CHAPTER 14

Mac

Zara had curled her fists tightly into the bedding and her face had paled a little when I’d asked her to share her secrets. I hadn’t expected her to actually agree. I’d been sure she was going to back off, but nope. My girl showed how strong she was by squaring her shoulders and daring me with a “You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.” As though we were in school and comparing test scores or something.

I scrubbed my palms over my face. Was I really going to do this? Tell Zara about my sister? Dropping my hands, I continued with my pacing.

“Bee - Beatrice was only three years younger than me. As a baby she’d been a pretty little thing. That only grew as she got older. She had this thick, black hair, and these big dark brown eyes. Typical Italian I guess, but to me she always reminded me of an angel. And I failed her. Didn’t keep her protected. It was my job as her big brother. I knew our parents were too busy working to do it. Fuck.”

I had to stop to clear my throat. Talking about Bee like this had memories flashing through my mind. A rustling sound had me turning toward the bed. Zara slipped from the mattress to stand. She was completely naked and I was grateful I’d taken the time to clean her up as best I could while she’d been out with the pain meds. However, even with her skin clean of dirt, her body still bore the marks of what those bastards had done to her and I couldn’t hold back the growl that escaped as I saw each and every scratch and bruise. An image of Bee’s broken body flickered over Zara’s. I closed my eyes and dropped my face, trying to banish the image.

Soft, warm fingers slid over my stomach and around to my back. Lush breasts pressed against my torso a moment before Zara pressed a kiss over my heart. My arms snapped out, one wrapping around her waist, pressing her hard against me, while the other tangled in her hair. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with Zara’s smell. I wanted this over with, then I could bury myself in her body and let it all go. Hopefully. If she’d let me.

“Bee was a dreamer. Never saw the bad in people. I guess she was lonely, too. My parents worked hard with the family business. A restaurant. Probably too hard, we didn’t get a whole lot of quality time with them growing up. And I was too busy enjoying my final years of high school, distracted with pumping iron, chasing girls and screwing around with my mates to notice Bee was drifting.

“A boy made the most of her loneliness. A fucking gangbanger hooked my sweet, baby sister in when she was just fifteen. Fourteen months later she was dead. The little fucker had been handing her around between his friends, and beating on her. We had no idea until it was too late. Till he took it too fucking far and killed her.”

Zara gasped and her arms around me tightened. I pressed my face into her hair, breathing deep against her warmth.

“I was so angry, and I was such a stupid fucking kid. We lived in L.A. and I made a desperate decision to get revenge on the bastard. I went to the fucking mob. Even back then I was tall, and with all the gym work I’d been doing, I was strong. But I didn’t have any fucking fighting skills. The mob soon dealt with that. And two months after we buried Bee I got to take that piece of shit out.”

I went silent. The only sound in the room was my breathing, which was coming in and out of my lungs in ragged heaves. Fuck, I felt like I’d run a marathon.

“The mob didn’t let you leave afterward, did they?”

“No, they didn’t. My parents were left empty after Bee was murdered, then when the mob claimed me they couldn’t take it. They sold up and moved down to Florida, away from all the memories. I wanted to go with them but the mob wouldn’t release me. They knew I’d make a good enforcer and planned to train me as such. But I couldn’t do it. Some of the assholes deserved the beat downs they got, but for the most part they were just desperate people who made the wrong choice to ask the mob for help.”

“You could relate to them.”

“Fuck, yeah. I saw myself in each one. So I enlisted, figuring if anyone wouldn’t bend to the mob’s pressure it’d be Uncle Sam. Turns out I was right. They left me alone.”

“When was the last time you saw your parents, Mac?”

Zara voice had gone whisper soft.

“My graduation from MCRD.” She looked up at me with confusion in her gaze. “Marine Corp Recruiting Depot, it’s the basic training I went through to become a Marine. I saw them in the crowd, but they were gone by the time I went to find them after the ceremony.”

Her hot tears landed on my skin, melting my heart. This woman was too good for me. But right now, I didn’t care. I wanted to make her mine, keep her always. “When I saw you on that mattress, all torn up, I saw Bee. Thought I was too late again, that I’d lost you too.” I took her face in my palms and tilted it up to mine. Her eyes were glossed over with moisture and her cheeks were wet with the tears she was shedding for me. “I can’t lose you, Zara. Especially not like that. I’m gonna be over-protective and a pain in your ass, but I can’t let you go.”

