ABBY had not seen Andrew for over a week. For eight days, he had avoided her, ignored her, and not responded to any of her messages from the night when he ran out. Nothing felt the same in her world. Sighing out her disappointment, she pulled herself out of bed and got ready for her day at the hospital. She arrived at work a few minutes early. It gave her extra time to familiarize herself with the patients she would see that day.

She had a full day. In addition to the patients she had seen last week, there were four new names on her roster. It meant she likely wouldn’t be able to stop for lunch. She didn’t mind that too much. She had not been eating lately. She had no appetite, with everything that happened.

As she walked to her first appointment, one of the doctors stopped her in the hallway. She couldn’t remember his name. She had met so many of the staff last week. His face was familiar. He looked a bit like Rob, with blond hair, smiling eyes, and a tall, fit athletic body. She thought he might be from Pediatric Oncology, but wasn’t certain.

“Hi. Abby, was it?” He asked. “I was at your orientation a few weeks ago. I’m not sure if you remember me? I’m Paul Jacoby.”

What a relief he had said his name. “Yes I do, Dr. Jacoby. How are you?”

“Please, call me Paul.”

“Sure, Paul. Is there something I can help you with?”

“No. Nothing in particular. I just wanted to say welcome to the hospital. Are you enjoying your placement so far?”

“Absolutely. It’s been great. I love the work. It’s exactly what I saw myself doing years ago when I chose nursing.”

“That’s great to hear. Out of curiosity, do you live in the area?”

Abby wasn’t sure she liked where this was going. “I’m not too far away. Why do you ask?”

“A few of us go to drinks every Wednesday or Thursday night. I thought you might want to come along. It’s a good crowd. A nice mix of doctors, nurses and some of the other specialists and administrative staff. We go after shift, to relax a bit. We all need to decompress from time to time. We’re going tonight, if you’re up for it.”

Abby hesitated. She couldn’t tell if he was interested in her or just being friendly. Either way, she wasn’t sure she was ready to start socializing with coworkers. Not with Andrew on her mind.

“Can I let you know later on?”

“Sure, that works,” he answered.

“Great.”

He looked at his watch. He probably sensed her discomfort. “Well, I’ve got to get back. Enjoy your shift, Abby.”

“You too. Thanks for the invite.”

When Abby shift was almost over, she saw Paul again. They were heading out to the parking lot at the same time. He asked her again. Beside school and her placements, she hadn’t talked to anyone but Ruth all week. She wanted to put the pain behind her, but going out so soon didn’t feel right. She wasn’t ready. She asked Paul for a rain check, and promised she would try to come out with the group in a few weeks, once she settled in.

Paul had a slightly disappointed expression on his face, but smiled politely. “It’s okay,” he told her. “I’ll hold you to that rain check. See you around, Abby.”

“Take care, Paul,” she answered, and headed to her car.

* * *

ABBY had not heard from Andrew in two weeks. She missed him terribly, but had come to terms with reality. Something went horribly wrong, and now he didn’t want to see her, speak with her, or be with her. The whole thing left her completely confused, heartbroken and in emotional turmoil. She was crushed.

She was all the more grateful for her placement, and for school. She threw herself into work at the hospital, and focused on getting through the last two semesters of her Master’s program. Both were a godsend. They allowed her to get through the days. Her nights were another story.

She would get home, cook, clean, and one night she even baked. She never enjoyed baking, and it showed. The kitchen was a disaster area that night. Flour everywhere. Bowls, the mixer, the blender, baking trays scattered around. And she had managed to get her hair covered in loose flour. It was a mess.

She would also organize and reorganize her bedroom, but that was worse. She wished she could get rid of all the clothes he had bought her. They were a constant reminder of what happened between them. She tried to understand what could have turned him into such a completely different person with no warning. His silence had gone too far. And now she had no hope.

One evening her phone rang. She had looked at that phone so many times, wondering when he would actually call back, or text, or reach out to her in some way. When she picked up the phone and looked at the number, it was not familiar. Holding out the faint hope it was Andrew, she answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Abby? It’s Trina.”

“Oh, hi Trina. How are you doing? How is John?”

“We’re both fine. I hadn’t heard from you in a while. I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m great. How is John?”

