The next several months were great. Birdie had wrapped up her case at Fleishman and had moved on to eleven different jobs in the meantime. She’d had to stay in Boston for a week, Dallas for four days and Minneapolis for three. But it worked. She got her much-needed space and I got a happy girlfriend when she came back. Win-win.

My divorce had been settled in April with no speed bumps to speak of, and come to find out, Sonya actually was pregnant and due in September. She and Tech Guy had gotten married just after the divorce was finalized so my alimony payments stopped along with the insurance coverage. To be honest, I’d felt a bit of sadness that that chapter in my life was now closed but I knew better things were coming.

Looking now at my gorgeous girl curled up next to me on the couch asleep, I smiled. It was now the first week of May, the lease to her apartment would expire at the end of this month, and we’d talked about her moving in with me. I could see she was still leery over losing her own space, but I’d promised she could have the den all to herself which I think might’ve sealed the deal.

But I was still worried.

I’d been having training sessions once a month since January with Mr. Harford for the COO job it’d now been decided would open the first of June.

And I still hadn’t told Birdie.

Mr. Hartford told me he wasn’t at liberty to tell me where I’d be going because he said they were still shifting personnel around but that everything should be sorted soon.

Birdie and I had only talked a few times about my impending promotion and each talk had pretty much ended in an argument because she didn’t want to leave New York City. I’d told her that I might not be going somewhere else, but I knew the odds were definitely stacked against me since there were only two branches of Fleishman here and twelve others across the nation. I didn’t know what would happen once I got assigned, but I was still holding out hope that if she really loved me, she’d be willing to come with me.

“Come on, honey,” I said, standing and picking her up to carry her to bed.

“Please, don’t go,” she murmured in her sleep and I knew she was dreaming of one of our arguments about my promotion.

The next evening just before five, I sat in Mr. Hartford’s office having messaged him that morning to set up a meeting. I now waited for him to get off the phone.

“Yes, Dora, the pink one. I don’t know. Did you look in the closet? Yes. On the hanger. Good. Good. Okay, I’ll see you in a bit.” He hung up and shook his head. “Women.”

I wanted to say, “Tell me about it,” but what did I know. At almost twenty-seven, I’d already been married and divorced and was having trouble convincing the latest woman to stick around. Jesus.

“What can I do for you, Griffin?”

I was nervous, but this was my fucking future, so I went for it. “Well, sir, I know it might sound like I’m prying or even that I’m being ungrateful, but that’s not it at all.”

“What is it, son?”

“You met my girlfriend, Birdie Chapman, when she was here in January investigating the books.” He nodded.  “Well, she’s having a tough time with the fact that I might have to move away from New York City when I get my promotion. So, I was wondering if you had any idea where I might go?”

He looked at me for a moment before speaking. “Do you love this girl, Griffin?”

“I do. She’s my life, Mr. Hartford.”

“And I’m assuming she loves you?”

“She tells me she does,” I said with a halfhearted chuckle.

“If she loves you, she’ll go with you.” He came from a time period where women hadn’t really worked outside the home and went wherever their husbands’ jobs had taken them, so to him, I know it seemed cut and dried.

“But, sir, if I may?” At his nod, I continued. “Her job is very important to her. She loves it. And she grew up here. All her family and friends are here. I’m just afraid if I end up too far away, it’ll be the end of us.”

“Son, I know it’s tough when you’re young. You think you’ve found the right girl then it all falls apart.” A realization struck him. “You just had that happen, am I correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you thought this first wife was the right girl, but apparently, she wasn’t. How do you know this one now is right?”

He did have a fucking point, but still.

“I don’t. But what I do know is that I love her. And I don’t want to lose her.”

“It might be a choice you’ll have to make.” He sighed. “I know I’ve not been a lot of help here and I’m sorry. But if you’ll remember the talk we had a while back about burning bridges, I think you’ll have your answer.”

He was right. He really wasn’t helping. Fuck. “But may I ask if you have any idea at all where I might be going?”

“If you had more seniority, and had a COO position already, we could pull some strings and keep you here. But that’s not the case.”

That wasn’t what I’d inquired about so I waited for him to answer my question.

“Right now, it looks like you might be headed to Cleveland.”

 That wasn’t too bad. I could handle Cleveland. But could Birdie?

“I know it’s a tough decision, but I’m confident you’ll make the right one.” He stood, apparently finished with our talk. “Goodnight, Griffin.”

I stood as well. “Goodnight, sir.”

 

 

On the cab ride home, I played a game with myself.

When I got to my apartment, if Birdie was there—we’d traded keys in February—that meant she’d agree to go with me to Cleveland and we’d live happily ever after. If she wasn’t there, then that meant I’d lost her and we were over.

“Be here, be here,” I mumbled as I punched in the code then walked up the stairs to the second floor. I turned the key in the lock and opening the door, smelled something amazing. “Birdie?” I called and got no answer. Hm.

Going into the kitchen, I saw that the timer on the stove was counting down, and opening the oven, saw a homemade lasagna baking.

“Birdie?” I hollered as I closed the oven door. When she still didn’t answer, I pulled out my phone and called her.

“Hey, you!” she answered brightly.

“Hi, honey. Where are you?”

“I had to run home to get some Italian bread. Doesn’t it smell fabulous in there?”

“It does. You heading this way?”

“Be right there.”

We hung up and now I rationalized. Although she hadn’t technically been here when I’d walked in, she’d been here before that; therefore, I told myself, I won the game and she’d agree to come with me to Cleveland. Pulling a beer from the fridge, I stood and did a fist pump before popping the top and taking a long pull.

