Chapter 17
Bridger
“Whatever you want to try, I’m all in.”
Maggie’s words continue to echo in my head as I lead her by the hand back to my bedroom. She pauses at the room she shares with Belle, peeking in on her. A soft, luminous smile graces those perfect lips when she sees her daughter, and I wish I could capture that look. It speaks everything about motherhood that I don’t understand but find deeply touching. I’m extremely happy Maggie has reason to smile like that.
The minute we cross the threshold of my room, I turn to Maggie and kiss her. It’s as wondrous and volatile as the other times my mouth has been on her—fueled by desire and sheer lust for her taste. She moans, reciprocates, but before we can get going, I pull away and start to remove her clothes. It takes me no time at all to get her naked, and then I swiftly dispose of mine.
Maggie unabashedly looks at my body, eyes roaming all over. Her eyes hesitate over the flock of blackbirds flying up from my rib cage before turning in toward the center of my chest. Her eyes linger on the one near the center that explodes in a puff of black feathers, and then her eyes drag downward, following the inked feathers that float down the front of my abdomen.
Her eyes travel even further down. She stares with no shame at my cock, which has been in a state of semi readiness since I walked in the door and laid eyes on her, and then went fully hard when I kissed her moments ago.
“I want your mouth on it,” I say in a low rumble of need, and Maggie’s eyes snap back up to mine.
“You just want a blow job?” she asks incredulously, as if she was expecting me to ask for so much more. Yet, she has no idea.
I step up to her, slide my fingers around the back of her neck, and pull her in closer to me. I lean down and place my lips near her ear. “No, Maggie. I want your mouth. Your tongue. Your throat. I want all of that on my cock, and I want your eyes on me as you suck it. And if there’s a God who’s willing to give me this, I want to come on that pretty tongue and watch you swallow me down.”
Maggie’s eyes round in shock, and she whispers, “Oh, God.”
She actually sways a bit, and I tighten my grip on her neck. “Wanna give it a try?”
“More than anything,” she whispers, and she punctuates that desire by licking her lips. The head of my dick starts leaking at the promise in those words.
I kiss her again, very briefly, just to get a measure of control before turning to the bed. After I grab a pillow, I turn back to her and drop it on the floor. I flash a grin. “Don’t want your knees to get sore.”
She manages to smile, but I can tell she’s not falling prey to my little bit of levity to lighten the situation. It’s just as well. My attempt at humor was nothing more than a way to help distract me from the curl of fear deep in my belly. There have been times in my life where I’ve been scared… mostly when I was younger. But most things in adulthood don’t cause me much pause.
Except right now.
I’m terrified this could disastrously spell the end of us. It’s one thing for me to hold myself back from Maggie because I’m too scared I’ll be disgusted by coming in her mouth. It’s an entirely different prospect that I might have the figurative balls to shoot down her throat, but if I’m disgusted by it, I won’t look at her the same way again. If that happens, I’m quite positive it’s all over for us.
“I’m scared,” Maggie admits to me in a whisper. “What if I’m not good enough… to you know… make you want to…”
I reach out and jerk her softly to my body, my need to assuage her fears more powerful than trying to talk me out of my own. I wrap my arms around her and press a kiss to the top of her head. It’s the single most intimate thing I’ve ever done with a woman, and I’m bolstered by the fact that it doesn’t feel strange, just right.
After a moment, I release her to peer down at her again. “Mags… anything you do to me will be the best I’ve ever had because it’s you. If there’s any failure tonight, it’s on me… not on you, okay?”
She nods with quiet acceptance, but then says with a bashful smile, “It’s a lot of pressure.”
I grin at her, for real this time. “There’s a lot of pressure in my dick right now. I bet you could alleviate it if you’d just get down on your knees.”
Her smile widens and I see mischief in her eyes for a moment before they sober a bit. “No matter what, Bridger. Promise me that if this isn’t something you can do, you just pull out and do what you need to do. It doesn’t change how I’ll feel about you.”
I brush my cheek against her face, and I lie to her. “I promise.”
