It was going to be pricy, but I was willing to spring for a better locker room. It stung to hear, but she was right. Men were happy to work out on cold concrete with corrugated iron over their heads, but if it’s women I wanted to appeal to, I had to get the bathroom up to scratch.

My first couple classes had gone over well. I was feeling cautiously hopeful. They seemed to enjoy it, too. If I could hold enough classes throughout the month I’d soon be pulling in enough to drop the private security gigs completely. Hugo and Lisa had come around yesterday to check the place out and, for the first time in a long time, I was feeling proud. I had made an enemy of that Madeleine woman and I had really put my foot in it with the beautiful girl that came on the Saturday morning class, so I couldn’t say that things looked good on the dating front. But ah well.

With a free afternoon, I decided to head home and tidy up the apartment a little and relax. I tinkered with a new website I was getting a friend Jack to build, when I stumbled on a review site with a brand new review for “Max’s Gym.” My heart jolted up to my throat as I stared for a few moments at that lone star. A one star review. I gulped and read on.

I read over those few lines so many times I was sure I was about to bore a hole through my laptop screen with my eyes. What the fuck? Who would leave such an awful review? I slammed the laptop shut again and rubbed my face.

Inappropriate? It all felt like a horrible nightmare. For some reason, I all of a sudden saw Madeleine’s judgmental face flash in my mind’s eye. The way she looked at me with such contempt. Sure, I might have been a little old school in some of my beliefs, but inappropriate? My mind replayed the whole lesson as best I could to find evidence that I had upset one of the students this badly.

I got up to pace the room but the longer I thought about it the more unfair it felt, until I was sure that I was being unfairly singled out and perhaps even insulted. But by whom? Unsure of what to do with myself, I grabbed my phone and dialed a number.

“Hey bro.” “Hey, it’s me.”

“My man!”

“You busy? I wanted to talk to you about something quick.”

“Hey, listen Max, don’t worry about it. Water under the bridge. Mom was the one who was really embarrassed, I’ve already forgotten about it…”

“Wait, what?”

There was a pause.

“What do you mean wait what? Are you telling me you haven’t called to apologize for pissing off the very lovely lady I set you up with the other day?” he said, voice sharp with sarcasm.

“Oh, yeah, shit… Hugo, I’m sorry about how that all played out.”

He was laughing.

“Yeah, you fucked up. I have to say, that’s what I admire about you bro, you do not give one solitary shit.”

“That’s not true. Look I didn’t want to offend her but come on. I was just trying to express my opinion. To help out Lisa. You agree with me right? And jeez it’s been weeks.”

“Don’t worry, forget it. You were an offensive asshole, what’s new,” he said, still laughing.

“Well, thanks, I guess.”

“No problem. And in any case, turns out for the best. Old Maddy had a lot to say about you and turns out I was just the shoulder to cry on.”

“You’re saying you…”

“Oh yeah. It’s genius actually. Good brother bad brother routine, I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner!”

“Jesus,” I groaned. “And I’m the bad guy in this story? I don’t understand people sometimes.”

“Look, stop whining and tell me what you wanted to talk about. How are your classes going?”

“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about. They went well. Or at least, I thought I did. Someone left me a really bad review, Hugo.”

“A review? That’s weird. You’ve only been in business for like two seconds.”

“I know. But it’s bad. They were mean. Said I was inappropriate. That the gym was rundown and that I was full of myself, and that people should avoid me.”

“Oh shit,” Hugo said, his tone suddenly changing.

“I know. I just saw it now, and to be honest, I can’t even guess who it was. Everyone seemed to have a great time. The class was full. It was great. I don’t get it.”

It was Hugo’s turn to groan.

“Buddy, are you sure? You sure you didn’t say something …I don’t know, are you sure you weren’t expressing your opinion again?”

Almost hearing the anger in the silence that followed, he quickly spoke again.

“Look, bro, I’m kidding. You say it was great, I believe you. It happens. People are assholes, I guess. Are you sure there’s nobody you can think of who wrote it?”

I could hear my own breath on the line as I thought.

“Well, there might have been this woman…”

“Go on.”

“I asked her out. But in a totally normal way. She said no, maybe that’s inappropriate? Shit, Hugo, am I that bad at this that my flirting attempts are now cause for public complaint?”

“Oh my god. Yeah, I mean, maybe it wasn’t her. Could have been anybody, right? Ah fuck, just forget about it. It’s probably nothing. It’s just one review right?”

“It’s the only review.”

“Damn.”

I chatted with Hugo a little more but in the back of my mind it started to seem unavoidable. It had to have been her. Hadn’t she said something mean about the bathrooms? My heart sank. I said goodbye Hugo, just after he threw one of his best pep talks at me, then paced the room again.

I had turned down a few good gigs so far. I had sunk a huge amount of money into getting these classes off the ground. It was a small start but dammit I had been proud of the idea, and proud of how hard I worked to put together a curriculum. But it was more than that. It was the fact that I would be doing something legitimately useful. I could teach women to defend themselves. There was value in that, and dignity. Well, right up until this stupid review.

Knowing all along that I shouldn’t, I reached down and opened my lower drawer, pulled out an ancient pack of cigarettes and pushed one out the end of the pack.

I wasn’t a smoker. Not really. But there were certainly moments in life that were made a bit easier to understand once you were on the other end of a smoke. I don’t know why. I’m not super proud of it, and nothing in the world would make me jeopardize my health or fitness …but just then I didn’t care. I went outside into the courtyard with a single cigarette and a lighter and all the rage that comes with knowing there’s nothing you can do about something that irritates you.

And that’s when I saw her.

I nearly leapt out of skin when I realized who it was. For a split-second I wondered if she had followed me here, but when I saw her make her way from her parked car and up a walkway, I realized she lived here.

That bitch.

I dove behind some bushes; relieved she hadn’t noticed me, and then stared at her long and hard, trying to find proof somehow that it was her that left that awful review that was going to hurt my business before it even started.

Cigarette unlit, I crouched a little out of sight and looked on. Her apartment was just a few doors down from mine. My heart beat loudly in my ears at the sight of her. Just the way she carried herself, completely unaware of my presence, made the whole thing feel so illicit, even though all she was doing was walking to her front door. Maybe I was fucking inappropriate. But she dawdled at her front door. She was acting strangely, looking over her shoulder and keeping her hand tucked halfway in her bag. I couldn’t understand her body language.

She seemed prettier now than what I remembered from the class. Softer somehow. Like she had been straining to wear a particular mask in public but now that she was alone her face relaxed completely and you could see how pretty she really was. She had a classic, uncomplicated beauty, like something you’d see in a statue. True, she was frowning, but I was still transfixed. Hell, I hadn’t meant anything by asking her out. I’ve been out of the game for so long I no longer know what the damn rules were for any of this, but surely I hadn’t committed any crime by just asking some sweet-looking girl out somewhere?

I angled my head to see her digging in her purse and then pull out her front door keys. I shrugged and lit the cigarette, but when I looked up again, I nearly fell over in shock. She made eye contact with me and was walking straight towards me.

In a fumble, the cigarette dropped from my lip and landed on the gravel, which was now crunching loudly as she took angry strides over to where I was standing. Or …hiding. This looked bad. This looked really bad. I suddenly saw myself through her eyes and there was no time to come up with some excuse. It was plain as day – I was definitely, 100% watching her from behind the bushes.

Shit.