CHAPTER
I toss and turn all night and it’s more than the heartburn that has become a characteristic of my pregnancy. The thought of Axel meeting up with Jack doesn’t sit right with me. Axel is hopeful about it, longing for his old friend to return to himself when they’d just met but I’m not sure if Jack can change after all Axel had told me about him.
All sorts of crazy thoughts are going through my mind in the middle of the night. What if Jack is just trying to draw Axel out so he could harm him? I start to sweat and have to ease from beneath Axel’s arm to go to the bathroom and take a shower. The cool water feels good on my body but prompts me more into wakefulness. After about half an hour trying to get myself into a better frame of mind to sleep, I return to the bedroom.
Taking Axel’s phone from the bedside table, I return to the bathroom and sit on the closed toilet as I unlock his phone and go through his messages. This is the last thing I’d ever expected myself to be doing but when I believe he is in danger I have no apology for it.
The fact he hasn’t changed the security pattern although he knows I’m aware of what it is, makes me feel happy. I trust him not to be with any other woman. He loves me and I don’t believe he would ever cheat on me. Not after all he’d gone through to get me in the first place.
There’s only one message from Jack that asks Axel to call him but I find a call placed by Axel to him that went on for almost an hour. If only I could replay that conversation.
Seeing all the missed calls from Jack, I’ve an idea and check Axel’s voicemail. Since his setting is for new messages to be played first, I listen to the voicemails from Jack asking them to meet up for old time’s sake and discuss. Those seem normal but instinct prompt me to listen to all the messages and they are a lot. My blood runs cold to hear some of the threatening messages.
“You must be feeling smug, don’t you Axel? You’ve got my life. Everything I’ve ever wanted. The business, money, a hot wife. And what am I left with? Nothing. Nobody wants to do business with me anymore and it’s your fault. You killed my business and I’m going to take away something precious from you. Now just for me to decide, your life or the life of your new bride? What do you think?”
Another similar voice message makes me even more alarmed.
“Just saw you with your wife. So easy to empty a few rounds in you and watch her scream from your brain splattered all over her.”
The violent threat has me throwing up into the toilet. I’m so loud it’s a wonder I don’t wake up Axel. When I am left feeling limp, without an ounce of energy left, I wash out my mouth and return to the bedroom. I replace his phone and slip into bed beside him. He immediately rolls over to face me, and reaches out for me, pulling me up against his body.
I press my eyes closed tightly and swallow the sob that is in my throat. I’ll not lose him. Whatever happens, I would not lose Axel to that monster. My grip tighten on him as I fall asleep.
The next morning, when I wake up, Axel is already ready for work. I’m up late because I had so much trouble falling asleep last night. I sit up in bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. He hears my rustling and turns around from the mirror as he fixes his tie.
“Good morning, sunshine,” he greets me, walking over to the bed to give me a kiss on the cheek.
“What time is it?” I ask him.
“Seven forty-five,” he answers. “Or thereabout.”
I groan, throwing back the covers. “Why didn’t you wake me? No way I’m going to be able to get to work in time.”
“You’re the boss,” he states. “Delegate responsibility to those who work for you. And sleep in a little.”
“My poor assistant already has so much to do,” I tell him and walk over to him to brush an imaginary lint from his jacket. “Axel.”
“Hmm?”
“How about you not go to see Jack.”
“What?” He looks down on me.
“I don’t think you should go to see Jack,” I remark. “I think it’s a bad idea Axel. Jack cannot be trusted. What if he is trying to lure you to do something bad to you.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.”
I hate the way he simply brushes off my concern but expects me to take his seriously.
“How do you know he doesn’t have something up his sleeve?” I enquire in irritation.
“Even if he does, I can take care of myself, baby.”
“Don’t baby me,” I snap at him. “You’re not taking me seriously Axel. I think he would hurt you.”
“I dare him to try,” he says stubbornly.
“Why won’t you listen to me?” I press. “Now you’re the one being pig-headed. You can’t go to see him, Axel. Better yet, why don’t you file a restraining order against him and leave the matter in the hands of the law.”
“Because Jack doesn’t care about the law,” he replies angrily. “Drop the subject, Joyce.”
“I will not drop the subject,” I refuse and run to the door to block his path. I point at him. “You need to listen to me. You’re always complaining that I don’t listen to you but you don’t do it either.”
“I’m a man Joyce. You don’t get to tell me what to do and not to do.”
“Of all the sexist remarks that you’ve ever made that has to beat them all!” I exclaim. “Jack is a threat to you and you need to avoid him, not provide yourself as open bait.”
“You don’t understand anything about a man’s affairs, Joyce. Sometimes we have to bump fists to get the point across to the other. And if that’s what Jack wants, then I’m prepared to give him just that.”
“Why are you being so stubborn?” I cry in frustration, tears of anger filling my eyes. “Can’t you see I’m simply worried about you and what that psychopath actually has planned.”
“I can handle myself Joyce. I’m not a defenseless female.”
His comment only makes me mad. He walks up to me to get me out the way but I surprise him by hitting at his chest with my fists.
“If you meet him I’ll leave you!” I shout at him. “I swear it Axel. If you don’t promise me that you won’t see Jack, I’ll pack all my shit and leave.”
His blue eyes turn steely cold. “Don’t you dare threaten me, woman. If you know what’s good for you, your ass will be parked here before I get off this evening or I swear…”
“You swear what?” I hit him again. “What are you going to do when I leave you Axel? You know you can’t live without me. If I leave you, you know nothing else can fill your life the way I do. Please.”
“Move, Joyce!”
“No!” I refuse, grabbing his jacket. “Please don’t go. I’m not joking Axel. I’m not going to sit by and watch you give yourself over to Jack Petersen to murder you in cold blood. I’d rather leave you!”
“You’re being unreasonable!” he shouted. “Nothing is going to happen to me.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Move Joyce!”
When I refuse, he easily plucks me off my feet and place me on my feet out of the way. I launch myself onto him, grabbing hold of his jacket. If he would only listen to me and stop playing the hero, he would realize what I’m saying makes perfect sense. But Axel would never give me credit that I know what I’m talking about. He always has to be the protector, the alpha male while I should play the slow-witted wife.
“Joyce, for God’s sake woman!”
“If you go…”
Axel shakes off my hands and I’m pulling so hard that I lose momentum to find myself suddenly loose from him. I stumble, trying to regain my balance and fall.
You’re a good for nothing just like your ma! My father’s voice echoes in my ear as he pushes me hard into the wall, blinding pain searing through my skull. Blackness threatens to engulf me.
“Joyce! Oh my God!” Axel’s voice penetrates my haze and I recoil from his touch as he tries to assist me to my feet. “Are you okay baby?”
“Don’t touch me!” I cry and get to my feet, stepping away from him. “I’ll be gone before you get home.”
“Joyce, don’t be stupid.”
“I’m leaving you Axel,” I inform him stiffly, stepping back from him. “Go make your bed with Jack. I wish I’d never met you!”
The words which slip from my mouth were ones of hurt, desperation and anger that keeping him here arguing with me, will give me some more time to convince him to listen to me.
“Suit yourself,” he says coldly.
“I hate you,” I lie but his face taut with anger, he heads out of the bedroom and march stiffly down the stairs. My hands cover my mouth to stifle my sobs and cries from him. I want to bed him one last time to stay but I won’t. I’m sick and tired of him not listening to me. Sick of this one-sided relationship and sick of him manhandling me.
He is just like my dad. Rough and abusive. He’d let me fall by… pushing me?
Confused between him and what my father, I am not quite sure what had happened between us just now but I do know I am not going to be here when he returns.