Chapter 5
The next evening, the knock on her door made Audra’s nerve endings pop, sparking fires on the surface of her skin. He was here. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. He was early.
But she was ready, because she hadn’t known what else to do but prepare for a night out at a biker bar. In the mirror on the closet door, she took a quick assessment. Dark wash jeans. Black, strappy sandals. A black floral chiffon top with full sleeves, the narrow tie at the neckline hanging loose, allowing the fabric at times to slide over her shoulder. Audra Montgomery usually eschewed displaying lingerie in any way, but tonight she wouldn’t concern herself that her bra strap peeked out on occasion.
It was lace. Not black lace, but an innocent blush pink that matched the roses printed on the dark blouse.
She bit her lip, having second, third, and fourth thoughts.
Knuckles sounded once again on wood.
Being a pleaser meant she couldn’t keep the man waiting any longer, so she made for the door, pulled it open.
It wasn’t the man she’d expected. “Con!” she said, aware relief threaded her voice.
Her brother must have heard it too, because he gave her a sharp look as he strode over the threshold on those long legs of his. Brawny shoulders made the spacious bungalow seem smaller.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Same question for you,” she said. “I haven’t seen you or heard from you in a few days. I thought maybe you’d left the resort.”
His gaze swept the room. “You opened the drapes,” he said. “Good.”
It wasn’t yet dark, and the early evening light warmed the room with a pink and gold wash of sunset color. “I told you I just needed some time. You, Mom, Dad…thanks for everyone’s concern but it’s only a matter of time and a little, uh, fresh air.”
And accomplishing some of those items on List 1. Maybe even List 2, if she could find a way to do that.
Con’s eyes swung back to her. “Fresh air?”
Tonight was about List 1, of course, the paper that Kane Hathaway had scooped up and scrutinized. List 2 was even more private and personal and not meant for anyone to see but her.
Con continued to study her face. “Why does ‘fresh air’ sound like code for something entirely different?”
She frowned at him. “Because you’re a guy and everything sounds like a sex act to you.”
“Who said anything about sex?” Con questioned, his voice mild. “Oh, that would be you.”
“Never mind,” she snapped, and slipped her phone from her pocket to take a look at the time. Kane was two minutes late. Maybe he wasn’t coming. Maybe she’d have the reprieve she’d been hoping for all day long.
That whoosh in her stomach at the idea had nothing to do with disappointment.
And if she did feel disappointment, it was only because she wasn’t going to be putting a line through one of the items on her list tonight, unless…
“What are you up to, Con?” She gave him her most wheedling smile. “Want to head out with me, get something to drink, eat?”
“Uh…” He practically shuffled his feet in discomfort. “Look, Audie.”
Her eyebrows rose. Since when did Con display an iota of awkwardness? “Okay, what are you trying to hide from me?” she demanded.
His hands shoved into his pockets. “I just have plans, is all.” His voice lowered. “For like the next sixty years,” he muttered.
“What?”
But her question was drowned out by a preemptory knock on her door. Con strode for it, in what looked like an attempt at escape.
“Hey—” she protested, but he’d already let Kane, Kane Hathaway, inside. Her breath caught. It wasn’t that he looked so different than Kane “Maintenance Man” Jones, not in jeans, a chambray shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, and a pair of boots on his feet, it’s just that now she noticed the high quality of the leather of those boots and the expensive gleam of the steel watch wrapping his wrist.
They’d been in his truck the night before, but she had to wonder if he possessed another vehicle too, something sleek and fast that would have underscored how very out of her league the man was. She didn’t drive a stick and had never received a single moving violation—which struck her now as on-the-nose symbolic.
God, life in the slow lane had never gotten her anywhere.
Con was introducing himself to Kane and they shook hands while looking each other over like two aggressive male animals checking out the competition to be alpha of the pack.
Audra rolled her eyes. “Stand down, boys.”
Her brother turned to her. “What’s he doing here?” he asked, nodding toward Kane.
“Taking your sister out for a meal. Maybe some dancing,” Kane answered for himself.
Audra suddenly realized that Con would never have made a good substitute for Kane in achieving the evening’s objective. She couldn’t imagine her brother handing her over to dance with some rough-looking guy in a rough-looking bar. Kane, on the other hand, seemed perfectly willing to aid in, if somewhat amused by, her ambition.
