CHAPTER
“Enjoy your meal. Is there anything else I can get you?”
I stare at the plate of eggs before me dubiously. It’s just the way I always like them, fluffy, yellow with a sprinkle of shredded cheddar cheese, onions and green bell peppers. Why then is my stomach pitching at the thought of eating? The cloying scent of the egg mixed with the aroma of bacon on Axel’s plate, leave ready to gag.
“Is everything okay, Mrs. Ash?” the housekeeper asked, seeing my grimace. “The eggs aren’t to your liking?”
Mrs. Johnson is our new housekeeper and cook. We hired her last week when I started my project on renovating my office. With not much time to look about the affairs of the estate, I’d hired her to run the place with the aid of a servant or two that she saw fit to get to help with the cleaning. Axel had taken care of the groundmen.
A pleasant woman, a bit stocky in frame with a handsome face and an easygoing banter, we could have never gotten a better housekeeper. I’d been hesitant at first, not sure how I would feel about someone else doing my chores and tasks but I am adapting quickly, enjoying the freedom it gives me to get the renovation of my office done. So much still needs to be done.
“Everything is fine Mrs. Johnson,” I convince her with a smile and she nods and leaves.
I’m aware Axel is observing me so although I don’t want the eggs, I fork some in my mouth. I contain the gag and grimace and swallow. It doesn’t settle in a good way.
“What do you have planned for the day?” he asks me. “How are the renovations coming along? I might pop in on you today.”
“It’s going fine,” I answer. I’m finishing up the wall painting today. The carpeting should arrive tomorrow and the furniture.”
“I still don’t know why you didn’t hire a painter,” he mumbles. “That’s what they are there for. I don’t like the idea of you climbing…babe are you okay?”
No I’m not okay. I’d shoveled another forkful of eggs in my mouth and could feel the bile rising. Oh no, I don’t want to do this with Axel around. What if he becomes as suspicious as I am about throwing up? I bolt up from the chair and run towards the bathroom downstairs. I barely get there in time to flip the lid of the toilet and throw up. Everything comes gushing out from the dinner we’d had last night.
Shit. I started throwing up a couple days ago but always out of Axel’s presence. I really should take that pregnancy test but I’m crippled with fear at the thought of carrying a baby inside me. It’s not that I don’t love kids but I haven’t had much practice being around any and the last thing I want to do is be a shitty parent.
I’m washing out my mouth with mouthwash when Axel walks into the bathroom and stands by the door. He’s looking at me intently but I avoid his eyes in the mirror. What do I say to him? I think I’m pregnant? That for the life of me I can’t remember the last time I had seen my period? I was so caught up in our whirlwind of a romance that I never gave thought to it. I can’t recall having my period since the first time Axel and I had sex. I might have but I really can’t tell.
“I’m taking you to the doctor,” Axel announces. “Before I drop you at the office.”
“I don’t need to go to the doctor,” I respond, still not looking at him.
“Yes we are. We need to find out how far along you are although I should suspect at least two months.”
I gasp and spin around to face him. He suspects!
“What are you talking about?” I ask, calling his bluff.
“I know you’re pregnant, Joyce,” he replies calmly. “I’ve just been waiting for you to accept it.”
“You can’t know that for sure.”
“Do you have irregular periods?” he ask, making me blush.
“No.”
“And you’ve never had your menses since we’ve been together,” he points out.
“What? You’re checking up on me?”
“No but it’s not hard to miss.”
“And you’re not mad?” I ask him. He is so calm while I’m nearly freaking out.
“Why would I be mad? You think I didn’t know I was having unprotected sex with you? I’ve never once worn a condom with you Joyce and I know you probably never even gave thought to handle it on your side.”
“I didn’t,” I answer honestly. “But that means…you wanted this?”
He comes up to me and wraps his arms around my waist. “Yes. I want to watch your bell swell with my child. With our looks, our baby will be gorgeous.”
I roll my eyes at his comment. “Conceited much?”
He chuckles. “Just stating the obvious sweetheart. Go get dressed for the office while I try to get us an appointment today.”
I nod because it’s useless to argue with him so I walk out of his arms and quickly take the stairs. In our bedroom, I close the door and lean heavily against it. Pregnant with Axel’s baby. He is already confining as it is. I’d never be able to breathe without sharing the same air with his bodyguards if I’m indeed pregnant.
