Josephine’s gone.

Max watched her walk through security and out of his sight with Stella and West. For twenty minutes, they waited, half-hoping she’d change her mind. But when she didn’t come waltzing out of security and they saw that her flight had closed for check-in, they knew they had seen her for the last time for a while. Stella had him promise her that he wouldn’t give up on Josie and that he would wait for her. He knew then that his life would now be entwined with Stella’s. They shared a common concern, and that was Josie. He received a text from Noel asking him to go to PJ’s tonight for a last get-together before he and Clara left for Boston. Stella had invited him to go out to dinner with her and West, but he politely refused, saying that his best friend needed him right now.

That had been an hour and a half ago.

It was now seven p.m., and Max was entering PJ O’Brien’s for the first time in what felt like forever. He scanned the pub, finding his best friends and their significant others at a table towards the back. Many of the usuals hollered their hellos as he walked past. Upon reaching their table, he let out a sigh as he sat in the free seat next to Julian.

“Maxie,” Julian said, sounding relieved as he set his palm on his shoulder. “How are you?”

“Good,” he said as he took in Julian’s grin.

“That’s good.” Julian raised his arm up in the air. “Mitch, can we get a pint for Max?”

“I’ll send Tiff down when she’s free,” Max heard the bartender yell out.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his leather jacket pocket, Max took it out and noticed that Josie was calling him. He didn’t bother to excuse himself as he got up from his chair and made a dash for the exit. When he was out of the pub, he answered her call in time and held it to her ear.

“Josephine?”

She was silent.

Then he heard some people in the background.

“Hey, sorry, I was just moving so that this passenger could use the wall socket to charge her laptop,” she explained.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he walked away from the pub and to the steel barrier, taking in the glittering Yarra River. The sun was starting to set, and it was one of his favourite times to look at the river.

She let out a sigh. “I just left you, Max. I’m not okay with that. I’m sitting here at my gate, wondering why I’m doing this.”

His chest tightened as he wrapped his hand around the steel railing. “For you,” he breathed out. “You’re doing this for you. You want to meet Heidi and Angelika, remember?”

“I do,” she agreed in a small voice. “But what if it doesn’t go well?”

He heard the fear in her voice. He needed to reassure her. It was the only way to get her on that plane. “It will. But if they’re not who you thought they’d be or they treat you wrong in any way, you come straight home to me, okay?”

“Okay.” Josie’s voice cracked, and he knew she was crying. “You’re the first person I called. I walked around the duty-free shop buying stupid Australian souvenirs until I couldn’t take it anymore. Then I went to my gate so I could call you. Max, I just dropped everything in my life to go to Germany. My mother’s estate hasn’t been finalised. Her lawyer will be calling me about her will. I just left Ally without a baker and waitress. I dropped my law degree as if it meant nothing. I left you.” She sobbed. “Oh, my God, I left you.”

“Breathe,” he pleaded. “God, Josephine, breathe.”

He heard her suck in shaky breaths until she said, “I just ran away, Max.”

“Josephine.”

“I just ran away,” she softly cried.

“I’ll handle your mother’s lawyer. After all, I am your boyfriend and a lawyer. I’m at PJ’s with everyone about to have one last night of drinks before Noel and Clara—”

“I didn’t even say goodbye to Clara. God, I’m so selfish.”

“You’re not. She’ll understand. I’ll tell the girls that you said goodbye.”

“Thank you. And can you tell them thank you for coming to the funeral yesterday? I really appreciate them being there,” Josie said.

Max nodded even though she couldn’t see him. “I’ll tell them. Josephine, there’s not much I can do about law school. I can have my dad contact Jason. He said that he’s your tutor.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll have to formally apply to defer my degree.”

His heart broke for her. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

“I didn’t show up for any of my exams, Max. That’s an automatic fail. Who knows if I even have a spot at the university. Right now, law is the last thing on my mind—”

“Ladies and gentlemen, Qantas flight fourteen to Dubai is now ready for boarding. We welcome families with small children to board the flight first. We would also like to welcome our Qantas Frequent Flyer silver and platinum members, as well as our business and first-class passengers to board at their earliest convenience,” the flight attendant said, interrupting them.

Josie let out a bothered sigh. “I’m sorry, Max. I have to go.”

“Still meeting your father in Dubai?”

Because of the last-minute flight, Josie and her father had to take separate flights to Dubai and would take the same flight to London, and then to Berlin together.

“I am. We’re in Dubai overnight. I think I land at about nine or ten a.m. Is that too early to call you?”

