Chapter 22
Bram
“That’s quite the smile you have on your face. Where have you been?”
The smell of chicken filled the air and I came to lean against the island as I gazed at Everleigh in her black and white polka dot apron. She almost looked normal. Like a real wife would. These must have been the memories West held to. Little moments like this … I could see how it would take ahold of him so strongly. She was all he knew in his insanity. She was all he held to. And now with me, I was living his life. I was seeing what he had. With the luxury that was draped around us, it was almost like we weren’t within the walls of an evil fortress, but in some suburban home. Like she and I were actually together as something more than what we were now—nothing. The trick the entire situation played on my mind only left me more determined to win not only her over but myself. It had me glancing down to take in our smiles. When I laid the picture out before me, she stepped in, looking between it and me.
“What is that?”
“The photo that’s going in our wedding announcement.”
A shade of color dropped from her face and any daydream I may have teased was shattered as she stepped back, shaking her head. “Wedding?”
“I see I’m going to have my work cut out for me if I ever decide to take that route with you.”
“No route … I already told you. I don’t want there to be an us.”
My mouth tightened through the blazing heat of rejection and I let my eyes drop back to the fake picture I had made. “You sure know how to cut a man bone-deep. This picture was for West. All of his hallucinations are either of you skinning him or the two of you talking about a family. Lately, he’s held to the love he has for you. I thought I’d have some fun.”
“I see.”
Everleigh turned back to the stove while I spun the picture around in a slow circle. Maybe if West wouldn’t have scarred her mind and took my emotions that could have been us. I would have done my best not hurt her. Whether I would have succeeded was an entirely different story. I could still feel Master Kunken’s blood all over my hands as I sawed off his other thigh. I’d taken my time over the last few weeks, having Dr. Cortez watch over him as he weakened. I couldn’t deny what I knew was growing within me. Even now with Everleigh distancing herself, the urge to tackle her down and take her body was stronger than ever.
The more she didn’t want me, the more she lured my beast. Slight flickers of feelings were coming back, mixing with this new part of me. Each day, every hour … kissing her at City Center. A tinge of my love for her was slowly returning. But it was a new love. A suspicious, angry love. Every time I got close, she’d pull away. My protectiveness had me following her around like an obsessive puppy. Love me so I can love you. Love me. Love me. Bring me back.
But my pleas fell on deaf ears. I was so confused. So conflicted with the depression and deadness that still ruled me. This couldn’t be my life. I wasn’t this evil bastard searching for the newest way to spill blood. But in reality, I’d always been him. Everleigh had just managed to win over the tiniest bit of good I got from my mother. How had I lost that when I was brought back? What sort of sick joke had been played on me? I was truly trapped in an angry shell. Praying for the old me to return wasn’t working. And dammit, I kept trying. If there was a God, he had forsaken me. Or maybe he just knew better than to answer the prayers of an already damned man.
“Smells good. I think you have chicken down to an art. Do you eat anything else?”
Everleigh’s shoulders stiffened and I internally cursed myself for letting my frustrations leak into my words. I was supposed to be trying, but I was constantly putting my foot in my mouth. My tone never matched the thoughts in my mind.
Slowly, she turned to me. The sadness that was present didn’t leave me feeling guilty like it should have. All I felt was defensive.
“Chicken is what I like. It’s what I’ve always eaten. It’s routine and I like keeping it that way.”
“Still the slave in your safe little bubble.”
“I’m not a slave! I can eat chicken without being a fucking slave.”
My eyebrow rose. I looked between her and the pair of tongs she had pointed at me. Her hand was shaking through her outburst and that wildness was back. “Are you going to do something with those? Poke them at me, maybe?”
“You have to leave. You have to go right … now,” she said, thrusting them in my direction.
“Because I upset you over chicken?”
“Yes. No. Because you called me a slave and I won’t tolerate it. Now, get out.”
“This is the Whitlock wing. I live here, too. You can’t kick me out.”
Everleigh jerked at the apron, half tearing it off as she stomped to the door. “If you won’t leave, I will.”
I rose, putting myself in her path. “This is ridiculous. You’re not going anywhere and neither am I. I’m sorry. I should haven’t called you a slave. I only meant that you’re not helping yourself by sliding back into old habits. Routine will not make the past disappear. It won’t stop the visions or voices. You can find other ways to deal without eating chicken, broccoli, and carrots for every meal but breakfast.”
“Move, Bram.”
My head shook and Everleigh let out a deep sound. She knew she wasn’t getting around me and I knew she’d bend if I pushed hard enough. She was still a slave, regardless of status. It was her nature to submit to her Master—me. Now, if I could only convince her of that.
“Finish your chicken before I turn it off and drag you to the bedroom.”
