in this shed. I said I’d help you build a real house.”

We’d had this conversation a dozen times before, and we’d fight about it for years into the future.

“It’s a cottage.”

“Promise me you’ll move into my house once we head to the Bahamas.”

“Why? I’m never at home, Dad. I’m always outside. Even when I come home, I sit out on the porch and just enjoy the sun.”

“You can’t be happy here.”

“I am. Plus, it let me keep an eye on your while you were working,” I said. “My own little place.”

“Little’s right.”

“It’s big enough for me and Ambrose.”

But not for Marius.

And certainly not for a baby.

At least they were small when they popped out.

Dad made a beeline for the kitchen counter. What I lacked in space, I made up for in whipped cream, cherries, and chocolate fudge.

Dad’s sweet tooth gave me cavities. “Making a sundae?”

Now, what answer could I possibly give to my father that wouldn’t scar either us for life? Whipped cream had seemed fun, cherries were my favorite, and who didn’t like a squirt of chocolate on their lady bits? Of all the devilish plans I had for those desserts, and all the places I’d wanted to be topped with those toppings, none of my fantasies had included Dad taking the first bite.

“Yep. A sundae.” I had no ice cream, but I made a show of scanning the freezer. Fortunately, a year-old Fudgsicle had frozen to the back wall. I warmed it in my hand and chiseled it to bits in a bowl. “You know you’re not supposed to have sweets.”

Dad took the ice cream and sunk onto the built-in bench by the fold-away table. “Don’t worry. Chloe’s got me on this crazy diet. Raw food. Vegan or something. I can’t eat anything that can feel pain. Of course, I die a little at every dinner, but she says it’s good for me.”

Chloe could get my dad eating healthy? Miss Kitty packed a punch. “I’m surprised you’re listening to her.”

He added half of the container of whipped cream to his bowl. So much for my appetizer. “Well, she’s worried about me.”

“I’m worried about you too.”

He nodded. “I realize I’m getting older.”

And standing next to her didn’t make him look any younger. “Yep.”

“And I want to make sure I’m around for a good long time.” Dad raised his eyebrows. “Don’t want you panicking. I’m not sick. I’m just saying that, in the future…”

“I know, Dad.”

He lowered the bowl to the table and nervously wiped his hands on his pants. “Look, sunshine. I meant to talk to you…before the wedding.”

I really didn’t need to talk. I’d seen the first showing.

Even got the double feature.

“Dad, I know what you’re going to say,” I said.

He raised a hand. “Just…let me speak. Yes…Chloe is young.”

“So, she’ll get carded at her own wedding.” I shrugged. “So what?”

“She makes me feel young again.”

Strange. She made everybody else feel like adults. “Dad, you’re not that old. You don’t have to…”

“I know, I know. But I love her. And she loves me. It was fast. And it was a shock to you.”

A shock was him showing up at the house without calling first. This was a defibrillator in a lightning storm. “I just want you to be happy, Dad.”

“It’s not puppy love, sunshine.”

No. It had looked straight-up doggystyle. I nodded. “I just want you to be happy for a long time.”

Dad reached for my hand. “I will be. Everything’s going to work out. You’ll see. You just…need to spend some more time with Chloe. She adores you.”

Yeah, kids tended to like me. “Maybe that would help.”

“We’re going to have a good life together. A lot of changes are heading our way, sunshine. And…and I wanted you to hear it from me first.”

Oh God. I’d already moved the alcohol to the tent. “Dad—”

“Gretchen…you’re gonna be a big sister.”

And there was the headache. I sighed. I sure as hell wouldn’t tell him that I already knew—that I had heard it that night. Again.

And again.

And again.

I plopped onto the bench next to him. “Well…”

But Dad surprised me. His grin etched from ear to ear. The enthusiasm was infectious, and so were probably half a dozen other things Chloe was carrying, but at least he was happy.

“Congratulations.” I let out a puff of air and tried to not sound bitter. At least someone in the family was having a baby. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”

“Sunshine, this is the greatest thing to happen to our little family since…” He nudged me. “Well, since you were born. I hadn’t thought about having any other kids, but every baby is a blessing. A miracle, really.”

Yeah. A miracle. I’d need some divine intervention if I was going to have one of my own this century.

“Was it her idea?” I asked.

Dad hedged. “Oh, it’s not that easy. You’ll find out some day. One day you’ll be in love, you’ll think of something crazy…and the next day, it’s yours.” He shrugged. “But Chloe was adamant. Said age is all about how you feel, and she convinced me. I’d feel much younger if I was a father again.”

