Lisa booked her ticket and would be spending three days and two nights with me, including New Year’s Eve. My stomach ached, my heart thundered in my chest, and my palms grew wet against the steering wheel as I drove to the airport. I hadn’t seen her in months, and I didn’t want to get sucked in and lose myself again. I finally felt like me again, the Kayden I used to be before the ladies in my life decided to use me as a rug.

I sat near the exit and waited for her to appear through the endless line of people. I checked my watch because flight should have landed by now. Maybe she’d changed her mind and didn’t get on the plane, realizing what a clusterfuck this would turn out to be. I leaned forward in my chair while a sense of relief and calm overcame me as I stared at my feet. She wasn’t coming—I could breathe again.

Furry boots stopped in front of me, and I slowly looked up. She’d made the flight and stood before me with a giant smile on her face. She looked relaxed and happy. She looked like the girl I first met to chat with over drinks so long ago. “Hey, stranger,” she said, her eyes crinkling into little slits from the large smile on her face.

I stood up, and she wrapped her arms around my waist. She melted into my body, a feeling I knew well and a comfort that I’d been used to and felt the loss of late at night. I wrapped my arms around her and inhaled the scent of her as I held her. She buried her face in my chest and squeezed me so tight that my chest hurt. “Hey,” I said, grabbing her arms, trying to pry her off me.

“Sorry about that,” she said as she let go and wiped her eyes. “I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.” She looked me in the eyes. “I’m so sorry, Kayden.”

“Ready?” I wouldn’t say I felt happy as I stood with her in the airport. I felt more on edge than I had in months.

“Yes.”

I grabbed the bag out of her hand and started walking toward the exit. She walked quickly to catch up to me before reaching out to hold my hand. I didn’t pull away from the contact. She’d be sharing my bed for two nights. I needed to get used to it even if it made me uncomfortable.

I still felt betrayed, but I knew I’d played a role. My drinking had been a cause, as well as my inability to control my temper. I’d been just as big of an asshole as she had that night. The ride to my apartment was quiet, quieter than any time I could ever remember between us, and tension filled the air. She stroked my arm as I drove, and I felt relieved as I parked the truck in the apartment lot.

“Come on,” I said as I opened my door and climbed out of the truck. The air had grown cold after the sunset, and a gust of wind caused me to shiver as I pulled her bag out of the back of the truck.

“Shit, I’m freezing.” She wrapped her sweater around her body a little tighter as she followed behind me through the courtyard.

“It’s not bad. Not like Florida, but nowhere near as shitty as Ohio.” I unlocked the door, and found Tom in the living room.

“Tom, this is Lisa,” I said as I kicked off my shoes, and Lisa walked into the apartment.

“Hey,” Tom said, looking at Lisa with suspicion. The guy knew all about Lisa. I had spilled my guts on what she’d put me through, and they thought I was fucking crazy letting her come here. Maybe he was right.

“Hi,” she said as she looked around the apartment, judging the way we lived. I could almost see the wheels spinning in her head because she was so deep in thought.

“Want to stay out here or go in my room?” I asked.

“Room, please.” She smiled, but I could tell the joy on her face wasn’t real.

Lisa followed me to my bedroom and set her purse on the dresser. “This is it?” she asked.

“It’s all I have, remember?”

“I do. I just didn’t think… I thought you had more.”

“Lisa, I left with nothing. You have all my things. What you see is what I have to my name.”

“I never thought of it that way. I’m sorry.” She wrapped her arms around me. “Are you okay?” Where did this tender, caring Lisa come from?

“I’m fine, Lisa. I’ve been happy and have all I need.”

“Can’t we try again?” I could feel her heartbeat against my chest.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. We’d just end in disaster again.”

She moved away from me and sat on the bed, looking like she’d just lost her best friend. “I know… You’re right. Can we just enjoy these few days? Like old times.” My version of old times had to be different than hers. Enjoy wasn’t a term I’d use to describe our last few months together—more like torture. It went both ways, and we fed off each other.

“Can you at least send me my clothes or something?” I asked as I sat down next to her.