Surprise. Terror. Yes, she hadn’t been expecting that. Then again, why would she? Aside from a stolen kiss here and there, she tried to avoid me like the plague. I was tired of it. Had I not fought through my surgeries to make it back to her? Had I not battled death so that Everleigh and I could be together? I had, then. It was only later that this numbness took over. What the hell was I doing letting her tell me what to do? If she was sick, I could help her. If I wanted her over West, shouldn’t I erase him? Emotion. I needed it like I need her.
“Fuck the room. I’ll take you right here.”
Everleigh spun to run away, but I had her around the waist before she could make it a foot away. Her upper body rocked back and forth and I carried her to the stove, turning it off. She didn’t stop moving when I roughly made her face me.
“Look at you. You’re so afraid of me just like you were when I initially came to you. Are we back to square one, slave? And yes. I said, slave. We both know who you are to me.” My fingers dug into her lower back and I saw her battle. “Shh.” I pressed my lips to hers, keeping the movement of my tongue slow and light against hers. The hesitancy was there, but not the passion I wanted from her. We’d been here before. The first day I took her to my room to fuck her, she was terrified. Time had built her up. Would it now? Could I even pretend to be that Bram?
Gradually, I let my hand slide to the middle of her back. The location away from her ass made her soften. Internally, I felt the weight of my unease lift. Her tongue glided along mine, even teasing the tip for the briefest moment before she seemed to catch herself and go rigid all over again. The setback had me spinning her to the island and placing her to sit on top. Again, I started over, keeping my hands tightly to her hips as our tongues began to explore each other’s. I could tell Everleigh wanted to kiss me. She wasn’t telling me to stop. But her heart wasn’t in it either.
Fuck. How did I undo all West had done? How did I force him out of her head and heart so I could get her to give me some sort of chance? Was it even possible after what Eleven had told her? Just the thought of him spilling secrets from my past had me growling. Darkness soared and at her body jumping, I suddenly wondered if I should even give her a choice.
“Bram, wait.”
“I’ve waited too long. Let go of your fear. Push back all the pain and give yourself to me. See if it changes how you feel.”
“I don’t want to change,” she said, jerking her head back. “I want to be left alone.”
“You want me.” I pulled her hips closer so she rested against my hard cock. “I know you want this. I’m not him, Everleigh.”
“You are. You’re all alike. I’ve seen the real you. I know what you’re capable of.”
“And even then you wanted me. You fought what I thought was best and you won. You had me. You still have me. Why throw that away?”
Her head shook as her palms settled on my chest to keep me further away.
“I was stupid. I didn’t know.”
“And you think you know now? You have no idea how things will be between us if you give us a chance. Even I don’t know, but I’m willing to take the risk. I’m trusting that you won’t kill me in my sleep.”
“Then you’re a fool, Bram Whitlock. Haven’t you learned that you can’t trust anyone? You are not safe here. None of us are. One wrong move and we’re dead. I don’t know about you, but I’m not putting my life on the line for anyone ever again.”
“You won’t have to. That’s why you have me.” I ripped Everleigh’s shirt over her head, meeting her lips with bruising force. Her gasp triggered something, making my pulse race. “I should be dead,” I mumbled against her lips. “You were the only thing that kept me hanging on. If you think I’m going to let West win by taking away the only thing I felt was worth living for, then you are the fool, slave. Your love for me is in there somewhere. I don’t care what I have to do to set it free, I’m taking back what’s mine.”
My arm wrapped around her shoulders while the other tightened around her waist. I kept her immobile while I buried my face in her neck. Harder her wedged hands pushed, but I wasn’t letting her win. I couldn’t. The beast inside of me wanted out. He wanted to possess what he knew was his. He’d tasted her blood. Had it covering his hands and face. She had given him that. She couldn’t take it back. Slave twenty-four-six-ninety was mine, body and soul. Status didn’t matter. I gave it to her! The horrors of this place didn’t alter that. I owned this fucking hell! I was Bram Whitlock. Nothing stood in my way. Not even death, itself.
“I said I want you to stop.”
My teeth nipped at her skin and I sucked hard before coming up to meet her eyes. I knew she saw my intensity. There was no stopping this. Leisurely, my head shook and a whimper left her lips.
“No,” she breathed. “I ... can’t.”
“You can and you will. We’re done letting you decide. I’m going to take a step back and you’re going to walk into the bedroom and remove the rest of your clothes. If you run, you’ll wish you hadn’t. If you speak, I will light your ass on fire. If you fight this like you’ve been doing, I’ll be forced to remind you who you truly are. I want my slave back and you have her held hostage inside of you. For your sake, you better reach in deep and set her free.”