Breakable
Aunt Loraine met Quinn and Cooper at the hospital entrance and reached for Brayden. “I’ll look after him. You two go on.”
They rushed into the waiting room at the same time Nurse Murphy came through the door leading to the wing Dad was in.
Quinn examined the woman’s expression for any indication of the prognosis. “Is he . . . ?” She couldn’t even get the words out.
“He’s going to be okay. They’ll likely keep him overnight for observation.” She patted Quinn’s forearm. “It’s completely normal protocol any time there’s trauma to the head.”
“Trauma?” The room started to slant.
Next to her, Cooper gently drew her to the safety of his side.
Nurse Murphy’s warm smile emitted waves of assurance Quinn wished she could grasp on to. “Your dad took quite the fall off those back steps. But I tell you what. If there’s anyone hardheaded enough to get the better of those rickety things, it’s George Thompson.”
A small laugh escaped Quinn’s tight diaphragm. “You’re probably right about that.”
Cooper ran a hand up and down her arm, strong and comforting.
Nurse Murphy’s eyes softened while looking them over. “You remind me of your parents. George may be losing portions of his mental capabilities, but his love for his wife? I reckon it’s as strong as the day he married her.”
She reached for both their arms. “You two hang on to that kind of love. It’s what’ll carry you through moments like these.” With a quick pat, she offered one more nod and headed past them to leave.
Quinn brought her hands around her elbows, but her insides still crumbled.
A love like her parents had. Is that what people saw? What they believed? Guilt closed in on the tails of an even greater sorrow. She’d wanted that kind of love most of her life. Turns out the closest she could come was nothing more than a charade.
It was one thing to let herself start to rely on having Cooper in her life, but to drag her family into getting attached to him too?
“Quinn—”
“Don’t.” She couldn’t bear the apology in his voice, the tenderness. Stepping away from the false security, she met Cooper’s eyes for the briefest moment. “Please, don’t say anything.” She walked through the door from one lie toward another.
The sound of machines led her down a cold, sterile hall. In the doorway to Dad’s hospital room, she held the trim, grasping on to what little composure she had left. She couldn’t deny this was part of why she’d moved away. To avoid seeing him like this, asleep in a hospital bed with probes and tubes tethered to his body while monitors chimed their anthem of uncertainty. It was too much, too hard.
“Quinn.” Mama let go of Dad’s hand, crossed the room, and bundled her in a hug. “He’s going to be fine, sugar.” She rubbed circles over Quinn’s back.
“Why didn’t you tell me things were getting this bad?”
The circular motion stopped. Mama leaned back and draped Quinn’s hair over the front of either shoulder. “Now, don’t you be fretting over this. Your daddy’s as strong as they come. And with everyone praying, I just know—”
“Stop. Mama, will you just stop.” Still cradling her arms to her chest, Quinn paced inside the small room. “He’s not okay. Look at him. He’s falling apart day by day.” A blurry image of her infallible father looked back at her. He’d been her hero growing up, her rock. But she couldn’t keep holding on to what she’d already lost.
She staved off the beginning of tears and faced her mom. “At some point, you have to stop lying to yourself.”
“Me?” Mama’s cheeks burned a fiery red. “That’s rich coming from you, dear.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know darn well what I’m talking about, and I’m not having it, Quinn Mary Beth. Not here. Not right now.” A hard breath wrenched her shoulders up as she turned.
After stealing a minute to recollect her proper southern poise, Mama returned to Dad’s bedside. “Your daddy needs you, and you’re here. That’s all that matters.”
She was right. Arguing wasn’t doing anyone favors right now. “I’m sorry.” She took Mama’s hand in hers. “Would you mind giving me a moment alone with him?”
Mama’s eyes warmed in return. “Of course. I’ll be in the waiting room if you need me.”
“Thanks.”
Once she disappeared around the doorway, Quinn took her place holding Dad’s hand and watched him breathe in an unconscious flow. How many times had she listened to that same soothing rhythm? From early years all the way through high school, she could always lay her head on his chest and know she was home. That she was safe, loved. And when he’d needed her to do the same for him, she’d run away.
Raw emotion tainted her whispered voice. “You gotta hang on for me, okay? I’ve been working hard for a promotion at work.” She swallowed, the fear of losing her chance never so prevalent. “I know it might not be where you saw me ending up, but I think you could be real proud of me if you saw what I could change as executive editor. The difference I could make.”
She rubbed a hand over his, careful to avoid the IV. “I need you to keep fighting so you can see everything’s going to work out and that I’m going to be taken care of. I know that’s what you always wanted for me, and I need you to have that peace. Dad, please, I . . .”
So much more than that, she simply needed her dad to be okay.
He stirred but didn’t wake. Even if he did, he’d always be asleep in many ways.
The ache of already losing part of him throbbed with the heart monitors as tears fought a battle she was sure to lose if she didn’t leave soon. She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you, Daddy.”
“He loves you too, you know. More than anything.”
