It had been a long break from school. She had missed the second semester and had only taken one class during the summer to try and give herself time to recover. Even walking to one class left her fatigued and short of breath over the summer, but now she had to take a full load.

Hannah sat in the front room going over her class list meticulously, marking the classes on a map to show where each one was located and how long it took to get from class to class.

“Did you get that elective that you were wanting?” Tracy brushed her hair while she talked to Hannah. The boar bristles expanded the curls, making her hair soft and shiny.

“The dance class? Yeah, I got it.” Hannah barely glanced up from her work.

“I never pictured you as a dancer.”

“You know I’m not,” Hannah laughed. “I’ve got two left feet. I feel bad for the men that have to dance with me. I’m gonna step on all of them and probably knock them on their butts too.”

“I can see it now,” Tracy said in a dramatic tone, “Local man sues over klutzy science nerd breaking his toes and tailbone.”

“It’s not funny,” Hannah whined with mock hurt. “That’s probably what will happen!”

They both broke out into giggles as they pictured the disaster that would follow any attempt at syncopated or rhythmic movements.

Tracy’s tone took on a serious note. “How are you feeling though?”

“I’m alright. I’m not as tired as I used to be. And I’ve been able to eat a bit more than before.”

“I was worried about that. You still kind of look like a stick figure. I just kept wanting to feed you a sandwich.”

“I’m getting there!” The last thing she needed was another mother pestering with how to take care of herself. As everything stood, Paige called Hannah almost every day and asked for a detailed report on her activity level and her eating habits.

Hannah had redirected her attention back to her work when Tracy decided to pester her further. “You call Simon back yet?”

Irritation and something akin to shame welled up in Hannah's chest. “No, and I don’t plan to either. I already told you this.” Tracy hadn’t let up about Simon ever since she got back to the apartment.

“He’s been bugging me every couple days,” Tracy complained. “I told him you were doing alright, but he wants to talk to you. Says he needs to apologize. You never told me why and I’m dying to know.”

This conversation had become semi-regular and Hannah was starting to get sick of it. When would Tracy give this up? Probably never.

Throwing her hands up in resignation she said, “Fine! I’ll tell you. You are driving me crazy.”

Tracy just grinned at her, pleased as punch that she had gotten her way. Hannah immediately regretted giving in, but had to tell her roommate about the proposal.

“He proposed to me at the hospital, in front of my mom before the surgery.”

Before she could finish, Tracy was making a ruckus with all of her questions and exclamations.

“What?! He proposed to you? How? When?” And last of all, “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Exasperated with the reaction and all the feelings flowing through her, Hannah began to relay all of her feelings to Tracy without reservation. The whole weekend, her mother getting sick, how sweet Simon was and all his hand-holding. The way that he comforted her. She even told Tracy she had some feelings for him. She did however, hold back on telling Tracy how strong those feelings actually were, or that she dreamed about him almost every night.

“I was just so mad! There my mom is, and we weren’t sure if she was going to die and Simon wanted to look like a hero, so he proposed to me. Now my mom is bugging me about wedding plans and she hasn’t stopped calling me about it. I don’t know what to do! We can’t get married. I barely know the guy. So, either I break my mother’s heart and admit that I have been lying, or I somehow fake a marriage to an invisible man for the rest of my life.”

Hannah paused for a moment, seriously considering the alternative. “Could I do that? Fake a marriage?”

“NO, you cannot do that!” Tracy yelled back at her. “Are you nuts? This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard and you want to keep it going? No! You are too good for this mess. You need to just come clean with your mother. Tell her what is going on and let her know why you did it. And just call the man! He has been bugging me relentlessly and he isn’t going to stop until you call him.”

With that she took her brush and marched off to the bedroom without another word. Hannah knew what she had to do, but that didn’t make it any easier. How could she admit lying to her mother?

* * *

Simon’s leg wouldn’t stop bouncing. The chair he had chosen at the back of the room allowed him a full view of the entrance and everyone filing into class. He had come early to wait but realized that the extra time waiting only gave his mind time to panic.

A few minutes before class started, he spotted Hannah. Seeing her was like seeing the sun after a long thunderstorm. Tracy had told him over and over that she was okay, but Simon still had a fear in the back of his mind that somehow she wasn’t well. He needed to see that she was okay. It was an illogical fear, but a fear nonetheless. Perhaps not wholly illogical, as his own mother had hid her illness from him for many years. It was only when she was at the point of being unable to walk without aid that she allowed him to see her sick. Multiple Sclerosis was a mean disease. It took your control, your life, your pride. It took everything from you in the end and left you an empty shell of what you had once been.

Simon had been angry for a long time. Angry at the fact that his mother hadn’t let him take care of her and angry at a disease without a cure. But most of all he had been angry at God. Why would God do this to such a wonderful woman? That was the real reason he had stopped attending church. Of course, God had found His way back into Simon’s heart.

Simon couldn’t help but stare while Hannah walked in, removed her shoes and stood near the front of the room. She was breathtaking. She had lost a lot of weight, leaving her looking slightly ill, but Simon found her beautiful nonetheless. He had practiced what he would say in his head many times before class, but the words failed to come to him as he approached her. He tried desperately to remember the speech he had thought up over many nights of planning, but in the end just decided to say, “Hi.”