“I brought a couple things with me.” She kneeled down on the floor and pulled out a couple sweaters. They weren’t much, but in that moment, they felt like everything to me. She handed them to me, and I placed them on the bed. I reached out and helped her off the floor.

“Thank you, Lisa.” I squeezed her hands and pulled her into me. She crawled into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I didn’t pull away or stop her. Lisa always made my cock hard.

We weren’t only explosive in our fights, but our fucking usually reached radioactive levels. I grabbed her face and kissed her lips, drawing my tongue across her bottom lip. My cock twitched as she shifted on my lap and pressed her body weight against me, and I fell backward into the mattress. I ran my fingers through her hair and grabbed it in my fist, pulling her face to mine.

I didn’t love Lisa anymore. She’d done more harm to me than any woman in my past. Danielle and Bridget left me, but Lisa… Lisa ripped my heart out and danced on it. The phrase “there’s a thin line between love and hate” fit the moment perfectly. I was so pissed and turned on at the same time. I needed to fuck her and use my cock to take my anger out on her. I’ve never hit a woman except when asked during sex, and I knew she’d ask for it. She always did. I’d think of this as therapy to rid myself of the Lisa problem forever and move forward with my life.

I increased my grip on her hair, pulling it away from her head. I thrust my tongue into her mouth and moved it across her smooth tongue, tangling them together. She tasted just as I remembered. I devoured her mouth, sucked the breath out of her, and captured her moans. I deepened the kiss, demanding everything she had to offer.

I reached down and grabbed her sweater, lifting it over her head. I unclasped her bra and removed the straps from her shoulders as I kissed her. My fingers danced across her skin, relishing in the softness and the curves I knew by heart. I gripped her ass, grinding my erection into her as a gasp escaped her lips. “I’ve missed your cock. I want you so bad.”

She sat up, putting pressure on my cock, and helped me remove my shirt. I never thought I’d be in this spot again. She unbuttoned and unzipped my pants with quick fingers. I did the same to her before pushing them down her hips and waiting for her to remove them. She had a pretty pink G-string underneath with her neatly trimmed blond hair peeking through the lace. I lifted my hips and let her pull my pants down as she moved with them down my legs. My cock sprang free and bounced, hitting my stomach. She climbed off the bed and took both of our jeans with her, depositing them on the floor. She crawled up my legs like a tiger staring at me as if I were a meal after a fast. The hair on my body stood up at the sensation or the déjà vu of seeing her on my body again.

She stopped at my cock and ran her nails up the length. It twitched, calling for more attention, preferably from her mouth. She knew I loved the feel of her lips wrapped around my cock. She ran her tongue around my balls and up the sensitive skin of my cock, latching on to the sensitive tip. She drew it into her mouth without the use of her hands. I watched her ass as her body moved up and down, taking me fully, swallowing me whole. I lay there and took everything she gave—I was greedy and felt no remorse. It wasn’t enough for me. I needed more and wanted to possess her. I needed the lust and passion, and my hands wrapped around her.

I grabbed her arms, pulling her toward me, needing to be in control and wanting to bury myself deep. I reached down and grabbed her panties, twisting them in my fist from the side. I pulled quickly, hearing the snap of the cloth as it ripped from her flesh. I lifted her by her hips, setting her on the bed next to me, and rolled on top of her, nestling between her legs. I held my cock in my hand as I poked her opening. I didn’t give a fuck if she was ready for me or not. I was ready, and she wasn’t protesting. I inserted the tip before withdrawing my hand and gripping her ass, tilting her upwards. I jammed my cock into her, causing her body to move slightly across the bed. I moved my arm from her side to under her back and secured her in place.

I pumped and thrust, taking out all my anger and frustration on her pussy. She moaned and screamed, not giving a fuck who heard in the next room. I knew she wouldn’t last long as her pussy clamped down on my cock. I left my cock buried inside of her as I adjusted myself to a sitting position. I grabbed a pillow from the bed and placed it under her ass, giving me an angle and freeing my hands. I bent her legs, placing them between her body and mine.

