Chapter Three
Meghan had promised Chloe she would help with breakfast, but when the alarm buzzed, it was tempting to turn it off and snuggle back under the covers next to Phenex. He mumbled something incoherent as she reached over him to stop the obnoxious noise. She kissed him on the cheek, whispering, “Go back to sleep.”
After she took a very quick shower, she donned a sweatshirt and yoga pants, slipping on a pair of flats before heading down to the kitchen. Chloe and Connie, a sweetbutt known to the Brothers as Creamy, were already there. “Sorry. Late night.”
“Your stomach again?” asked Connie.
“We didn’t expect you,” said Chloe. “Not after what happened with those men.”
“You need help.”
“Rai and Natalie are on the way. You can go back upstairs if you want.”
That was tempting, but she was already awake and here. “I’m all right. I can take a nap later if I need to.”
“Why are you here?” Rai asked, walking into the room with Natalie, a dancer whose stage name was Honey.
“I didn’t get the memo.”
“Nice to have the extra help,” said Natalie. “I won’t turn it down.”
“Gorgon wants French toast this morning,” said Chloe, addressing Meghan. “Feel like tackling that?”
“Sure.”
As Meghan worked on the mixture, Rai asked the group if anyone had heard more news about the four men. “Tannin only said they’re no longer a threat.”
“Phenex didn’t come out and say it, but they’re dead. Donny’s men took care of them.”
“That’s a nasty bruise on your face,” said Rai, her voice hard. “He said one of them hit you.”
“Yeah. I didn’t make his drink right.”
“Did you all hear what Kayla did?” asked Chloe.
“Not sure I want to,” said Connie.
“It’s not bad.” When Kayla had first come here a few weeks ago, she’d barely done a thing to help any of them, and had acted like a diva. Things were much better now, and Meghan would forever be in the girl’s debt after last night.
“Chloe’s right,” she said. “It’s not bad at all, plus Kayla has really changed for the better.”
“Okay,” said Connie. “What did she do?”
“She was behind the bar with me when two of the men started calling me names over the drink I made one of them. Tannin and Phenex came over and tried to calm them down, and then Mastema was behind the bar, asking Kayla what was going on.”
“Why was she behind the bar?” asked Natalie.
“She was watching the dancers and just hanging out with me.”
Chloe nodded. “Yeah. I told her she should come down more often and do that, and she said she would.”
“So what happened next?” asked Connie.
“One of the guys was giving Mastema a really nasty look, and then he just leaped over the bar and tried to grab Kayla. The other one followed, but he came after me. Gene was there, too, and so was Vassago. Gene and Mastema subdued the first guy, while Phenex and Vassago got the second off me, but not before he hit me.”
“When did Kayla punch him?”
“It was the other guy she punched. The one that came after her first.”
“Wow,” said Rai. “Good for her.”
Natalie nodded. “Mastema is a positive influence on her.”
“By the way,” said Chloe, “Kayla is Mastema’s old lady now. Gorgon just heard. He’ll let everyone know, but it’s okay to spread the word.”
“Are you kidding me?” asked Connie.
“Why does that surprise you?” asked Meghan. “I think it’s wonderful. They’re happy together. We all never thought it would happen for him. He’s been living with a dark cloud over his head for a long time.”
“What do you mean?”
Wishing she’d kept her big mouth shut, Meghan cut her gaze toward Chloe for guidance. Chloe shrugged slightly, but nothing in her expression indicated Meghan shouldn’t tell Connie about Mastema’s past. “He had an old lady before. She died eight years ago in a car crash.”
“You’re kidding. I didn’t know that.”
“He doesn’t spread it around. He’s a private person.” Meghan only knew because Rahab had told her once, after she’d fucked him. Rahab was a gossipy thing after sex. Most of the secrets about the patched members she’d learned had come from him.
“I just didn’t realize he and Kayla had become that close,” said Connie.
“Well I think it’s fantastic. It’s about time he was happy,” said Natalie.
“Sure, but I’ll miss fucking him.”