A smile spread across his lips. He had her phone call to look forward to. A countdown of fourteen hours would soon commence. “No. Doesn’t matter the time, Josephine.”

“Okay. Don’t forget to send me that email after my flight takes off from Dubai,” she reminded.

Max let out a soft chuckle. “I won’t forget. I’ll talk to you in fourteen hours. I love you, Josephine.”

“I love you, too, Maxwell.”

Maxwell.

It sounded so right coming from her lips.

Max was glad she hung up first. He struggled with even putting his phone down.

Fourteen hours.

He could make it fourteen hours.

It gave him enough time to write her an email.

And he decided that for at least one of those hours, he would stand by the Yarra River and watch the shimmering water before he walked back into PJ’s without her.

“Hey, Max,” Ally said when he reached his friends’ table, getting his attention.

He smiled at her, and he saw the frown on her face. He knew his smile wasn’t genuine. Josie had boarded her flight to Germany. His girlfriend of a day had left him without any confirmation of when she’d return. He trusted her completely, but it didn’t make their separation any easier.

Max sat back down in the seat he had previously occupied, still surprised that Ally was the only one at the table. “Where is everyone?”

She glanced over at the bar for a second and then swung her gaze back at him. “Noel and Clara are running late from visiting Noel’s parents. Rob, Stevie, and Julian are at the bar.”

He nodded. “So you’ve been sitting here all alone?”

Allison Moors smiled. He had once found her attractive. He still did. But her smile, as it always had, did nothing to him. “I’ve been waiting for you. I told them I needed to answer emails and—”

“Max, you’re back,” Julian cheered as he sat back down in the seat next to Max’s.

Julian’s brother, Rob, set a glass of lemonade in front of his wife, and then kissed her cheek as he, too, sat down. Stevie joined them seconds later.

“Sorry, I just had to take Josephine’s call outside. It’s loud in here,” he somewhat lied. It wasn’t a complete lie.

Ally reached out and set her hand on his. “Hey, how is Josie? She was amazing yesterday. Can you tell her she can come back to work when she’s ready? There’s no rush. Her job’s safe. Taylor’s happy to cover her.”

Max went rigid.

His heart pounded violently in his chest as the anticipation of the truth increased his anxiety.

“You all right, Max?” Rob asked.

He nodded his head. In time, when Josie did return to him, he would be all right. For now, he was barely functioning—still in shock that she had left.

“Max, is Josie okay?” The concern in Ally’s voice had him shaking his head. “What? We should go visit—”

“You can’t,” he said, interrupting her.

“Why not?” he heard Clara ask behind him, indicating that she had arrived.

He glanced over his shoulder to find his best friend, Noel, and his wife behind him.

“Max, why can’t we see her?” Clara asked, her light brown eyes flashed with fear.

“Take a seat,” he instructed as he straightened his back and took a deep breath, watching as Clara and Noel quickly sat at the table.

Clara was Josie’s friend. They had worked at the Little Bakery on Little Collins Street together. Clara was the reason Josie had come into his life. She had partnered them up at the wedding. And to this day, re-meeting Josephine Faulkner had truly been the best day of his life.

That bridge.

That moment.

Her question of whether he was okay would stay with him.

“Well?” Stevie asked, sounding just as anxious as before.

“She’s gone.”

“WHAT?” everyone besides Max at the table blurted out.

“What do you mean, ‘she’s gone’?” Julian asked.

He let out a heavy sigh as he glanced down at his phone on the table. He half-expected to see her name flash across his screen, but it didn’t, and it couldn’t. She was already on her flight. Already in the air, heading to her first layover in Dubai.

“Her father asked her to go to Berlin with him. I took her to the airport. Her flight’s already taken off,” he explained.

He glanced over to find Clara’s face consumed with shock. “She just buried her mother, and her father asked her to go to Germany with him? Are you serious? And you just let her?”

“He’s her only family, Clara. She had to go. She made a promise to her mother—”

“And Stella agreed to this?” Clara shouted in disbelief.

“Baby,” Noel said in a gentle voice next to her.

Clara shook her head. “I’ve known Josie for years, Noel. I can’t believe she’d go.”

“She’s grieving,” her husband said.

“Oh, God,” she whispered. “I can’t believe I just got so angry with her. She’s hated her father for years. I thought … I guess she wants a relationship with him since he’s …” Clara sighed. “I’m so sorry, Max.”

“Me, too,” he breathed.

“So what are you going to do?” Ally asked next to him.

What am I going to do?

