The sound of the bedroom door flying open and slamming against the wall brought me into consciousness abruptly, and I sat up, gasping, my hand on my chest. For a second, just a second, I’d magically travelled back to that awful time when some crazy dude shot me in my own foyer and I almost died. It took me a while to come out of that huge hole, and I had no intention of ever crawling back into its darkness again.

I stared at the intruder, confused at first because it wasn’t a child like I’d expected. It took me a minute to focus on the face of the person gesturing wildly at me, pale and wide eyed. My heart pounded so hard from the scare that it took me a second to focus on the actual words coming out of her mouth. “Get up!” Noelle cried, tears running down her face.

Blinking, I tossed the covers back and threw my legs over the side of the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“Didn’t you see it?” she cried, obviously too distraught to remember she’d woken me up from a dead slumber.

“See what?” I asked gently, crossing the room to place a hand on her shoulder.

She shrugged me off. “The plane. There was an accident—”

My heart dropped to my stomach. “No.”

“It tried to take off in the snow, but slid off the runway, and crashed into another plane. It…they…” She covered her face, choking on a sob. “There were deaths, unconfirmed amounts.”

My throat closed up, and I staggered back. Without a word, I raced to my phone, picking it up. It took me three tries to unlock it, and another three to call Finn. I trembled so badly I almost dropped it as it rang, and rang, and rang…without an answer.

Eyes wide, I hung up and immediately tried again. With each ring of the phone, I tried to reassure myself he was fine. It was fine. Everything was fine.

Ring.

He’s not hurt.

Ring.

He’s not dead.

Ring.

He’s okay.

Ring.

He’s just unable to answer.

Ring.

He promised he’d be home.

Ring.

He never broke his promises.

Voicemail.

I listened to his voice, tears streaming unchecked down my cheeks. When it beeped, I managed to speak. “Finn. Tell me you’re okay. Call me. I need you to…I need you.”

Hanging up, I looked at Noelle. She was as much of a wreck as I was, and also held her phone to her ear. “Riley, don’t you dare do this to me like he did. Don’t you dare. Call me.”

It was then that I remembered her past, and the fact that she’d lost her husband on her wedding night. He’d been hit by a drunk driver. Seeing the hollow look in her eyes as she hung up and called him again hit me hard, and I swallowed past my own fear.

She needed me. Needed reassurance.

I made my way over to her, pulling her into my arms. She held the phone to her ear, letting it ring, as I smoothed my hand down her hair, trying to comfort her…and myself.

“Shh. It’s okay. They’re fine.”

Riley’s voice picked up on the other line, but it was only his voicemail.

She hung up and started calling him again, but I took the phone out of her hand and set it down. She tried to grab for it again, but I pushed her hand away. “Leave it. What if he’s trying to call?”

“He’s got to be okay.” She rested her head on my shoulder, sniffing. “They need to be okay, Carrie.”

I nodded, tears rolling down my cheeks. “I know.”

“Look, I know it’s Christmas Eve and all, but isn’t it too early for—?” Marie came in, yawning, half asleep. She took one look at us and woke up instantly. “What’s going on?”

“The plane. There was an accident.”

She paled, not moving. “Have they called?”

“No, and they’re not answering.”

She covered her mouth, eyes wide. “Were they all on the plane?”

“Y-Yes, I think so,” I said, swallowing hard and hugging Noelle closer as she sobbed. I was as devastated as her, but it was kind of my job to take care of people. I couldn’t turn off the fact that Noelle needed a person to lean on right now, and that person was going to be me.

But Finn.

Marie snapped out of it and rushed toward us, pulling us both into her arms. “Guys, they’re fine. I’m sure they just can’t turn their phones on yet, or something. Or they got lost…”

I closed my eyes.

Noelle sniffed and pushed back, eyeing me. “I’m sorry, Carrie. I’m sure you’re even more upset than me. He’s the father of your children…”

I shook my head. “That doesn’t make me more upset than you. I’m sure we’re both the same…but we have to have faith they’re okay. If Finn was gone…I’d know it in here.” I touched my chest. “He’s not gone.”

She sucked in a breath. “I don’t feel it, either. Last time…”

“Did you feel it?” Marie asked.

“I did.” She swallowed and pushed her dampened hair off her cheeks. “But I don’t now.”