Her lips kicked up a little. “Guess it’s a good thing I like you all growly and caveman-like then, huh?”

“Growly? I’ll show you growly, woman.”

I lowered my face to hers, intending on taking her mouth hard but pulled back at the last moment. I’d nearly forgotten about her ripped up lips. Dammit. I’d nearly hurt her. I feathered light kisses over her healing skin. Her body went liquid against mine, all her weight leaning against me as she sighed. I ran my hands down her back until I could cup her delectable ass. I lifted her easily and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I stepped over to the bed. I moved over the mattress so I sat against the headboard, keeping her in my lap before I spoke again.

“Your turn, bunny.”

Zara

Those three words had me stiffening. I was still reeling from his story, the trauma that had led him to the Marines and obviously onto the MC afterward. And his sister–I shuddered. No wonder he was the way he was about women. I pressed another kiss to his chest, right over his rapidly beating heart. I was straddling his lap, buck-ass naked, while he wore only a pair of gym shorts. But sex wouldn’t be happening any time soon. Not until he got all the gory details, then who knew where things would go. I shifted so I sat sideways, his arms coming around me so I could comfortably snuggle up against his chest. I ran my fingertips through his chest hair, loving how he didn’t wax or shave it like so many men did these days. Taking a deep breath, I rushed the story out, wanting to get it over with as fast as possible.

“I told you how I was taken already. I woke up lying on a filthy mattress to see a man screwing an unconscious girl near me. I tried to stay quiet, hoping he hadn’t noticed I’d woken up. He finished with the first girl and moved to another, one that was begging him for drugs. Another man came in and said Sledge was asking for me to be brought to him. So they dragged me out of the room. I tried to remember what you taught in that class, I tried to fight them off, but I couldn’t.” A sob tore free, forcing me to stop speaking.

“Oh, baby. Even with a heap of training, not many can fight off two men who are so much bigger than them, on their own. Especially when coming off whatever drug they gave you.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head as I took a couple of deep breaths. I really wanted to get this over with. I knew Mac was going to get really pissed off over what happened next. I just hoped he wouldn’t get up to start pacing again. Being curled up in his lap had me feeling safe and protected. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep speaking if he didn’t have me in his arms like this.

“They took me to Sledge in another room. When I kept lashing out at them, one of them punched me in the face. After that my mind went a little fuzzy. I still can’t remember everything. I know I managed to hit Sledge in the face, and that was when they cuffed my hands to the headboard. I guess I must have run my mouth too much and pissed Sledge off enough he wanted to shut me up.” I paused to gently touch my lips. They were a lot better after having all the ointment rubbed in, but they were still rough to touch, and ached. “He used a couple of bungee cords to hold my mouth open. He wanted to fuck my mouth but knew I’d fucking bite him if I could. Even with those damn things cutting into my cheeks and stretching my lips I still managed to clench my teeth shut. I think that’s why my lips are so torn up, because I fought against them. He got the message I’d bite his dick off if he put it anywhere near my mouth.”

I stopped speaking when I realized how still Mac was beneath me. I slowly shifted to glance up at his face and recoiled. His jaw was clenched tight, the muscles all rigid. His eyes were burning with fury as he stared at something over my head. His arms, which had been cradling me so carefully, had gone tight and now held me firmly against his body. The only part of him that was moving was his chest. His breaths were sawing in and out of his lungs as though he were running. Maybe I shouldn’t have shared so many details?

“Mac? Babe?”

With a wince, he closed his eyes. When they opened again his gaze was filled with pain as he focused on my face. Lifting a hand he lightly ran his thumb over my mouth.

“Tell me the rest. Get it all out. Then I can go take my fury out on Sledge.”

I jerked in his grip, eyes wide. “Sledge is here? In this building?”

Panic ran through me, and I tried to wriggle off Mac’s lap. I had to leave, get away…

“Stop. You don’t need to run. He’s down in the basement, fully restrained and waiting for me to go deliver his punishment. You’re safe. What happened after they fucked up your mouth, bunny?”

