Chapter Thirteen
All Selena had pried out of Evan on the nearly two-hour car trip was that they were going to drop by his twin sister’s house and that his sister and her husband had a three-month-old son. Contrary to what Evan apparently thought, this served to do nothing but inspire terror in Selena.
First off, there had been no discussion of meeting each other’s families. That hadn’t even been on her radar, and now she was minutes away from it.
Not only family but a baby too. A baby was helpless and fragile and scared the living daylights out of her. What if she did something wrong? What if she somehow scarred him for life? She had plenty of experience with baby dolls but none with the real, squirming, breathing thing.
The truck’s turn signal clicked as they approached an exit, and Selena’s body shifted into stress mode — heart rate up, blood pressure up, stress up. Maybe she would throw up while she was at it.
“Try to relax,” Evan said. “I think you’ll like Melanie.”
She doubted she would like anything in the next few hours, but what could she do? With a deep breath, she put on an everything’s-fine mask and forced a smile for Evan.
He pulled into the driveway of a house the size of a glorified shoe box, and yet Selena was immediately struck by the homey-ness it. It was painted light blue and had a well-manicured bush beneath each of two symmetrical windows on the front facade. There were three steps up to the door, and the concrete was lined with pots of plants.
“Ready?” Evan asked as he cut the engine.
“Not in the least. Evan, this was never part of the deal.”
“What? Meeting my sister? She’s just my sister. A twenty-nine-year-old new mom who would love to meet you.”
“Let’s get it over with.”
“Try to tone down your enthusiasm. Don’t want to come on too strong to her or the baby.”
Selena climbed out of the truck before Evan could get to her side.
He knocked softly on the front door, and it swung open seconds later.
“You made it,” his sister said, stepping outside and throwing her arms around Evan.
She had strawberry-blond hair and freckles sprinkled across her cheeks and nose. She was tall and mostly slender except for a bit of a post-baby stomach and shockingly large breasts. Nursing breasts? Were hers going to do that? The woman spotted Selena over Evan’s shoulder.
“Hello. You must be Selena. I’m Melanie.”
Selena offered a hand for her to shake and nodded. “Nice to meet you.”
“Evan said he was bringing you along, but he was more than a little mysterious.”
“He’s like that,” Selena said, eyeing him sideways.
“Where’s the little man?” Evan asked, opening the door wider.
“Napping,” Melanie said in a hushed voice. She led them into the living room.
As Melanie motioned for them to sit, they heard baby gurgles coming from the next room.
“Or not. Be right back, y’all.” Melanie left and Evan moved closer to Selena as she glanced around. The inside was as inviting as the outside of the house. Curtains she’d noticed from the driveway had a delicate flower print and matching ribbons holding them back. Coordinated throw pillows covered the chairs, and an afghan was draped over the back of the sofa. A small bookshelf in the corner overflowed with books, and framed photos lined the top shelf. A delicious, sweet aroma wafted in from the kitchen.
“Cute house,” Selena said to Evan, walking to the shelf of photos to see if she could spot him in any. It didn’t take long — he was in Melanie’s wedding picture, as well as several others.
“She’s Martha Stewart to an extreme,” Evan said, and Selena didn’t miss the affection in his voice.
Melanie returned with a tiny baby cradled in her arms. She was playing with his nose, and he flashed a toothless grin every time she touched him.
“This is Henry,” Melanie said, totally absorbed in her son, and honestly, Selena could see why. He was absolutely adorable, and the way he grinned and responded to his mom… It made something deep inside her go soft.
“Henry, my main man, come here to Uncle Evan.”
Melanie handed him over and Evan held him against his chest.
Selena’s insides went from soft to completely puddled at the sight of this big man clearly head over heels with the baby. His hands looked huge as they supported Henry’s head, and yet he was so gentle.
Crap. She was becoming a hopeless sap. She couldn’t help imagining him loving their child like that, and oddly, that vision brought tears to her eyes.
Idiot, Selena said to herself. You can’t have it both ways. You and he do not equal a family, so get over it.
Evan pressed his lips to Henry’s forehead and then held his nephew a few inches over his head, eliciting the biggest grin yet. “You’ve doubled in size, little man. Your mama must be feeding you day and night.”
“If you only knew how true that was,” Melanie said, and Selena noticed the shadows of fatigue under her eyes. “He’s a piglet.”
“You need to let your mama sleep,” Evan told Henry, bringing him up so close to his face that their noses touched.
“Why don’t you two entertain Henry for a couple of minutes and I’ll bring out drinks and a snack.”
“You don’t need to go to any trouble,” Selena said, thinking how overwhelming it must be to take care of an infant all day every day … and night.
“No trouble at all. I made chocolate chip cookies when Evan called to say you were coming.”
“You baked cookies? With a newborn? I’m impressed,” Selena said.
“I cheated. They’re slice and bake. But they do in a pinch.”
“I told you she’s the domestic goddess,” Evan said. “It’s best to do what she says and eat some cookies.”
