Chapter Fifte en

Jacob

People irritated me. Not really because they were there but because they fucking existed in tiny fucking worlds where how to pay a bill was the biggest worry they had. Could be that my father’s wealth had been neatly stashed away, and I had taken the lot of it, so I didn’t give a shit about a bill. I could pay for what I wanted, when I wanted, and made sure none of it led back to me.

At least that bastard I called a father was good for that.

I stomached the people for a while so I could search the local listings for abandoned properties. But before that, I needed to find out where the good doctor lived. Wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. There were no listings for her living address on any public sites, so I hacked a few places—like the employee section of her business website. A few more keystrokes and I had her home address in Rockford. My girl lived about an hour and forty-five minutes from where she worked. It was crazy, but that meant she was nice and far away from her killing zone. We’d revisit that later.

Alana was smart, obviously. The way she’d snatched that guy said she had done this a few times. That was hot as hell. And it also meant she took some of what she’d learned at the hand of dear old Dad to keep things running smoothly. There was a caveat, however. She was a prominent figure in the Chicago community and couldn’t risk doing the dirty deeds from her own home. Which left me to look at abandoned places for sale. She’d have purchased hers—to make sure a buyer couldn’t come through at any time—and would have made sure it couldn’t be linked back to her.

Easiest way to narrow it down? Look for places for sale near locations that looked empty but weren’t for sale. It took about fifteen minutes, but I compiled a good list and printed it out. A few clicks and the browser history was wiped. That wouldn’t be good enough, of course, so I took the extra step. Watching to make sure no one was being fucking nosy, I plugged in my USB and booted the ISO image of the program I had on it. After a bit of a wait, and the hard drive was wiped. Someone was going to have the very hard job of reformatting and installing everything on the computer. But erased was much different than deleted, and I didn’t want anyone trailing my searches to me or Alana. I powered down the computer, put my sunglasses on, and walked out with a whistle. A short walk to my car parked over a couple of blocks and I was heading out to the first abandoned property on my list.

I relaxed on the drive, enjoying the sights, knowing I was getting closer to Alana. Every mile I passed was a little more distance I closed between us. Thinking maybe I should check on her alibi, I got out my phone and dialed her office.

“You’ve reached the offices of Winters, Miller, and Sui. How can I help you today?”

Winters, the name she was going by now—Nila Winters. It was sexy, but I liked that I knew the real her. That I knew a part of her many didn’t know. Like it was a secret between us.

“Yes, I’d like to make an appointment with Ms. Winters, if I could. She was recommended to me by another patient.”

“We’d be happy to assist you. Can I have your name and know if you are a part of an indigent program, have health insurance, or private pay?”

“Jonas Gilden and private pay, thank you.”

“Well, Mr. Gilden, Ms. Winters will be out of the office for a conference, but she will be returning Monday. Can we schedule you in at that time?”

“I’d like that. First thing in the morning, please.”

“No problem. She has a 9 a.m. open.”

“That’s perfect.”

“Please arrive thirty minutes early to your first appointment in order to fill out paperwork and file your payment options. The first visit is a consultation, which is free. At that point, Ms. Winters will design the program that works best for you.”

“I appreciate it, see you then.”

“Have a great day, Mr. Gilden.”

I didn’t answer as I hung up. It was Wednesday. She’d given herself enough time off for the snatch of her victim. A conference was easy to mark as an alibi, especially if she traveled during the day and visited said conference to make sure others saw her. That also gave me—if I found her today—four days of alone time with her.

Perfect.

Twelve fucking locations. That’s how many places I’d gone in and out of with no fucking luck. The sun was setting, all was quiet, and I was nowhere near close to finding my target. Alana was better than I thought she was, and I had to say it gave me a hard-on for her in ways I couldn’t describe. Most of the locations I looked over weren’t too far from the water, an easy dump site if I ever saw one. Things were nearly inaccessible. I had to leave my vehicle and go on foot to get to some locations. It made for an exhausting search and an even more irritating, tiring time of climbing in and out of boarded-over windows. She had to have somewhere easier to get into. No way she’d do all of this climbing and shuffling around with an unconscious man.

I was missing something, and I needed to find it quickly. I wasn’t going to take time away from our reunion looking for a needle in a haystack. So instead of driving around some more, I looked back over my list of property photos.

“Come on, Alana, show me where you are.” There were a few closer to the water, but they might be too accessible. Hmm.

“Noel? I’ve got to find Mommy. She’s all out here by herself, having naughty time with some douche, and we want her back, don’t we? Where could she be?”

Noel didn’t answer. He never answered. Never got a chance to. I wasn’t mad at Alana for that, and I know he wasn’t either. The shit he would have gone through if he’d come into that house would have turned both our stomachs. But for both of us, so he wasn’t forgotten, so he knew he was loved, I carried him with me. I remembered him and his momma. The woman who should have been mine because she belonged to me. And I would always remember him. The small child who’d died so she and I could both gain the strength to fight back.

“Help me find her, buddy,” I whispered.

I stared at the pictures hard, looking for a clue, something that would stand out. There it was. In a subtle, crazy fucking way. Noel had helped me because I remembered Dad, remembered the home I was taken from. The warehouse that was about half a block from the water, deep into the center of several buildings, was shaped like dad’s old house. A vacant unit to one side looked like the barn, and an open field, that may have been a parking lot at one time, looked like where I’d buried so many toys—and that asshole.

“That’s where you are.”

