Chapter 24
West
“Shh. It’s okay. Go to daddy.”
A smile burst onto my face as I looked between Everleigh and our son. Joy blossomed around me and I quickly wiped the tears as I reached out, taking the small infant into my arms. He was so beautiful. So tiny. I’d never given becoming a father much thought, but as I stared into the bright blue eyes that peered up at me, my heart swelled so big that I almost couldn’t see him through the happy tears that blinded me.
“My son. Our son.” I laughed, glancing up at her as I continued to take in his full lips that were sucking against his tiny fist. Jesus, this couldn’t be real, but it was. Everleigh was before me, staring at me with more love than I had ever seen on her face. And me, I could feel the weight of the infant I held. His little sounds echoed around me and his head shook back and forth while he began to fuss.
“Isn’t he beautiful, husband? He’s so observant. He watches everything.”
“Yes,” I whispered, still staring down as Everleigh’s fingers brushed his light brown hair forward. There was barely any there, but I knew he’d have my color. “He’s g-going to be so smart. I can tell. He k-knows things, already. Look at how he’s staring at me. He knows I’m his f-father. Don’t you?” I said, laughing and slightly bouncing him in a smooth rhythm while he let out a louder noise.
The door opened and my features turned hard at seeing Bram walk in. His eyebrows rose with amusement, but I ignored him, turning to the side to guard my son. I brought my attention back to Everleigh, shaking my head in disgust.
“Don’t pay attention to him, husband. He’s just jealous. Here, let me take baby West. It’s time for his feeding, anyway.”
“But I d-don’t want you to leave. Ignore Bram. He doesn’t matter. He’s no one.”
“Who you talking to, West?”
I refused to answer. I drew my son in closer to my chest and continued the soothing motions as he began to cry. “It’s okay. You don’t h-have to listen to that bad man, either. Daddy will protect you. I’ll n-never let anyone hurt you or your mother.”
“Ah. Family visit? I hope I’m not interrupting.”
My eyes cut over my shoulder. “You know you are. Why are you h-here?”
“I thought we’d compare family photos.” He lifted his hand while his smile grew. Everleigh stepped in closer, taking baby West from my arms. There was slight fear in her eyes as she stared at him and backed away. I didn’t like it. Back and forth, I took them in, feeling something bubble within me that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“Why are you afraid? Did he do s-something to you?” She and my son flickered and I blinked through the confusion. My hand lifted, but I couldn’t speak as they dimmed even more.
“Are you finished?”
Bram got closer and I felt my lips peel back in anger as she disappeared for good. “What have you done to my w-wife? She’s afraid of you. She’s ….” My words slowed as the feelings within me grew. Thoughts? Memories? Yes, I was suddenly in another room. And she was … Bram …” An aggravated yell left me and the bottom of my fist slammed into the side of my head as I was back before him. What was it? It was all so warped in my mind. Everleigh, she had been talking to me. She … we… family. And then Bram. He came up from behind her from nowhere. He … kissed her. Yes! He’d kissed my wife and she started to fight him. She didn’t want him. She wanted me. The look she had given me before she walked away, it had been full of terror for the situation she was being put in.
A yell tore from my lips and I lunged forward only to be stopped by pressure wrapped around my waist. Chains? Did I hear chains? What the fuck was going on? My head shook, but I didn’t break the eye contact Bram and I held.
“My son. Isn’t he beautiful?” He lifted a picture to block out our connection and my head kept shaking at what I was faced with. Everleigh, my wife, holding a child with pale skin and dark hair. I couldn’t see the infant’s face with how she cradled it. I couldn’t even really see hers, but I knew it was her.
“T-that’s not real.”
Bram frowned, turning the picture around to look at it before facing it back to me. “That’s not a very nice thing to say, West. I was supportive of your family time. Can you not show a little respect for mine? That’s my wife and child you’re dismissing.”
“My wife. Not y-yours.”
“Actually, she is my wife. She’s your ex-wife, remember? I had your marriage annulled.”
I jerked against the restraints, trying to get closer to him. What was he talking about, annulled? It wasn’t possible. Somehow, I knew that. I wouldn’t have let someone so easily take away the only thing I wanted. I wasn’t that stupid.
My lids closed and I slowed my breathing. If I focused hard enough, I could return. All it took was wanting to. Really wanting to. It wasn’t easy. Giving into the hallucinations gave me comfort. I knew they weren’t real when they started. It was untangling myself from the web it wove around me that was the hard part.