“Is tea okay?” Melanie asked.
“Does it have caffeine?” Evan asked, surprising Selena.
“Not a drop. I’m trying to stay away from it while I’m nursing.”
“Sounds good,” Selena said, wondering if Evan had told her why they were visiting when he called her earlier.
Melanie disappeared to the kitchen and Evan lowered himself to the sofa. Selena sat next to him, unable to take her eyes off Henry.
“He’s so cute,” she said.
“Of course he is. My mom says he looks like I used to.”
“Your modesty is mind-blowing.”
“Want to hold him?”
“No.” She stared at Henry’s doll-like facial features, completely enchanted by him and yet uneasy.
“You weren’t kidding about not being comfortable around babies.”
Selena shook her head. None of her friends had children yet. Only a couple from her circle were even married. She didn’t have any babies in her family. Hers would be the first.
“I hadn’t either,” Evan admitted. “Not till this guy.” He made a face at Henry and earned a gurgle.
“You seem to know what you’re doing.”
“Nah. If he needs anything, I hand him over to Mel.”
Selena continued to watch Henry. He put his tiny hand in his mouth and sucked on his knuckles for all he was worth. His other hand flailed toward Selena’s side. Without thinking, she stuck her index finger out to touch him. Before she knew it, he’d grasped her finger and held on.
“Kid’s got some good taste,” Evan said. “Sure you don’t want to try holding him? I’ll be right next to you.”
Henry’s big blue eyes were focused on her now and she was mesmerized. “Okay. Come here, Henry.”
Evan helped her settle Henry on her legs, his head near her knees. The baby returned his gaze to Selena. His arms were extended and constantly in motion, and Selena stuck out her pinky finger and let him grip it.
Eyes wide, Henry put his other hand in his mouth again.
Selena watched him intently, fascinated by his every jerky movement. She barely noticed when Melanie returned and set down tall glasses of sweet tea on coasters on the coffee table.
Henry noticed, though, and peered toward his mom.
“Hey, little boy, who’s got you?” Melanie asked. She sat in one of the two armchairs across from the sofa, her attention riveted on her son.
Suddenly the sweet, smooth baby face wrinkled into a frown, and then he let out a full-size wail. Selena tensed and looked frantically at Melanie.
“Your mama’s still here, little man,” Evan said. “Right over there. You inherited her lungs, didn’t you?”
“I upset him,” Selena said, begging Melanie with her eyes to take him back.
“Not at all,” Melanie said, standing and picking up a baby cloth from the end table and coming toward her son. “He just woke up and wants to nurse.”
“I can’t help you there,” Selena said, putting her hand under Henry’s neck as she’d seen Evan do and lifting him.
“Come here,” Melanie said, bending down and taking the baby. She sat back in her chair, then started talking about their mother to Evan as she lifted her T-shirt, unlatched something on her bra, and let the baby begin drinking, just like that. Selena looked away. She’d never seen an infant nurse up close and was surprised at the pull on her emotions. She tried to imagine feeding her own child but couldn’t wrap her brain around it.
“So, Selena, Evan told me on the phone that you’re expecting. When’s the due date?”
“Um, end of June.” Selena glanced up at Evan, wondering what else he’d told his sister. “The twenty-eighth.”
“A summer baby. You’ll be ready to have it by then.”
“I don’t know. The pregnancy … wasn’t planned. I’m not feeling ready for anything at all.”
“Mel,” Evan said, his tone serious. “There’s something I didn’t tell you on the phone. The baby’s mine.”
Melanie’s eyes widened and then she squealed. “Omigod, Evan! How could you keep that to yourself?”
“As Selena said, it wasn’t planned. Not quite the same as you and Brad.”
Melanie looked from Evan to Selena and back. “Then I guess congratulations is the wrong thing to say?”
“We’re still figuring things out,” Evan said.
Selena held her breath, waiting for him to mention his marriage campaign, dreading pressure from his sister. But he didn’t bring it up.
“I have a couple of pregnancy books you can borrow,” Melanie said to Selena. “They helped a ton. Believe me, it’s scary even when you plan it and pray for it.”
“Thank you,” Selena said, overcome by this woman’s kindness. “Scary is an understatement. Henry is the first baby I’ve held.”
“Aw, Henry, did you hear that?”
He didn’t stir, intent as he was on nursing.
“You’re going to have a cousin,” Melanie said to her son.
The words made Selena squirm. She hadn’t begun to consider telling anyone in her family about her pregnancy, let alone think about Evan’s relatives and whether or not they would be involved. It was all too complex and hard to swallow.
“I’d appreciate it if you don’t mention anything to Mom yet,” Evan told his sister. “She needs to hear it from me.”
“When are you going to tell her?”
“As soon as I convince Selena to marry me.”
So much for the gratitude she’d been feeling.
“We’re not getting married,” she said, trying to keep the edge out of her voice.
They avoided the topic for the next few minutes. Henry finished nursing, and Melanie burped him as they talked.
