FIFTEEN
DEVIX DODGED THE swipe, side-stepping with a rough growl, before crouching low, anticipating the next blow from Rixavox.
Rixavox’s frustration was evident. His brother had been his training partner endlessly since Devix had returned from the plains of the Ravrax’tor with his luxiva. They’d started early that morning and Devix already knew he wouldn’t be returning to their dwelling until the moon was high overhead.
His muscles ached and protested with every block and hit, but he gritted his teeth and carried on, just as he used to when he’d been a warrior. Physical weakness had been beaten out of him from the time he was a youth during warrior training and had no place within him now.
Out of his peripheral vision, Devix saw Vaxa’an enter the otherwise empty training room to watch their session, standing near the doors with his arms crossed tight over his chest.
“Focus,” Rixavox hissed, drawing him close enough to prove that he could, to prove that Devix had let down his guard, before pushing him away.
Devix was distracted, that much was obvious. The fight he’d had with Cara the previous night was still fresh in his mind. The Instinct within him was torn between mourning for their mate or beating its fists at his chest in punishment for hurting her. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her face, the raw pain when she’d realized what he’d kept from her, the desperation, and the tears that ran over her cheeks…and not the happy ones he’d come to like.
A harsh bellow tore from his throat, but when he sensed Rixavox’s hit coming, he let his brother do it. He needed to feel the pain and felt it, he did. The punch Rixavox landed across his temple made stars burst in his vision and the impact vibrated down his spine.
“Enough,” Rixavox panted, pushing him away. “You are letting me connect these hits.”
“I deserve them,” was all Devix replied.
“Stop,” Rixavox hissed, coming up to him. Blood dripped down his brother’s cheek, from a claw-slash he’d taken, but right then, Devix knew he probably looked worse. “This will not help you or your luxiva, Devix! You do not have much time left before the trial and you are wasting it. I do not care if you and your female are upset. I care about you winning against Pidixa and living to see your offspring born.”
Devix squeezed his eyes shut, knowing that his brother was right. Of course his brother was right. “I know,” he murmured, hanging his head, trying to get his mind on straight.
Nothing else mattered if he lost to Pidixa. Because his losing meant his death, it meant that his luxiva would be without her mate, and their offspring without a sire. The pressure, the need to win was unfathomable.
“Let it drive you,” Rixavox rasped. “Let that fear drive you and hone your skills, which I know you still have. Pidixa does not have a mate. He does not have a child. He has his reputation and his status as a warrior. You have everything to lose. That is why you will win. Tev?”
“Give me a moment,” Devix said, jerking his head in a nod.
Rixavox let go of him and Devix walked to far corner of the room and back, pacing, trying to reclaim the mindset he’d had yesterday, before the fight with his female.
Warrior training had taught him how to compartmentalize. He needed that skill more than ever. But it was made considerably harder since the blood bond. He felt his female’s hurt in his mind, even then. It made him want to roar, made him want to go to her, on his hands and knees if necessary, and beg for her forgiveness, for her understanding.
Nothing had felt worse than sleeping without her next to him the previous night, knowing she was strides away, but that she didn’t want him near her. It went against every instinct that Devix possessed and it had taken everything in him to obey her wishes and give her time alone.
But he knew that his female wouldn’t want him to be distracted. He knew that he had hurt her deeply when he’d omitted the truth of the warrior trial from her, but she would never want him to suffer during training for it.
He needed to get his head on straight…for his female. He needed to.
For a brief moment, he leaned his forehead against the steel of the far wall, feeling the chill of it soothe him. He calmed his breathing, inhaling, exhaling, to a steady rhythm, one of the first exercises young warriors were taught. He’d done it countless times and it had always helped.
When he felt more focused than he’d felt all span, he lifted his forehead and faced his brother. Vaxa’an was still standing at the entrance of the training room, still watching. Rixavox had his arms crossed over his chest, expression grim and focused on Devix.
“Tev,” Devix rasped. “Let us begin again.”
Rixavox jerked his head in a nod. A moment later, they took up defensive poses, eyes carefully watching, tracking, judging who would make the first move. Devix was barefoot and he felt the cool facev floor below him, felt it ground him even further.
One more inhale.
And then his brother launched into an attack. They had no weapons, but Luxirians hardly needed weapons to execute a lethal attack. They were quick, powerful, and their claws could shred flesh and bone.
Devix dodged, twisting his body to the left before his brother could make contact. A moment later, he perceived a change in the air, felt the wind rush next to him from the movement of his brother’s quick switch in direction, but Devix rolled, once again taking the defensive.
He realized quickly that he needed to be the attacker. Rixavox’s skill had evolved since Devix had last spared with him before his exile, but his own training had returned to him, as if it had never left. His muscles remembered the maneuverings and poses that the war generals had imprinted upon his mind.
And because he’d fought in the underground fighting rings in Petrika, his fighting style had become rougher, dirtier.
He could use that to his advantage.
When Rixavox lunged forward again, Devix quickly side-stepped, before whipping his body around in a full circle. Taking advantage of the surprise maneuver, he caught his brother’s side, raking his claws down his abdomen, before kicking him squarely in the chest. That kick launched Rixavox a few feet before he thudded to the ground.