“I don’t know,” he confessed. “I just know that I have to be here for her when she comes back, and that I have to be on the other side of her phone calls when she needs me. I get that you’re angry, Clara. I’m angry, too. But knowing everything that I do about her, she needs this. And when she messages you, any of you, please just support her and tell her you understand. She felt horrible that she didn’t get to say goodbye. And she also wanted me to let you all know that she appreciated you all coming to the funeral yesterday.”

He scanned his group of friends and saw the smiles they offered him.

It was Julian who said, “You love her, we love her. We were there to support you, too, Max.”

He waited.

At nine a.m., he sat on his bed and waited.

At ten a.m., he sat at his dining table and looked out the windows at the lovely morning view he had of the city. A view Josephine loved. It had been well over sixteen hours since he last saw her, and he was already struggling. He had to find a way to go visit her in Berlin. If she didn’t come home by December, he would go to Germany to see her. He couldn’t imagine the Christmas holidays without her. Stella had mentioned to him that Josie’s birthday was December sixteenth. That was what he’d focus his time on—finding a way to see her.

At fifteen past ten, his phone vibrated, and he quickly swiped it off the glass table, answering her call the moment he saw that it was her.

“Josephine?”

There was silence.

It was too quiet.

“Hey,” Josie finally said. “Sorry I didn’t call earlier. I was walking by this area that has like seats but they’re like sunbeds. People were sleeping, so I didn’t want my voice to travel until I got to the hotel. How are you?”

She sounded tired.

“I’m good now you’ve called. What time is it in Dubai?”

“Just after three a.m.,” she answered. “I’m almost at my room. Can you believe it costs like five hundred dollars a night for a decent room? It’s insane.”

He chuckled. “God, it’s so good to hear your voice. How was your flight? And did you find your dad?”

“You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice, too. The flight attendant saw my distress because I couldn’t stop crying during take-off. She gave me bottles of vodka to knock me out. Oh, yeah, I found him. He already checked us into separate rooms.”

Max got out of his chair and walked back into his bedroom. He climbed back into bed and rested his back against the headboard, stretching out his legs.

“Are you tired?” he asked.

“Not really. I slept for almost all of the flight. Oh, hang on a second, Max. I just got to my hotel room,” she said and mumbled something under her breath. Then he heard a beep. “Okay, sorry, I’m back.”

“Can we FaceTime?”

“Umm … I think they have Wi-Fi. Let me just check … They do. Can I call you back after I shower?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, I’ll be—”

“Josephine,” he breathed.

“Yes, Max?”

“I miss you so much.”

She let out a sigh. “I miss you, too. Let me shower and …”

His chest heaved at the way her voice softened. “And?”

“… not put clothes on until after.”

“Fuck,” he groaned. “God, I miss you. Go shower.”

She let out a low laugh. “First, have you written me that email?”

“It’s in my draft box.” He had spent all night writing it after he’d gotten home from PJ’s. It was nice being with his best friends, but they couldn’t take away his pain. They couldn’t stop him from missing Josephine.

“My flight to London is only like seven hours. So that’s what I’ll be looking forward to. Okay, I’m hanging up now. I’ll see you in a few. I love you, Maxwell.”

Josephine would like to FaceTime

 

Max pressed the accept button and waited while the call connected. It had been twenty minutes since their last call. A call which he presumed cost her a small fortune. He’d have to start calling her to avoid the costs. He’d be happy to pay thousands if it meant he could hear her voice when she needed him. But he knew there were more affordable ways for them. He knew of apps. Hell, even Facebook had a call function on its Messenger app. But reception would play a key in whether they’d be using apps or phone calls when she landed in Berlin.

Suddenly, Josephine’s beautiful face consumed his screen. Her hair was still wet, but she had that glow about her. She was remarkably stunning. The light above her brightened her blue eyes, and the smile on her face had his heart leaping for her.

“Hey,” she said with a yawn. “Sorry.”

He smiled. “You’re tired,” he pointed out.

She hummed as she pulled back the white bathrobe to expose a shoulder. “I’m not,” she insisted as Max glanced down to see the swell of her breast. She was a tease. A terrible, beautiful tease. Then she pushed the robe from her other shoulder and slowly tilted the camera so he could see her naked breasts. Her pink nipples were taut and made his need intensify. He knew what those perfect nipples felt like against his fingers, tongue, and his bare chest when he made love to her. It was torture to know and be unable to do anything with that knowledge.

“Maxwell,” she whispered, camera still pointed at her chest.

