Chapter Nine
Nate didn’t bother to get dressed for their discussion but wrapped a towel around his waist and sat on the bed. So Rae wore a towel as well and took the armchair nearby. He was in a strange mood. Didn’t guys just go to sleep after good sex? No matter what was grizzling his gizzard, he’d have to admit that was great sex.
He didn’t say anything for a bit but sat staring at his hands between his knees. She took the time to glance over at the clothes she’d planned to wear today—shorts and platform espadrilles that with any luck would make her legs look especially long. She’d planned to finish the outfit with a colorful top that suggested cleavage. Perfect for Désirée. Not so much for Rae. Now he’d seen her truly naked. How would he react when she put on her costume again?
“First of all,” he said. “I know who you are.”
“I don’t know what your problem is.” Knew who she was? What did that mean? “But my name is Désirée Knight. You can check my driver’s license.”
“Rae,” he said.
“It’s a nickname. You’ve heard of those, I hope.”
“And you write a sex column for single women. I get that,” he said. “But I know who you really are.”
Her heart rate picked up. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I’ve seen you at Sufficient Grounds.” He gestured as if that proved something. “And not just the time we met and agreed to come here.”
“The coffee shop?” Did he mean he’d seen her? Rae, not Désirée. But he didn’t know they were one and the same person. Right?
“Almost every weekday morning. You order a latte and sit in the back corner typing away on your laptop.”
She could only gape at him. “You knew that was me?”
“I see your picture in the magazine next to every column.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t look like me. Or I don’t look like that. Not most of the time. Not without major help.” God, she was babbling. He’d known who she was the entire time? Had he agreed to come here knowing it was her? Why? “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I was getting ready to, and then you came in looking like…” He waved his hand around. “Well, the way you’ve been looking lately.”
Speech escaped her completely. He’d known about her true self all this time and, apparently, wanted her anyway. She wouldn’t have had to put on this act for him if she’d waited a bit. But this assignment wouldn’t have waited, so she’d been pretty much stuck with the role-play. No way could she have guessed that all she’d had to do was approach him, give him the truth, and invite him here.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t go on pretending I don’t know who you really are,” he said. “And I don’t like fucking someone under false pretenses.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, almost dislodging the towel. “Don’t you think that sounds a little judgmental?”
He rubbed a hand over his face. “Maybe. I got burned once by the dishonesty of a lover. Once was more than enough.”
So, he’d just promoted her to lover from…what were they—fuck buddies? She could chew on that later. “You weren’t entirely honest yourself. How did you know to go along with my plan?”
His face turned a deep red—brighter than the hot shower had made it. “I overheard your phone conversation. In the ladies’ room at the coffee shop.”
“You were eavesdropping.” She should have known when he practically fell into the ladies’ room.
“What was I supposed to do?” He gestured with both arms. “You took off as if your hair was on fire. There might have been something wrong with you.”
“So you overheard me talking to my friend and decided to become my man for the week.”
“Something like that.” He got up and paced. His towel stayed firmly in place. “I was helping you.”
“And helping yourself to a whole bunch of free sex.”
He stopped pacing and glared at her. “You were doing the same thing.”
“Yeah, I guess I was.” Two people playing a game. Only now they’d had sex that was more. He’d known the real Rae and wanted her. He’d lavished every bit of attention on her body as he had when she’d been in costume. He’d worked out his deepest desire with her, not her persona. This was suddenly getting too close to real.
“We’re going to have to keep up the act for the sake of the magazine article,” she said. “You’re still going to have to be only a temporary lover, and I’ll have to be Désirée.
He put his hands on his hips and stared at the floor. “I know.”
“You don’t have to act as if I’m leading you to the guillotine. This is a nice resort.” She took a deep breath. “And you don’t have to have sex with me. That was never a requirement.”
His head snapped around, and his mouth fell open. “You can say that after what we just shared?”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t fuck me. Just that you don’t have to.”
“You totally don’t understand.” He crouched in front of her. “I want you. I’ve always wanted you. Not the made-up phony. You.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“I want to.”
She stared into his intense hazel eyes, at his sexily rumpled hair, at his chiseled jaw. This guy could have any woman he desired, and he wanted her. That would take some time to absorb.
“I guess we’ve both been pretty dishonest with each other.” Although she hadn’t stalked him into a restroom to eavesdrop on his conversation. She had to get some credit for that. “And it is kind of funny, when you think about it.”