They all laughed. “Honestly,” said Natalie, “he always looked so sad to me, when he didn’t think anyone else was watching. Same with Phenex. He hardly ever smiles.”
Meghan had her back turned at the moment, so she let her own smile slip out, but said nothing. No one but Chloe knew how she secretly yearned to belong to Phenex, and she intended to keep it that way. She’d confessed her feelings once, soon after she had come here, but his reaction had assured her that he only wanted to be her friend.
“So why did those men come here last night?” asked Natalie.
“They were followers of Mad Dog,” said Meghan. “They’ve split off from the original Outlaw Dogs and formed their own group. Apparently, the rumors about Mad Dog talking to Mob bosses in other states is true, because they’re under the protection of a man from Queens that Donny calls bad news.”
It was too quiet behind her, so Meghan turned to face the others. Even Chloe looked surprised, and once more she wished she hadn’t spoken. What Phenex told her obviously hadn’t been communicated to anyone outside the officers yet. Fuck.
“Sorry. I thought everyone knew.”
“Who told you?” asked Rai.
“One of the officers.” She wasn’t about to rat out Phenex. “I thought it was public news by now.” Asking Connie or Natalie to keep quiet about it was pointless, so she didn’t bother.
“I’m sure it will be soon,” said Chloe. “This is bad about the Mob boss from Queens.”
“Yeah, it is.” Meghan was finished with the French toast, so she put it on a plate along with cinnamon and chocolate syrup, the way Gorgon liked to eat it. She handed the plate to Chloe. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” Chloe added a ton of bacon and topped off the meal with a generous scoop of hash browns. “Be right back.”
Natalie and Connie were done with the meals they’d prepared, so once they left the kitchen, Meghan gave Rai a sheepish grin. “Me and my big mouth.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it. Everyone will know by this afternoon. You know how this place is better than I do.”
“Did you know, too?”
“Yes. Chloe and I both did. She heard it from Gorgon this morning, but Donny actually told me last night before Tannin did. You have me worried, though. Please tell me it was truly an officer who told you. If this got outside their group already, Tannin needs to know.”
“No, it was Phenex. But, shit, I hope I didn’t just get him in trouble.”
“You didn’t. I’m sure Gorgon will tell the other members and prospects today. And, you never said it was Phenex. You only said one of the officers. So neither Natalie nor Connie can say it was Phenex, specifically, who told you.”
Heat flooded Meghan’s face, so she pretended to be totally engrossed in cleaning the pan she’d just used. So much for not ratting out Phenex. “Will you please not say anything about this to anyone?”
“Consider it our secret.”
“Thanks, Rai. Do you need help with anything?”
“No. I’m done. Be right back.”
Meghan cleaned the other pans so when everyone returned, they could use them again right away. Chloe was the first to return. “So, I just passed Rai in the hallway upstairs. She said she doesn’t know who told you the reason the men were here last night.”
“Yes, she does. I told all of you. It was an officer.”
“Meghan…”
That tone indicated Chloe was worried. Probably for the same reason Rai had been. “Fine. It was Phenex.”
“Thank you. I needed to know this hadn’t gotten outside the officer group.”
“Rai said the same thing.”
Chloe gave her a droll look. “So you did tell her.”
“Yeah.”
“This is important shit, Meghan.”
“I’ve been here long enough to understand that, Chloe. I made a mistake saying what I did in front of Natalie and Connie, okay?”
“Okay. No harm done.” Chloe cut her gaze toward Meghan’s left cheek. “I’ll bet Phenex had plenty to say about that bruise on your face.”
“He broke the man’s nose. With the toe of his boot.” Meghan did her best to imitate Phenex’s words and gestures when he had told her about breaking the man’s nose, and Chloe laughed.
“I can totally see him saying that, too. In exactly that same way.” She studied Meghan’s expression for a few seconds. “Are you two together now?”
Meghan snorted. “Right. I wish.”
“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I tried to do that once, remember? I made an ass of myself.”
“It was also two years ago, and after Margie had emasculated him. Try again.”
“When did any woman in an MC ever do that?”