His palm drifted south and cupped his hard erection. God, he was so hard for her. Hard knowing she was able to turn him on so much even though she was so far away.

Then he heard her yawn once again, and he let out a soft sigh. His hand fell away from his hard-on as he said, “Josephine, I need to see your face, love.”

His screen filled with her face once again, and he saw the tiredness in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re tired.”

“I’m not,” she argued.

This time, he chuckled. FaceTime sex would have to wait until she got sorted in Berlin and got over jet lag. “You need to sleep before your next flight.”

Sighing, she righted her robe back onto her shoulders. “You’re right. I’ll talk to you when I arrive in London?”

He nodded. “If you have time. If not, call me when you get to Berlin.”

“It won’t be too late?” The concern on her face was adorable.

“No. Never for you. Get some sleep, Josephine. I love you.”

She smiled. Soft and lazy. But he knew she was still pretending. Still grieving over the death of her mother.

“I love you, too,” she said, then ended the call.

Max set his phone beside him and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. He knew he would need another shower to get rid of his erection, but right now, his mind thought of ways he could bring her home. Or at the very least, visit her in Berlin.

 

 

FaceTime sex was not the best idea Josie had ever had.

Her emotions were everywhere.

She had found herself in the bathroom stall crying hysterically after she saw a passenger with a French flag patch on his bag—remembering the trip she would never take with her mother. Once she stopped crying, she somehow pulled herself together to find her father and pretend to be excited to be away from Melbourne and Max. But just when she thought she couldn’t pretend, excitement riddled her body.

She was broken.

It was the only way to describe how she felt.

She felt too guilty for being happy with Max.

She felt too horrible for being so angry with her mother for leaving her.

And then she spoke to Max, and suddenly, she was okay again. He made her better. He made her understand her pain. Then she had this insatiable need for him. But tiredness thankfully won when Max ended any chances of them having phone sex. It was a first for Josie. She had never done it before. She wasn’t even sure she was being sexy. She would thank the heavens Max ended it.

Before her flight to London, she had breakfast with her father. They chatted about current affairs and what Heidi and Angelika were like. He told her of all his daughters’ sweet traits. He spoke of how he hoped she would stay until the new year. To experience the first flakes of snow. And to celebrate her twenty-third birthday with him. Josie only smiled and shovelled her scrambled eggs into her mouth. The bed she had slept on was worth the amount of money her father had paid. She had slept wonderfully, and it was exactly what she needed.

It had taken just over eight hours to land in London.

Their plane was put into a holding pattern for so long, Josie fell asleep. Her father had shaken her lightly to tell her they made it to England. During the flight, Josie tried to watch a few movies, but she opted instead to reach for her phone and swipe through her pictures. She adjusted her seat to lie flat and ensured the partition was up for privacy. Staring at the pictures she had of her and her mother, she silently cried. That grief she had tried to run away from had finally caught up with her. And it felt right. She was supposed to be sad. She had just buried her mother forty-eight hours ago. Happiness was the last thing she deserved when her signature had ended her mother’s life.

Stop, Josephine.

You shouldn’t blame yourself.

She flinched.

It wasn’t her thoughts.

No.

She heard Max’s sweet voice tell her.

“Are you all right?” her father asked as they stepped off the train to the international connections terminal.

She nodded. “Yeah, just overslept on that flight, I think,” she lied.

She missed her mother.

She missed her boyfriend.

She missed her best friend.

She even missed her best friend’s boyfriend.

With each hour that passed, she was even further away from them.

“Okay. The gate is this way.”

Josie nodded and followed her father, dragging her carry-on suitcase behind her. They followed the arrows and signs, avoiding other passengers as they finally made it to their British Airways gate for their flight to Berlin. Josie spotted empty seats at the gate and headed towards them, this time her father following. When she sat down, she let out a sigh of relief.

Her father chuckled as he shoved his passport and boarding pass into his briefcase. She asked him why he had dressed so formally for their flight, and he had said that although his trip to Australia wasn’t an official trip, he still had to represent his title and country professionally.

“I’m going to grab a cup of coffee. Did you want anything?”

Josie fished her phone from her handbag on top of her case. She mulled his question over before she said, “A hot chocolate and any newspaper they have, please,” as she switched on her phone.

“Sure. I won’t be too long,” he promised and then turned and began to walk towards the stores they had passed on the way to the gate.

