Chapter Twelve
A red Miata convertible squealed to a stop next to us. Jana waved at me from the driver’s seat. “Get in.”
The cars behind her rudely laid on their horns.
“Hurry up before they lynch me,” Jana called.
I trotted over to the convertible with the detective right on my heels.
Using his best official police officer voice Dutch asked, “You do know you’re double parked and blocking a thoroughfare? That’s a two hundred and fifty dollar fine.”
Jana gave him the one-finger salute.
I opened the car door. “Later gator.”
“Don’t forget to check in,” Dutch warned, blocking me from getting into the car.
“If I have cell service, I will.”
All hard-faced cop, Dutch leaned down and growled, “Don’t make me track you down.”
“Finding me in the Superstition Mountains will be a little difficult, but you’re welcome to try.”
“The Superstitions? I thought you were corralling Elvis?”
“I am. I also have a lost hiker to find.”
A male voice called, “Detective Callaghan.”
The minute Dutch straightened and turned to see who was calling his name, I hurriedly slid into the Miata. “Go!”
“Get out of the car Kandi,” Dutch commanded, reaching for me.
Before he could grab me, the convertible shot off, barely missing a taxi. “Whoa! Take it easy. I’m not ready to go into the light yet.”
“I told you not to do anything stupid,” Jana snapped.
Yikes. I dug a chocolate kiss out of my purse, unwrapped it and held it out. “I think you need this more than I do.”
My BFF snatched it off my palm. “You used your powers on a TV news crew and that poor woman.” She popped the candy in her mouth.
“Poor woman? Natasha Leggero is an evil bitch who deserved to get shit on and what is the news crew going to report? Pigeons with diarrhea?”
Jana gasped, “Natasha Leggero? I remember her. She was on the nightly news for months and always wearing something low cut.”
“She’s real proud of her gargantuan boobs.” I hurriedly fastened my seatbelt as Jana took a corner too fast.
“The drama queen did a couple of talk shows about her situation. Natasha wanted the whole world to know how Liam, he’s Dutch’s father, had wronged her. Not only was he a man-whore, he fraudulently put his name on the deed to the condo and cleaned out all her bank accounts. The entire situation was like some over-the-top soap opera.”
“I’m surprised Dutch didn’t put a stop to her shenanigans.”
“He never got the chance.” Jana honked at a slow-moving driver and shouted, “Who taught you how to drive? Your grandmother?”
The driver flipped her off.
I prompted, “And why didn’t Dutch stop Natasha?”
“According to my source at the police department, Dutch woke up one night with Natasha in his bed. Nude. He was trying to get her off him when his father walked in.”
“Whoa! The bitch set him up,” I exclaimed.
“Oh yeah, big time. Natasha claimed Dutch had forced her to have sex with him.”
“As if. Please tell me his father didn’t believe her?”
“Liam fell for the lie, hook, line and sinker. He punched Dutch in the mouth, called him every foul name he could think of and told him to get out. He refused to speak with his son for months,” Jana replied.
“God, how horrible. Dutch might be an ass but would never betray his father like that or force himself on a woman.”
Jana nodded in agreement. “No, he values his family too much.”
“He’s also sneaky, persistent and too damn good at his job,” I added. “I betcha Natasha has pulled this scam before.”
“That would be my guess too. My source said Liam finally realized he was being played when he came home early and found Natasha in bed with the mailman. He packed up all of her stuff and made her leave.”
I tapped a finger against my face. “Hmm. Let me guess. That pissed Natasha off.”
“Big time. She immediately filed a restraining order on Liam and Dutch, saying they had viciously attacked her. She had graphic pictures and a witness to back up her claim. The police chief suspended Dutch until Internal Affairs finished their investigation. That idiot judge even allowed Natasha to stay in the disputed condo. Liam, the rightful owner, was given twenty minutes to grab some clothes and get out.”
I suddenly wanted to sic a biblical plague of cockroaches on the evil bitch. She enjoyed ruining people’s lives way too much. “I can’t believe they bought that crackbrained psychopath’s story and suspended Dutch. What a punch to the gut.”
