29

 

Scanning the shadows, Jarek locked the garage door behind him and started across the back yard. The house was dark. He’d wanted Cali to ride with him to drop his mom off at Sandy’s, but she’d insisted on giving them time alone. What was it she thought they needed to talk about that they couldn’t in front of her? His mom was a pretty sharp shooter. The hostas rustled. He froze, ears straining and gaze sweeping the fence lines. A black cat slunk across the yard, its white chest and paws vivid in the gloom. Jarek let out his held breath. Better a black cat than a Louisville Slugger.

Stepping up on the back porch, he closed the lid on the grill. Cali had been quiet during dinner, leaving him and his mom to carry the conversation. Luckily Mrs. M had seemed intent on selling the charms of Florida. Anywhere away from Benny sounded good right now. He paused with his hand on the screen door. Would that be the best thing? He glanced back toward the garage. He’d put a lot of work into the place. On the other hand, he didn’t doubt he could get his money out of it. There had to be construction jobs in Florida. His boss knew people all over the country. He would put in a good word. He rubbed a hand over the stubble on his chin. Was he really thinking about this?

The click of the lock startled him. The inside door squeaked as it swung open. Cali peered up at him, her gray eyes cautious.  

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just enjoying our oasis. You want to join me?”

Her eyes flickered past him, searching the shadows like it was a trick. He opened the screen door, prepared to go inside with her, but she stepped out. Ignoring the padded chairs, she sat down on the edge of the deck. He plopped down beside her.

“Benny has a black eye. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

“Nope. I can’t take credit for that,” he said, sweeping the shadows again. “When did you see that?”

“When he came into the restaurant.”

“Maybe Lucky paid him a visit.”

“If he did, he was a lot nicer than he was to you.”

He didn’t know what to say to that.

“I’m sorry about your nose earlier.”

“We talked about that. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“It was cool of you to cover with your mom.”

“That was between us. I know you were joking when I went to answer the door, but I’m not going to cry to my mommy, or share your stories.”

“That’s decent of you.”

“Is that why you were so quiet tonight? Did you expect me to bring that stuff up?”

Cali released her hair from the ponytail and leaned forward to scrub her hands through it.

“I was thinking. It’s funny. One of the things I was thinking was that I’m not very good at this relationship stuff. I’m sorry if I offended your mom.”

“You didn’t. She was just worried at how quiet you were.”

“I just thought it was weird that she would include me in an invitation to Florida. We don’t know if we’re going to be together next week, let alone come winter.”

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

“What kind of question is that? Why would we be? People break up all the time. People way more together than we are, or at least I am. How long until you get tired of my drama?”

He turned, making sure he had her gaze. “I get that it’s easier to lash out and push me away than to sit around and wait for me to do it, but that’s not going to happen.”

“You sound awfully sure,” she whispered.

“Strays have to stick together. We belong together.”

“You could pass for pedigreed. You have your shit together.”

“You keep saying that, but we all have our good times and our bad. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Even those so called normal people.”

“Sometimes my life is ugly,” she choked out, turning away.

He caught her chin and turned her face back to his. “Your ghosts don’t scare me. I have ones of my own. We’re stronger together.”

“You have an answer for everything, Kaminski,” she whispered, pressing her face against the side of his neck. “Sometimes I like that about you.”

Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her tight. Cali clung to him, fingers clutching onto the back of his shirt. He kissed her temple.

“We’ll figure something out. I promise.”

 

 

The yellow and white bikini looked smoking with her cutoffs. It took a lot of self-control to keep his eyes on the road. Feet up on the dashboard, Cali grooved to the music as he navigated Chicago traffic. With it being the holiday weekend, it was worse than usual. He was glad they weren’t trying to get to the Navy Pier or any of the well-known tourist traps. All they wanted was a couple of yards of sand on Lake Michigan to call their own for the day.

With a little searching and a lot of luck, they found a parking spot. He tossed his Bear’s towels over one shoulder and grabbed the cooler. Cali carried a cheap beach bag bulging with snacks, suntan lotion and other bullshit she and his mom were sure they needed. She danced beside him when they stepped out onto the sand.

