HUDSON DIDN’T MAKE it back to the Cross much these days. Not that he shunned his past so much as he’d moved on. But Bluey McNeil had called and when the man who’d given him his first job telephoned, Hudson made an effort.
Bluey hadn’t sounded good. In fact, he’d coughed three times during their brief conversation. Hacking coughs that invoked an image of Bluey’s packet-a-day habit and how haggard he’d looked the last time Hudson saw him about three months ago.
Foreboding lengthened Hudson’s strides as he rounded the iconic El Alamein Fountain, skirted the bar he’d found his father passed out in too many times to count, and into the tiny jazz club aptly named Bluey’s after its owner.
While the sun blazed outside, inside the club channelled the darkest midnight, with blackout drapes ensuring the wall sconces glowed and the faux candles created an atmosphere of intimacy. A few patrons dotted tables around the small stage, where a solo saxophonist did his thing. No older than twenty, the kid wasn’t bad. And obviously another of Bluey’s charity cases, as he’d once been.
‘Hey, Squirt, thanks for coming.’ A hand clapped him on the back, and Hudson grinned. He’d been a late bloomer, so Bluey had always called him Squirt and the nickname had stuck, even after he shot past six foot at seventeen.
However, when he turned around and caught sight of his friend, Hudson’s grin faded. Bluey looked terrible. A walking skeleton. Parchment-thin skin stretched across cheekbones. Furrows bracketing his mouth. And a pallor that indicated just how ill his friend was.
‘Any time, you old reprobate.’ Hudson enveloped Bluey in a man hug, not surprised that his arms met at the back when they once couldn’t. Bluey had lost a shitload of weight and his earlier foreboding blossomed into full-blown panic.
They disengaged, and Bluey gestured at the bar. ‘Let’s have a seat. What can I get you?’
‘The usual,’ Hudson said, knowing it got a rise out of his old friend every time.
Bluey’s nose wrinkled. ‘Orange juice with a spritz of soda is a girl’s drink.’
‘So you’ve told me a million times before.’ Hudson leaned his forearms on the bar, taking comfort in watching Bluey fill a glass with orange juice and adding a shot of vodka rather than soda, something he’d seen countless times before. ‘What’s up, old man? Woman troubles?’
Bluey grunted and slid the glass along the bar towards him. ‘You’ve got a big mouth for a whippersnapper. You know my heart belonged to Julia and no woman has come close since.’
‘Who’s talking about your heart?’ Hudson raised his glass in a silent toast, wondering if Mak’s mum ever knew about Bluey’s crush on her.
This place wasn’t just special because of his first boss. Bluey’s was the place he’d met Mak, doing homework on a makeshift bench set up in a nook off the main hallway leading to the kitchen, while her mum worked tables. She’d been a beaming fifteen-year-old high on life; he’d been a jaded twenty desperate to get out of the Cross. But there’d been something about her, something refreshing, and once they’d started chatting their friendship had been born.
Back then he’d watched Bluey make puppy dog eyes at Julia, who’d taken it in her stride, as pleasant to Bluey as she’d been to his customers. Everyone had loved Julia and he could’ve been well on his way to feeling the same for her daughter if he hadn’t screwed up so monumentally.
‘Listen, Squirt, I’ve got something to tell you.’ Bluey braced himself on the counter behind the bar and Hudson knew the news was bad from the way his eyes darted away. ‘I’m heading to the big jazz bar in the sky. Lung cancer. Terminal. Few months left, tops.’
Hudson’s stomach fell away, and he downed the orange and vodka in two gulps as Bluey continued. ‘I wanted you to hear it from me, not by a second-hand phone call after one of the geezers here rang to invite you to my funeral.’
Hudson wanted to say something, anything, to make this better. He remained silent, anger and regret roiling in his gut alongside the vodka.
‘And before you go getting all sentimental on me, stop.’ Bluey thumped his fist against the bar. ‘I’ve been around for sixty-one years and been lucky enough to run this place for most of it. So don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve had a good inning. And enjoyed sucking back on each and every one of those bloody cancer sticks that gave me this bugger of an illness.’ He thumped his chest. ‘So now you know. What’s happening with you?’