She turned toward Chase, leaning a brawny arm into the doorframe. Not caring how long he’d been there or how much he’d overheard, she barreled straight into her brother’s embrace.
“The doc came back with the most recent X-ray. The swelling’s gone down. Looks like he’s going to make a full recovery.”
“But what if he falls again? Or he’s in his workshop with no one around and . . .” Quinn gripped his sleeve. “I can’t lose him.”
“Hey.” He lifted her back with a hand to each of her shoulders. “Look at me. Dad’s not going anywhere. And you have nothing to prove, Quinn. You hear me?”
She hung her head to the floor and smiled sadly. “You’re wrong.” She rushed through the doorway and down the hall without giving him a chance to argue.
On the other side of the waiting room, Cooper caught her in his arms. “Hey, easy. Slow down.”
When she trembled against him, he cradled her head under his chin and stroked her hair. She balled the back of his shirt in her fingers, wanting to lose herself in his tender affection. Wanting it to be real, to last.
He brought his lips to her ear and whispered, “It’s okay not to be okay.”
“But what if it’s never okay?” She untied herself from his arms. “Some things are too broken to fix, Cooper. Even for you.” Emotions beyond her control launched her out of the hospital to catch a cab. She needed to get away from there. Out of Littleton and away from a mistake she was only making worse every day she stayed.
Back at Cooper’s lake house, she got straight in her Altima, cranked the engine, and swerved into reverse. No more than five feet out of his driveway, she slammed on the brakes. The intensity she’d been carrying—the guilt and expectations, the fear and hope—crashed into her and drove her tears past their longstanding barriers.
She folded her arms over the steering wheel and dropped her head to them, letting her emotions run freely for the first time since she’d moved away. But no matter how many tears she let escape, they couldn’t tell her where in the world she was supposed to go from here.
In his kitchen, Cooper poured his third cup of coffee for the morning. If the caffeine didn’t kick in soon, working on his dock was going to be more than a little interesting.
Quinn’s bedroom door opened at the same time he entered the living room. Still in her clothes from yesterday, she lowered her cell to her side and stared at him.
“Morning.” He tipped his head.
“My mom just called.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Mm-hmm? Cooper, I can’t believe you stayed up last night to fix my parents’ back steps. After everything, I . . . I don’t know what to say.”
He set his coffee on the end table and picked up his toolbox. “Nothing to say. It needed to be done, and it wasn’t a big deal. Chase and I banged it out together.” Grabbing his coffee again, he straightened. “Not everything’s too broken to fix.”
The slightest blush tinted her cheeks as she curled her disheveled hair over one shoulder. “I’m sorry about how I acted, the things I said. It’s just . . .” She heaved a breath and slowly lifted her eyes to his. “Thank you, Cooper. For all of it. You’re really sweet.” A half smile finally found her lips. “When you’re not being ornery.”
There was the girl he missed. “Sure you didn’t used to blog on complimenting skills?”
Her long lashes fell the way they always did when he brought up her writing. Little did she know how attractive her unassuming beauty was.
Cooper swallowed the thought with another sip of coffee. “Brayden’s already been up once, but he’s napping again. Should be down for a while.”
Quinn’s pink cheeks drained of color. Wide-eyed, she clasped her forehead. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking last night. I just ran out and—”
“There’s nothing wrong with needing space, QT. Don’t worry, Brayden and I did just fine. He even has on a fresh diaper, and no, I didn’t call the neighbor.”
Her brow shot up, and he couldn’t help laughing. Catching her by surprise never got old.
When he picked up his toolbox, her gaze darted to the wall clock, and the momentary breach in tension retreated as quickly as it came.
Quinn fiddled with the corner of her blouse that’d come untucked from her skirt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep in this late.”
“You don’t have to apologize for being human.” He crossed the room and stopped in front of her. “Being tired isn’t a weakness.”
The bashful look on her face had him straining against the urge to hold her close again. That’d clearly gotten him in enough trouble last night. He backed up instead.
“There’s coffee in the kitchen.” Once across the room, he peered over his shoulder. “I left you a sticky note. In case you miss it.”
“Very funny.” She visibly fought a smile. “Don’t get too cozy outside. As soon as Brayden wakes up, I want to see those diaper changing skills firsthand.”
A round of laughter led him onto the back deck. Wherever that girl ended up after this, she’d have no problem holding her own. That he was sure about.
The unsolicited realization that she’d be moving on soon slammed into him with the day’s already-building humidity. This whole arrangement with Quinn had an expiration date from the beginning. The idea of it ending shouldn’t be getting to him now.
He polished off his coffee, leaving his mug and any unchecked feelings on the patio table, and trekked down to the dock with his tools.
An hour into replacing the boards, Cooper wiped off the sweat running into his eyes with his sleeve and sat back on his heels. Loraine had been so good to watch Brayden last night. She’d make an awesome grandma. She and Mrs. Thompson both.
He tossed his hammer in his toolbox and buried the thought. Aside from both women having their hands full with their own family members, Brayden needed more than a doting grandma.