“Well, Rai, for one.”
“Yeah, but she’s different. She came here not really knowing how it is. She also didn’t try once and get shot down. And Tannin is, well, Tannin.”
“All right then. Don’t tell him with words. Treat him differently. Make him stand out. Show him you prefer him over all the others.”
“Sure. So I can get my heart broken again when he notices, and tells me he’s not interested in me that way? No thanks. It was bad enough the first time. I don’t want to go through it again.”
“Like I said, that was two years ago. He found Margie in bed with two prospects. After she’d agreed to be exclusive with him. It was right before you came here to work. You don’t know how horrible it was for him.”
“I realize that, Chloe, but he made it pretty clear he wasn’t interested in me that way.”
“His pride was hurt. His feelings might have changed by now. You two are very close.”
“Yeah. Close friends. Nothing more. Don’t you think if his feelings toward me had, changed, I’d know by now? He’s not subtle. None of them are.”
Chloe began making the next breakfast order. “You’re right about that. When they want something or someone, we all know it. But they’re also proud men. He might be waiting for you to say something first.”
“Not going to happen. I won’t screw up what we do have by going there again. Anyway, I’ve let too much time go by.”
“Meghan, that’s crazy. I was here a year before Gorgon and I got together.”
“Yeah, but that was different. You had a damn good reason to be gun-shy.”
“So do you.”
The story Meghan had told the officers and Chloe was that she’d been emotionally abused by her ex-boyfriend and that’s why she had stomach trouble. It was so generic compared to the actual truth, that even if she told everyone the whole story now, they might not believe her.
“It’s not even close to what you went through, Chloe.” Actually, it was worse, but that wasn’t the real reason why telling Phenex how she felt would backfire. “But can you imagine me saying something like to any of them now, after all this time?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m Wonder Tongue. The sweetbutt who would drop to her knees in the middle of the club and suck any of them off, even on the busiest night, if they asked me to. I love to fuck. I love to give them blowjobs. That’s who I am to them. No one would ever seriously want me as their old lady.”
Meghan plopped down on the nearest stool. “Hell, Chloe. I’ve fucked every one of them, in front of the others or privately, so many times that I might as well be the club porn star. How many men do you know who want to be unofficially married to a fucking porn star that their best friends have fucked multiple times, and in every hole?”
“Hey, I was no different before I agreed to be Gorgon’s old lady. You know that.” Chloe stopped working and sat down next to Meghan. “These guys don’t see it that way. What’s really going on? I heard those men said some horrible things to you. Is that what has you so rattled?”
“No. I mean, yeah. They said terrible things, but I’ve heard worse.”
“So what’s bothering you?”
What was bothering her? Holding in a huge secret this long. Her all-consuming love for Phenex that wasn’t fading with time. Loneliness for a man of her own that wanted more than sex from her. Take your pick. “I don’t know. I guess everything that’s going on lately.”
“The stuff with the Outlaw Dogs, you mean?”
“That and all the rest of it. Having to fence in the property, all the lights they’re installing, the beefed-up security we never had to bother with before.”
“Yeah. That sucks. But welcome to the shitty world we live in.”
The others returned, so that signaled the end of private conversation between her and Chloe, at least for now. But as she helped the four get breakfast ready for the men in the building, Meghan thought about everything Chloe had said.
Why wouldn’t she try again? It was a legitimate question. She’d been obsessed with Phenex from day one. Sure, he turned her down once, but Chloe was right. That was two years ago, and after a traumatic event in his life. He might feel differently now, but was reluctant to say anything. She’d never brought it up again, so he might assume she had changed her mind. How would she ever know if she never tried?
And while she was running down difficult but legit questions in her mind, why didn’t she ever want any of them to spend the night? Why did she keep them all, even Phenex, at such a distance?
Was it really only about sex? Or, was she absolutely terrified of the past coming back to repeat itself? Even in the face of overwhelming evidence that none one of the patched members would treat her the way she’d been treated before she came here?
All legitimate questions, indeed. And she had no answers for any of them.