I leaned against her shins, my body hovering above her. I wrapped my hands around her neck as I increased my speed and depth. I pressed down on the arteries in her neck, decreasing the blood flow to her brain. She wrapped her arms around my wrist and held my hands to her neck. Lisa loved to be choked when she came. It heightened the sensation and increased the intensity.

I became lost in the moment as I watched her face turn red while my hands were wrapped around her neck. Her eyes began to glisten, and my thrusting turned angry and unrelenting. I squeezed and pumped until I felt her body tighten, and her pussy convulsed around me. The sight of her in my grip, vulnerable to me and my ability to end her life in a second made my spine tingle. It tipped me over the edge, sending shockwaves through my body.

I released my hands, and she began to gasp and cough, gulping air and trying to catch her breath. I watched as the redness drained from her face, leaving a soft pink glow. “Just how you wanted it?”

“You scared me a little,” she coughed. “I didn’t think you were going to let go.”

“I almost didn’t. I could have ended you right there.”

“I knew you wouldn’t, Kayden. You love me too much to hurt me.”

“Past tense.”

“What?” She ran her hand across her face and settled it on her neck, rubbing the now sensitive pink skin. “I almost blacked out.”

“I loved you too much to hurt you before, but it was a temptation I had to fight.” Her eyes grew huge as she stared at me. “You’re lucky I have self-control, Lisa. I almost got lost in the moment.”

Flopping on my back, I tried to steady my breath. She rolled over and snuggled into my side underneath my arm. “I know you love me. Deny it all you want. I’m part of you.”

“Lie to yourself all you want, Lisa.” The room became silent, with only the sounds from the living room television filling the air. She rubbed her cheek against my chest before settling in and getting comfortable. I would have wrapped her up and enveloped her with my body if we were still a couple. But instead, I let her lay against me as I enjoyed the warmth and thought about my future.

My orgasm wasn’t only a release of pent-up sexual tension between us, it was a release of the anger and hurt she’d caused. I knew I could move forward, leave her behind, and make a life I wanted. Free of relationships and filled with sex.

We spent New Year’s Eve day walking around the Quarter. I showed Lisa as much of the city as I could since it was fairly new to me. The city buzzed as preparations for that night’s celebration were being completed. The Fleur de Lis sat atop a pole on Decatur Street, waiting for the clock to strike midnight. I’d made dinner reservations at a beautiful restaurant just outside the Riverwalk for us to talk before heading into the hordes of people celebrating in Jackson Square.

We placed our dinner order, and there was an uncomfortable pause in the conversation. As we’d walked around, we talked about the city, but sitting here at the table with her, there was a tension between us. “Kayden,” Lisa said.

“Yeah?” I sipped on my beer and waited for her to comment about my drinking. Why would today be any different than before?

“Since you’ve left, it’s been hard for me to make the bills each month. I spent all the money I had on the plane ticket.” She fidgeted with the napkin on the table. “Could you help me out?”

“You already get a couple hundred dollars from me each month.” I stared at her. Since I left? What the fuck? She seemed to be rewriting history. Maybe it made her feel better to think it was my choice instead of her forcing it on me.

“I know, but it’s not enough. Christmas wiped me out this year, and I need some help,” she begged. “Please.”

One thing Lisa always liked was money. She liked to live above her means, and her five-finger discounts helped her achieve that with her mediocre pay as a receptionist. “Fine, Lisa. I’ll give you five hundred dollars and the cash for your ticket.” I already owed her thousands, what was a couple hundred dollars more? “If you promise to send me my things, Lisa.” I wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but she said she’d send me some things from her home. I’d look at it as payment. If I didn’t give her the cash, I’d likely see nothing. Everything had a price when it came to her.

“Thank you, baby,” she said.

I held up my hand. “Lisa, I’m not your baby. We’re through in that way, forever.”

“Don’t you feel what we have? Being with you reminded me how much I love you. How much I need you in my life.”

“I know what we had. There’s too much damage,” I said.