Henry let out a grown-up-sized belch, making all three of them laugh. “That he gets from his daddy,” Melanie said.
“Wonder what our kiddo will inherit from each of us,” Evan said.
“Will y’all find out the baby’s gender before it’s born?” Melanie asked.
“I’m not sure,” Selena said, wearier and more emotionally spent than she’d been in a long time. “I haven’t thought about it yet.”
“I want to know as soon as we can,” Evan said.
“Maybe.” Selena frowned. He was invading her life and her pregnancy bit by bit, slowly bowling her over and continually shocking her with the amount he wanted to be involved. She never would have guessed.
This man who insisted on being right there for every detail of her pregnancy was so in contrast with the sexy, larger-than-life charmer she’d first met at the bar. That man had been safer. She wouldn’t fall for him.
She couldn’t deny that, in a perfect world, she’d want this Evan in her life and the child’s. She’d want the family, and there could even be a chance of them being a happy one. She was obviously insanely attracted to him. He was an honorable, caring man. But his job was a deal breaker. It colored everything and made it impossible for Selena to let herself care about him.
She closed her eyes as Melanie and Evan reminisced about Melanie’s pregnancy and the friendly family battle over the baby’s name. Everything had been the way it should be for Melanie and her husband, it seemed. Happily married, ready to start a family. A built-in support system of parents and siblings. The way it sounded, the biggest dilemma had been whether to name the baby after a family member or give him his very own name.
Selena had screwed up royally. Not just by being irresponsible for a night. It was as if she’d gone out and picked the most heartbreaking candidate to be the father of her child — someone caring and responsible, someone who, in other circumstances, she could imagine raising a family with. Someone who, in reality, she could never let her guard down enough to fall in love with.
Pressure built behind her eyes and in her throat.
The front door opened and a man wearing green scrubs walked in.
“Hey, babe,” he said to Melanie.
“Look who’s here, Henry. Daddy!” Melanie stood and handed the baby to her husband, who leaned in to kiss her. “Evan brought his friend Selena here for a visit.”
She made introductions, omitting the reason Selena and Evan were there. Brad reached out to shake Selena’s hand after he shifted Henry to his left arm.
“Henry’s the star of the show here,” he said, and the sparkle of pride in his eyes, along with the way he pulled Melanie close to him, hit Selena in the gut. This was what family should be.
They sat and talked for another hour about comfortable topics: Brad’s medical residency, Evan and Melanie’s mother, the island, and more. Evan ended up confiding about Selena’s pregnancy, and Brad handled it well and didn’t make a big deal of it. Selena sagged back into the cushions in relief once the subject changed again.
“Did you get that boat?” Brad asked Evan.
“No, man,” Evan said, and Selena caught a hint of his disappointment — before he pasted a grin on his face. He hadn’t said anything about a boat before.
“What?” Brad and Melanie questioned him at once.
“Decided against it.”
“Was there something wrong with the one you’d picked out?” Brad asked. “I thought you said it was perfect.”
“It was. Bad timing is all.”
Selena studied him as Brad continued to ask him about the features, price, model. Evan’s face lit up as he spoke and she wondered … was the baby the reason he’d backed out? Whatever the cause, she gathered it was a hefty sacrifice for him. Yet another repercussion of their bad luck.
“We should go soon,” Selena said after a while, dying to escape.
She’d held the baby, gotten a taste of how cute one could be, witnessed the painful antithesis of her near future, and now she needed to be alone. She wasn’t a member of Evan’s family and never wanted to be, even though she really liked his sister, brother-in-law, and their baby. But it was one more connection she couldn’t afford to make only to lose it.
“I thought you didn’t have to work,” Evan said.
“I need to finish a painting tonight. Besides, Melanie and Brad have enough to do without entertaining us.”
“It’s been great to have adult conversation,” Melanie said. “But it sounds like you have a lot to do.”
“Let me say good-bye to the man,” Evan said, standing and taking his nephew from Melanie’s arms. “Come here, big guy.” He swung him up high again, eliciting a big grin and a wad of drool. “Next time I see you I’ll get you started on surf lessons.”
Henry made contented baby noises as Evan drew him close and kissed his chubby cheeks. Selena’s heart constricted. He was so gentle with his nephew. He’d be a wonderful father.
“I’m glad you came,” Melanie said. “Evan can give you my phone number and email address so you can holler if you want to talk pregnancy or baby stuff.”
“Thank you,” Selena said. She would definitely have a thousand questions before this was over. While Macey had good intentions, she’d never been through pregnancy, and when Selena thought of her friends from Boston, she couldn’t imagine breaking the news to them. Unwed pregnancy wasn’t something they discussed. “Your son is amazing.”
“Yours will be too. Talk to you soon.” She took Henry from Evan and put her arm around her brother. “Love you, Evan. Call me.”
“Take care, guys,” Brad said.
Selena and Evan didn’t talk during the ride home.
It was too much. Watching the happy family of three tore Selena up because she wouldn’t have that. This baby would be shortchanged from day one. Their child would never have what Henry did.