Unfortunately, the teacher walked in at that instant. “I know I’m early, don’t get used to it. My class before this is across campus. We just happened to get out early, today.” She was a slender woman with a long, swanlike neck. Her hair was tied back in a neat bun and her black clothing accentuated her features. “This class is generally used as an elective filler. While I understand this, I still expect class participation and perfect attendance.”

Her voice became a hazy drone in the back of Simon’s mind as she went through the syllabus and required information. He couldn’t help but stare at a small mole on the back of Hannah’s neck. It stood in stark contrast to her pale skin. She shifted and ran her fingers through her hair and the silken strands fell over her exposed neck. Simon fought the urge to run his fingers up her back and knot his hands in her hair. He was standing so close to her he could smell her coconut shampoo.

Suddenly, the professor was next to him speaking, and he had to figure out what she was talking about. “You there, your name?”

“Simon,” he replied.

“Simon, your partner is here,” the teacher said. “Hannah, this is Simon.”

Her wink was almost imperceptible as she passed behind Hannah’s back and on to the next set of students. At least the teacher had remembered to pair them together. Turning back to Hannah, Simon realized he may have made a mistake. He couldn’t back out now, even if this didn’t work. Hannah’s emotions were very obvious on her face. She was glaring with annoyance. She had been avoiding him all summer and he was imposing himself on her in the dance class. Simon shuffled towards her and offered an awkward smile. He was unsure what to say next.

“Did you do this on purpose?” Hannah asked.

Forgoing any pretense Simon chose honesty in his reply. “Yes. I needed to see you. I have been so worried about you. You wouldn’t return my calls. And after everything that I told you and how you feel about me too, I figured you would want to see me.”

“This is ridiculous,” Hannah said with anger in her voice. “You can’t just stalk me and decide that I have to pay attention to you.”

She marched off in the direction of the teacher. After a few moments of discussion, she returned.

“Apparently, changes cannot be made. We are stuck together.”

Simon felt immediate relief flood through him. “I’m sorry,” he said with mock sincerity.

Hannah didn’t say a word, turning her attention to the front of the room where the teacher had begun to instruct on the basics of ballroom dancing. He had one last chance to win her over. And Hannah was worth every moment he had spent on this plan.

* * *

She couldn’t believe he was there! She was going to kill Tracy. It had to be her. She was the only one that knew Hannah was taking a dance class. Hannah’s mind scrambled for the words she needed to say. She couldn’t tell him how she felt about him because she wasn’t sure she was ready for that. She had put him off for so long and he still pursued her. That had to mean something, but Hannah didn’t know how to process it.

“I might have to dance with you, but I don’t have to talk to you,” she said abruptly.

Simon just smiled in reply and took her in his arms. She pushed herself away from him but he pulled her in even closer. She could smell a light whiff of cologne, or was that just how he smelled? Hannah wasn’t sure. His accent and dreamy eyes still made her weak in the legs.

She could feel the warmth radiating off of him, and everywhere he was touching her felt alive and tingled with an unspoken anticipation. The music started and Simon stepped forward. Hannah knew she was supposed to step backwards, but instead the wrong foot responded and went forwards. Simon’s foot landed right on top of hers, and she felt herself falling over.

“Oops,” Simon said as he righted her on her feet.

“Sorry,” Hannah muttered to him.

They tried the step again and were able to get through three steps before Hannah stepped on Simon’s foot this time.

“No, no, no. Dear me,” the teacher said. She walked over and pried Simon away from Hannah.

“Dear, you need to let the man lead if you want to be able to dance.”

She put her hand just under Hannah's shoulder, holding up her arm. The position felt much more comfortable. “Simon, you need to make sure that your hand is under her shoulder blade, not on her waist.”

She moved towards Hannah, keeping her frame supported, but loose enough to bend to the movement. “Now, dear, stop fighting the lead. Close your eyes and move where I push you.”

She moved Hannah back and forth, walking toward her and away from her. Then she spun Hannah in a circle and into Simon’s arms. Like a bird in flight, Hannah felt at once free from gravity.

“Practice,” the teacher commanded.

Simon once again took her into his arms. She felt the slight pressure of his hand on hers as he stepped forward and she stepped backwards. They were able to get through the few steps the instructor taught them to do. With a satisfied smile, Hannah made the mistake of looking up at Simon.

His eyes had a look in them that, although she had never seen it before, she knew immediately. It was something deeper than attraction. It was longing and admiration. It looked like… Hannah dare not think it. She let go of him and pushed him back as if stung by something.

She saw surprise and concern swimming across his face, but she didn’t want to explain. She ran out of the classroom away from the look in his eyes. She ran until she couldn’t anymore. Falling to the ground she retched over and over again.

Dear God, I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know Your plan for me. I am afraid. I’m afraid he loves me. Do I deserve love like that?

She didn’t hear an answer.