Funny how we can convince ourselves that important shit will happen because we’ve won at a silly little mental game we made up on the fly.

“Hey, sweetheart,” she called as she came in the front door. “How was work?”

She gave me a quick kiss as she came into the kitchen and opened the bread, slicing it and putting it on a baking sheet. Then she’d butter it, broil it, sprinkle garlic salt on it, and I’d eat the hell out of it because that shit was amazing.

“It was okay. I got a new account today, so that’s good.”

“Great!” She turned on the oven light and looked to see if the lasagna was ready then standing, she adjusted the timer to go for three more minutes.

“What about you?” I asked.

She turned and leaned back against the counter. “I’m stuck again. Can’t find where all the funds are being bled to. But I will.”

I nodded. “Yeah, you will.”

We ate dinner, made pleasant small talk, went to bed, made love and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

And I’d failed yet again to mention I’d be leaving in a matter of weeks but was still holding out hope that she’d be going with me.

Fuck.

 

 

When I’d finally told her I had to be at my new job in a little over two weeks and that it was probably going to be in Cleveland, her face had fallen and she’d cried.

I’d begged her to go with me.

She’d told me she didn’t know if she could. Her life was here, her job was here.

I’d said, “But I’d be there.”

She’d cried some more and I’d let it drop.

 

 

I’d finally decided.

It was Monday of the next week, Cleveland had been confirmed, I had to report there next week, and I was taking her to dinner to ask her.

I had a little blue box inside my jacket pocket that I’d surprise her with at just the right time.

And I was nervous as fuck.

 

 

“I’m stuffed. But this place was fantastic,” Birdie said, then stared defeatedly down at her plate that was still half full.

We were seated on the veranda of a restaurant that overlooked the city and I was getting more nervous with every passing moment. I downed the rest of my scotch hoping to build my courage.

“You sure you don’t want any wine?” I asked for the third time.

“No, I’m fine, Beck,” she replied with a chuckle.

Well, it was now or never.

I took her hand and looked her in the eye, my heart pounding in my chest and said, “You know I love you with everything I am, Birdie. You’re my heart, my soul, my everything.”

She smiled sweetly, her face aglow with the last rays of the sunset.

“You’re the reason I wake up in the morning, Birdie, why I can make it through every single day. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

I stood and reached inside my jacket to pull out the box. Then going to her, I knelt on one knee at her side and looked up to see her crying.

I opened the box to show her the ring I’d picked that I’d felt was perfect for her. A ring that I hadn’t given one single fuck that it’d cost more than a year’s worth of rent.

“Please tell me you want that too. Birdie, would you make my world complete and be my wife?”

I heard various “ooohs and “aaahs” coming from the other patrons around us but my focus was on her.

She glanced at the ring and let out a loud sob, her shaky hand coming up to cover her mouth.

“Baby,” I prompted.

She looked up at me and through her tears suddenly blurted, “I’m pregnant!” She then jumped out of her chair and ran into the restaurant.

I think I was in shock because it took a moment before I realized I was still on bended knee in front of an empty chair. I finally stood and looked around at everyone and hollered, “I’m gonna be a dad!”

They all applauded and cheered then my brain caught up with the situation and I ran inside to find my soon-to-be-wife. Looking around, I saw a waiter point to the glass elevator, so I made my way there, but she was gone. I’d have taken the stairs but we were on the thirtieth floor so fuck that. I waited impatiently for the car to return.

Pulling out my phone, I called her but got no answer.

“Hurry the fuck up,” I muttered under my breath as I waited on the world’s slowest elevator. Jesus. It finally arrived and getting in with several other people we rode slowly down to the lobby.

I ran out to the street but didn’t see her, so I hailed a cab to take me home. I called her again but she still wasn’t answering.

Fifteen minutes later, I arrived at my apartment and called her name as I went in but she wasn’t there. I ran to her apartment and did the same but she was nowhere to be found.

“Goddamn it!” I yelled when I was out on the street again, and made a couple that’d been heading my way swerve to give me a wide berth.

I called her phone again and this time left a message. “Birdie, baby, where are you? Please, please call me back and let me know you’re okay.”

I went inside my apartment, sat on the couch and stared at the vase Birdie had bought that sat on the coffee table. What seemed like an hour later but had only been fifteen minutes, I got a text.

Text Message—Mon, May 29, 8:57 p.m.

Birdie: I’m at Jaden’s and I’m fine. I love you…but I can’t go

I threw my phone across the room where it hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces.

Just like my heart.

 

 

“Come with me,” I pleaded.

“I can’t,” she said, tears running down her face.

“Then you don’t really love me,” I replied, and walked out the door.

 

 

I rode numbly to the airport in the back of a cab wondering what my future would hold now.

I was going to be a father but she wouldn’t come with me and let me be a daddy.

I’d asked her to be my wife and she’d run away.

And just before I left, I’d given her one last chance to change her mind, but she didn’t love me enough to even reconsider.

In the airport, I sat blindly staring at a young couple with a newborn wondering how that felt.

When the plane boarded, I shuffled along with everyone else not caring about anything at all.

As the plane took off and reached the air, I gazed below at the city I was leaving behind, the city where the woman I loved wasn’t willing to sacrifice anything for me because although she said she loved me, I knew she just didn’t love me enough.

I’d had to walk away from everything I loved in the world that morning and wondered if the rest of the day could get better.

And then I remembered.

It couldn’t.

Because it was a fucking Monday.