Is it possible to die from nervousness?

I cleared my throat as I pulled on the collar of my sweater, trying to let some cool air in. Facing the long aisle that separated the sea of cubicles made the moment seem even more real. The sound of phone chatter and the clacking of keystrokes on keyboards filled the air. My heart was pounding and my palms were coated in sweat, making it hard to hold onto my briefcase.

“Hi there!” A rotund woman stepped in front of me. She spoke with a soft tone, holding out her hand. “Welcome to Winthrow Financial.”

I was surprised to find that I actually felt a bit of relief. The woman's beaming smile and pleasant tone of voice seemed genuine, putting me a little bit at ease.

“Hi, I'm...” I began to respond.

“Jane.” The woman finished the sentence for me. “You're Jane, right? The new hire.”

I cocked my head, causing my blonde hair to swing to the side. “How did you know?”

She shrugged. “News spreads fast around this office. We're a pretty tight-knit group and new hires don't come around as often as they used to. I'm Maddy, by the way.”

“Good to meet you,” I replied, feeling my shoulders relax as the tension began to release from my body.

“I think I'm supposed to meet my new boss,” I said. “Can you tell me where his office is?”

“Oh, David?” Maddy said. “Yeah, his office is in the back corner, near your cubicle. He's usually in meetings until noon or so, though. Want me to show you around?”

“Sure, that'd be great,” I said, wondering if Maddy was taking me on this tour just to avoid work.

Maddy showed me around the building, and mostly talked about office gossip and politics. All things that I didn't give a shit about. When we went to the North Wing, I saw a sexy man in a suit. Maddy pulled me to the side of the hallway as the man walked quickly past us. He walked with purpose and hardly even noticed our presence. I, on the other hand, couldn't stop staring at him.

As soon as he had passed, Maddy said quietly, “You dum dum. That's our boss's boss's boss. Don't you know anything about this company?”

I admitted that I only knew his name, but had never actually bothered to look up a picture of him. I didn't care much for People Magazine or any of the other grocery store tabloids.

So that's Carter Winthrow, boy prodigy of Wall Street and billionaire playboy, huh? I thought, still tingling from my near encounter with him.

“Come on,” Maddy said. “It's 10:45 already. Let's go get lunch and then you can meet our boss when we get back.”

* * *

“This place is cute,” I said, glancing around the small patio.

Maddy and I sat at a table under an umbrella, but the shade only covered her half. I had sunshine falling over my fair skin and the warmth felt amazing.

“You'll love the food,” she said, opening the menu for just a split second before closing it. “I already know what I want. The BLT is fantastic here.”

“I'll do the same.” I put my menu on top of hers and took a sip of my water.

After giving our order to the young waitress, I let out a relaxed sigh.

“So, tell me about yourself, Jane,” Maddy said. “What brought you to Winthrow?”

I shrugged. “I really just wanted to get my foot in the door at a bigger corporation. I figured that there would be a lot of growth at Winthrow. When I saw that they were hiring accountants, I jumped on the opportunity. I can't tell you how happy I am that I got the job. Most of my friends that I graduated college with haven't been able to find any work yet.”

“It's a tough market out there,” Maddy said, as the food arrived. “You found a good company, though. I've been with them for almost ten years. Hard to believe how fast the time has gone by, but I can honestly say I wouldn't want to work for anybody else but Carter Winthrow.”

I raised my eyebrows as she said his name. I still hadn't actually met the guy, besides seeing him walk by me in the hallway that morning. As far as he knew, I probably didn't even exist. I was just a lowly number cruncher, hardly even worth a mention on a spreadsheet as far as he was concerned.

“The only things I know about Carter are the few things I've read about online,” I said. “Most of which was probably lies.”

“I don't know about that,” Maddy said, lowering her voice so that the others on the patio couldn't hear her. “He's every bit of the playboy that he's made out to be. I heard that once, he had sex with a girl in one of the break rooms. God, I wish I could be so lucky.” Maddy picked up her napkin and waived it in front of her face as if to cool herself down. “I've only spoken with him on a handful of occasions, but I swear, I got soaking wet just looking at him.”

“Maddy!” I squealed, feeling my face blush at her crude comment.

“Sorry, sorry,” she said, with a chuckle. “It's true, though. The man is nothing but eye candy that I could eat for days. Mmm, hmm. It's not just his muscles and broad shoulders, though. No, it's those green eyes of his. There's something seductive in them. They're a big part of why he's able to get whatever he wants, I'm sure of it.”

The way Maddy described him almost made my panties get a little wet. I mean, what girl wouldn't be intrigued by a billionaire CEO, who not only had money but also good looks?

“Well, I don't think a girl like me ever has to worry about ending up with Carter in the break room,” I said, looking down at my plate of food.

“What do you mean?” Maddy asked.

“I'm not exactly supermodel material, if you know what I mean.” I brought my gaze back up, forcing a smirk.

Maddy dropped her fork and leaned in a few inches. She lifted her sunglasses up until they were on the top of her head. I watched as her eyes dropped, giving me a quick once over. A look of confusion then crossed her face.

“What in the hell are you talking about, Jane? You've got a smokin' body. Seriously. I would straight up kill a human being to have your body. Like not even joking. Show me who I have to kill, and I'll do it to have your figure.”

I chuckled to hide my embarrassment. “You're just being nice.”

Maddy's face became serious. “Jane, I'd give my left arm to have your boobs alone. Come on. You seriously don't think you're hot? Here, let me ask one of these guys out here what they think.”