She felt her phone vibrate as it turned on, and she typed in her code to unlock the screen. Since she would only be in London for a few hours, she turned on her Wi-Fi and connected to the airport’s free Wi-Fi. Once it was up and running, she felt her phone vibrate with the notifications she had missed during her flight. She ignored them all and opened her email app. To her surprise, she had several from her university in her student inbox. Curious, she pressed on the email sent from Jason, her legal ethics and practice tutor.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: ** IMPORTANT ** JOSIE, READ THIS!

 

Josie,

I spoke to Gordon the other day, and he informed me of the sad news of your mother’s funeral. When Gordon told me, I was shocked. I had no idea that your mother had cancer for so long. So it also came as a surprise on Monday when your other tutors approached me and asked if I had any idea.

I am so sorry, Josie.

I wish you had come to me.

I now understand your recent behavioural changes. You had a lot more pressure than assignments and upcoming exams.

I also wanted to apologise for thrusting that appointment with Gordon Sheridan on you like that. He informed me that you were uncomfortable because of your romantic ties to his son. Gordon tells me he offered you a position, but you turned him down. I commend you on your professionalism despite being put in such a position. I really do believe in your talents, Josie, and if Gordon Sheridan Lawyers isn’t for you someday, that is all right. Because I know you will make a remarkable lawyer that any firm would want.

Sometimes, life gives us the unexpected and the worst.

Sometimes, we feel like the world is against us and no one is on our side.

But I’m on your side, Josie.

Your tutors and I have always been on your side.

We spoke to the student board and the chancellor about your exams. I’m pleased to say that you were granted special consideration and would not receive the automatic unit failures for not attending your exams. Your semester’s final grade will be determined by your assignments handed in and your overall participation.

And I can honestly say, you did not fail any units this semester, Josie, and that you maintained your high distinction average. Your place at Deakin is guaranteed, and if you wish to take some time off your degree, you have our full support.

I haven’t told Gordon any of this as I have a duty of care to your confidentiality.

I fought hard for your special consideration because I believe in the student that you are and the lawyer you will be.

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, Josie.

I had no idea.

My thoughts are with you.

Please contact me at any time.

Jason.

 

Josie blinked away her tears. Her tutors fought for her to remain at the university. She hadn’t asked them to fight for her. She hadn’t even told any of them that her mother had died. She knew she could get some form of special consideration, but she had no idea that she wouldn’t need to take her exams for those units. She was sure that, in other cases, they wouldn’t allow it. She really did owe her academic future to Jason and her tutors. Her heart was relieved that she could still realise her dream someday. It was all full with appreciation as she pressed reply. She could wait until she made it to Berlin, but Jason had to know how thankful she was for all that he had done for her.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Re: ** IMPORTANT ** JOSIE, READ THIS!

 

Dear Jason,

I have no words to express my gratitude for what you and all my tutors have done for me. You all believe in me when I have little to believe in.

I apologise for never coming to you to tell you how much I was struggling. A part of me didn’t want to tell you because it meant my mother’s cancer was real. And a lot of me knew it was my pride. That if I couldn’t handle law school and take care of my sick mother, then how was I going to make it as a lawyer?

I wanted to tell you.

I made it to your office one day, but I just couldn’t.

And then you stuck your neck out for me and got me an interview with the best law firm in the state, and it happened to be Gordon Sheridan. I didn’t want to let you down. You were one of only a few in my life who has never disappointed me, and I didn’t want to disappoint you. So that’s why I went. Not because I wanted the placement, but because I wanted to show you my appreciation for your kindness.

Yes, I’m in love with Gordon’s son.

He is the very reason I did better in my assignments.

He tutored me, and I didn’t want his offer to help me find a placement at his father’s firm. So when you got me that interview, it felt like I actually deserved it—not that Max didn’t think I deserved it, and that it was a pity placement.

The truth is, I still want to be a lawyer.

But right now, my dreams don’t align with my reality.

I don’t know how to get a hold of my emotions.

Right now, I don’t know how to go back to Deakin and focus.

So I’m going to defer my degree for a while.

I’m actually on my way to Berlin, Germany.

I think I’m trying to deal with my grief by leaving everyone I love behind. I know it’s wrong, but I have family there and have the chance to be part of it. And I want that more than I want my law degree.

I just want to feel like I belong.

So thank you for everything, Jason.

I appreciate your support and your condolences.

Maybe when my dreams align with my reality again, I can be your student once again.

With the utmost respect and appreciation,

Josie.

 

Josie removed a hand from her phone and wiped away her tears. She had unloaded on Jason, but she knew he would understand. Out of all the teachers she had during her bachelor, he had been the one to understand her the most. Josie let out a sigh as she pressed send and a swoosh chimed from her phone. When she returned to her normal inbox, her heart almost wept when she saw Max’s name. Above his email was one from Clara, Stella, and Ally.