Devix gave him time to push off the blood-spattered training floor.
“Good,” Rixavox grunted, eyes gleaming. “Now we can truly begin.”
And begin, they did.
* * *
Later that night, when darkness had already spread over Luxiria, Devix paused outside the door of the dwelling they were sharing. Just like he had in the training room, he leaned his forehead against the metal and calmed his breaths.
Though he’d just come off the most intense training session of his life span, he felt like he was going into a different kind of battle, a more important one. He hadn’t seen his luxiva since the previous night, hadn’t seen her that morning before he’d left for the command center.
It had been the longest time they’d been apart since he’d taken her from Petrika.
And Devix felt that distance like a physical pain. Through their bond, he knew that Cara felt it too and it was enough to give him hope that they would overcome this.
First, Devix had much groveling to do.
When he pushed open the front door, he found her waiting in the central hub. The fire was low, but it still cast golden light over his female’s features and Devix’s eyes devoured her like he was starved.
She, too, was looking at him. Her eyes roamed over his body, at the bloodied cuts that had already begun to heal, at the dark bruises that marred his flesh, which would fade by the morning. Luxirians always healed quickly. They needed to heal quickly.
Devix shut the door behind him and walked towards her. He was sweaty and dirty and bloody from his training session, but when he knelt in front of her and very slowly, without saying a word, leaned his head in her lap…she immediately ran her fingertips over his head and over his shoulders.
Devix squeezed his eyes closed, feeling her soft touch, knowing that he didn’t deserve it, but soaking in every moment of it. His horns were curled around his skull and he shivered when he felt her trace the base of them.
Opening up the fellixix that ran between them, he let her see all of him, just as they’d done during their ravraxia. He let her feel his sorrow, his guilt, his determination, his fear. But mostly, he let her feel his love, the strong, powerful emotion that he felt for her, an emotion that went beyond anything he’d ever thought existed.
Cara’s breath hitched, her fingers stilling on the back of his skull.
“Devix,” she whispered.
“Forgive me, luxiva,” he rasped quietly, his lips brushing the fabric of the flowing, thin dress she was wearing, a dress he’d purchased for her on Rozun. Soon, it would be too tight around her belly, but he would buy her new ones. “I cannot handle this distance between us. I need your forgiveness.”
“You think I like it, Devix?” she asked quietly. “I hate it too. I hate fighting with you. I hate sleeping without you.”
Devix pulled up from her lap so he could look into her eyes, but remained kneeling. Her lips tightened when she saw the cuts on his face, the gash just above his eye. She inhaled a shuddering breath, but then met his eyes.
“I should have told you about the warrior trial,” he told her, his voice steady, “from the first moment.”
“Yes, you should have,” she murmured.
“I knew that I needed to,” he said. “There is no excuse for what I did.”
Cara blew out a breath, her eyes dropping to her lap before she took his hand. Devix’s heart leaped at the contact and his fingers tightened around hers.
“I know why you didn’t tell me,” she murmured. “I know it was right before our ravraxia and that you didn’t want to make me worry.”
Devix swallowed, hesitantly reaching out to touch a strand of her golden hair that had escaped from behind her ear.
“But I liked our honesty,” she murmured, her eyes falling shut briefly when she felt his touch. “I liked that even though the truth is hard, we were always honest with each other.”
“Can we start anew, luxiva?” he requested. “This warrior trial was the only instance I was ever dishonest with you, the only instance I ever knowingly kept something from you. Can you…can you see past this so we can begin again?”
“We have no choice but to get past this, Devix,” she whispered. “This doesn’t change the way I feel about you. Nothing could change that.” She let out a shuddering breath. “And if you say you have to participate in this trial…then I have to trust that you’ll win. Not only for you, but for us. For our future together.”
The heaviest weight lifted off his shoulders and he leaned forward to rest his forehead on his luxiva’s. Their breaths were heavy between them and his female’s eyes shimmered with tears. But Devix knew, right then, that they would move on from this.
“I forgive you, Dev,” she whispered, “but please…don’t keep anything from me again.”
His voice was roughened and husky as he murmured, “I vow to you I never will.”
“Okay,” she whispered, meeting his eyes. “Okay.”
Then she grasped the back of his neck, pulling him forward until his lips met her own. Devix closed his eyes, feeling his female’s kiss, savoring it, missing it even before it was over.
“Don’t kiss me like that,” she murmured, pulling away, her eyes pleading with him. A tear tracked down her face. “Don’t kiss me like it’s our last one, Dev.”
“Luxiva,” he rasped, pulling her forward gently until he had her wrapped in his arms. His lips brushed the shell of her ear when he murmured, “It will never be our last.”
Cara’s arms tightened around his body, as if she was afraid to let him go. “Then win, Dev.”
He pulled back to look at her and she met his eyes. They were still full of tears, but her gaze held a strength, a determination that hadn’t been there before.
“Kick Pidixa’s ass, okay?” she murmured. “And come back to me.” She placed his hands on her swelling stomach. “Come back to us.”
A sensation that he’d never felt blanketed over him.
“I will, luxiva.”