“If you have a twisted sense of humor.”
“Luckily, I have one of those,” she said. “So are you willing to keep being my Hook-Up Man?”
“Yeah. But let’s change one thing.” He wagged a finger at her. “We may play roles out there, but in here we’re real.”
…
Rae had spent so much time in bed with Nate—and on a table and in the shower—she’d have to work hard to get back to her article. Now she sat by the pool again, yellow-lined pad on her lap, waiting for the magical hour when the denizens of Eros’ Retreat would go into their act.
Because of Eros’ Retreat’s strict policies regarding privacy, guests can feel completely free to express their sexuality without fear of prying eyes or disapproval. Couples can act out fantasies and experiment with what they’d normally consider forbidden. As long as they have the consent of their partner, anything goes. The brochure cautions that lovers may reach a level of intimacy they hadn’t expected. Counselors are available to work through any issues that may arise because of this closeness.
She’d become close to Nate, all right. She’d exposed herself to him in more ways than one. The sex. Allowing strangers to watch her naked and in the act. And now their new honesty. She’d had all that with the man of her hottest fantasies. What did she do when the week ended and they went back to their regular lives? Was she supposed to thank him for the good sex and wish him well? They’d more or less agreed to do that.
The resort is definitely not for the faint of heart. That doesn’t mean shy people won’t have a positive experience here. To the contrary, an introvert can open an honest dialogue about her needs here that might be difficult or impossible in her everyday life.
Nate snuggled up next to her on the two-person chaise lounge by the pool. “Is that the best position for you to write in?”
“Unfortunately, without my laptop, this is all I have”
“It doesn’t look very comfortable. Your wrists and elbows are at a funny angle.”
“Thanks, but I don’t need a physical therapist right now.” What she needed was a way to describe what it felt to be at Eros’ Retreat without making it all about herself. Or all about Nate and herself.
He reached over and massaged the back of her neck. “You’re all tension back here.”
She had to admit he was right. With his strong fingers working the muscles she could let her head loll one way and then the other. Working out kinks.
“If you were in a better position, this wouldn’t happen,” he said.
“I suppose you’re an expert on this sort of stuff.”
“I had to know about the ergonomics of typing. Designing word processors and tablets is what I do for a living,” he said. “Or I did.”
“Sorry about your company.”
“Thanks, but I came out smelling like a rose.” He didn’t look as if he was all that happy about being rich but not having his company. His expression said he’d resigned himself to it. Still, she couldn’t do much for him but reassure him nothing that had happened was his fault. She’d tried that with little success.
“So, how’s the article coming?” he said.
“Good, I think.”
“Let me see.” He reached for her pad, but she pulled it away.
“Not for public consumption yet.”
“I’m not the public,” he said.
“Really. It’s too rough.”
“I’m sure it’s wonderful.” He held out his hand. “Come on.”
She handed over the pad, and he read her words without giving any emotion away. She’d spoken in general terms about intimacy profound enough to cause issues. Not for the faint of heart. He had to know she also meant that specifically about them.
“Really good, Rae.” He handed the pad back to her. “You’re writing is what makes you you. It’s what attracted me to you in the first place.”
“Thanks.” He was being agreeable again. She ought to accept that without question. But they’d sparred so much, getting along felt weird.
“You know what’s going to happen at five, right?” she said.
He glanced at his watch. “Any minute now.”
“This area becomes clothing optional.” A daily ritual here. People showed off and might very well hook up. She could get good material here. Strictly confidential, of course.
Sure enough, a gong sounded. People didn’t start shedding their clothes immediately. In fact, they seemed to keep on with what they’d originally been doing. Instead, new folks appeared, some of the men with towels around their waists. Others wore shorts, and the women appeared in cover-ups. They ditched their clothes, and the party was on.
“See anything you like?” Nate asked.
“I wasn’t really looking.” She made a point to be open-minded about these things. Nothing wrong with a little nudity among friends. Still, she didn’t have to ogle every man’s package just because she could. Neither did she have to stare at the women and wonder if their hips were more slender and their boobs bigger.
“What about you?” she asked.
Cassandra and Rod had shown up, Cassandra on her husband’s arm. Cassandra sure knew how to strut her stuff, and Rod appeared proud of all the attention she got as she walked along the side of the pool. She was wearing something—a beach cover-up. The fabric was translucent, though, and her lithe body showed through. Jeez, did she spend all her spare time in a gym? Nate checked her out and then glanced away quickly.