As much she loved her friends, her heart needed Max’s words right now. She nervously bit her lip as she opened his email.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: All the things you didn’t know about you that I love …

 

Josephine,

When I last saw you, you asked if I could send you an email with all the things you didn’t know about me that you had yet to discover. This might not be what you were hoping for. But instead, what you needed. I’m going to tell you all the things you didn’t know about you that I love …

• You’re beautiful in every way. Not just when you dress up. You’re beautiful when you laugh and cry.
• When you let down your walls and began to trust me, you were so beautiful.
• You have the kindest heart I’ve ever known.
• Your selflessness.
• Your strength.
• The way you look at the world.
• The way you take a different approach to law.
• Your desire to become a lawyer.
• The way you looked when you realised the ballet performance was for you.
• The fact you know how to bake my favourite cupcake.
• The way you kiss.
• The way you whisper my name.
• The way your eyelids slowly fall when you’re tired.
• The way your touch makes me breathless and my chest tighten.
• The way you look at me.
• Just the way you look at me like you’re in love with me.
• Your undeniable love for your mother.
• Your forgiveness for your father.
• Your acceptance of your stepmother and your sisters.
• Your love for Stella and West.
• Your love for those pink marshmallows with the jelly filling.
• Your friendship with my best friends and their wives and fiancée.
• The fact you wanted me, wanted to love me out of everyone.
• The way you sang “La Vie en Rose” to me when you were sick.
• The way you definitely kiss me. It’s worthy of being mentioned twice.
• How you love me honestly.
• How you liked me honestly.
• How you missed me when I was still with you.
• The soft sighs you make when you sleep.
• The way you feel in my arms.
• The way you made me better.
• That you make me feel a love so pure I don’t know how I ever lived without you … How am I going to live the next days and months without you?
• Your love for me.
• Your belief in me.
• How you let me love you.
• How you let me become your La Vie En Rose.
• That you were on that bridge. It was as if you were meant to be there waiting for me.
• That you were the first person to ask me if I was okay in a long time. It was the moment you let me begin to fall in love with you.

There’s more.

So much more.

It’s not everything I want to say, but it’s the most important right now.

To be honest, it was painful to write this to you because I know you’ll be on the other side of the world when you read it. Miles and miles from where I am.

I still feel like I’m losing because you’re not with me.

But then I remember I have your heart and your love, and I don’t feel like I’m losing as greatly as before. Because I know loss. I almost lost you, and I never want that feeling ever again. I don’t want to know that helplessness that I could never get you back. I want you back home with me, Josephine. But when you’re ready.

This is about you.

I told you that I’d wait for you, and I will.

I love you so much.

I won’t let this break us.

I’ll see you in a tomorrow.

Love,

Your Maxwell.

 

“God,” she breathed as she wiped away the fresh set of tears Max’s email had donned on her.

The smile she made, she couldn’t remove. It seemed so odd, considering she felt an undeniable ache in her chest. Happiness and sadness collided. She was right; she had no idea how to handle her emotions. But Josie told herself that it was okay to feel other emotions than just pain and grief. She was allowed to feel love and hope and happiness. She was allowed to dream of her future with Max.

Because that was where her reality was heading.

Her reality would align with Max’s soon enough.

Exiting her emails, Josie turned on her international roaming and waited for her phone to pick up a service provider. When her phone connected, she watched it fill up with unread messages and missed calls. She ignored them all and pressed on the last number she called while she was in Dubai.

It rang.

And rang.

And rang.

Josie knew it would be late back home and went to hang up when she heard the phone pick up and some mumbling.

“Hello?” Max asked, his voice heavy with sleep and confusion.

“Hey, it’s me,” she said in a soft voice.

“Christ, Josephine!” The sound of a light switch flicking on came from his end. “I fell asleep. God, I’m so sorry. Are you in Berlin? I’m sorry. I went back to work today and had a pile of contracts waiting for me.”

She let out a small laugh. “Don’t be sorry, Max. I just landed in London not too long ago. I read your email and had to call you. I wanted to know things about you that I didn’t know.”

“They are things you didn’t know about me,” he stated.

“I wanted to know about you, Maxwell. Your likes and dislikes.”

He hummed. “I know. But you can find that out when you come home. I really want you to come home, Josephine. It’s been a day, and I’m barely functioning. I reach for my phone to call you, and then I remember I can’t. When you rang, I actually reached out for you in my bed. I miss you so much.”