Not sure how to feel about carrying an Ash baby, I get dressed slowly, slipping out of my robe to put on a pair of faded jeans and T-shirt, perfect for the work I have to do today. I plan to finish the one wall and clean up as best as possible to make the place presentable for the delivery men to arrange the furniture.
Since Axel had originally planned to be in the office earlier than I planned to leave, he is already dressed. I met him in the hall and he proceeds to take my bag and walk me to the car. The drive to the doctor’s office consists of a one-sided conversation on Axel’s part as he talks about all he wants for our baby. By the time we get to the office which he boasts of being the best in Seattle, I’m overwhelmed.
“Good morning, welcome to Dr. Brandt’s office,” the nurse at the front desk greets us. “Do you have an appointment?”
The pretty blonde nurse is staring up at Axel so much that it makes my hackles rise. What a disrespectful way for her to openly admire my husband without even looking my way.
“Good morning. Yes, we do Mr. & Mrs. Ash.”
She blinks at the sound of Axel’s voice. “Excuse me?”
Inside I’m fuming and it pisses me off more that I’m exhibiting signs of jealousy but I’ve never been a jealous person before.
“He says we are Mr. and Mrs. Ash,” I clarify for her stressing our titles and she tears her eyes away from him finally to look my way. “We have an appointment with Dr. Brandt.”
“Ok, umm,” she looks into what I assume is the appointment book while Axel is grinning at me like a damn fool. “Okay, if you can just finish this form for me please with your information, then we’ll take your vitals. By the time you’re through, the doctor should be finished with the patient he is with now.”
“Thank you.” I take the form from her and we find a seat where I fill out the information.
“Good to know you’re territorial over your man,” Axel states sitting beside me.
“Don’t start,” I caution him and start to fill out the form. My nerves get the better of me and I write my maiden name for my current surname and have to send Axel to get a new form.
“Hey, you don’t have to freak out about the baby,” he tried to comfort me. “You’ll be a great mom and I’ll be there beside you every step of the way.”
His words aren’t reassuring. I hand in the form back to the nurse and she takes my height, weight, temperature and a urine sample. We have to wait an additional ten minutes before we are told to enter examination room three.
“I’m Dr. Brandt,” the doctor, a tall slender man with red hair and his forties, greets us with a handshake when we enter the room. “You must be Mr. and Mrs. Ash. Have a seat.”
“Congrats, the result is positive,” the doctor gets straight to the point.
“I knew it!” Axel exclaims and kisses me right there in front of the doctor in exuberance. I barely stop myself placing my hand over my tummy in awe. A life is growing inside me. I’m scared at the thought.
“When did you miss your period?” Dr. Brandt asks. “We need to work out when’s your delivery date.”
Delivery date? Whoa, we are going way too fast here. I’ve not yet accepted the fact I’m going to be a mother yet.
Still in a semblance of shock, Axel answers accurately the month before he and I met. He raises an eyebrow for confirmation and I nod.
“Not to worry, we’ll do a proper ultra sound and get the date,” the doctor announces. “If the date you gave is correct, you’d actually be anywhere between ten and twelve weeks pregnant. If you return in the next four weeks for the ultra sound, it’s possible we can also reveal the gender of your baby.”
“Yes, that’s perfect,” Axel speaks up and I realize then that he’s dominated this visit at every turn while I’m sitting like the dumb pregnant wife. I don’t mind so I allow him to take the information the doctor gives him for prenatal vitamins and schedule the appointment for the 4D ultrasound.
Everything is surreal as we walk out the doctor’s office. Axel is over the moon with excitement and wants to should it to the world. We’re having a baby. I smile wanly at him when he drops me at my office and advises me to call him if I need anything and he would be there to pick me when I’m ready to leave.
I’m glad when he’s gone. Instead of starting the painting as I initially planned to do, I drop onto the old couch in the office which is the only piece of furniture inside. My hand goes to my tummy. Do I notice any difference? Is my waist already thickening? I think about the changes that my body will be going through. I think about what will await me in giving birth and I’m scared. It’s worse I’ve never had anyone close to me to learn from their experience. I feel as though a bomb has been landed in my lap and I have no idea how to detonate it.