“No harm looking,” Rae said.
“She’s with her husband.” He shrugged. “Besides, she’s not my type.”
He really was trying to be a good guy, bless his heart. She could get to enjoy this if she wasn’t careful.
The normally attentive waitstaff became more present, with several circulating. This was cocktail hour, after all. Some poured sangria from pitchers, while others carried trays of margaritas. Rae took one of those and let the salt tickle her tongue while the liquor and lime went down like a smoothie.
“Say, isn’t that Lecherous Louise?” Nate asked.
He pointed toward a couple approaching them. It was, indeed, Louise and her husband, clothed, thank heaven. Louise was holding a half-empty margarita glass, and she giggled as she took a seat on the lounge nearest Rae. “I was hoping to talk to you.”
“Really?” Rae said. “What about?”
Louise giggled again, this time holding her free hand over her mouth. Either she’d had a few more margaritas or she really couldn’t hold her liquor. “You and your Nate. Do you ever swing?”
“We’re exclusive,” Nate said.
“For this week,” Rae added.
Nate’s head snapped around, and he stared at her. She might have to remind him—again—that she was Single and Sexy. Single. He needn’t start acting possessive.
Sam took a seat next to Louise. “I told her it couldn’t hurt to ask.”
“Of course not.” Rae pulled a consent form she’d handwritten from the back of her pad. “Say, would you folks like to be interviewed for my article?”
Louise placed her hand over her heart? “Us?”
“Sure. I’d like to show Eros’ Retreat through the eyes of regular people,” she said. “I won’t print anything that would identify you in any way, although I would like to quote you, if that’s okay.”
“What do you think, dear?” Louise asked her husband.
“If it’ll make you happy.” Sam took the form and read through it quickly. It didn’t say much more than what she’d already told them. Then he took the pen from Rae and signed. Once Louise had also signed, Sam gave her the form and the pen.
Clearly, the man took pleasure in making his wife happy. Some couples managed that. These two would make great fodder for her article.
“So, tell me a little about yourselves,” Rae said. “You’re married, I gather.”
“Six years. We have a three-year-old daughter,” Sam answered.
“She’s with her nanna for a week,” Louise added.
“Do you have pictures?” Nate asked.
Huh? A guy like Nate with no nesting instincts at all wanted to see pictures of a three-year-old?
“Of course.” Sam pulled his wallet out of the pocket of his shorts. He flipped through a few pictures and showed one to Nate. “Here she is at the play center we take her to. The teachers there say she has a very high IQ.”
“She’s adorable,” Nate gushed. “Three is such a great age.”
Rae stared at him. Since when had he become an expert on little kids? Rae only had the vaguest idea of how children operated.
“See?” He held the wallet out toward her.
“Yeah, sure. Cute.” The little girl in question was wearing a ballerina outfit and had curly, dark hair and her father’s eyes. She was pretty, but that wasn’t the point of this interview.
Sam took the wallet back and flipped through a few more pictures. “Here’s one from her latest birthday party. She got cake all over herself.”
“Great age,” Nate repeated. “Enjoy it while you can.”
“Do you have children?” Rae asked. Maybe he’d forgotten to mention his offspring in the story of his messy divorce.
Louise giggled again. “You’d know that, wouldn’t you?”
“Well, yes, I would think so.” She wouldn’t have slipped up like that if he were acting normal. What single man was interested in toddlers?
“No kids.” He ran his arm around Rae and squeezed. “Maybe someday.”
What was wrong with him? She gave him an elbow to the ribs. She did it as unobtrusively as she could, but that wasn’t something you could easily hide.
“Married six years, one daughter,” Rae said. “Now we have that established, how are you enjoying Eros’ Retreat?”
“It’s been wonderful.” Louise slipped her hand into her husband’s. “Just what we needed. Time for one another with no distractions.”
Guess naked strangers strutting around didn’t count as distractions in Louise’s book. In fact, things were getting a bit more interesting than that. A threesome had established itself in the pool. One man and two women with a lot of hugging and kissing in all possible combinations. Lord only knew what hands were doing under the water’s surface. And on the opposite side, a couple walked off toward one of the cabanas. The guy was already sporting happy wood.
“Don’t get us wrong. Our daughter is the best thing that ever happened to us,” Sam said. Louise nodded for emphasis and stared at her husband with obvious adoration in her eyes. A lovely display, if you liked that sort of thing. They’d have their time here and return home to jobs and housework and the little one underfoot. Who knew when they’d have really good sex again?