A tear fell. He and his words were not fair to her heart. “I miss you, too. We never talked about when I’d come home.”

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured to come home on a particular date.”

Her chest tightened. “I know. How about we make a deal?”

“A deal?” The hope that echoed in his voice had her smiling.

“Yes. How about I come home in the new year? That’s less than three months. Dad said he’d continue to cover my apartment’s bills so Stella doesn’t have to worry about that. I have some money. I can come home for a few weeks to see you.”

He was silent.

She could just make out the inhales and exhales he made.

“I don’t think I’d let you go back to Berlin if you came back,” he finally confessed in a tiny voice.

The smile she wore faded. “I know. I probably won’t want to either. But why don’t we have that as a way to keep us sane while we’re apart? Sometime in the new year, we’ll see each other?”

“So three months until I can see you?”

Josie bit back the grin on her lips. “Yes. Three months,” she confirmed. “We’ll figure it out.”

Max let out a relieved exhale. “I can do that. So are you ready for Berlin?”

Josie glanced up at the screen that displayed her flight details. Her flight would be boarding soon, so her call with Max would have to end.

“I don’t want a life there, Max,” she admitted.

“I know you don’t. You being in Germany is temporary. We’re talking months.”

She nodded. “That’s all I can give him. That’s all I want to give him.”

“He knows that.”

“I think he’s hoping I might move there. He spoke of family traditions that they’ve had and wants me to join. I’m not ready for all that, but I’m ready to meet Heidi and Angelika. I’m ready to go to Berlin and repair my relationship with my dad. I’m ready. I just wish … I just wish it hadn’t been my mother’s death that brought us together.” Josie turned away from the screen and in the direction of where her father had gone to grab coffee. She could just see him with two takeout cups in his hand and a newspaper tucked under his arm. His briefcase, he somehow managed to hold in one of the hands that held the takeout cup. “My dad’s on his way back. I’d better go.”

“Okay. Call me—”

“No,” she said, interrupting him.

“Why not?”

“Because you need to sleep. I’ll call you at a more reasonable time. Go back to bed.”

He let out a groan. “Fine. Good night, Josephine.”

“Good night, Maxwell. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Seriously, your sisters are going to love you. You’re going to be fine in Germany.”

I hope so.

Josie hung up the call, not wanting him to hear the fear and hint of excitement in her voice. If she was confused at where she was right now in her life, she was sure Max was, too. Right now, they had a timeframe.

Three months.

They could survive three months.

A new year and a new start for them both was on the horizon, ready to align with their reality.

The flight from London to Berlin had been riddled with so much turbulence that it caused Josie to throw up in the bathroom. She wasn’t sure why her nausea swirled. She had been through a lot worse, but even after she threw up, she slumped in her seat and felt a cold sweat line her forehead. Thankfully, a flight attendant had given her a warm towel and a bottle of cold water. Motion sickness attacked her in ways she never experienced before. Her father insisted she go to a hospital the moment they landed, but Josie refused. As the flight seemed to level and go through clearer skies, she felt a little better. What made it even better was the fact that the flight was less than two hours long, meaning she could get off the plane and inhale fresh air.

But her desire for fresh air was short lived when security stopped her as she reached for her bag on the baggage conveyer belt.

“Ms Faulkner?” the man in a nice suit asked as her bag slipped from her grasp and would now have to make a full trip around the belt.

“Yes?” she asked, fearful of what trouble she could be in.

“I’m Lazlo. I am part of your security team,” he announced. If he had a German accent, it was minor.

Josie winced, nausea swirling violently in her stomach once again. “Excuse me?”

“Which one is your bag?”

She turned around to find where her father had gone to. He said he had to make a call as he got his small suitcase from baggage claim. She couldn’t see him. She had no idea if this man in front of her was legitimately part of her supposed security team. She didn’t even know she had one.

“I need to see some credentials, please.”

His lips spread into a smirk. He was young, but she suspected he was still older than she was. Blonde hair and blue eyes. He had a strong jaw and defined cheekbones. Even Josie had to admit he was attractive. She might be in love with Max, but she was not blind. He reached into his jacket and pulled out his credentials, handing them over.

Josie flipped it over and took in his badge and then his picture. Above it, she noticed Bundespolizei and Polizeiobermeister next to his name.

She didn’t know German. But she suspected that Bundespolizei was the Federal Police.

“Pol …” she murmured.

Lazlo laughed. “Polizeiobermeister is senior constable in German.”