But if this doesn’t work, I’m done. I can’t continue to torture myself by wanting something desperately that I can’t have, and I can’t continue to hurt Maggie by not being able to give her what she so needs and deserves.
Maggie leans into me, placing her hands on my chest. My pecs jump from the contact and a bolt of lust courses through me when she places her lips right over my heart and gives me a soft kiss. Then she slides that mouth down my stomach, nibbling and licking at my skin as her fingers travel right along down.
When she gets to my pelvis, she veers around my dick, which is bobbing in front of her and angled to the ceiling, kissing my hipbones while her fingers press into my thigh muscles. She slips a hand in between my legs and fondles my balls, and fuck yeah… that feels damn good.
My arms stay loose at my sides but my fingers curl inward, mainly to prevent myself from grabbing onto her head and demanding she give my cock some attention. I stare down at her as she works slowly with her mouth, tasting and exploring my body. Her hair shimmers, streaks of chocolate, honey, and caramel, and my fingers also itch just to slide into that softness I know smells like the pear shampoo and conditioner I bought her.
Maggie pulls her lips away and focuses in on my cock, which hovers in front of her face. Her delicate hand circles the base. A rumble of lust ripples through me as she sticks her tongue out and laps at the clear liquid seeping from the end, wiggling it against the slit. Electric pleasure shoots through my dick and travels up my spine from that tiny touch, and a deep groan slips out of my mouth.
Maggie looks up at me, those green eyes shining with desire, and whispers, “See… you’re already on my tongue now, and I have to tell you… you taste amazing, Mr. Payne.”
Pure joy radiates through me as I realize she’s right. My cum—pre as it may be—has touched her tongue, and I liked it. No, I loved it—that soft feeling like heaven against me. My hands reach up and grasp the sides of her head. In a voice hoarse with lust and tinged with a bit of fear that this will still result in failure, I barrel forward and say, “Let’s get more of that mouth on me then.”
“My pleasure,” she says, her voice raspy with sex and promise.
Then her mouth opens, and she pulls my cock into her soft warmth.
My legs almost buckle at the first contact… the pure, unadulterated feeling of skin-on-skin contact with Maggie. She pulls me straight back until my head bumps against the back of her throat. She opens up, makes a swallowing motion, and takes me back even further.
“Goddamn.” I groan at the sensation of her throat accepting my cock. She moans, sending vibrations of pleasure through me, and my fingers tighten against her head unintentionally. I have to force them to relax and fight against the overwhelming need to hold her tight and plunge further down her throat.
Maggie pulls back, her tongue massaging the underside of my dick as it slides free. She sucks greedily on the tip, pulling more pre-cum into her mouth, and I’m astounded that the thought I’m passing my liquid into her body is turning me on rather than off. She spends moments working the head of my dick, licking furiously against the sensitive underside and prodding my slit with the tip of her tongue while her hand squeezes and strokes the base. My balls tingle and rage with the need for more.
I need more from her now.
I need it with a blazing intensity that is threatening to unravel me.
Maggie’s eyes peek up and I’m not sure what’s written on my face, but I think it might convey the fact I’m on the very edge of losing control because she immediately pulls her mouth off me and asks, ‘What do you need, Bridger?”
God, what do I need?
I need everything from you, I want to say, but no way I’m letting her that far in.
My voice practically croaks. “I want to fuck your face, Mags. You can clearly take it deep, and I want to possess that throat. Give me the control.”
So what if that sounded like begging?
Maggie smiles at me, her eyes shimmering with lust, relief, and adventure.
No triumph though. I don’t see a flicker of that anywhere, and that makes me even hornier for her.
“Take it,” Maggie whispers before opening her mouth and sucking me down deep.
I give a bark of relief, my hands holding her head steady, and I start to move my hips.
Slowly at first, to gauge her level of flexibility, going a little deeper with each stroke. Maggie hums against me, her eyes looking up and telling me to go harder.
Deeper.
Faster.