“So you came here for a vacation from parenthood,” Rae said.
“We love parenthood,” Louise protested. “But we also need time for us.”
“And how about the fantasy you shared at the other session? Have you found your cabana boy named Ramon yet?” Rae asked.
This time, Sam blushed. Right on cue, noises emanated from the cabana the other couple had just populated. Someone was having a good time in there.
“Not quite that loud, but uh…” Sam said.
Which meant they had with Sam in a starring role. Cute. An all-around cute family, including the three-year-old.
“And you?” Louise asked. “Did Nate spank you?”
Nate smiled. “Just a matter of time.”
They had had his desire—sex so intimate it worked its way into your cells. Even though he swore he was as dedicated to remain single as she was, the closeness had started to get worrisome. To top that off, he was acting domesticated.
“Are you two thinking of settling down together?” Louise asked.
“Désirée is supposed to be asking the questions, honey,” Sam said.
Nate hadn’t completely given up his hold on her. “Who knows what the future holds?”
Rae cleared her throat. “I write a column about the joys of being single.”
“But we’re here together,” Nate said.
“Yes, we are.” Rae closed her pad. “I think I need to talk to Nate for a minute. Can we continue this later?”
“You know where to find us.” Sam rose. “Come on, babe, let’s go back to the room.”
The two of them walked off, hand in hand. Maybe to have more sex. They’d come here for that, after all.
As soon as they were out of hearing range, she squirmed out of Nate’s half embrace. “What was all that nonsense about?”
He tried to look innocent. “What nonsense?”
“Asking to see pictures of the ankle-biter. ‘Three is a great age.’” She used air quotes on that last.
“I’ve heard it is.”
“From whom?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just have.”
“I’m supposed to be writing about sex, not raising children.”
“I was only being polite. Looking at pictures of people’s children is expected.” He pointed to the threesome in the pool. “Maybe you should have interviewed them, instead.”
He could be right, but too late now. None of them appeared in any state to answer questions. Unless she was mistaken, there was coitus going on over there and probably a lot of fondling, too. All eyes closed in concentration. Not nearly as interesting as what they’d participated in in the Theater.
“Louise and Sam are probably having married sex right now,” Nate said.
“You mean vanilla missionary position?” she asked.
“Not at all.” He didn’t add anything but gazed out over the scene as if naked strangers going at it in the pool happened every day.
“Elaborate,” she said.
“Your erotic brain doesn’t blink out after the wedding,” he said. “Married people do everything single people do but with love.”
Just what she needed. A lecture on the benefits of marriage. “Is that what you did with…”
“Mallory,” he supplied.
Now the faceless woman had a name. “Did you and Mallory do it with love?”
He grabbed the bottle of water on the table next to him and took a long drink. “I thought we did.”
She couldn’t bring herself to ask if he and Mallory had had anything better than what they’d shared in the shower. He might answer they had, and that would put her in second place. She shouldn’t care. She was his for a week, and then they’d go their own ways. She was so not going to get attached to him. Okay, maybe they could get together for casual sex from time to time afterward, but no more than that.
“Do you miss that?” some demon inside Rae prompted her to say.
“Maybe at first,” he said. “Then I remembered I was working too hard for much sex, anyway.”
“It was something you loved doing,” she said. The same way she felt about her column and now maybe more. Maybe more feature articles and from there, who knew?
“Finally, I figured quantity could make up for quality.” He lifted his bottled water in a toast.
“You said it.” Except for the fact that until this week, she hadn’t had, either. She’d had to use her imagination to fuel her columns. Little had she suspected reality could be better than fantasy.
A couple of orgasms sounded from the direction of the pool. His and hers and maybe the other hers, too. Fun and games over there. Scattered applause followed from some of the observers.
“Through cross-examining me?” Nate asked.
“Maybe I was interviewing you.”
“You need to tell me that before you start, no?”
And get it down on paper. Still, she had a good memory.
“Mallory fucked me over with another guy. She and her father took the company that I dreamed up and worked my ass off for,” he said. “I don’t have good memories about marriage.”
“That’s why we’re both going to remain single forever.”
“Yeah.” He didn’t appear at all happy about that pronouncement, but they’d gone into this with an agreement. What did he want? Hearts and roses? She didn’t have that to give.
She needed to talk a walk and think this through…alone this time.