Two Weeks Later

No one’s here yet and I’m just trying to get that feeling back.

The feeling I usually get when I’m skating around with not too many people out here. Feeling the cool wind in my face. Picking up speed and racing down the ice.

But I can’t find it.

It’s not relaxing me, centering me like it usually does. All I feel is a crushing sense of nervousness, of fear, of a strange excitement that’s mingling with everything else.

Fuck, this is unreal.

It’s unreal and the one person I wish I was able to talk to about it…isn’t here. She’s not answering my calls, Kaija won’t tell me where she went and I just…

Fuck, I need Keyra.

My skate skids the wrong way on the ice and I lose my stride, stopping and dropping to the cold area.

I just sit there. Wondering how the fuck I got here and how the hell I’m going to figure things out going forward.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow is when my life will really change.

And I don’t know if I’m ready.

* * *

I reach up to adjust my tie absently, but Michelle smacks my hand away.

“Will you stop that?”

“Stop what?”

“You adjust that tie one more time and I’m going to tie your hands with it.” She scolds, and I blow out a breath.

I’m waiting outside the arrivals terminal, waiting to meet Addison for the first time.

My daughter.

It’s still crazy for me to wrap my head around, let alone this moment being real.

I’ve been trying to deal with my anger first and foremost since I know that’s the least productive thing to feel.

It’s just so fucking hard when people I thought I could trust left me out in the cold on something so important.

“Whatever you think about your ex, remember, this is about Addi.” Michelle tucks a curl behind her ear and I hug her on impulse, making her laugh as her feet leave the ground.

“What was that for?” She’s Harlan’s mom, but she’s a part of my family too and she called me asking if she could tag along today.

“Just grateful you’re here. I don’t think I’ve sweat this much since draft day…shit, not even then.” I start to pull at my collar again, but she raises a brow and I lower my hand.

“If your ex is the dragon you boys say she is, then I’m sure you’re not done sweating for today.”

“She’s being nice right now, but I don’t believe for a second that she’s changed.” My fingers curl and I force myself to relax them. Just thinking about Natalie…God, it makes my blood boil.

The worst thing about Natalie is that she’s the equivalent of a silent killer.

The minute you get comfortable, all hell breaks loose. She’s a viper masquerading as a rabbit, and that’s why I fucked up the first time.

Never have I looked into someone’s eyes and seen the malice I did in hers back then.

I just hope that none of her malicious influence has rubbed off on Addison yet.

There’s a new crowd of arrivals headed our way and I search it anxiously, looking for the familiar.

“They should’ve been here by now.” I murmur. “What if something happened?”

“Da—.” Michelle starts, but I interrupt her.

“Shit, I knew I should’ve gone there. Do you think I should call the airline or something? Maybe they didn’t get on the flight. Ma—.”

“’Scuse me.” There’s a tug on my slacks and I look down.

Way down.

My knees almost buckle.

“Yes?” I whisper, crouching as low as I can so I’m eye level with the dark-haired, green-eyed little sprite.

“What’s your name?” She asks, brow wrinkling.

“I’m Dane. What’s your name?” I clear my throat.

“Addison.” She turns around. “MOMMY, I FOUND DADDY!” She yells in the general vicinity and I look up, seeing Natalie stop short with a large suitcase in tow.

Addison turns back to me and smiles proudly, and I feel a hand on my shoulder.

It’s Michelle’s and she’s misty-eyed, same as I am.

“You are my daddy, right?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m your daddy.” I croak, and she slides a hand in mine and I close my eyes, overwhelmed.

“Good.” She nods her head once, in that final way that children do and I laugh through the lump in my throat, shaking my head.

This is my life now.