“I can’t believe we’re here,” she said, her voice carrying all the excitement of a kid.

“Where do you want to set up home base?”

She bladed a hand over her eyes to scan the beach. “Over there. Off the beaten path, but not miles from the clubhouse.”

Obediently heading in the direction she had indicated, his mind wandered back to the house. Packing up the Jeep Cali’s head had been on a swivel, eyes scanning the street. He’d prayed Benny wouldn’t show up to ruin their day. He sent up a follow-up now. The past could give them one day. So far, so good.

“Right here.”

He plopped the cooler where the boss pointed and spread the blue and orange beach towels over the hot sand.

“Perfect,” she said, kicking off her sandals and shorts before stepping daintily onto her towel.

Organizing their staked claim, he tucked her shorts into the bag and leaned it against the cooler.

“I love the sound of the waves and the smell of the water,” she said, stretching out on her belly so she could watch the waves roll in. Her feet kicked in the air.

“It’s peaceful. Enjoy it now before we're overrun by screaming kids.”

Cali laughed. “It can’t compare to the chaos of the neighborhood pool during a heatwave.”    

He flopped down beside her. “I do love the lake. It can be perfect no matter your mood.”

“And what kind of mood are you in today?” she asked, head turning toward him.

He couldn’t see her eyes through her sunglasses. He hadn’t realized how much he counted on those silver-gray guides to Cali’s thoughts. He washed memories of dark skies and brooding on the shore away and focused on the light of today.

“I’m in a mood to just kick back and relax with my hot woman.”

Cali snorted, but her grin looked pleased. “Not too skimpy?” she asked, slipping a finger in the elastic of her bottoms to tug them down.

“Perfectly cheeky,” he teased. “Seriously, you look beautiful.”

“Thanks, for dealing with the traffic. For all of this. I enjoy spending time with you no matter what we’re doing, but this is awesome.”

“Right back at you. And your smile today makes it all worthwhile.”

“Listen to you with the compliments. We’re on a crowded beach, Kaminski. You aren’t getting any.”

He leaned over to nuzzle her ear. “But I did this morning.”

Cali’s laugh rang over the sand. “Bond shower christened.”

“Amen to that,” he said with a grin. “It wasn’t even Sunday and you yelled God’s name a couple of times.”

“Don’t get too smug. I might have just been praying your ribs held up.”

He pounced. Rolling Cali onto her back, he kissed her through their laughter. “You’re a brat,” he murmured against her lips.

“You like it.”

“I do,” he admitted, still smiling as he kissed her again.

Cali stroked her hands over his shoulders, looping her arms around his neck. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

“Oh, I can finish it.”

She giggled. “Then don’t start something we’re going to get arrested for finishing.”

“That could be a problem.”

Little feet pounded past them, throwing up sand in their wake. A shadow fell over the towels.

“Sorry about that.”

Jarek glanced up at the harried mother but it was Cali that put the woman’s fears to rest.

“No problem. Enjoy your day, and good luck.”

“I will if I can keep from drowning them, I mean them from drowning, until my husband gets here,” the woman said, rolling her eyes as she raced after the little terrors.

“Slip of the tongue, or brutal truth?” he asked, looking down at Cali.

Her lips pursed as the mother yelled after the threesome. “I’m going with the second.”

“Good guess.”

He brushed the sand off the edge of her towel and flopped back onto his. Cali’s hand crept over, pinky hooking over his. Squeezing gently, they let the sun beat down on their backs and watched the waves roll in. With the sun’s rays baking and arms started to protest the position, they flipped over onto their backs and turned so they could still face the water. Wadding up one of the sweatshirts he’d brought for later, he tucked it under her neck as a pillow.

“Thank you.”

“It’ll cost you,” he said, stealing a kiss.

“You’re cheap.”

“Then you don’t value them the way I do.”

“Where do you get your sweet streak? Is that Mrs. M too?”

He shrugged, wishing he could see her eyes. “It’s just the truth.”

She didn’t turn away. He stared at his reflection in her sunglasses wondering what she saw when she looked at him. 