She pouted in her chair, and I watched her as she flipped her phone over as if checking for something. Her phone hadn’t beeped all day. Lisa always had text messages, and her phone was more like a musical instrument with all of the alerts. But since she’d arrived, it hadn’t made a sound. “Expecting a call?” I asked as I watched her place it facedown on the table.

“No, just wanted to make sure I hadn’t missed one. So, this is it? Once I leave… We’re officially over?”

“Yes.” I didn’t have more to say to her. I never asked her here on the pretense that we’d get back together and have our happily ever after.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you. Maybe you’ll change your mind once reality sets in.”

Thankfully, our meal arrived. We could eat in silence, and I didn’t feel the need to continue the conversation. She could wait for an eternity, but I wouldn’t return to her. Reality? It had set in. I had no one in this world to depend on except me. Women freely offered themselves and asked for nothing in return. No funds exchanged hands. No expectations or rules to contend with—reality had been pretty fucking great since coming to New Orleans.

We joined the crowd on Decatur around eleven to enjoy the music and start the countdown. Lisa disappeared for a few minutes to use the ladies’ room, and I was thankful for the break. I saw an ATM nearby and grabbed the money that I’d promised her. I thought of it as a going-away present. I couldn’t wait for her to go home tomorrow. I should’ve told her no when she asked to come and see me. In twelve hours, I’d put her ass on a plane and fly her out of my life.

Arms wrapped around my body as I stared at the Fleur de Lis and thought about all of the possibilities that lay ahead of me. I pulled her fingers apart and turned to face her. “Don’t.”

“God, you’re such a killjoy at times,” she said with her mouth in a hard line.

“Here’s your cash you asked for.” I handed her the money and watched her count it. Such an odd reaction, like I’d short her. “I’m going to grab a beer, want one?”

“You need a drink?”

Ah, there she was—the one who questioned all my actions. “I want one. There’s a difference.” Carts were set up along the square, and I needed something besides her body to keep me warm.

“Still a drunk, I see.”

She had her money, and her attitude had shifted suddenly. “Have I been drunk in the last twenty-four hours? I’ve had one fucking drink.”

“One turns into five, always does.” Her arms were folded in front of her, and she looked like she was ready for a fight… One that I didn’t feel like having.

“I wondered when the real you would show up.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” She glared at me.

I shook my head. “I’m cold as fuck out here. It’s New Year’s Eve, and I want a drink. Immediately, you jump to the conclusion that I’m going to get shit-faced, Lisa. I hand you some money, and instantly, the claws come out.”

“Okay, let’s not fight. I want to enjoy my last couple hours here in New Orleans.” She wrapped her scarf around her neck and rubbed her mittens together.

“Fine, I’m still getting my beer. Would you like one, yes or no?” I stood there waiting for her answer.

“I need something stronger.”

“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” I walked away from her, thankful for the freedom. She had always been so judgmental about my drinking, and it drove me further into the bottle. I watched her as I waited in line at a cart selling mixed drinks and beer. She typed on her phone and looked around, unable to see me in the crowd. She looked nervous as I watched her eyes move and scan the crowd.

“What would you like, sugar?” a voice asked and pulled my attention away from her.

“I’ll take a large beer and hmm…a Hand Grenade, please.” Lisa wasn’t much of a drinker. A Hand Grenade would have her head spinning. I’d possibly fuck the shit out of her one more time before I sent her shitty ass on her way.

“Fifteen dollars, handsome.” I handed the woman the cash with a nice holiday tip included and stood there watching Lisa for a minute. She feverishly typed something, still looking around like a kid doing something quickly before possibly being caught by a parent.

I walked toward her with the drinks and watched her demeanor change as I approached. She placed her phone in her pocket and smiled at me. “What is this?” she asked as she grabbed the bright green plastic container from my hand.

“Hand Grenade—don’t worry, it’s not strong. Mostly fruit juices, you’ll like it.” I knew it would knock her on her ass. I lied to her and didn’t feel bad about it at all.

She sipped the liquid through the straw and smiled. “This is great, thanks.”

“Did I interrupt you?”

“Huh?” She had a look of surprise on her face.