“Out for a meal?” Con was nearly growling. “Dancing?”
Uh-oh. She didn’t know if her brother would be happy handing her off to the man he’d just met.
Straightening her spine, she cleared her throat. “Con—”
His hand came up and he slid his phone from his pocket. His expression went from suspicious to something else—alert? energized?—and then he tucked the device away and said, “I’ve got to go, Audie.”
She stared at him. “Uh, okay. Is there anything I can help you with?”
One quick shake of his head and then a half-smile curved his mouth. “I’ve got this.” Then he glanced at Kane. “But—”
“I’ve got this,” she told her brother, echoing his assurance. “Really. It’s all good.”
One short hesitation and then he was gone, leaving Audra and Kane to stare after him and then at each other. The man’s gaze slid away from her face, down her body and then back up again.
Her exposed bra strap seemed to burn the skin of her shoulder and that heat crawled higher. She swallowed. “Am I dressed okay?”
“To dance with a sweaty biker?” Kane asked. “He should be so lucky.”
She made a face. “I told you, he doesn’t have to be sweaty. It doesn’t say that on the list!”
“He’s going to be sweaty,” Kane said, with an affirming nod.
Audra lifted her arms to her sides. “I don’t get you.”
He gave her an enigmatic look. “That’s right. And you won’t, if I keep up with my end of the bargain.”
Now she was lost. “What bargain?”
“The one I made with myself,” he said, and gestured her toward the door. “Let’s go, biker-babe. Time to let you out of your cage.”
Forty minutes later, they walked into Running Spring Tavern, in the mountains above the city. It had been an old stagecoach stop originally, Kane explained during the drive in his truck, and had been a favorite stopping place for bikers and others since the 1940s.
The outside was rustic, the inside too, with paneled walls and a bear’s hide nailed to one wall. An L-shaped bar dominated the space, but there were tables and chairs and a dance floor beside a low stage. Tonight it was filled with musical equipment.
“It’s a good band that’s scheduled,” Kane told her as they took seats at the sparsely populated bar. “This place will be hopping in an hour.” He ordered them each beers from the female bartender who wore a Harley-Davidson tank top and jeans so tight they seemed to split her in two from behind.
She caught Kane looking. The man felt her glance, and then grinned at her raised eyebrow. “What? You’re getting a biker tonight, so I get to have something, don’t you think? Even if it’s eye candy.”
Her brows flew up. “I’m not getting a biker.”
He shrugged. “You can, if you want. We can figure out a signal if you’d like to go home with somebody else. Or, if you’re just going to disappear into the parking lot for a while.”
Audra’s cheeks went hot. “I’m not…I wouldn’t…”
Kane shrugged again. “No more Goody Two-Shoes, right?”
Her open mouth closed on another round of protest. Did she want to do that? Not just dance, but have an experience with a total stranger? Or…what about with someone who wasn’t totally unfamiliar?
Sometimes you have to settle for the next best thing.
As the beers were slid in front of them, Audra risked a sidelong glance at Kane. So, the man would tempt a nun. But he was no saint, and the idea of leaving with him tonight, not to go back to her bungalow alone, but to work on some of the items on List 2…the thought stole the spit from her mouth.
She sipped at her beer and told herself to forget about it. She’d never have the courage to tell Kane Hathaway what she wanted and what she’d never had.
Maybe sensing the change to her mood, he swiveled on his stool to look at her. “What’s with the sigh?”
“You shouldn’t have told me your last name,” she said. Perhaps she’d be more comfortable with Kane Jones, maintenance man. Though she’d been just as struck physically by that guy as the one beside her now. Focusing on her beer, she tried ignoring the body heat coming off of him. His normal temperature was feverish, she decided. Hot.
He was so hawt hot.
“Remember?” he said. “Someone called out my name at the restaurant. I actually didn’t tell you.”
The reminder made her hackles rise. It was safer to be irritated by him than aroused. She shot him a look. “Why did you keep who you are a secret?”
“It wasn’t intentional, not at first. I grabbed the…jumpsuit,” he said, bumping her with a friendly elbow. “I forgot about the name on it until you said it.”
“After that.” She rubbed at the spot on her torso that prickled with goose bumps. Even his elbows had special power over her. “You could have corrected me then or the next day. Hey—” she lowered her voice in some semblance of his “—I’m actually the general manager of this resort. One of the Hathaway Hathaways.”