Her throat opens up, takes the head of my cock on one stroke, then takes another inch on the second. Maggie sets an easy routine, sucking in air through her nose in perfect synchronicity to my thrusts. I am fucking that beautiful face in perfect harmony with her body’s acceptance of my cock.
Soft tongue grazing the underside.
Tightness as I push into her throat.
Her hand squeezing and twisting my shaft as I pull back.
The complete acceptance of me into her while letting me dictate how this is being done.
Best. Fucking. Blow Job. Of. My. Life.
I move faster, my body giving all signs that it’s ready for release. My lower back muscles get tense, my balls tighten, and the blood in my veins races with every furious pump of my heart. I actually go a little dizzy with the need to come, and yet the desire to prolong this exquisite face fuck of beautiful, sweet Maggie wars within me.
She hums again in appreciation, taking my cock deeper than ever, and puts her hands to my ass to pull me even deeper than that.
“Christ,” I mutter as my hips pick up the pace, not wanting to choke her but also desperately needing to get to the finish line. It’s in sight, and I know I can do this.
I look down at Maggie, find her eyes on me as I told her to put them, and I see encouragement and tender care in that gaze. It’s the only thing I see, and it gives me renewed desire to coat her mouth with my semen.
“Going to come, Maggie,” I groan as I hold her head and pump in and out of her mouth.
Her fingers flex into the muscles of my ass, and I feel the sting of her nails. My balls tighten further, aching with the need to give it all up to this woman who is starting to worm her way deeper into my life.
Into my heart.
I falter over that thought, actually causing a stumble in my measured strokes, and I go a little too deep. Maggie makes a slight gagging sound and I immediately pull back, grazing my thumbs over her cheeks in apology. I slow my thrusts a bit, making sure she’s able to breathe. Her eyes are warm as she stares at me… my veined cock pushing in and out past those swollen lips.
But is that…?
Begging I see in her eyes?
Is she begging me to give it up to her?
Confusion courses through me as I try to forget that she used to beg me to give it up to her. She really didn’t need to, knowing my body would ultimately betray me, but it always made me feel that it was my choice to give her what she wanted. With that came extreme humiliation after the last shudder left my body and I plummeted from the sexual high.
I stumble again, pull almost all the way out of her mouth, and Maggie senses my turmoil. She takes the base of my cock again, squeezing it gently. She pulls her mouth free, licks her lips, and whispers, “Stay with me, Bridger. This is just me, and this is all about you.”
I stare down at her, my cock aching with need. I could easily jack off my conclusion and bathe her face, or I could barrel past this fear and take mine and Maggie’s fates in my hands.
She looks at me patiently, with no recrimination if I don’t choose her, and that makes my final decision. She’s giving me the control, and that makes all the difference to me.
“Open back up,” I order her and she does so quickly, latching that gorgeous mouth back onto my dick.
I set back up a quick pace, and she falls in with me, sucking and licking and letting that throat work tight magic on me. Maggie’s eyes shimmer with reassurance, and they never give up their hold on mine.
We stare at each other while I pump into her mouth and I willingly give myself permission to orgasm while lodged deep inside of her. Pure passion erupts and I pull back slightly so the head of my cock sits against her tongue as I start to come. I don’t want it in her throat. I want her to taste it. I want her mouth awash with my semen, and I want the knowledge I’m giving it up freely with no fears holding back a single, precious drop of my lust.
I spend myself in Maggie’s mouth, and it is utterly fucking divine.
“Mags,” I groan as my entire body quakes with release and her hands come back to my ass where she lovingly presses against my muscles, indicating for me to give her more.
I push further into her. She swallows down the head of my cock and the mouthful of cum.
She swallows my fucking soul.
Everything goes still around us and I focus in on her face, my dick still stuffed inside of her. Her eyes are aglow with respect for me. You did it, Bridger. And I loved every drop you gave me.
I pull free from her warm hold, tingles still rippling through me, and haul her up from the floor. My mouth crashes on to her and I swipe my tongue inside, seeing if she left any part of me behind. I get a vague taste of my cum, and she swipes her tongue against mine as if she’s claiming every last bit of it back.