“Your phone.”

“Oh, no. I was just checking to see if I had any messages.” She sipped again and fidgeted a little. I knew bullshit when I saw it.

“Looked like more than that.” I eyed her, watching her reaction carefully.

“Nope.” She turned around, so I couldn’t read her face.

I wouldn’t press her any further. I’d wait for the drink to work its magic. I checked my watch and thanked the gods when I realized midnight was only ten minutes away. I felt like I was counting down the minutes until my release from prison. In a way, I was. Lisa’s presence had started to feel like a stint in solitary confinement.

Lisa finished her drink right before midnight. Her body swayed as she shouted out the last couple of seconds in the countdown, following the lead of the crowd. I stood there silently and watched the world celebrate the coming new year.

“Happy New Year’s, Kayden,” she said as she hiccupped.

“You too, Lisa.” I smiled at her. I had plans for this year, and they didn’t include her. My year began with saying good-bye to my past and wiping the slate clean.

She leaned forward on her tippy-toes to kiss me, but I turned my face and gave her my cheek. “Can I kiss your lips?” she asked in my ear.

“No, not tonight,” I said. Lisa’s eyes were dilated, and the look on her face told me that the alcohol had done the trick.

We stayed in the Square for another hour and celebrated with the crowd. A band played, and people began to leave and filter into the French Quarter. I wanted to go home and crawl into bed. Sleep would help the hours pass quicker.

I knew by her actions that there was someone else in her life that evening. I knew I was being played and that she only wanted money. She enjoyed a free trip to New Orleans and left with a pocketful of cash. You don’t go through two relationships ending in infidelity and not know the signs. She may have been honest when she said she wanted to get back together, but her devious actions and hiding her phone told me she had an ulterior motive. Lisa was a user and always would be. I may have been a drunk, but I never used her for anything, ever.

That night, she passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow. I pushed her to the edge of the bed as far away from me as possible. I didn’t want her sleeping against me. I set my phone alarm for eight o’clock since her flight would take off around eleven. That left only three hours for her to get ready and make it to the airport. No time for sex, fighting, or anything. I just wanted to say good-bye.

I drove her to the airport and stopped the truck outside Departures. “Aren’t you going to walk me in?” she asked.

“Why would I?” I leaned against the driver’s door with my hand on the steering wheel and stared at her.

“’Cause you’re supposed to. How can we say good-bye in your beat-up truck?”

“It’s easy… Bye,” I said curtly.

She rolled her eyes. “That’s it, huh? No hug, kiss, or I love you?”

“No, Lisa. I told you we weren’t getting back together. We’re over, and it’s time for you to go before you miss your flight.” I pushed the door lock button to make sure she could open her door without a problem and maybe to give her a hint that it was time to hit the road.

“I see you’re still an asshole, Kayden.”

“Good-bye, Lisa. I’ll send the payments to the probation department each month but nothing extra. Don’t call me again for money.”

“I didn’t call you for money. I wanted to see you. I wanted to try us again.”

“There is no us, babe. You got what you came for and maybe something extra. Go back to your boyfriend.”

She squinted at me, her eyes throwing daggers in my direction. “Just make sure that check is there on time. I’d hate for you to violate your probation and be arrested again.”

“It’ll be there. You can bet your ass I’m not spending another night in jail because of you. You’re going to miss your flight.” I looked at my watch, not wanting to spend another minute trapped in a small space with her.

She opened the door, crawled out, and slammed it behind her. I pulled away and didn’t look back. She was out of my life. I wouldn’t be free of her until my debt was paid in full, but I’d take my sweet-ass time doing it.

Lisa never shipped a thing to me as she’d promised. I knew her offer was too good to be true. She’d dangled a prize in front of my eyes, and like a fool, I reached for it and gave her the cash she asked for. I could’ve easily filled my closet with five hundred dollars in clothing, but I wanted my things—lesson learned. I always seemed to learn the hard way. Lisa was out of my life, and I could move on. The ladies of New Orleans needed me, wanted me, and I was in the mood to share.