“Right. Of course, it is,” she said as she handed him back his badge and ID. “My bag has the orange ribbon on it. I don’t need a security team, Polizeiobermeister.”

He nodded and then reached out and took her suitcase from the belt. “Laz will be just fine, Ms Faulkner. Actually, you do. See, you are a diplomat’s daughter. You are a high-profile woman even if you don’t believe you are. Your stepmother is the daughter of one of Germany’s political candidates for chancellorship. And if the polls are correct, he will be chancellor in a month’s time. You are then considered the chancellor’s granddaughter, and thus, you require a security team. You’ll be in the media a lot from now.”

What?

“Ah, Josephine, you’ve meet Lazlo,” her father said, taking her carry-on suitcase from her.

Josie’s head pounded.

She had no idea what the hell she had gotten herself into. She knew Johanna’s father was in politics—it was how she and Josie’s father met—but she had no idea that her stepmother would be the German equivalent of the First Daughter. And Josie’s sisters were the First Granddaughters, and by marriage, Josie was the First Step-Granddaughter.

“I did not sign up for this,” she whispered.

“Joseph—”

“No,” she hissed. “I’m tired, Dad. I am so tired. I feel horrible. I want to throw up right now. I have a terrible headache, and you spring this on me? THIS? Is this why you wanted me to come to Berlin?” she cried and tears of anger succumbed her eyes. She knew she was making a scene.

“No, that’s not—”

“I left Max to come here!” she cried out. “I left him and all my responsibilities because I thought you wanted me to be a part of your family. Not this! Not to play some sort of political figure. I finally clean up my act, and I’m suddenly good enough for your family. I’m finally presentable to you and won’t disappoint you or the new chancellor.”

Her father winced. “That’s not true.”

“Screw you! I followed you here because I thought you finally wanted to be my dad. I buried my mother two days ago. You took advantage of that to bring me here.” Her tears ran down her face as she stepped forward and snatched her carry-on suitcase from her father. Then she lifted the handle up and grasped it. It was awkward, but she managed to pull both in the direction of the exit.

Hurried footsteps followed her until her father stepped in front of her and caused her to stop.

“Josephine, that’s not why I asked you to come here. I swear to you, that’s not why I brought you here. I want to be your dad again—”

“Get fucked!” she seethed. “You have no idea what being my dad means. You played me for a fool. I have to be away from you. I can’t look at you right now.”

He nodded, his own tears falling down his face. “I’ll take you home—”

“This isn’t my home!” She raised her voice.

“I’ll take you to a hotel.”

Josie shook her head. “No. I can do it myself. Like I have for the past fourteen years.”

Hurt consumed his face as his lip trembled. Then he nodded. “Lazlo, please assist my daughter to the hotel of her choosing.”

“Yes, Mr Ambassador,” Lazlo said behind her.

Josie felt the suitcases pull away from her as she stared at her father. She didn’t think he could break her heart more, but he did. And she felt so stupid for putting so much faith in him. “I will never forgive you for this,” she promised. “How dare you use me like this. Use my grief against me. Use my desire to get to know Heidi and Angelika against me. Was Johanna’s email even genuine? Or was that part of your plan to get me to come here and support whatever political platform her father has?”

Her father shut his mouth and said nothing.

It was all a lie.

She felt foolish.

A sob escaped her. “How could you?” she cried.

The pain that engulfed her didn’t ease his betrayal. She wasn’t sure why she was so surprised. He had hurt her many times before, but this wounded her in ways she could never put down into words.

“Oh, God, what have I done?” she asked herself. She refused to look at him as she pushed past him and made her way out of the airport, Lazlo not far behind her. When she was outside, the air wasn’t what she needed. It wasn’t as cool as she wanted. It felt hot as she inhaled it, burning her lungs with each breath she took. Josie spotted a free taxi waiting, and she hurried towards it.

“Ms Faulkner, wait!” Lazlo shouted behind her.

When she reached the taxi, she turned around to find the German senior constable running with her suitcases besides him. Lazlo stopped by her, removed her handbag that sat on top of her carry-on, and handed it to her. Then he went to the passenger side and opened the door. He bent down and began to talk in German.

“Danke,” he finally said as he stood straight. Then he reached over and opened the door for Josie. “I told him to drive us to the Hotel am Steinplatz. It’s the best hotel in Berlin.”

Josie nodded. “Thank you, Lazlo.”

His lips pressed into a tight line. “I’m sorry, Ms Faulkner. I thought you knew your father …”

I thought I knew my father, too.