“I lo…I’m lucky,” she said and rolled to her feet. “I’m going to cool off.”

Dropping her sunglasses on the towel, she sprinted for the water before he could get his brain in gear. Had she almost said she loved him? If he had been a betting man, he would have staked his next paycheck on it. A grin spread across his face as he watched Cali splash into the water. He loved her too.  

 

 

Chin resting on top of her head, Jarek breathed in the scent of Cali’s shampoo mixed with lake water and sunshine. Gloom fell over Lake Michigan and the boom of mortars echoed as they did the final setup for the show. Things hadn’t been weird when she came back from her swim. The day had been perfect. Sun, swim, eat, and repeat. What more could they have asked for?

Cheers rose along the beach as a test shot exploded in showers of shimmery red and gold overhead. Cali squeezed his arms even tighter around her in excitement. Her joy hadn’t wavered all day. She was like a kid, taking pleasure in the simplest of things. He was glad. This was something he could give her. Other than a little gas and maybe a picnic lunch, a trip to the Lake was free. Her smile was priceless.

She tilted her head back and kissed the bottom of his chin. “Thank you for staying.”

They’d overheard another couple arguing. She’d wanted to stay for the show and he’d wanted to beat the traffic. If it had been his woman the disappointment on her face would’ve made Jarek suck it up and stay. Her man hadn’t been as soft hearted.         

“No problem. The jerk was un-American.”

The dull thud of multiple mortars going off, brought a hush to the crowd. Cheers interspaced with oohs and ahhs broke the night air as cascades of red, white and blue showered down over the water. Tube after tube fired, keeping the sky lit with colorful sprays of fiery rain that held the crowd in awe with their beauty. Kids howled as some exploded, the echo rolling ominously through the darkness. In his arms, Cali whispered her approval of these thunderous booms and saved her loudest exclamations for showers of green and gold.

Neither kids nor adults were ready when the night sky finally went dark after the grand finale. A moment of silence stretched over the beach before a full-throated roar of appreciation and patriotism rose. He hugged Cali tight. She leaned her head back for a kiss. Breaking it reluctantly, he helped her up as people started streaming past them. The crowd heading for the parking lot was relaxed for the most part, but there were always those people in a hurry. He jerked his head to the side as he was jostled and almost lost an eye to the tip of an umbrella. He was glad he had made the trip to the Jeep earlier with their stuff. Cali gave a muffled yelp beside him. Hopping awkwardly on one foot, she grimaced rubbing her toes.

“Did I get you?” he asked in concern.

Lips pressed into a thin line she shook her head and hooked a thumb at a group of laughing twenty-somethings. One had a beer can in his hand despite the clearly posted rules. The rest didn’t look too sober. Jarek shook his head.

“Come here.” Ignoring the pressing bodies, he bent his knees and boosted her easily onto his back. “There you go. Toes safe.” 

Cali giggled as he bounced her lightly. “You’re awesome.”

He smiled as she hooked her chin over his shoulder. The trek to the Jeep didn’t take that long. He was sorry the piggyback ride was over. Depositing her in the passenger seat, he climbed in and joined the line of cars waiting to head for home.

“Have you ever thought of living somewhere besides Chicago?” he asked as they idled.

“I don’t know. Maybe when I was reading a book I might have wondered what it would be like to live in that place or even time. But not seriously. Do you?”

“I’ve started to lately.”

“Was it the blow to the head?”

“Either that or getting a TV and starting to watch the news,” he chuckled.

“Where would you go?” she asked, turning on the seat to face him. 

“I was thinking more like we. So, I hadn’t really decided.”

“You want me to move with you?”

“You don’t have to say it like it’s the craziest idea you’ve ever heard,” he grumbled.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she said, voice softening. “It just surprised me is all. I mean this whole conversation. You have a good job and a house that is going to be amazing when you’re done with it. Why would you want to give all that up?”

“Construction work isn’t that tough to find if you know the right people. As to the house, I could sell it and get my money out of it and then some with the work I’ve done. We could go someplace and start over without ghosts.”

“Someplace without Benny,” she said flatly.

“Would that be so bad?”