He frowned into his beer. “It doesn’t matter why I didn’t say.”
“You were laughing at me? You found it fun to fool the jilted bride?”
“Fuck,” he said, his head whipping toward her. “It had nothing to do with you.”
She blinked at the burn behind her eyes. Stupid, stupid, but she didn’t want Kane Hathaway or Kane Jones or Kane Whatever to find her a point of amusement. Blame her fragile ego—and who could condemn her for that? Left at the altar had hurt, had made her feel small—and she didn’t want this man, this man in particular, to enjoy a joke at her expense.
“Audra,” Kane said now, his voice low. Intimate.
She stared into her glass, because she didn’t want him to see the upset in her eyes.
“Baby.” His palm ran over the back of her hair, then settled at her nape. He squeezed a little. “Look at me?”
It was imperative to do so, if only so he wouldn’t guess what his hand on her was doing to her body. Her blood ran hot and fast beneath her skin and the sensation of his fingers on her, even over her hair, made her want to tremble. She steeled her muscles against the urge to quiver beneath his touch.
Turning her head, she stared just left of his eyes.
“Look at me.”
The commanding tone made her quiver despite her best efforts not to. She forced her gaze to his and saw the concern in his expression. “That subterfuge was all about me,” he said, then his lips curved in a self-deprecating smile. “People will tell you that’s my natural state—being all about me.”
“Kane—”
“Sh.” Two fingers from his other hand pressed her lips. They’d been curled around his beer and they felt cold against the heated, now tingling flesh of her mouth. “Being your Kane—that other Kane—was a small escape from some things that have been preying on my mind.”
Her Kane. The idea created a warm pool in her belly. “What things are preying on your mind?”
“Nothing important.”
“But—”
“No,” Kane said, leaning close. “Tonight is about you. About what you want.”
And Audra couldn’t stop the traitorous thought bubbling up as she breathed in the scent of him, citrus and spice. What if what I want tonight is you?
Kane handed Audra a laminated menu and suggested they order dinner before the rush. Already the front door was getting a workout, patrons steadily streaming in. “The bar food is good.”
They made their selections and Audra picked up her beer as the bartender moved in the direction of the kitchen. “You seem quite familiar with this place.”
He glanced around, noting the latest arrivals in their leather vests and motorcycle boots. The tavern wasn’t the elegant lobby bar at The Hathaway, but it was miles above some of the seedier joints he could have taken her to in the city. “The region’s pretty small. And I’ve lived here my whole life.”
Within minutes, a basket of fish and chips was plopped in front of her, burger and fries in the same sort of red plastic for him. She made an appreciative sound as she took her first bite, then looked at him, clearly struck by a new thought. “I didn’t put it together until now…you must know Alec. Alec Thatcher. Lilly says he’s related to the Hathaways.”
Kane grunted, still chewing, then washed his food down with a sip of beer. “Alec’s my second cousin on my mother’s side. It might not sound like a close connection, but we spent a lot of time together growing up.”
“In Santa Barbara?”
“And other places. Alec’s parents included my sisters and me often—ski weekends, trips to Hawaii, holiday weekends at their house in LA.”
“Lilly couldn’t say enough nice things about them.”
“There aren’t enough nice things in the world to say about them. They gave me and my siblings so much kind attention…attention we didn’t get from our parents.”
“Oh?”
He shrugged. “They’re the type of people who shouldn’t have kids. They didn’t want to put time into it—into us. We don’t have much to do with them now, either.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Amber and Jessie—those are my sisters—still try to reach out.”
“But not you?”
“Not me.” Perhaps because he was as selfish as they were.
She made a sound and he checked out her expression in the mirror over the bar. “What’s that sad face for?” he asked. “You’re supposed to be in the mood for fun tonight.”
Now it was her turn to shrug and he sighed. “Audra, cheer up. Nobody beat us. We had plenty of food and access to great educations and opportunities. Uncle Vic and Aunt Miranda—Alec’s parents—for surrogate fathering and mothering.”
“Okay.” She took another bite. “One last question of a personal nature.”
He gave her a look. “I was fifteen. At midnight. A beach access road at the rear of the resort.”