“He started pulling at my skirt and I kicked out at him. I caught Sledge in the face with my knee, so he punched me in the stomach. It made me throw up. I guess that saved me. I remember seeing I’d splattered him with it. They left me then. But throwing up sucked all my energy. I was so tired and I could feel the cataplexy attack coming. I had no energy left to fight it. Things got a really hazy after that. I think a different couple of men came in. I’m not sure what I dreamt and what was real. I mean the man with the eyes that flashed to blue can’t be real, right?” I shook my head. “Somehow I ended up back in that room on the disgusting mattress and then you came...”

I didn’t mention the words I thought he whispered to me, just in case they hadn’t been real.

“The man with the freaky eyes was real. I’m not sure what the fuck they are but there are three of them and they’ve now taken over the Iron Hammers. Maverick, you remember him? The vice president of the Satan’s Cowboys? He vouched for them. But I’ve never seen anything like it, babe. The way they fought, and I saw the flashing eye thing too.”

I continued to twirl my fingers through his chest hair, nerves building in my stomach.

“Mac?”

“Hmmm?”

“Love me?”

He went still again and I winced. Had I pushed too hard, or too soon? Did he not want me anymore? Now the others had touched me, did he see me as dirty? I tried again to scoot off his lap and when he let me, my heart cracked wide open. I wiped a tear from my face as I rose to my feet.

“You don’t have to do that, Zara. I don’t want to pressure you into something you’re not ready for. I refuse to be the cause of more of your pain.”

He didn’t think this rejection was hurting me? Fury raced through my veins, wiping out the sadness.

“Too late for that one, you already did. I’m going to go have a shower and you better be gone when I get out.” I walked over to the bathroom, mumbling as I went. “Guess I was dreaming when I heard you say you loved me. Clearly, you don’t.”

By the time I stood at the bathroom sink, tugging off the bandages on my wrists, I felt like someone had taken an axe to my heart. In a blur, I turned on the shower and held my hand under the cold spray, waiting for the heat to come. Numbness filled me from the inside out.

“You didn’t dream that.”

I yelped as I jumped. Mac was standing directly behind me and had spoken right next to my ear.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

I pressed a hand over my heart while I tried to get my heart rate to slow down. Mac’s large palms cupped my hips and brought me back against his body. His hot, hard, very naked body. I opened my mouth to get enough air in my lungs as steam from the now-hot shower curled around us. His lips pressed kisses across my shoulder and I tilted my head so he could continue up my neck. He stopped near my ear.

“I’d just carried your battered body out of that place, after I thought I’d lost you. Before I’d let Donna and Rose treat you, I demanded a moment. I used that time to whisper to you. I had no idea if you heard me or not, until just now. It wasn’t a dream, bunny. I do love you, so fucking much that I can’t breathe without you. Don’t ever doubt that.”

He reached into the stall and adjusted the temperature, then guided me under the spray. As I stood there in silent shock, he soaped up his hands, then set about cleaning every inch of my skin. He left me breathless. I didn’t know what to say. He was washing away more than simply the dirt from my skin.

“I took your bra and panties off earlier and cleaned you up the best I could. I wanted you to be comfortable while you slept and not have to wake to the smell of puke. But I couldn’t wash you properly. Not like I can now. I’ll always want my hands on you, Zara. No matter what happens. I. Will. Always. Want. You. I didn’t mean to hurt you just now. You threw me for a minute because I didn’t think you’d want me to touch you after what happened. I thought you were trying to give me what you thought I wanted. But that wasn’t it, was it?”

I shook my head as he turned me around to face him. I pressed my soapy front up against him, rising up on my toes to get closer to his face.

“Kiss me. Like you did yesterday.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, babe.”

“I’m not made of spun glass, Mac. I’m not gonna break. I need to feel alive, need to know you still want me like you did yesterday.”

He took my face between his palms, holding me still as his gaze drilled into mine. “You are the most precious thing in my world, Zara. And I don’t want you the same as I did yesterday. I want you more. Each day my need for you grows.”

With that, he slammed his mouth down over mine and I whimpered. The arousal that shot through my system like lightning wiped out any discomfort from my injured mouth. This is what I needed. For him to fill me with his passion, to wipe away last night with his love.