She turned back in the seat, looking out the windshield. They inched forward in traffic. He stole a look at her profile. Was it really that crazy of an idea? Benny had a sick fascination with Cali. He wasn’t going to listen to reason and there was no guarantee that kicking his ass would do anything more than make him more determined to hurt her. Looking at the taillights around them, Jarek sighed. There weren’t a lot of options. Letting Benny continue to terrorize Cali wasn’t one he could live with.

“I wasn’t trying to make decisions for you, Cal. It was a thought I was tossing out there to discuss.”

“Is that what you think I’m pissed off about?”

The forced civility in her tone made him take pause and consider his answer. He had no idea what she was pissed off about, but she’d just confirmed that she was.

“I didn’t have any choice when they yanked me away from my mom and stuck me in foster care. I didn’t have a choice when I was dumped off with the Johnsons. When he … some of the things that happened, I didn’t have much of a choice because I knew that if I fought or ran, things would just get worse,” she whispered, still staring out the windshield. “Then I ran, and things got better. So much better. I met you. I won’t lie. At first, I was waiting for the other shoe to fall. Then I realized that you really are this amazing guy that not only survived the hell, but climbed out of it and are making a real life for yourself.”

“I want that life to be for us,” he interrupted, not liking where her confession was going.

“As selfish as it is, so do I,” she whispered. “And I hate Benny for trying to take that away from me.”

“The point is, that you do have a choice now. Don’t let him or fear make it for you.”

“If you leave town isn’t that what we’re doing?”

Jarek blew out a breath. That had backfired. “We would get to decide where we’re going and be taking control of our lives instead of sitting around waiting for his next move.”

“Why would you do that for me?”

“I thought that was fairly obvious. I love you.”

Cali’s head whipped around. Panic widened her gray eyes but there was nowhere to run this time. As if reading his thoughts, her fingers wrapped around the door handle.

“Please don’t jump out in traffic.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not safe, and I would probably get ticketed for abandoning my vehicle and causing more of a traffic mess.”

“Not that, weirdo,” she said with an exasperated sigh. “Why do you love me?”

“That’s an easy one. Because you’re funny, strong, beautiful and on top of all that, you love me.”

“I do?”

“You do. You started to say it earlier. Plus, you show it in a lot of little ways and some not so little. I know what it costs to trust. And you trust me.”  

“That’s deep, Dr. Phil.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, waiting. He knew he was right, but would she be brave enough to admit it? She looked down at the door handle. He held his breath.

“Let’s say I do love you and I agree to this crazy plan. What if things don’t go the way you want in the new city? Then you get frustrated and start to resent me. We both know where feelings like that lead. I might have to look over my shoulder now, but I’m not going to be with a man that I dread walking through the door at night.”

“I would never hurt you.”

“And I want to believe that. But if you left all of this because of me,” she said shaking her head. “You would. And isn’t that what they all say?”

“No. They say, I didn’t mean to hurt you. You made me do it. It won’t happen again. I promise. That’s what they say after they hurt you. I’m telling you I never will. Not once. I know what it feels like to be the one getting hit or being told they’re worthless. I won’t do that.”

“Do you think it’s a coincidence that the cycle of abuse continues? It’s what we know.”

“Because it’s common doesn’t mean certain. I get what you’re saying. You don’t want to be like Carol, trapped in a relationship where you dread your man coming home and have to gauge his moods and dodge his fists,” Jarek said, watching her reflection in the window. “I don’t want to be Benny. Not only do I not want to be that man, I don’t want to see the fear in your eyes.  I want you to be happy to see me. If we ever have kids I want them to run and meet me at the door, not hide and pray, out of sight, out of mind.”

That got her to look at him. “Kids?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. Someday.”

“You dream big, Kaminski.”

“So do you when you allow yourself.”

Cali smiled. “Is that hall tree still in the plans for the front entry?”

“If it makes you smile like that, we’ll look at wood for it when we go to pick out your bathtub.”

She bit her lip and nodded. “That’s just it. I have a lot of dreams for that house. I can see it taking years of us working on it together. Just a little at a time.” She met his eyes. “I like working with you.”