“Luckily, Dutch could prove he was in Vegas at the time of the alleged attack.”
“Natasha didn’t do her homework,” I said gleefully. “Did Liam get his condo back then?”
“Nope. Natasha had her lawyer sue him for alienation of affection.”
I snorted in disgust. “Wow. She doesn’t stop. I mean, she’s the one sleeping around.”
“Natasha’s lawyer isn’t the brightest bulb in the pack. He didn’t know Arizona abolished that statute in 2014 and was stunned when the judge dismissed the case.”
“I’m beginning to understand why Dutch is so bad tempered. To have your own father think you’re capable of raping his girlfriend, then getting suspended on top of it? It would make anyone a bit cranky,” I said.
Jana whipped around a stalled car. “Natasha also called up Dutch’s girlfriend and told her about the supposed rape.”
“Don’t tell me she dumped him?”
“Yep. Wouldn’t even listen to his side of the story,” Jana answered.
“Whoa! That’s low. Poor guy gotta have abandonment issues.”
“Dutch needs a woman who will stick by him. Someone like you,” Jana proclaimed.
“Me? With all my not-so-legal activities, he’d end up arresting me before the month was up.”
“True.”
A siren sounded in my purse. I ignored the ringtone. “Did Liam ever get his condo back?”
“About a month ago, but Natasha refused to move out.”
An evil smile curled my mouth. “I can get her out.”
“A spider infestation?”
“I was thinking of using cockroaches, a horde of scorpions and a bunch of mice.”
Jana glanced at my purse as the siren kept blaring. “Don’t tell me you gave Dutch his own ring tone?”
“I did.”
“Are you going to answer it?”
“Hell, no,” I said.
Jana sighed and shook her head. “Need my assistance with Elvis?
“Yep. I’m on a deadline. Dad needs my help locating an elderly woman who went hiking in the Superstition Mountains. Her dog, Bobo, was found alone on the trail.”
“Let me guess. He needs you to question the dog?”
“You got it.”
“And Doctor Doolittle rides to the rescue once again,” Jana sniped.
What had crawled up her butt? “It’s supposed to hit 110 degrees today. She’ll die if we don’t find her.”
“I know. Sorry, I’m being such a bitch, but your life resembles some wild, blow- them-all-to-hell action flick and if you’re not careful, it’s gonna kill ya.”
Crap. Jana was still upset about me getting shot at. “I love you too and I promise I’ll be more careful.”
Jana chortled. “You have the mayhem gene. Wherever you go, weird shit happens. I doubt even the detective can keep you out of trouble.”
“You’ve been hanging around dead people too long. What you need is some fresh air and sunshine,” I replied.
“I’m not certified for search and rescue yet.”
I rolled my eyes. Like that mattered. “Since half of the team is busy on another rescue, Dad needs all the help he can get. Do you have your go-bag with you?”
“I always carry it.”
“Good.” The siren blared again. I glanced at my watch. It was 10:10. Maybe Dutch would be late for court and the judge would toss him in the hoosegow. I smiled at the thought.
“You do know, he’s gonna find you.” Jana pulled the Miata to a stop in front of my office.
“Eventually.” I climbed out of the car and waved at Tinkerbell.
The Yorkie watched me through the glass door. Arf. Arf. Arf. Arf.
“I did not abandon you. I told you I had to meet with the detective.” Taking my keys out, I opened the door and bent down to pet her.
Tinkerbell skittered away. Woof.
“I stink?”
She wrinkled her snout and yipped.
“I told you I was going to talk with Maria’s spirit.”
Arf. Arf. Arf. Arf.
“I did not roll in her stinky remains.”
Woof.
“Are you calling me a liar?”
Jana shut the door. “What’s wrong?”
“Tinkerbell says I stink.”
“You do. It’s a good thing your grandmother put in that shower.”
“It is. We need to hurry. I’m sure Dutch is going to have a patrol officer swing by to see if we’re here.”
“I get first dibbs on the shower. I stink too,” Jana called and sprinted for the bathroom.