Her eyes rounded, and she leaned close, her cheeks pink as she fiercely whispered, “I wasn’t going to ask you when you first had sex.”
“Geez, dirty mind,” he said, biting back a smile. “That’s the first time I drove a car.”
She narrowed her gaze to shards of icy blue. “You think you’re so funny.”
He laughed, maybe the first time since staring down thirty-one. “What’s your question, baby?” Baby. God, he needed to stop doing that.
Audra didn’t appear to notice, just studied him over the rim of her beer. “Do you think Alec and Lilly will last?”
The hopeful expression on her lovely face told him she wanted to believe it would. Kane hesitated. At one time, his cousin’s reputation as an unrepentant player had rivaled Kane’s own. But Alec had changed, or slowed down, while Kane continued on, never able to settle.
Never willing to consider settling, because he couldn’t imagine one woman satisfying him for a lifetime.
His cousin’s voice echoed in his head. You know, that makes you sound like an asshole. Seriously.
And then another voice. I curse you to be alone the rest of your life. But really, it’s just icing, because your egocentricity means that will be the case anyway.
Wasn’t his aloofness just sparing some nice girl unhappiness when she realized he’d never give her everything she wanted?
“Kane?” Audra prompted now. “Alec?”
“Yeah, Alec.” Kane was definitely an asshole because he’d turned her question about his cousin into an introspection starring himself. “I think…I think…” Swiveling on his stool to face Audra, he stared at her, arrested all over again by her delicate beauty and the openness of her expression. Still such a romantic, he could see, even though her own dreams had been dashed.
“You think…” she prompted again.
“It’s real for them,” he said, surprising himself. “Clearly the spark is there when you’re around the two of them, that’s physical, but there’s more. Alec decided Lilly was the one and I’ve never seen him so determined. It’s going to be good.”
The brightness of the smile overtaking Audra’s face made him blink. The heat of it seemed to blaze in his chest and he stilled when her hand reached out to squeeze his. “Thank you. You’ve made me happy.”
Fuck, but he suddenly wanted to do that, over and over. Make Audra Montgomery happy.
Nobody was less suited for it.
I curse you to be alone the rest of your life. But really, it’s just icing, because your egocentricity means that will be the case anyway.
Kane slid his hand from beneath hers. “You’d better put a couple of stools between us,” he said.
Her smile fell. “What?”
He steeled himself against the sharp ache to take her into his arms, his lap, away with him for a long night of happy-making in his bed. “We don’t want any of these bikers to think that we’re together.”
Leaving the rest of her meal untouched, she immediately moved down the bar without a word to him. She took her beer, though, then he watched her order another, sipping it steadily as she watched the band take their places on the stage.
A different bartender approached Kane just as the music began, a country-rock tune. “Hey, Hathaway,” she said, over the twanging notes. “It’s been a while.”
It took him a moment. “Bianca.” Bianca Jimenez, who was a buxom brunette a couple of years older than he was. She’d gone to the public high school, while he’d attended the private one in Montecito, but eventually all teens in the area ended up hanging at East Beach, playing volleyball, watching volleyball, watching each other. “How are you?”
“Great.” Her hair hung in dark glossy waves that she flipped to her back. “Now that I’m divorced.”
“Ah.”
“Married a jerk,” she said matter-of-factly. “Promised me the moon and gave me green cheese instead. He cheated on me during the marriage and fathered two kids with two different women.”
In the past Kane might have chuckled at her description of her husband’s promises, but now her comments just made him feel…unsettled. Or sad. “Did you have any children of your own?”
“No, which is for the best, I see now.”
He nodded.
“Can I get you something else?” Bianca asked. “Another beer?”
“Sure.”
In seconds she brought it to him, then lingered again. “You feel like going out some time?” she asked.
He hesitated.
“These days I’m in it only for laughs, how about you?”
“I…” His gaze caught on movement in the mirror beyond her, the reflection of pale hair swinging out in an arc. He whipped his head over his shoulder to see Audra on the dance floor, her slenderness in the embrace of a man with a full beard and a shaved head. Kane’s gut clenched and he fisted his hands on his thigh to keep from leaping out there and pulling her away from the biker.
Because he definitely was one, complete with a bristling set of keys hooked to his belt loop. Just what she wanted, he told himself.