“We make a good team.”

“I don’t want to give that up.”

“Then we won’t,” he said simply. “It was never set in stone, Cal. It was a suggestion I was throwing out there. We will always make decisions together.”

She looked down, shaking her head with a small smile. “You have a lot of crazy ideas about the way relationships work.”

“Would you rather I beat my chest, swagger around and tell you the way things are going to be?”

“No. Except maybe for the swagger,” she said, peeking up at him. “You do have a sexy confidence about you when you strap on your tool belt.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Checking his mirrors, he raised a hand in thanks as another driver allowed him to merge into their lane.

“You know, just because you don’t act like a macho asshole all the time doesn’t mean I think you’re not manly.”

“Thank you. I think.”

Cali laughed. “You’re sexy and sweet and I love the fact that you make me laugh.”

“I do too.”

“I know if you’re there that you can more than handle Benny.”

The conversation got heavy again. His jaw clenched as he nodded.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I can’t live in fear. I’m confident I can defend myself or get away from him, as long as I see him coming,” she continued. “I just need to stay aware.”

“My first impulse is to snarl that you shouldn’t have to be aware, but the sad truth is we all have to be aware and women more than men.”

“I like that you wish it didn’t have to be that way, but yes.”

“So, you don’t want to move?”

“I really don’t,” she whispered.

“Then we won’t. We’ll stay and fight.”

“Make a home and be happy. That’s supposed to be the best revenge, right?”

“That’s what they say.”

“You know I really love … your water pressure, right?”

“Now you’re just fucking with me.”

Cali’s eyes sparkled in the dim lights. She leaned over to nuzzle his ear. “I do love you, Kaminski.”

He grinned. She bit his ear.

“Don’t look so smug.”

“Not smug, happy.”

“Mmm … happy you’re allowed,” she whispered, kissing behind his ear. 

“Good thing, because it’s your fault.”

“I’ll accept that.”

“You’re going to have to,” he muttered, forcing his eyes to stay open and on traffic as she kissed down the tendon in the side of his neck.

“Why me?”

“Because you’re funny, strong, gorgeous, and you’re doing that,” he groaned as her hand slid down the inside of his thigh.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cali’s lips curve in a smile that was definitely smug.

“Have mercy. These swim trunks don’t offer much protection.”

“Are you saying you can’t be held responsible if your nail gun goes off?”

A bark of laughter leapt from his throat. “No, ma’am. That would be totally my fault. But if I get in an accident because you’re playing with my … nail gun … while I’m driving, that might be your fault.”

“That’s fair,” she giggled, moving her hand back to safer territory. “But, when we get home, I think we should take a shower to get the sunscreen and sand off us. That sand has a way of getting into all the uhh … cracks and crevices and we want to take good care of our tools.”

“The jets in the Bond shower should come in handy for that.” 

“I like the way your mind works.”

She left her hand on top of his thigh as he cleared the heavier traffic and wove their way into the maze of Southside neighborhoods. He couldn’t help watching Cali out of the corner of his eye. She looked beautiful sprawled in the passenger seat, singing along with the radio. She loved him. He grinned. Know it or not, he had loved hearing it. After the breakup … if that was even the right word for how things had gone down with Alyssa … Mrs. M had told him that when the right one came along, he would know it. Sure, it was trite advice repeated by everyone, but the love in her eyes had promised him it was true.

He’d known that first morning after the tornado that he had found someone that could understand him. He hadn’t wanted to let her go. A little part of him, more than he wished to admit, had been happy when she struck out with Nat and the potential landlord that day. It had been like the universe was on his side for once. The actual offer to move in had come out of left field, but he couldn’t deny the subconscious thoughts had been there.

Cali twisted in her seat as they turned onto their street.

“The blue tarp house got a new roof finally.”

He started to look in the rearview mirror, but flashing lights down the block grabbed his attention. The strobe of emergency lights reflected wildly off windows and cars along the street. His stomach twisted in a knot of dread. People craned their necks from their front porches, trying to get a look, while others gathered on the sidewalk near the ambulance and police car in front of his house. Terror flooded him as he nailed the gas. Mom!