Maddy turned to look around to patio, but I quickly reached across the table and grabbed her arm before she could embarrass me. “No, please, don't do that, Maddy. I believe you. I guess I just never thought of myself as being all that pretty.”

“Well, in my humble opinion, I think you're wrong,” she said, smiling warmly. “Don't get the wrong idea, though. I'm not a lesbian or anything. I just know the difference between a pretty girl and an ugly one. Let me tell you, not all of the models that Carter goes out with are all that pretty. Why in God's name would someone be attracted to a walking toothpick? Seriously, I just want to make some of them eat a damn cheeseburger because they need it. Once again, that's just my humble opinion, though.”

I knew right then that Maddy and I were going to be good friends. She was just unrefined and brash enough for me to know that I could trust her. She didn't seem like the kind of person that would have been able to tell a lie even if she'd tried. On top of that, she had me laughing out loud. It took me forever to eat my sandwich because it seemed like every other bite she'd say something that had me cracking up.

After a while, I finished eating. Maddy still had a few bites, so I relaxed into my chair and closed my eyes, letting the sunlight fall over my face. There was foot traffic just a few feet away, on the other side of the wrought iron fence that separated the patio from the sidewalk. I opened my eyes just in time to see a mother coddling her young baby, trying to get him to stop crying.

For whatever reason, I suddenly wished I was in that ladies' shoes. I practically felt my uterus spasm at the sight of the baby and wondered when and how I'd be able to ever get one of my own. It was like, for the first time in my life, I could practically hear the ticking of my biological clock. Even though I was only in my early twenties, I suddenly felt like time was passing quickly and I was in a race against time.

“Earth to Jane.” Maddy's voice snapped me back to reality.

I looked away from the sidewalk, letting the mother and her child leave my view. Maddy had finished her meal and already left a twenty dollar bill on the table to cover the check.

“You ready? We should head back to the office,” she said. “David gets his panties in a twist if anybody is late coming back from lunch.”

“Yeah, sorry,” I said, standing up and putting on my sunglasses.

What in the hell was that all about? I asked myself. Am I baby crazy? I've never experienced anything like that before.

As Maddy and I walked back to the office, I found myself gently touching my belly. It still tingled from seeing that mom and baby. It was still my first day on my first real job, but suddenly, I didn't feel like I had it all. Something much more maternal began to fill my mind.

Whatever that was, I've got to ignore it, I thought. I've got to focus on what's at hand and right now, it's this job.

* * *

Maddy set my briefcase onto the desk and spun around, her smile as wide as her hips. She shrugged her shoulders, causing her curly brown hair to bounce. “Here's your cubicle.” She motioned her hand toward the cubicle that faced the wall. “Mine is on the opposite side of the room, way over there. I'm usually pretty busy during the day, but don't hesitate to hunt me down if you need something. I'm basically doing the same work you are and I'm happy to help you get started.”

“Thanks, Maddy,” I said, as she scurried off.

I glanced over at my desk, which had next to nothing on it. In the right corner was a computer and on the left was a simple desk lamp. On the center of the desk was a piece of paper. I picked it up to find a letter from the CEO, Carter Winthrow. It was obviously mass produced and something that was sent out to every new employee. Basically a simple welcome letter. On the top of the note was Carter Winthrow's picture. His dark hair and green eyes and perfectly tan skin were undeniably attractive, even in the small photo. I found myself staring at it for just a moment too long before reading the generic message underneath.

Welcome to the company, etcetera, etcetera, I thought. That's nice and all, but I'm ready to get to work.

“And you must be Jane,” a man's voice coming from the office nearby caused me to glance over. He approached me with his hand out. He was wearing a green shirt tucked into gray slacks that didn't quite fit the right way. They were saggy in all the wrong places.

“Yes, that's me.” I shook the man's hand.

“I'm David, your boss,” he said. “I manage the team here on this floor. This department deals mostly with accounting, but sometimes Mr. Winthrow will have us take on other projects. For now, though, I'm just going to have you look over one of our budgets. I think it'll be a good way to get you familiar with our system. Sound good?”

I nodded eagerly. “Yes, of course. Whatever you need me to do.”

“Great,” David said, pushing his glasses up a bit. “I'll send that over to you right away. In the meantime, feel free to get settled. Later this afternoon, I'll introduce you to the other employees.”

With that, David turned and disappeared into his office, closing the door behind him. I took a deep breath and finally sat down in my chair. As my computer started up, I looked at the letter from the CEO again. The image of Carter Winthrow had caught my eye once more. I shouldn't have been surprised, though. He was gorgeous. From what I had heard through the grapevine, I wasn't the only woman who thought so either. Mr. Winthrow had been in the papers on several different occasions and was always painted as a total playboy. He loved women and women loved him.

I shook my head and chuckled to myself, turning the paper over and pushing it aside.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so plain, I thought. If I looked like one of those supermodels he dates, I could get a guy like him.

It wasn't tough for me to admit to myself that I was, indeed, a bit of a nerd. I'd spent most of my young life with my nose in books. I'd read anything and everything I could get my hands on, but had a special attraction to mathematical reading. Numbers and more numbers. I couldn't get enough. My love for math eventually brought me to accounting, which brought me to here, in front of this desk about to make more money per hour than I had ever made.

“Life's not bad,” I whispered, scooting up my chair.

Once my computer had started, I logged in with my brand new user name and password that the secretary had given me that morning. It felt good. It felt official. I could practically taste the first paycheck already.

I went straight to my work email and noticed a message in my inbox from David. He'd already sent me the budget he wanted me to look at and I jumped on it immediately. I was ready to hit the ground running with this new job. Nothing was going to stop me from being successful.