My stomach twisted. “You never stopped being a father.”

“Oh, you know what I mean. You’re all grown up. You don’t need me hovering around, getting in your way. Doesn’t mean I won’t miss you once I’m in the Bahamas, but you’re an adult. You have your own life in front of you.”

My words softened. “Doesn’t mean I want you to leave.”

He nodded. “There comes a time in a man’s life when he’s ready for change. He has to follow his heart. And Chloe is in my heart now. Firmly embedded, let me tell you. She’s a little spitfire…”

“Stop.” The nightmare returned. “I don’t need any details.”

“Just know she’s making your old man pretty happy.”

Entirely too happy if he asked me. And most of that happiness required good cardiovascular health and a strong back. He was supposed to relax in his golden years. Not…

Have a baby.

Dad squeezed my hand. “We wanted you to know first. Chloe’s so excited, she’s raring to tell everyone.”

I could understand why. It had happened so easily for them. Why not shout it from the rooftops?

But a month before the wedding? Couldn’t they have waited the extra month, just to alleviate some gossip that would ensnarl Butterpond for the next year?

A crash clattered from the porch. I groaned, but Ambrose had begun his nightly ritual of herding the trash cans. I flung open the door, calling my dog to the house.

“Ambrose, you damn mutt. How many times do I have to chase you out of the garbage?”

The dog returned only once he’d rolled in everything wet, grimy, and stinky. Great. I’d have to hose him down tonight. Just what I needed busting through the tent at two in the morning. I whistled for him to come, and he trotted to the door, proud to bursting of the bone he’d found in the trash.

No…

Not a bone…

I dove for Ambrose, but he raced into the house. Dad shouted, dropping his bowl as Ambrose whipped under his feet. The whipped cream was the only force in the universe powerful enough to stop the dog. He dropped the pregnancy test at Dad’s feet and stole the ice cream instead.

Dad picked up the test. My heart sunk.

At least I wouldn’t get in trouble. The damn thing was negative.

Second month in a row.

“Sunshine…” Dad read the label. “I…”

I pulled it from his hands before he could ask too many questions. “It’s fine, Dad.”

“Chloe said she’d run into you at the pharmacy.”

Not the way to ingratiate herself with her future stepdaughter. “Please, don’t worry about it.”

Dad sighed. “Gretchen, this is why I came by to visit.”

“She told you about the test?”

He sucked in a breath. “I realize you lost your mom early. And growing up…I never really had a proper talk with you. Never took the time to explain about boys and relationships…and what men will expect of you.”

Oh God, no. I did not need a talk about the birds and the bees from my father, not when I’d had a front-row seat to that hive and nest.

“Dad, I’m twenty-four years old,” I said. “I think I’ve figured it out.”

He pointed to the pregnancy test. “But you’re not married. You’re not even dating anyone. And then this happens…”

“This…” I plucked the used pregnancy test from his hand and tossed it into the garbage. Ambrose dove in headfirst to retrieve the damn thing again. He wasn’t helping. “This is not what you think it is. I have everything under control.”

Dad didn’t believe me, but I that was just his job. “Guys tend to hang around pretty girls for the wrong reasons. You have to know what they really want, what they hope to get from you.”

“Dad.”

“Men don’t always act…gentlemanly. Sometimes they’re only after one thing. You’re a lovely girl, and I know you haven’t had a lot of…experiences.”

“Dear God, Dad, can we not talk about this?”

“Think about it…like a dog.” Oh, great. The vet was talking now. “Heat is an overwhelming experience. Yowling. Scratching at the door. Racing through the dog park.” He wagged a finger at me. “But if you let that wiener dog anywhere near your pug—”

“Dad!”

“Oh, the Shih tzu’ll be in.”

Mortification felt a lot like swallowing a brick. “I’m begging you. Don’t make me speak, roll over, and play dead too.”

He mercifully relented. “I just want you to find a good man. Someone who won’t take advantage of you.”

“You realize you’re a fifty-eight-year-old man marrying a twenty-two-year-old?” I raised my eyebrows. “Leading from example?”

Dad did look shamed, I’d give him that. “You know I love Chloe. And I’m treating her like the princess she is.”

Scratch another nickname off. Kitty. Princess. I’d be out of pet names before the wedding.