“Me either.”

Marie nodded. “They’re fine. I’m sure of it.”

“Try calling your dad,” Noelle suggested. “I’ll try my father-in-law.”

“And I’ll try Hernandez,” Marie added, bolting out of the room.

I walked toward my phone while Noelle grabbed hers.

“Carrie?” Noelle said, her voice thick.

Facing her, I calmed my features. “Yeah?”

“Thank you. I’m sorry for falling apart on you like that.”

I shook my head and picked up my phone. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

She inclined her head at me.

We both dialed.

Ring.

Please answer.

Ring.

Be okay.

Ring.

Come home.

Ring.

ANSWER.

It wasn’t until the voicemail picked up and I heard Finn’s voice that I realized I’d called the wrong number. I was supposed to be calling my father. I closed my eyes and listened to his voice anyway. I’d been next to him when he recorded this message, and if I listened closely enough, I could hear Susan giggling in the background as she tried to snatch his phone out of his hand so he couldn’t play on it, since she had been waiting for him to read to her.

Tears burned, but I blinked them back.

After the phone beeped, I hung up. This time, I called the proper number, but was greeted with the same outcome. Voicemail—this time, my father’s. I listened to his warm, professional tone, then swallowed hard at the beep. “Dad, it’s me. Call me as soon as you get this.”

Hanging up, I took a second to compose myself before facing Noelle. We locked eyes, and both shook our heads. I opened up Finn’s location on my iPhone and let out a breath.

Nothing.

“No one is answering,” Noelle whispered.

I frowned down at my screen that wouldn’t show me where my husband was. “Think of it this way. If they’re all not answering, maybe it’s a good sign. Like, you know, what are the chances they were all hurt? The plane was still on the ground when it crashed. It can’t be that bad, right?”

Marie came in with a purpose, remote in her hand. I wasn’t even sure where she’d gotten it from, or when she’d picked it up. She flipped the TV on. Within seconds, she flipped it to CNN, but they were talking about the President’s visit to Africa, not the plane crash. “Come on,” she muttered, shaking the remote as if that would fix it.

The screen flashed, and it changed to the plane crash. I moved closer, staring at the fire on the screen with horror as the newscaster spoke. “Tragedy struck in Utah, when a plane took off in icy conditions, slamming into each other. Reports say the plane skidded out of control. The sound of screeching tires and scraping metal could be heard from inside the airport. There are preliminary confirmed casualties of at least twenty, but we are waiting for updates from the police as to whether that is an accurate number or not.”

I sank to the bed, staring at the screen with my heart thudding against my ribs.

Noelle sagged against the wall, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Marie stood in shock, staring at the TV.

“Mommy?” a tiny, all too familiar voice said.

Marie jerked, turning the TV off.

I stood up, smoothing my hands over my cheeks, and let out a long breath. By the time I turned around, I was as calm as I could hope to be under these circumstances. “Hey, baby. You’re up early.”

She rubbed her eyes and came toward me. Holding her favorite stuffed cat by the tail in her left hand, she yawned. “I heard voices. Is Daddy home yet?”

“N-No. Not yet. It’s just us,” I said, forcing a smile. “You hungry?”

She nodded, pouting. “I want Daddy to come home and feed me. I want to wait for him.”

My heart twisted. What if… what if he never got to do that again?

What if he didn’t come home?

My breath got stuck in my chest, and I started heaving, trying to breathe.

“Mommy?” Susan asked, her little face crumbling. “Are you okay?”

“I’m…I’m fine,” I gasped, faking a cough. “I just…”

Marie must’ve noticed how close I was to losing it, because she rushed forward and grabbed Susan, pulling her into a tight hug in her arms. “Can I make you eggs? I make the best eggs ever.”

Susan smiled up at her. “Okay. I like eggs.”

Marie walked off with my daughter, and I covered my face, taking a shuddering breath. I couldn’t lose it in front of my kids. Not now. Not ever. I rested my forehead on the wall, closing my eyes and counting in my head. One. Two. Three. Finn was fine. Four. Five. Six. He wouldn’t leave me like that. Seven. Eight. Nine. We were going to grow old together, and rock in our rocking chairs with grandkids on our laps and the sunsets at our backs. Ten.

He promised me he’d be home for Christmas.