I could hear the two women whispering in the kitchen when I finally made my way downstairs, and I couldn’t help but listen as Ally and Jamie talked about me. Ally was upset because Jamie hadn’t told her that I was being released, or that I was actually coming here to stay. But this was me, not some stranger. I know we had a lot of unresolved issues, but that was so many years ago. And I hadn’t exactly expected her to run and jump into my waiting arms, but it gnawed at me that she felt threatened, or at least that’s what it sounded like. Did Ally also judge me for what I had done? Did Jamie ever bother to tell her best friend what really happened that night?

I looked longingly up the stairs, contemplating just heading back to my room and staying there until the dust settled. But I knew hiding was not the answer. It was time to face the music.

Jaime and Ally were standing at the kitchen island talking when I walked in.

“I switched shifts with Layla so I could have some time to study at the library, but I forgot that it closed early on Fridays,” Ally said changing the subject like a pro.

“Well, that explains why you were home early,” Jaime replied, glancing in my direction.

Ally was looking everywhere but at me, her arms crossed over her chest, and Jaime just stared at me, her eyes alight with humor. Unsure of what to do next, I cleared my throat and did an awkward hand wave to Ally.

“Uh…hi, Ally. It’s nice to see you again, I’m sorry I scared you,” I apologized hastily.

Turning to glare at my sister, I added, “Jaime didn’t tell me that you were staying here, in master bedroom, might I add.”

Jaime just shrugged her shoulders innocently.

A soft blush had risen on Ally’s cheeks, but her eyes still sparked with a degree of anger or rather disappointment when she looked at me and responded, “Its fine.”

That was it, nothing more. She turned her back, and began to set the table; basically, cutting me off from any further conversation.

I lowered my hand slowly and looked from her to my sister. Jaime just raised her eyebrows and shrugged as if to say, who knows?

“Shall we eat then? Dinner is ready.” Jaime said as she pushed back from the island. “I made your favorite; pot roast, caramelized carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy and cornbread. There’s also strawberry shortcake for dessert.”

Well now, that was a blast from the past. The aroma already played ping pong with my senses, the thought of what I’ve missed out, food wise, while I was in prison sent a rumble through my stomach. I wondered if a person could really die from over eating in one meal. I aimed to try.

“Thanks, sis, you didn’t have to go to all this trouble, but I appreciate it,” I said sincerely. Still smarting from Ally’s coldness, I added.

“You’ve gone out of your way to make me feel so comfortable back in our old home.” Judging by the way, Ally’s shoulders stiffened, I could tell she heard my emphasis on Jaime’s individual effort to make me feel comfortable and it being our home. Petty yes, but I didn’t care.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Jaime either because she swatted me with a slotted spoon on her way to the table. Dinner was a quiet and somewhat awkward affair. Jaime tried to make conversation but neither Ally nor I was really willing to engage in small talk. After a few minutes of one-word responses she finally gave up, and we ate in strained silence.

I sat across from Ally, and Jaime sat to my right. Anytime I looked up for whatever reason, Ally quickly looked down at her plate, or off to the side appearing to be lost in thought. A few times I caught her staring at my face, presumably my scar. I just rolled my eyes and focused on my food. If she wanted to judge me based on how I looked, then fine! It was the best meal I’d had in years, literally. Ignoring the gnawing discomfort I was feeling with the discord between the two of us, I ate with more gusto than I had in a long time. After clearing two plates of food, I sat back stuffed.

“That’s was excellent Jaime. I think you would have given Nana Joyce a run for her money.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” she beamed. “I’m sure they didn’t have gourmet chefs in the pen…” her words trailed off awkwardly. Her eyes darting from mine to Ally’s and back again, “… well, I’m just glad you enjoyed it. I’ll get these dishes cleared.”

She stood up quickly following the uncomfortable silence, but I put a hand on hers to stop her, “Jaime, it’s okay,” I said reassuringly. But I was looking into Ally’s eyes when I said, “It’s no secret that I was in jail. We don’t have to dance around the subject.” I squeezed her hand in comfort as I looked at my sister again and then I turned my gaze back to Ally, “People are going to talk, draw their own conclusions, however wrong they may be. But we are going to get on with our lives, and they can think what they want.”

“But, Jason they don’t know that you…” she started.

“Jaime, I served my time,” I interrupted before she could say anything else. “It’s over and done with. We know the truth, and that’s enough for me. I just want to move on. Can you do that for me?”

She squeezed my hand back, “Yeah, I guess,” she said but there was a distinct hint of sadness in her tone. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel guilty for my crimes.

“We’ll get through this,” I said again.

“I know, I love you,” she said and offered a half smile. It was a glimmer of hope in a dark stormy ocean, but it was something.

“I love you too. Now, let me help you with these dishes.”

Jamie would have none of it. She shooed me away and told me to go on upstairs and get some rest. She had already put fresh sheets on the bed and set a new toothbrush out for me to use. She knew today had been a long emotional day for me. I hated to admit it, but I was exhausted. The southern manners that our parents had instilled in us warred with the exhaustion, but the exhaustion won fair and square.