He reached into his pocket and handed me a gift. “Just, promise me…”

What had been a nice gift-wrapped box for a designer wristwatch was now filled to the brim with condoms.

I slammed the lid shut. “Dad!”

“I’m just looking out for you.”

Jesus, suddenly Bermuda wasn’t nearly far enough away. “For Christ’s sake. I’m trying to have a baby.”

Not the declaration an unwed, underemployed daughter should have uttered.

Dad frowned. “You’re…trying?”

“Yes.”

He stood. “With who?”

“Marius Payne.”

“Marius…Marius Payne? The soldier?”

“SEAL actually.”

This impressed Dad…or confirmed that he’d be unable to easily hunt Marius with his twelve gauge.

“Why…what…”

“You like the Paynes,” I said.

“Yeah, but I’m not sleeping with them!”

“It’s really complicated, and not something I’d like to discuss with my father.” I guided him back to his seat. “But we’re together, in a sense. And we want it to happen.”

“You are trying to have a baby?”

No signs of a stroke. So far, so good. “Yes.”

He hesitated for a long moment before a smile appeared. “I’m gonna be a pappy?”

Oh, thank God. I’d much prefer him to be called Pappy and not that man who chopped the Payne boy into kibbles with an ice cream spoon.

I pushed the box of condoms into his hand and hoped we’d never speak of it again. “It seems neither of us need these.”

The excitement seemed to war with his concern. He paused. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Like you said. A baby is a blessing.”

“But you don’t have a ring on your finger yet.” He pointed at me. “Are you in a relationship with this man?”

Sort of. “Yeah.”

“Do you love him?”

Whoa. I raise my hands. It did nothing. The question was out there now, and there was absolutely nothing either of us could do to take it back.

My stomach turned. What could I say?

Marius and I had spent two beautiful months together—most of the time in each other’s arms…and beds.

Did that mean I was in love with them?

I had no idea.

Sure, I giggled when he said my name. Yes, my heart fluttered anytime he took my hand. And he had an uncanny ability to steal my breath with a kiss.

But he could touch me, pleasure me, take me…and he’d still be a complete mystery. And for as much as I longed to unwrap his secrets, the problem remained.

Marius didn’t know who he was. Didn’t know what he wanted, what he needed, how to heal.

Until he figured that out, I wouldn’t let myself fall in love.

“He makes me happy,” I said. That wasn’t a lie. In fact, he’d made me happier in the past two months than I’d been in the past two years. “I think I really like him, Dad.”

He said nothing, but that didn’t mean nothing was said. Dad had that ability—holding entire conversations in stony silence. He glanced around my little cottage, practically counting the timber that framed the two hundred square-foot area. There wasn’t much.

He took a heavy breath. “I’m not going.”

“…Going where?”

“Bermuda.”

My jaw practically dropped. The rest of me fell forward with it. I clutched the table.

“What do you mean you’re not going?”

Dad gently smiled. “How can I leave Butterpond when my baby is having a baby?”

My heart swelled. “Are you serious?”

“There’s no way I’d leave town, let alone the country, if I had a grandchild.”

“What about Chloe?”

“Hell, Chloe will love it. A pregnancy buddy. We can…raise the kids together. One big happy family.”

Tears prickled my eyes. “Don’t kid with me right now. It’s been an emotional month.”

Dad took me in his arms. “You’re my daughter. I love you. And you’re gonna need help.”

I laughed. “I’ve got it covered.”

He touched my cheek. “Sunshine, you’re not married. And, from what I hear, Marius Payne has some injuries. Bad ones. Things he needs to fix if he hopes to get his life together. Just in case this…relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll need someone there to help.”

“Marius and I might not be married, but we…understand each other.”

“Does he understand himself?” Dad accepted my quiet hesitation as an answer. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. And, if I’m in Butterpond, I can make sure it doesn’t happen. I’ll never stop being your father, Gretchen…but I sure as hell would like to start being a grandfather.”

He pulled me into a hug, but the excitement was short-lived.

Sure, Dad would be home. And I could keep an eye on him…and a closer eye on Chloe. God only knew what would happen once they were married. Hell, once they’d known each other for longer than five months.

But I’d just complicated everything. Dad would be staying in Butterpond…

But Marius?

Marius would be in DC. And he’d expect me and the baby to be there as well.

I hugged Dad, but my stomach curdled.

If I ever expected a relationship with Marius, if I ever wanted to give him my heart, we had to be together. Me. Him. The baby.

What the hell was I going to tell him?