When an incoming call flashed his lawyer’s name on his cell, Cooper reached for his phone and the hope that he’d found an answer Cooper wasn’t thinking of. “Jim, what’s the latest?”
“Like I advised you earlier, the courts are more likely to grant termination in order to facilitate adoption. You’d have a greater chance of the petition falling in your favor if you already had an adoptive family lined up.”
When Cooper didn’t respond, his lawyer went on. “But if there are no family members you can ask, we can contact the Division of Health and Human Services and connect with a caseworker.”
Pressure began to build between Cooper’s eyes, a headache on the verge of following. He dragged a hand down his face. Though he already knew the answer, the question twisting inside him came out anyway. “Will I get to be in contact with the potential parents?”
Jim didn’t respond at first. “Cooper, maybe you should take a little more time on this.”
“Time for what?”
“To decide if you want to stay in Brayden’s life or not.”
The choice burned into him with the early afternoon sun. “I don’t have time.”
“Then you better make a decision soon.” Another line beeped in the background. “I need to go, but give it some thought. We’ll touch base when you’re ready.”
What if he never would be?
He rose, raked his damp hair off his face, and cleared all traces of emotion from his voice. “What happened to your surprise trip?”
“Hello to you too.” Drew chuckled. “If it were a surprise, we’d show up without warning. Be glad I talked Ti into letting me actually plan the trip.”
Grinning despite himself, Cooper lifted a foot to the bench and hunched over his knee. “I bet she loved that idea.” His sister-in-law was the queen of spontaneity.
“I might’ve had to promise she could drive on the way home . . . and stop wherever the wind blew her.” He laughed through the line, a sound Cooper missed more than he realized. But when his niece’s sweet voice rang in the background, his heart begged him to end the call.
“Is Maddie coming too?” he managed to get out.
“You been swallowing too much lake water up there? I’m not about to stand in the way of my daughter getting to say goodbye to Uncle Coop.”
His foot slid off the edge of the bench, his voice all but tanking into the water. “You guys really don’t have to make the drive. I’ll try to be back for Christmas. There’s no need to—”
“Cooper. We’re coming. Get over it.”
He bit back a response and rotated his neck.
“No one likes goodbyes, all right, but that doesn’t mean you avoid them.”
Cooper shook his head. “You sound like Dad.”
A pause passed between them. “The man usually knew what he was talking about.”
Same way Drew did. They were so much alike. The ache of missing Dad wedged itself between his ribs. He’d give all the money in the world to have his father here again. To hear his advice. Would he be disappointed in his choices again? He had to know Cooper was trying to do what was right for everyone.
He switched the phone to his opposite ear, strolled to the end of the dock, and peered across the horizon into a decision it was past time to make. “Listen, Drew, there’s something I want to talk to you about when you’re here.”
“We’ll be there Saturday.” An audible smile filled the line. “So, don’t be staying out late with Tabitha Friday night.”
“Tabitha?”
“Tiffany, Tanya? Sorry, man, I lose track. Who are you dating right now?”
His stomach curled at the insinuation. “I haven’t been on a date in weeks.”
Again with the weighty pause.
“Really? So, who’s the girl?”
Cooper strode back to his toolbox. “What girl? I just told you—”
“That you’ve fallen for someone.”
He shoved his hammer to one side of the box. “And you talk to me about swallowing too much lake water. The salt there’s obviously getting to you, hoss. I’m moving out of the country. I’m not looking for a relationship.”
“Love doesn’t usually care whether you’re looking or not. Trust me.”
Sunlight drilled into his neck and burned with irritation. He dragged the front of his shirt over his face while pushing off the box to stand. “We’re not talking about you and Ti.”
“No one said we were. Doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love too.”
He let out a sardonic laugh. “What’s the point?” He’d either end up hurting her or getting hurt. That’s how it worked. “You’re the family man, Drew. Not me. Why do you think I’m selling this place? I don’t need anything tying me down.”
It didn’t matter that Drew was six hours away. Even over the phone, Cooper could feel the impact of the look he knew was on Drew’s face right now.
“Then you better make sure the girl you’re with knows that too.”
His words steered Cooper’s gaze up to the back of his house, and his thoughts to moments he’d spent with Quinn these last couple of weeks. Despite all the warning bells blaring in his head half the time, it was like logic disappeared when he was with her, overriding everything he’d tell himself only minutes prior.
A flicker of the For Sale sign out front flashed to mind. Steeling himself, he pulled his shoulders back. “There’s nothing going on between us.”
“Uh-huh.” A weary exhale seeped through the line. “We’ll see you Saturday, Coop.”
If he made it till then.
He tossed his phone in his toolbox and matched Drew’s heavy exhale.
He couldn’t blame Quinn if she was reading more into his actions than what he had to offer. Honestly, he was too. Ignoring it wouldn’t make it go away. Drew was right. He had to clear the air and make sure she knew where they stood before this next week ended in nothing but casualties.