“He’s doing amazing. He should be out really soon. After that, he’ll be focused on the physiotherapy.”

“Well that’s great to hear, Trina. I’m so relieved he’s improved so quickly.”

“Yes. Me too. We’ll be staying with my parents. The physiotherapist office is pretty close. Can you believe it? We’re moving in together. Well, sort of.”

“That’s great, Trina. I’m really happy for you and John.”

“And with this timing, were pretty sure we’ll be back in school this September.”

“Fantastic… I’m so glad you called, Trina.”

“Hold on there. Don’t go hanging up so quickly, Missy.”

“Was there something more?”

“Of course there’s more. I want to hear about you and Andrew.”

And there it was. That was the Trina Abby had come to know. “There isn’t much to tell, Trina.”

“Well how about you tell me, and let me be the judge of that.”

“I prefer not to talk about it right now.”

“What happened? You know you can talk to me. It will feel better when you talk about it.”

“I don’t think so,” she answered, already starting to feel the tears welling up in her eyes. “Actually Trina, I think I’ll talk to you later.”

“Abby. Come on. You know it’s better to talk. We’re not meant to keep it all bottled up inside.”

Abby was silent on the line. The tears were falling, and she did her best to keep them to herself. Trina had called about her good news, and she didn’t want to rain on her parade. She pulled herself together and managed to say, “I’m really happy to hear about John, Trina. I’m so happy for the both of you. I’m going to go now. And I’ll talk to you later okay? Thanks so much for calling.”

“Please don’t hang up, Abby. But if you have to, I understand. Just know I’m here for you if you need to talk.”

“Thank you. Have a good night and give my best to John. Bye.”

Abby hung up and went to bed. She was not ready to talk about it. There really wasn’t much to talk about. Not ten minutes later, her phone buzzed.

She was going to let it ring through to voicemail, but the truth was, she did want to get some of it off her chest. She picked up the phone when she saw it was Trina again.

“Hi Trina.”

“Hi Abby.”

“Forgot something?” Abby asked.

“No. I think you did.”

“What do you mean?”

“Something told me to call you again. Something told me you needed someone to listen to you tonight. If I’m wrong, then fine. But don’t keep it to yourself. Don’t hold it in. It’s not good. So now I’m going to be quiet, and I’m going to let you talk.”

Abby sat silently. This time, she was ready to talk. “I don’t know what I did wrong, Trina. He’s not talking to me anymore. He was going to tell me about his past. And he must have thought I beat him to it by researching him online. But I didn’t. And now he won’t talk to me…I really thought he was the one.”

Abby broke down and cried. The sobs continued. Trina sat quietly on the other end of the line. She waited for Abby to continue.

“I haven’t spoken to him for two weeks. I feel so depressed…and broken. I can’t do anything about it right now while school is going on. He’s all the way out there. If he doesn’t take a step toward me, I don’t think we’ll have anything anymore. See? There really isn’t that much. But it feels like my world is upside down. I wish he would just talk to me.”

“Abby, I’m so sorry,” Trina said in a voice so nurturing and calm, Abby could cry all over again. “He’ll come to his senses. Men don’t have the tools to communicate the way we do… Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No, please don’t,” Abby said quickly. “Don’t. You can’t. It’ll probably push him further away.”

“All right. I won’t. You have my word. But if he asks me for any advice, I’ll be sure to set him straight.”

“Good.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yes. I’ll be fine. These things will work themselves out. Or not. Either way, I’ll have to live with it. Thanks for listening, Trina. And thanks for being persistent. You’re right. It does feel better to the let some of it out.”

“You’re more than welcome, dear.”

“I have to get some sleep now. Have a good night, Trina. Give my love to John.”

“Good night, Abby.”

Abby hung up, and the phone vibrated again. She turned the phone off, and slipped in between the sheets. She needed her sleep. She wanted to forget.

* * *

The next morning when Abby checked her messages, it was Rob. He had sent a text, inviting her to dinner that weekend with him and Ruth. She wasn’t sure if Trina put him up to it. She could use the company, but not right away. She replied and told them she would love to, if he didn’t mind waiting a few weeks. She needed to bring her spirits up before facing anyone in a social setting.