The ache of impending loss blossomed in Hudson’s chest. He’d experienced the same feeling before, the night he’d strode into Le Chat and seen Mak stripping on stage. In that moment he’d laid eyes on her, wearing a thong and little else, he’d known they were over.
And when she’d removed that thong...there’d been no coming back from that, and he grieved the loss of their friendship almost as much as he’d grieved the mother he’d never known.
This time he waited until the ache eased. Took his time formulating a response. If he’d done the same thing with Mak back then, maybe they would’ve had a chance.
When the lump in his throat finally subsided, Hudson said, ‘Thanks for telling me but damn, it’s fucked up.’
‘Yeah, Squirt, it is, but what’s a man to do?’ Bluey shrugged and blinked rapidly. ‘Tell me something to take my mind off it.’
‘Mak auditioned for me today.’ The words tripped out in haste and he instantly regretted them because if he’d cottoned on to Bluey’s crush on Julia the old guy definitely noticed his on Mak and had teased him endlessly about it.
‘How’s she doing?’
‘Good.’ Hudson ignored the knowing glint in Bluey’s astute gaze. ‘She’s got talent. I’m casting her as the lead dancer in the revue I’m producing at Embue.’
‘Well, well, well.’ Bluey folded his arms, his grin smug. ‘This should be interesting.’
‘We’ll be working together in a professional capacity,’ he said, sounding like a pompous ass and hoping he could keep it that way.
He needed to delineate clear boundaries from the start: he would be Mak’s boss, she’d need to follow his orders. He couldn’t afford to blur lines. Not when he had no frigging idea how he’d go seeing her dance for him every single day. Just because he’d coped at her audition didn’t mean he had a grip on his memories.
Seeing her dance for those few minutes already had him thinking about her way too much and imagining how their future interactions would go, professional or otherwise.
Bluey sniggered. ‘I have no idea why you two fell out and I haven’t seen that darling girl in years but you tell her I said hi. And if you’ve got half a brain in that big head of yours, you’ll treat her right this time.’
‘What do you mean, this time?’
Bluey rolled his eyes. ‘Because, numbskull, it’s always the man’s fault, and if you haven’t figured that out by now, you’re thicker than I thought.’
Hudson managed a wry grin. ‘I’m going to miss you.’
‘Right back at you, kid.’ Bluey’s eyes glistened before he turned away to cough, the harsh sound raising the hairs on the back of Hudson’s neck.
Life wasn’t fair. He’d figured that out pretty damn early when his mum did a runner and he was left in the custody of a mean drunk. But losing Bluey would hit hard and he knew it.
When Bluey’s cough petered out, he turned back around. ‘Now get the hell out so I can do some work.’
‘Propping up the bar, you mean?’ Hudson stood, moved around the bar, and enveloped him in another hug. ‘You call me, okay? Any time, day or night, if you need anything.’
‘Thanks, kid.’ Bluey shoved him away with half-hearted force. ‘You always were a soft touch.’
Not always. Hudson had taken a hard stand with Mak and look how that had turned out.
‘I’ll pop in next week,’ he said, and Bluey saluted in response, his mouth downturned and worry clouding his eyes.
Bluey had said he had months to live but with a death sentence hanging over him, Hudson understood the old guy would be living each day as his last.
The injustice of it all swamped him anew and he headed for the door, desperate for air before he bawled. He stumbled outside, and it took a while until his eyes adjusted to the sudden glare and he made for the nearby fountain, slumping onto a bench next to it.
Tourists streamed by, snapping pics with their phones or giggling excitedly about being in Australia’s most notorious suburb.
To him, Kings Cross would always be home in a way no one could understand unless they’d lived here. Unless they’d braved the back streets. Unless they’d used every ounce of savviness to survive.
Mak understood. And catching up with Bluey had clarified his situation with her in a way he could never have anticipated.
Life was too short to hold on to the past. Ironic, he’d strived so hard to become successful and put the past behind him yet here he was, back where it all started, feeling as lost and lonely as he had back then.
He’d come a long way. Mak probably had, too. He had no right to judge her. Not any more.
When she came in tonight, he’d keep an open mind. Be friendly. Try to forget the past and focus on the future.
They both deserved that.