I hugged her goodnight, gave a curt nod to Ally, and went up to my room. Grabbing my new toothbrush, I headed to the half bath to brush my teeth before crawling into my old bed. It was a little small for me now, only a full-size mattress, but I didn’t care. Anything beat the threadbare blankets and concrete bed with the half an inch mattress, that I had called home for the past eight years.

It couldn’t have taken me long to fall asleep, and for most part I was dead to the world until the nightmares started. They used to plague me every night in prison at the start of my sentence, but slowly over the years they faded, re-occurring once in a while. It had been months since the last one, and it was always the same nightmare, with varied endings. It was like the replay of a horror film. This time I wasn’t able to get to Jaime in time, an invisible wall kept me from pulling the bastard off of her. The sick fuck just turned and grinned at me before he continued to assault my baby sister. I pounded and screamed and threw my body at the wall, desperate to get to her as she screamed and cried out for help.

I woke drenched in sweat with the covers tangled around me. Despite the sweat, goosebumps raised on my arms as chills wracked my body. This had been one of the bad ones. Rubbing my hands across my face, I threw off the covers and padded to bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. That was it for the night, I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep now. I glanced up in the mirror in front of me, and instead of the rugged hardened criminal, it was a younger version of myself staring back at me. In a matter of a night, everything had changed. One moment I had been playing football, attempted to attend classes, I had friends from here to Texas, and then just like that, in the blink of an eye I lost it all. Because of one sequence of events. I would never call, what I did, a mistake because it sure as hell was justice. But that was my opinion, and no one else shared in that. I scooped some more water and splashed my face again before tugging the hand-towel off the rail and patting my face dry.

Not wanting to wake Jaime, I tiptoed downstairs and into the kitchen. It was time for the most epic chick move of all, comfort food. Ice cream and root beer, I had spotted the root beer earlier when I was in the kitchen just before Jamie had dished up dinner, and I knew for a fact that there was ice cream left after desert. I grabbed what I needed, quickly scooped a few large dollops of vanilla ice cream into the glass and topped it up with root beer. Ignoring the remnants of my nightmare, I took a big mouthful. The tang of the soda mixed with the sweetness of the ice cream was perfection. It tasted much better than I remembered. I moved to the table and sat down with my treat. I was just about to take another slurp when I heard the hinges of the kitchen door creaking. Looking up, I saw the silhouette of a short, fuller figure tiptoeing to the fridge. It had to be Ally. Jaimie was much taller and more slender. Plus, I would recognize that shape, even in the dark.

I sat there, with my spoon frozen in mid-air unsure of what to do. I could make a noise and let her know I was here, but I didn’t want to startle her and have her wake up the whole damn neighborhood.

I was about to clear my throat when the fridge opened and the light illuminated her enticing body. She was wearing a sleep shirt that ended just below her ass, which reminded me of old times, when she would sleep over. Desire made my mouth run dry. Wordlessly, I watched her get out a can of soda. When she moved to the freezer, I looked at her quizzically. Surely, she wasn’t making a root beer float too?

I watched her search the freezer for a few moments. She rose up on her toes to search the top shelf and I knew for a fact that her sleep shirt had ridden up and was most likely exposing her fine ass. But all I could see was the outline of her, and my imagination ran wild with its own imagery. Involuntarily, I cleared my throat as I continue to stare at her.

With a sharp intake of breath, she whirled around clutching the soda to her chest.

“Sorry Ally,” I said quickly before she could scream. “I swear I didn’t mean to scare you. I just didn’t know how to get your attention without startling you.”

“What are you doing sitting in the dark?” Eyeing me suspiciously, she walked over to the far wall and flipped on the middle switch. The dining room light flashed on, momentarily blinding me. The dots cleared from my vision, and I could finally see her in living color, not just a haunting image of her. But now she was hidden behind the island and all I could see what the top half of her.

I was sick of her attitude towards me. “I just wanted a root beer float,” I said pointing to the ice cream container and the empty can on the table next to me.

She opened her mouth to speak, but I stood up, scraping my chair back, and she froze. I just shook my head at her.

“I don’t know what your problem with me is, but don’t worry Princess, I’m no longer in the mood.” Grabbing my glass and spoon, I stalked over to the sink. Pouring the contents down the drain, I rinsed the glass and spoon and put them on the rack. Making sure to skirt around the opposite edge of the island, I ignored her completely as I headed out.

“Jason wait,” she called out. “I didn’t mean to…”

More hurt than angry I lashed out “Didn’t mean to what? Didn’t mean to treat me like the monster I am? Don’t bother denying it, I can see the way that you look at me.”

She just stood there, open mouthed, her eyes never leaving mine.

“Look, I never expected my homecoming to be easy, but I sure as hell didn’t expect to have this kind of animosity in my own home. Not from you of all people.”

I pushed through the kitchen door and stalked upstairs, not caring if I woke Jaime up.