Chapter 18
Alex

He’d breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Faith would be gone for the afternoon. She’d be with Mama, which did give him pause, but then again Mama was full of traditional southern manners. He doubted Mama’d give in to gossip even if Faith pushed. Besides, it wasn’t like Mama knew him anymore anyway.

Alex had thought that a move to the cabin would be far enough to avoid Faith. He’d been wrong. Ever since that time between night and morning when she’d shown up unexpectedly, it was like he couldn’t avoid her.

She was there making coffee in the morning, even when he thought he’d planned it well enough that she’d still be asleep. Every dinner was awkward as hell. He thought she’d be staring at him, but when he’d focus his eyes on her, she would be caught up in a conversation with Mama or Caleb.

Faith drove him crazy. Plain and simple.

It had been a week since their incident, and he’d thought that giving in once would satisfy his craving for her. But it just made him want her more. Every time he saw her, whether it was a glimpse of her legs as she went up the stairs or the way she pushed her hair out of her face in the morning light, he was reminded of that time together.

In a second, he could go from putting honey in his tea to remembering how she sucked her lip as he tasted her. Those long fingers that helped Gwen prepare lunch he imagined once again on his cock.

The past week had been even worse. Her face always held a perfectly blank expression. It made him mad, nearly enraged him. I might not know her perfectly, but I know her well enough to realize she always has an expression. Puzzled, engaged, laughing, about to explain or debate—she always did something with her face. Until now.

“Y’all all right?” Mama had asked the two of them when she found them in silence one morning. Alex stood watch over the Keurig while Faith scraped at her toast.

“Yes, ma’am,” Alex had said automatically.

“Just fine, Mama,” Faith had said.

He didn’t look at her face, but he could hear the warmth in it. Why doesn’t she talk to me like that anymore?

Alex pulled on some clean clothes for another dinner at the inn where Faith would pretend he didn’t exist. “Shit,” he said. There was a tear in his shirt and a button was missing. How the hell did that happen? There was no way Mama would let “such riffraff” at her formal dining table.

By the time he’d changed and raced across the lawn to the inn, everybody was seated and waiting for him. Gwen arched one of those perfectly shaped brows at him while she put down the last pot but didn’t say anything.

“Thought you’d plumb forgot,” Mama said. She whipped the cloth napkin open and settled it on her lap—a cue for everyone else to follow suit.

The only seat was between Faith and Mama. “Sorry, ma’am,” he mumbled to her. Faith didn’t even look up. She busied herself with complimenting Gwen and Mama on the spread.

“Care to lead us in grace?” Mama asked Alex pointedly.

He sucked in his breath through his teeth and took Mama’s hand. Faith didn’t readily offer hers up, so he grabbed it harshly and held it on his thigh. Even as he went through the familiar prayer, eyes closed, he was well aware of the heat of her body against his. Her hand is just so soft. He was tempted to squeeze it, do something to let her know he was onto her, but by the time the amens rang through the dining room, he’d lost his nerve.

“That was lovely, thank you,” Mama said. He knew it had been rushed, but he’d take any compliment Mama would dole out at this point.

“Grits at dinner, my favorite,” Caleb said.

Gwen circled behind him and swatted his hand as he reached too far for the dish. “Manners,” she said. “Y’all act like you’s raised by wolves and not your fine mama.”

“Thank you, Gwen,” Mama said.

“So you were saying?” Faith asked Caleb. “Earlier, about the scuba? I’ve always wanted to try that.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t, coming from Southern California and all,” Caleb said. Finally, Matt passed him the grits topped with golden cheese, and he piled his plate high.

“My cousins were really into it for a little bit, but at the time I was studying for the LSAT all the time.” Faith sunk her fork into the pork shoulder, which fell off the bone like butter. “Amazing, Gwen. Mama,” she said.

“Well, if you’re interested, I can get you started,” Caleb said. He dug into the grits with gusto. “I’m technically able to certify new divers, but it’s been a while.”

“Oh, I don’t know . . .”

“Nonsense, baby. Caleb’s a good teacher. Great diver. He’d be happy to take you out.”

Was it just Alex’s imagination, or did Mama have a certain tone with the “take you out?” Is she trying to push Faith and Caleb together? Mad as hell, he tucked into his own plate full of just pork and the steamed broccoli Gwen made on the side just for him. Everyone else happily ladled the buttered, creamy blend of vegetables onto their plates.

“It does sound fun,” Faith said with a smile. “But I don’t know. I have a lot of work to do on the property still. I swear, it’s like Craig thinks I’m part of his crew now. Well,” she paused. “Part of his crew that doesn’t even know how to hold a hammer right.”

“Well, the offer’s open,” Caleb said. “Anytime. If you think the island’s pretty as is, you won’t believe what’s underneath the water.”

Alex stole a look at her from the corner of his eye. Really, maybe Faith was the same as always. Polite and cordial, even when his brothers flirted with her. Maybe she wasn’t so mad after all.

Like most dinners at Mama’s table, there were long stretches of silence. “Sure sign of a good supper,” Mama and Gwen always said. They were right. Even through his discomfort and worry about Faith, Alex couldn’t help but lose himself in the rich flavors of Gwen’s pork.

When their plates had been thoroughly cleaned, Gwen came in with her staple cinnamon peach pie. “I couldn’t,” Faith said as she cradled her flat belly.

“You can and you will,” Gwen admonished. “After all, you helped make it.”

“You did, Faith?” Mama asked. “Well, now we’ve all got to try a piece.”

