One Month Later

 

The crowd roared as the puck glided across the ice and straight into the net, giving us the win of the night.

“And Lightning Logan strikes again,” the sportscaster announced with excitement. “There is no doubt in my mind that if the Rangers keep this up, they’ll be playing in the playoffs.”

As my teammates and I congratulated each other, the roar of the crowd sent a rush through me. My fans chanted my name as I skated around the ice with a smile while I held my stick in one hand and gave a polite wave with the other. Heading to the locker room, celebratory drinks were in order. Sprays of champagne flew through the air as we passed the bottle and each of us took a swig from it.

“Let’s go do something different tonight,” Tommy said.

“Like what?” I pulled my shirt over my head.

“Let’s go over to Angel Sent on Long Island. Angelica is working tonight.”

“Dude, are you still trying to get her to go out with you?”

“Fuck yeah.” He smiled.

“You’ve already seen her tits and ass. What’s left to the imagination?”

“How my cock would feel inside her when I’m pounding her ass from behind.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. But to be honest, I don’t think the girls there are very attractive.”

“Says you. I think they look just fine.” He smirked.

We told the team we were going to skip Louie’s tonight and Tommy and I headed to the parking garage where his Porsche GT3 was parked. As Tommy drove us to Angel Sent, he pulled his phone from his pocket and made a slight left onto the I-495 E ramp. He glanced at his phone for a second when I noticed bright lights heading towards us.

“What the fuck!” I shouted. “Tommy, that car is heading straight for us.” He looked up and tried to swerve.

CRASH was the only sound I heard as the car rolled, landing upside down in the middle of the expressway before another car smashed into the driver’s side and everything went black.

****

Beep. Beep. Beep. I could hear the sound in the background, but I didn’t know where it was coming from. My head hurt, making it impossible to open my eyes. The faint sound of a voice I recognized seemed close.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you, bro. Please wake up.”

It was my brother, Owen. What happened? Where was I?

“We’re here for you, Logan. You’re going to make it through this.”

Another familiar voice. My brother, Brandon. Make it through what? What was he talking about? I felt like I was trapped in a dream. A dream where I couldn’t wake up.

“Son.” My dad’s voice was close to my ear.

I wanted to wake up, but something was holding me back. A shadow in the distance. A shadow that called itself fear. If I woke up, I would have to face whatever happened and my mind wasn’t ready to deal with it yet.

I couldn’t tell you how long I was like that, but suddenly, my eyes opened, pierced by the bright lights that fell upon them.

“Thank God.” Owen jumped up from the chair. “Bro.” His face was inches from mine.

“Where am I?” I whispered.

“You’re in the hospital, Logan. You were in a bad accident,” Brandon spoke as he stood next to Owen.

Headlights took hold of my memory. The sound of a crash and the feeling of flying through the air gripped me. My breathing became restricted. I was losing air and my heart was pounding out of my chest. My brothers screamed for the nurse. A burning sensation filled my body as a blonde-haired woman stood over me. Suddenly, everything went black.

****

Two Days Later

“Welcome back, Mr. Jackson.” The blonde-haired woman gave me a small smile as I slowly opened my eyes.

“How long have I been out?”

Before I knew it, Owen was at my side. “Two days, bro. You’ve been asleep for two days.”

I looked up at the three IV bags that were hanging to the side of me and then at my leg, which was in a cast and in traction. My lip felt fat and I could feel bandages around my face.

Suddenly, the door opened and Brandon walked in. He looked at me and all I could see was the pain that resided in his eyes.

“The accident. How’s Tommy?” I asked.

Brandon and Owen looked at each other and Owen squeezed my hand.

“I’m sorry, bro. He didn’t make it.”

A heaviness infiltrated my chest as a tear fell from my eye. A single tear turned into multiple ones as they streamed down my face. My best friend and teammate was gone. A man that I’d known for the past nine years, and a man that was always there for me. I sank back into my dream, a place where I felt safe. I slept for another day until my mind was ready to deal with more of the aftermath of the accident.

****

Three Days Later

I pushed the button, calling for the nurse and screaming out in pain. The meds were wearing off and I needed more. Walking into the room, Cassie, my day nurse, inserted a syringe into my IV.

“You’ll feel some relief in a few seconds, Logan.” She smiled.

Why was she smiling? This was fucked up. I was fucked up and she was smiling at me. The excruciating pain started to subside.

“Don’t fucking smile at me, Cassie.” I turned my head and looked out the window.

“Be nice, Logan, or you won’t get any more pain meds.”

“Yeah. Like you could do that.” I shook my head. “Get the hell out of here.”

Shaking her head, she walked out of my room just as all my teammates walked in. Today was Tommy’s funeral and I couldn’t be there. It angered me. Everything angered me. The guys meant well, but I didn’t want to see them. I didn’t want to see anyone. Not even my brothers. My dad walked in and placed his hand on my arm.

“You’re alive, son, and that’s all that matters,” he spoke as he sat down in the chair next to my bed.

“I’d be better off dead.”

“Logan. Don’t say that. I already lost your mother and I won’t lose you too.”

I ignored him. He stayed a short while and then left. My Aunt Vanessa walked in with a tin full of her homemade chocolate chip cookies. That always put a smile on my face. But not now. Nothing could make me smile ever again.

“I brought your favorite cookies, Logan.” She smiled as she set them down and kissed my head.

“Thanks, Aunt Vanessa.”

“Talk to me, honey,” she softly spoke as she placed her hand on mine.

“There’s nothing to talk about. My life is over. I wish I would have died in that accident.”

“You don’t mean that, Logan.”

“YES I DO!” I snapped at her. “What the fuck good is my life if I can’t play hockey ever again? I would have rather died than to live a life I hate.”

“You have people who love you. Do you understand how bad it hurts us to hear you talk like that?”

Did I care? No. Not in the least. I no longer cared about anybody or anything. Playing hockey was my life and, without it, I had no life.