“How much l-longer do you plan to keep me in here?
The cold was returning. Fuck, I was so goddamn cold. My body was constantly trembling. And my jaw. It ached from the nonstop chattering. Couldn’t they give me some sort of gown? A blanket? Something?
“You don’t want that yet. Once you leave this room, color and light will no longer exist. Once that happens, the torture won’t involve your mind. You’ll get my blade and anything else I can get my hands on. Do you really want to go there so soon? What’s better, old friend? White … or pitch black?
Rage built while my gaze swept over his face. “Everleigh won’t let that happen. She’s going to get me out of here. I’ll never see the black torture you so b-badly want. My wife loves me.”
Bram laughed, drawing in his hand as he pulled out his wallet. When he slid the picture inside and placed it back in his suit’s inside pocket, he shrugged.
“If that’s what you want to believe, go ahead. I’m telling you right now, though, Everleigh is never going to save you. She’s back with me, where she belongs. Master and slave. Husband and wife. She wakes up every morning in our warm, soft bed. Oh, sorry. In your warm, soft bed. And then I fuck her while she screams out how much she’s missed me. How much she loves me. And then we spend the rest of the day playing and ogling over our son. Our son,” Bram yelled. “But you, you’ll never have that. You’ll never have a real wife or child. You’ll never be loved. The only thing you’re going to be by the end of this is a rotting, mutilated corpse. I’m not even going to give your body the courtesy of turning to ashes in my incinerator.”
Should his words have hurt me? I felt nothing. Or maybe I felt everything so powerfully that my damaged body and brain couldn’t comprehend how to respond to such a hurtful blow.
“You w-would have done the same thing. You would have killed me to have her. To have this. Do what you m-must.”
I turned, heading deeper into the room. I suddenly had no need to fight back. My thoughts went to Everleigh. She was the only thing keeping me from shutting down completely. Her and my son. She needed me. I’d seen her worried expression when she had left me at that door. Anger may have ruled her up until that moment, but she didn’t leave that way.
“I never wanted Whitlock. Or, I didn’t before you had that knife stabbed into my chest. But now I do. It’s odd how things change us. I used to see this place as my curse. I still do, but in an entirely different way. I don’t mind the position of Main Master so much anymore. Why should I? I get the fortress; I get the girl … I get to play how I’ve always wanted. Maybe it was facing death so many times that changed my point of view. Maybe it’s because I really don’t feel anything at all anymore. Who’s to say? I’m not so sure I care either way.” He paused in my peripheral, continuing on.
I rolled my eyes, trying to push away the need to disappear again. The white was influencing my actions. The need to scream came from nowhere. I was back to wanting to spin and twist on the floor from the claustrophobia that said I’d never be free. My body twitched, but I somehow managed to sit instead of reacting like I wanted.
“Tell me, West. When you were beating and raping my wife, did you feel any remorse? Do you now?”
Did I? How was I supposed to answer that? I was barely able to comprehend the questions.
“I love my w-wife.”
“That’s not what I asked you. Did you feel remorse?”
“You didn’t want to do that. Not really. Tell him”
I glanced up at Everleigh, somehow already knowing she was here.
“No remorse.” My tone was cold as I went back to Bram. “N-not then. I loved hearing her s-scream. I loved making her bleed.”
Bram’s jaw tightened.
“And now? Would you feel bad if you raped her?”
My eyebrows drew in sadly, only for a laugh to explode from my mouth a moment later. “You think I would r-rape my wife, again? She’d kill me. I love her too much to have to k-kill her first. We will work through it. I’m going to make it right this time.”
Silence had me drifting away from reality and focusing on the woman who was smiling and walking toward me.
“I should go. Master Kunken and I have a meeting.”
I blinked through the buzz of his voice, jerking my head in his direction when the name registered.
“Master K-Kunken? He’s alive?”
“What’s left of him is.” At my confusion, Bram only smiled bigger. “His arms and legs are gone, old friend. Today he gets to eat what’s left of his last thigh. Nothing like making a cannibal eat himself to death. There’re moments between his vomiting that he actually seems to enjoy the way he tastes. Or maybe it’s the starvation that has him devouring himself. I’d ask him, but he ate part of his tongue last week and I don’t have the patience to try to understand him. I’m just lucky he can still use it to swallow. Seems the bastard can’t go two days without a meal.”