He half-turned though, to keep an eye on her. Bianca said something he couldn’t hear over the music—or maybe the new noise in his head justwhatshewanted justwhatshewanted drowned it out. She laughed and wandered down the bar.
Perhaps he should have taken the brunette up on her offer. Just for laughs was all he wanted too. But he’d consider the possibility later, when he didn’t need to give all his attention to Audra. When he wasn’t consumed by this fucking stupid jealousy that burned in his gut at seeing another man’s hand touching her perfect body, another man staring into her crystal-blue eyes.
She was flushed, laughing, and when he spun her toward the center of the dance floor, her beautiful hair arced out again, like a splash of sunlight in the dim space. Breathing deeply, Kane dug his fingernails into his palms.
Maybe it wasn’t jealousy. He’d never experienced the green monster, not in his life, because he’d never coveted anyone’s company. He didn’t covet Audra’s did he? Perhaps it was the burger or he was coming down with something—that damn flu going around.
But he didn’t feel as if he was going to vomit, he felt like he was going to lose control and march onto that dance floor and take—
Nothing. He was going to sit still and wait. Watch. Let her follow her wishes.
The Beard wasn’t the only man she danced with, and Kane gave them each a name. Belt Buckle—obviously overcompensation—and Bad Flannel—horrible plaid shirt—also took her for a spin. But The Beard seemed the favored choice and at one point she sashayed up to the bar to grab her beer and bring it back to the man’s table.
Kane tried to catch her eye, but she avoided him and seemed to flounce on her return to The Beard. So he stared at her ass, appreciating each twitch and decided it served her right for that little display of temper.
She was mad at him.
Well, he was mad at her, too.
Because…why?
He threw metaphorical cold water on himself and sat, stony, as she continued to exhibit signs of having the time of her life. Good for her.
How much time passed, he couldn’t say, but she added Red Bandanna and Droopy Mustache to her dance card. She drank a third beer.
Not that Kane was counting.
Finally, he noticed her in intense conversation with The Beard, even as she snuck a few looks at Kane. They should have come up with that signal he’d mentioned. He’d eat his kayak if that biker wasn’t angling for some alone time with the ethereal blonde.
When she got up and headed toward him he knew he was right.
Faking a calm he should feel, he sipped at his beer and let her make the opening salvo. Stopping in front of him, she licked her lips. “So…” Her gaze sought her feet.
He broke the awkward silence, unable to extend her discomfort. “Hey, glad to see you’re enjoying yourself. You heading out?” Panic iced his gut as he thought about what to do if she said yes. Insist on taking a photo of the guy’s ID? Insist on going along? Insist she be manacled to Kane’s side?
“We’re thinking about going to another bar Deuce knows of.”
“Right.” As she hesitated, he gave her a sharper look. “Is that what you want to do?”
“Uh…” She glanced over her shoulder. “Yes?”
Fuck. He was no expert at figuring out women, but something wasn’t sitting right with him. “You danced with your sweaty biker. That’s enough anti-Goody progress for one night.”
She bit her lip, clearly uncertain.
“Or not, baby. Whatever you want.” Baby again, man, he was so fucked.
“Deuce seems very nice.” Her hands slicked down the sides of her jeans. “It’s just a short trip to another bar.”
“Sure.” Then Kane reached into his pocket, so fucking calm. “But take this, in case.” He pressed the foil packet into her palm.
She stared at the condom.
Kane didn’t know what to think when her fingers closed over it. Then she turned and walked back toward The Beard—or Deuce. Good God, of course he called himself Deuce.
But it’s just what she wants, Kane reminded himself. Dance with a biker had always been a euphemism, he’d known that. It’s why he’d flashed the fucking condom, after all.
The Beard and his crew rose from their table. Kane expected them to head for the door, Audra in tow, but instead they parted ways. The bikers left. The blonde headed for the bathroom.
A few minutes later she was at Kane’s side again, and she hopped onto the stool that had been hers at first. The one beside him.
Her hand slid the condom packet in his direction. He pocketed it without a word.
“Thank you,” she said. “I…I owe you.”
“You do,” he said, his voice grim because he despised the relief flooding him. “And payback starts tomorrow, ten a.m.”
He had someplace to go the next day, and with that list burning a hole in her metaphorical pocket, she was a danger to herself and others. Okay, maybe herself and him, but no way was he leaving her alone.