I feel sated and energized all at once, knowing something monumental has just happened to me. I’ve spent years fighting against invisible chains that have held me back, learning to live an unrealized existence. But tonight… Maggie’s busted those chains and I eagerly wonder what else I can willingly give to her without destroying myself at the same time.
Bending down, I lift Maggie into my arms and carry her to the bed. I lay her down and climb onto her, holding my weight so as not to crush her body.
She puts a hand to my cheek. “That was beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful,” I tell her honestly. I’ve never said that to a woman with such brutal truthfulness before.
“I hope we can do that again,” she says with a shy smile, and I realize a travesty is occurring.
Sweet, beautiful Maggie is left wanting.
“I have something else I need to do first,” I tell her with a promising glint in my eyes.
“What’s that?”
I push down her body and spread her legs. My only answer is when I put my mouth on her pussy and dive in. Maggie moans and her hands go to my hair, and for the first time, I don’t seem to mind. Maybe I’m too sated by that amazing orgasm or I’m on a metaphorical victory lap since I just battled and persevered over some pretty fucked-up demons. Regardless, I let Maggie’s fingers grip into my hair and I let her push my face down into her sweetness, while I lick and suck her like a starved man.
“M-o-o-m-m-m-m-m-y,” Belle cries from her room down the hall.
Ordinarily, nothing would distract me once I was on a mission for some great sex, and I’ve fucked my way through all sorts of attention breakers. But the minute I hear Belle’s voice, I rear off Maggie and scramble off the bed. She does the same, deftly grabbing my t-shirt from the floor and throwing it on as she runs out the door. I manage to hop into my jeans and have them zipped and buttoned by the time I make it to Maggie and Belle’s room.
I find Maggie on the bed with Belle cradled in her arms, her little face pushed into Maggie’s neck. The bedside lamp casts them in a warm glow, and my chest aches at seeing Mags comforting her daughter.
She turns her head and gives me a smile. “Nightmare.”
Part of me feels like I’m intruding, and yet part of me feels the need to offer assistance. Belle’s been in my house less than two days and I’ve already fallen for the little brat, my first real experience with a kid. She’s terribly funny for a two-year-old and smart as hell, and she could easily provide me ceaseless hours of entertainment. I never knew I could be so easily captivated by a kid.
I push past any uneasiness and walk into the room, setting my ass on the edge of the bed near Maggie’s bare legs. Luckily, my t-shirt swallows her and she’s adequately covered. I place a palm on the mattress on the other side of her hip and lean in to look at Belle’s face.
She stares at me with luminous eyes the same shade of green as her mom’s.
“You okay, kiddo?” I ask as I touch the tip of my finger to her nose.
She nods up and down at me, but she doesn’t give up the clinging hold she has on her mom.
My gaze slides to Maggie, who peers at me over the top of Belle’s head. Her eyes hold a look of amused frustration for our interruption. I answer her by moving my hand and grazing my thumb down the side of her hip, letting her know it’s okay. I’ll make it up to her.
“Need anything?” I ask her as I stand from the bed.
She shakes her head at me before laying her cheek on top of Belle’s head and closing her eyes in blissful happiness that she can provide comfort to her daughter.
“Okay,” I say, hating to leave Maggie’s side but also sensing this is a moment that she and Belle should have alone. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Bridger,” she says softly.
I go back to my room and shed my jeans before crawling into the bed. The taste of Maggie is still on my lips and I’d give anything for her to come back in here after Belle falls asleep. I wait, wondering if she’ll want me to finish what I started, and then I wait some more. After about half an hour, I creep down the hallway, the soft glow of light spilling out from the room. When I turn the corner, I see Maggie on her back, sound asleep, with Belle curled into her side. My cock is sadly dejected even as my heart warms.
Stepping into the room, I pull the covers over both of them before turning out the light and returning to my room. I go to sleep with the memories of me coming inside of Maggie’s mouth.