It took less time to get back to my ride and jump in than it had taken to get to the information I needed. Another half hour of slow and careful maneuvering to get in deeper. Under a slim overpass was a good place to hide the car, especially once it was covered with the tarp from the trunk. I snuck around the right side of the barn-shaped building and looked for a quiet entrance to Alana’s killing place. I climbed up a side chute until I reached a small opening I had to force my shoulders through.

“Fuck,” I grunted as wood caught my shoulder, but I made it. The interior was pitch-black until my eyes adjusted. Then I was heading across the tall walkway overhead and looking for a way down to the ground level. I found the nondescript car Alana drove and knew I was in the right place. She was able to drive it right in.

Good girl.

Then I heard it—the sweet sound of screams.

I wasn’t as worried about staying quiet anymore. Alana’s mark was hurting, and I needed to see this. See her in action. Following that sweet music, I headed down further until the screams were loud enough to echo in the halls. The cold darkness swallowed me, wrapped me in those sounds, and I stopped. My chest tightened, and I gasped. My shoulder hit the wall before I knew it, and I was falling to the ground.

Fuck, not now. Not fucking now.

But I couldn’t stop it. The memories from the darkness were breaking up and out of my soul. Washing over the fucking worthless little boy. A murderer’s son who deserved every fucking thing he got.

“How many girls did you help your dad kill?” Dennis hollered at me. His red face was pressed against mine, his big body crowding me into the wall behind me. I wanted to rip his head off. Swallow his blood. Twist his arm until it popped off and then beat him with it. Anything to get him away from me.

“I didn’t kill nobody!”

“Liar. I know you did. That girl said you cut your dad into pieces. Hacked him all up with a saw and then ate pieces of him.”

They came up with new versions of how my father died at my hands every time someone told the story. It was the worse form of the telephone game, and there was nothing I could do about it.

“I didn’t. And you better leave me the fuck alone before I hurt you.”

“What, you going to kill me too?”

“Or me?”

I groaned, curling against the wall. Eddison was here, and he always was worse than Dennis. Brothers who were taken out of a drunk father’s home and put into the system for beating the shit out of him and not stopping. They were supposed to keep records confidential here, but everyone learned each other’s secrets eventually. The brothers could read me, sense what I was, but I couldn’t be that guy. Not without Alana. Not without my fucked-up little compass who gave direction to my life.

I was a fucking monster, but Alana was the darkness from which I was born.

“If I have to,” I said with bravado, but I knew it was a lie. And so did they. Losing her had taken something out of me.

“Hurry up, before Ms. Becket comes back and messes things up,” Dennis said.

“He won’t make a sound, will you, Jacob?”

I whimpered, but it didn’t matter. Eddison swung, and I could have sworn my jaw was hanging. Pain blossomed into the joint where my jaw was hinged, and it locked. My cry was warped, like a wounded animal. Dennis joined the fray, punching me in the stomach. Air rushed out of me, and then I was coughing, fighting to hold down the bile.

I didn’t beg though. I wouldn’t fucking beg. Instead, I fought back. Knowing it wasn’t going to do anything. Knowing I wasn’t going to win. But I couldn’t die here. Not like this. Not until I found Alana. So I bit and scratched, punched until my knuckles ached, and kicked until they gripped my ankles and flipped me over. I fought until they pounded my head against the ground.

And then I couldn’t’ fight anymore because darkness swallowed me.

It wasn’t until the morning I found I was bleeding from the inside too. Just like with Dad.

I forced myself to my feet, pushed through. I hated dark fucking hallways. They made me ill. It was why I left those molesters’ bodies in those nasty fucking alleys and hallways when I could. To wipe away my fear. To break those memories. But they were still here, haunting me. And I wanted to punish Alana all the more for bringing them back. This time, when I stepped forward, I was more than ready to punish her than to celebrate our coming back together.

But maybe, for ruined souls like us, that was the same thing.

When I reached a heavy door, I opened it as quietly as I could before slipping through a crack. Inside, I let my eyes adjust again to the darker area. Alana had her back to me, dressed in nothing but black tights and a black bra. Her victim was strapped to a medical table and bleeding all over the place. I could see why when I spied the barbed whip dripping bright-red blood in her hand. Fear and despair coated the air thickly, and it tasted good.

In those moments, the anxiety and terror faded until there was nothing left but black lust, anger, and the need for retribution crawling through my veins. I smiled— Cheshire smile that made my cheeks ache. I wondered if her victim could see me, would I look like some dark, avenging demon feasting on his pain? Then, as Alana raised her hand, making the whip swish wetly, I didn’t give a shit about him. All I cared about was her.

“I’m your sin eater, Jonathan. The absolver of your black soul. Give unto me your secrets, and I’ll set you free. Confess.”

She swung wide and hard. The tail of the whip snapped, cracking through the air, and sliced through Jonathan’s chest. He screamed long and loud, his voice cracking at the end.

“Please! I have nothing else to tell you.”

“Oh, but you do. Tell me about the girl you were going to take. What were you going to do to her? How long did you watch her? Did you fantasize what it would be like to hold her hostage and destroy her? Did you think this one would be the one you’d finally kill?”

“No. No, I swear.”

“Yes, you did, Jonathan. You want to know why? Because I already know exactly how I am going to kill you. The smell of it. The taste. How my heart will pound. How my mind will clear. And how I’ll come so hard when I’m done I’ll be reborn. Confess, Jonathan. From one monster to a worse one.”

Fuck, this girl was my soulmate. Demented, despicable, and violent.