Chapter 1
“Oh God, Chance. Don’t stop!”
I look down at Molly. Millie? Shit. I’m so bad with names. Her eyes are closed and her head is thrown back. I can feel her body start to tense and I know she’s close. I should feel like a king but this whole new woman every night thing is getting a little mundane. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Why can’t I connect to anyone?
Pounding on the wall brings my head up and I smirk. Max is yelling from the next room to give it a rest. Now it’s game on. I push into her even harder, making her scream. Max pounds again and I laugh to myself.
I purposely ask to have the room next to Max while we’re on the road. This cat and mouse game he’s got going on with Rachel is old news and it’s time he takes some action. Making him sexually frustrated every night is my special way of nudging him in the right direction. I have a reputation to keep up and pissing Max off is just the icing on the cake.
“Chance!” Her scream pierces my ears and I want to pound my chest.
I reach under her ass and pull her closer so I can drive deeper. She pants for breath. Her pussy squeezes my cock, begging for release but I’m not ready yet.
“I can’t.” She thrashes her head back and forth and claws at my arms.
“You will.” It’s not a request. It’s a command. “You will until I say you’re done.”
She tries to protest but I put my hand over her mouth. Her eyes widen and I lean forward and bite her nipple. She shatters around my cock again.
“That’s a good girl.”
I pull out and she’s shocked when I roll off of her. I push off the bed and stretch my back, her juices dripping from my fully erect cock.
“Where are you going? You didn’t finish.” She sits up and looks genuinely concerned. How sweet.
Poor girl has no idea. It’s not about finishing. It’s about knowing I can if I want to. It’s the only human connection I have, aside from the guys in the band, and even that is guarded. My life is an empty shell. It always has been. Well, maybe not always. There was a time when I felt connected to someone but that was a lifetime ago and I won’t ever let it happen again. She was ripped away in an instant. I couldn’t handle losing someone again.
“Babe, It’s all about you. If you felt good, my job here is done.” I pat her head like she’s nothing but a play thing. And that’s exactly what she is.
They never catch on to that. They come to me with stars in their eyes. They all think they’re the one, the one who can turn Lennon Chancellor into a one-woman man. That shit is never going to happen. There’s not a pussy in this world that would make me want to come back for seconds. Not a single one.
“Come back to bed and let me hold you.” Her voice is seriously working my last nerve. But I’m a gentleman and I will let her stay. Even if I know I’m an asshole, the women don’t.
“I will, gorgeous. I just need to get a drink of water. You want anything, baby?” I hold my key card up so she can see it. She shakes her head no and I’m out the door.
I feel less claustrophobic in the hall. It’s quiet and no one is out here to bother me. I have a routine after every show. I pick a groupie, head back to the hotel, bury myself in her for a few hours and then pace the hall until I’m ready to sleep. They’ve always fallen asleep when I get back and it lets me avoid the dreaded cuddle they’re all so desperate for. I like my personal space when I’m done. The sex is just a way to decompress but the pacing, that’s because I can’t connect to anyone else.
“Chance?” I jump.
“You scared the shit out of me, Seymour. Why aren’t you asleep?”
Joshua shrugs his shoulders. “Not sure. I have that feeling I get sometimes. Something big is coming. Sure as shit wish I knew if it was good or bad.”
“Got a hot piece of ass in my bed if you need a turn.” I’m kidding but it doesn’t come out that. I shake my head. “That was fucked up. Sorry.”
He smirks. “You know the rule. No women for me. I have to keep my head clear. I can’t have some woman pulling my focus. You boys are enough to worry about.”
I hold up my water and tip it in his direction. I know we’re a fucked up bunch and he deals with all our shit like a champ. We’d be in jail, or worse, if Joshua hadn’t guided us in the right direction. When he came on as our manager, we knew we had to get our lives in order and he made sure we did. We’ve stumbled a few times but for the most part, he’s made sure that we’ve kept our noses clean and our private lives as private as possible. If the press would fuck off, life would be perfect.
The damn paparazzi is all over us. I can’t leave my house without flash bulbs going off. What I wouldn’t give for a day to go out and do whatever I wanted without constantly looking over my shoulder. When we set out to conquer the music scene, none of us had any clue we were giving up every second of privacy.
When Della died, we were swarming with bodyguards. I’m six feet of solid muscle and I spend half my life in the gym. My exercise of choice is krav maga. I know I could hold my own. But, her death rocked us to the core and we were paranoid and scared. Add to that, the press came at us like hoards of zombies, exploiting our sadness and fear and stalking Harley to the breaking point. I didn’t even feel like I could take a shit without a man standing guard and a camera shoved in my face.
My fingers twitch. It’s a nervous habit I developed the day I was forced out of a foster home and thrown out on the streets to fend for myself. It’s the reason I picked up a guitar. My fingers would twitch and people would look at me like I was crazy. I needed an excuse and the bass guitar was the perfect one. Deep down, I knew I was a little crazy.
“You need to get some sleep, Chance. It’s been a long trip. Try to get a few hours and we’ll meet back on the bus after breakfast. With everything going on with Max and his father, we need everyone alert and rested. I have no idea what kind of shit storm is coming.” Joshua lets himself into his room and looks over his shoulder at me before disappearing inside. He nods his head and gives me a ghost of a smile.
I roll my neck. Fuck this. I’m going back to my room. I pray she’s asleep. I can’t handle anything else tonight.