Gwen knew not to push Alex for a slice of carbs and sugar. He was the only one who ever got away with turning down dessert. But when Gwen sidled by this time, he touched her arm lightly. “Just a little piece,” he said.

Gwen didn’t change her expression or even meet his gaze. But she did cut the smallest of pieces and slide it onto a dessert plate for him.

Alex didn’t know if it was because it’d been so long since he’d had dessert, or if the pie really was that good, but every bite tasted like heaven. Every mouthful had a piece of Faith in it.

“Let me help you wash up,” Faith said when they finished. Surprisingly, Mama didn’t argue. The two women picked up the dishes and went into the kitchen. Lee and Matt followed with their own plates smeared with sweet peach curd.

“Guess we should help,” Caleb said uncertainly. Alex shrugged. The two of them picked up the remaining unused flatware and the vessels scraped clean of the comfort food.

In the kitchen, Alex watched how Faith interacted with Mama—with all of them, actually. She was a natural fit, like she’d always been there.

“A shark?” she asked Caleb. “Don’t tell me anymore! If you thought that would entice me to go scuba diving with you, you’re dead wrong.”

“It was a little shark!” he said. “I swear, ma’am. If you went with me, you’d be totally safe.”

“A shark is still a shark, doesn’t matter the size!”

“What is that? Some kind of Dr. Seuss logic?” Lee asked.

Faith let out a laugh. Alex smiled with his back to the rest of them. He didn’t realize how much he’d missed that laugh until that moment.

“Caleb,” Mama said. “You best be telling Faith the good things about scuba if you want her to go.”

“All right, all right,” he said. “Let’s see. There are fish, colors like you’ve never seen before. Bright neon, and big, too.”

“I like fish,” Faith conceded. “But I don’t know if I like them enough to risk my life. I mean, there are aquariums.”

“You don’t get it,” Caleb said with a shake of his head. “It’s different. Down there. And the white sand on the beach? It’s like another world down there.”

“How so?” Faith asked as she helped Mama load the dishwasher.

“Quiet,” Caleb said. Something in his voice made everyone slow down and listen. “It’s just quiet, you know? Like you’ve never experienced before. But then it’s not. The sound of the ocean, your own breath, it’s like another world.”

“It sounds like magic,” Faith said.

“It kinda is, ma’am,” Caleb said. “It’s an escape, I guess? Like this secret place where it’s just you and all these bright creatures.”

“I can see why you go,” Faith said quietly.

Alex kind of could, too.

After they’d done all they could, and Gwen shooed them out of the kitchen, he saw Faith pick up her steaming cup of nightly tea and head to the porch. He hung around the inn for a bit, uncertain if he was up to walking past her in silence toward his cabin.

Usually, Mama would join Faith for their evening tea on the porch. But this time, she made a show of being tired. “I think I’m just Gonna head to bed. Y’all all right?” she asked the boys. “You need anything?”

“Nah, Mama,” Caleb said. “You go on. You work too hard.”

“Really?” Mama said. “Glad to know somebody finally noticed.”

Caleb rolled his eyes at Alex. “Think I’ll hit the shower before bed,” he said. “Don’t know if I’ll be up for it with that five in the morning wake-up call.”

“Five?” Matt asked.

“Fishin’,” Caleb said and pretended to cast and reel in a line. “Me and Lee both.”

“Ah,” Matt said. He’d already curled up into his favorite leather chair in the sitting room with a thick book.

Soon enough, Alex was left alone on the first floor with just the occasional flick of the page from Matt in the corner.

“Headin’ out,” he told Matt. He saw Matt’s hand raise in farewell.

As soon as he stepped onto the porch, he saw Faith with bare feet perched on the rail. She slouched back into the swing and swayed herself slowly. Faith looked at him with big open eyes but didn’t say a thing. Instead, she took a long sip of her tea.

“Hey,” he said. His voice sounded strange. Hey? That’s what I have to say to her.

“Hey,” she repeated.

“You know,” he began. Alex searched for words as he approached her. He thought if he stood over her, he’d have some leverage, but he might as well have been on his knees. “About the other day . . . women, they don’t understand what they want.” Instantly, he knew the words came out wrong, but he couldn’t suck them back in.

“No,” she said and put down the mug. “You don’t get to turn this around on me.”

“I’m not—”

“I’m not interested in continuing this conversation,” she said. Faith removed her feet from the rail. “I’ll be real with you. I think you’re hot. Okay? I mean, I’m not going to deny that,” she said with a laugh.

Alex felt red creep up his neck. She thinks I’m hot?

“But I’m not here to get a shit show of emotions dumped on me. Especially when they have nothing to do with me.”

Alex clamped his mouth shut. She was right, of course, but how could he admit that to her? “I don’t know what—”

“Yeah, you don’t know,” she said. “That’s the problem. But I’ll tell you one thing, I’m not the one who has problems understanding what I want.”

“I never asked for any of this.” That wasn’t what he’d wanted to come out, had expected to come out, but there it was.

Faith looked down at her lap and nodded. Her expression was set in stone. “I’m not even going to validate that with a response,” she said. “But all of this? Your attitude and everything? That’s you. Projecting onto me. And I’m not going to allow it.”

He was stunned into silence. Faith stood up and walked right past him into the house. The scent of her perfume lingered around him long after the door clicked shut.

A woman had never spoken to him like that before. He’d grown used to Rebecca’s manipulative crying fits and yelling, but not this.

Is Faith right? Is he really dragging all of his crap with Rebecca around with him now?