* * *

She had been hiding in her room for the better part of the day. Her favorite sweatshirt draped comfortably around her and the warmest blanket she had was thrown over her head. The ice cream she had snuck from the freezer tasted like heaven. She felt compelled to watch episodes of Gilmore Girls over and over. This was her haven, her nirvana. After running away from Simon during class she needed an escape from reality. She knew that the relationship between them wasn’t a contest but she felt like she was losing.

She didn’t much like losing, either. Especially when the competitor was being so arrogant. Who did he think he was just showing up in her class like that? And how did he know?

It must have been Tracy. That lying, meddling ex best friend of hers. There was no way Hannah was going to allow her to maintain best friend status at this point. This was just too far. She pulled the blanket farther over her head in an attempt to shut out the world, but only managed to trap her breath in the small space, making her feel claustrophobic and slightly lightheaded.

She was watching the episode where Loralei was supposed to get married but ends up running out on the wedding. She felt a little bit like Loralei. Panicky and afraid that the commitment she saw in his eyes was the end of the road. What if he wasn’t the right one and she fell for him? What if she had already fallen? Shoving more ice cream into her mouth to get her mind off of the subject she focused on the show. She needed numbness. She wanted to stop feeling out of control.

A knock sounded on her door. Probably Tracy coming in to apologize for ruining her dance class. It was bad enough she was taking one, and only taking it at the insistence of her doctor who had told her she needed more physical activity. Now she had to deal with the humiliation of being paired with Simon. He would see how terrible she was at dancing and at some point she would need to explain to him why she had distanced herself so much from him.

“Go away!” she yelled from inside her blanket fort. Tracy wasn’t allowed in her nirvana.

“You look cute in plaid,” she heard Simon say from inside the doorway.

She threw the blanket off of her head and glared in his direction. Unfazed by her death stare, Simon stepped into the room and sat on the edge of her bed. He leaned back against the wall like he owned the place and stretched his legs out on the floor. Hannah pulled her legs up to her chest in an attempt to get herself as far away from him as possible.

“What do you want?!” She didn’t understand why he was here. She had tried to get away from him. She didn’t want him in her house. And yet, the way that he sprawled out on her bed made her think of his warm arms around her and how safe she felt when he held her.

No, stop thinking about it. You don’t need a man to be happy. You are perfectly fine on your own.

He put his hands up in an act of surrender. “I just want to talk.”

“Well I don’t!” she huffed.

The half-eaten container of Ben and Jerry’s sat in between her and Simon, begging to be finished. She wasn’t going to let him ruin her happy place. She grabbed the container and shoved another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. She didn’t even stop Gilmore Girls.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said. His eyes were sincere and his voice deep. She couldn’t look away. She wanted to stay mad, needed to stay mad.

“I’m not hurt,” she said in defiance, lifting her chin slightly.

“Well, then I guess you’re fine being my dance partner?” he said with a sly smile.

Not wanting to lose face in front of him, she sniffed once and considered what he had said. “Fine,” she said. “I guess that will be okay.”

“I really am sorry,” Simon said to her, squeezing her leg once.

Why could one touch from him make her feel like she was flying? She was supposed to be mad at him. She was supposed to be angry. Those feelings were melting away and she was having a hard time remembering why she didn’t want to dance with him.

“I am too,” she replied. And she felt it. Real regret at avoiding him. She wanted to spend time with him, not stay away from him. And obviously he wanted the same thing or he wouldn’t still be trying to get time with her.

“Why were you avoiding me? Was it just about the proposal?” Simon had a serious look on his face. He scooted closer to her. So close that she could smell that sweet scent of his. It smelled like sandalwood.

Lost in her senses, Hannah had a hard time focusing. He was much too close to her. “Well, that was part of it.”

“And the other part?” He moved closer and put his hand on her cheek.

Her lips parted slightly. She could feel his breath on her face. “I’m scared.”

He pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes with concern etched across his features. “Why are you scared?”

It took her a moment to realize that the words she needed to say would be hard to say to him. “I’m scared of how I feel about you.”

Simon leaned in close again and she felt his breath tickle her cheek. He spoke softly in her ear. “I am falling in love with you, Hannah, and I’m not going to let you go again.”

She closed her eyes, reveling in the moment. She didn’t know if he was going to kiss her again. Part of her ached for his lips moving across hers, but part of her recoiled from the intense feelings that played through her.

The moment was over and Simon jumped up off the bed without further ado. She felt a small rush of regret at not kissing him. Maybe he was waiting for her to make the first move. She wasn’t sure, but the moment had passed.

“So, guess I’ll see you next class?” Simon said with a grin.

“I guess so.” Perhaps this wasn’t such a bad idea.

As he left, he threw a comment over his shoulder. “Maybe next time you won’t step on my feet so much.”

Hannah threw herself backwards on her pillow with a sigh. He almost got away without being a punk. Almost.

* * *

He arrived early for class just so he could chat with the teacher before everyone else showed up.

“Thank you for allowing me to remain partners with Hannah. I know that was a bit of a stretch for you, but it did help.”

“Anything for true love,” the teacher said in a sing song voice.

“Oh, I didn’t say anything about true love,” Simon replied defensively.

“Well, your story was just so sweet. And you might rethink big blunders like fake proposals next time in order to avoid these types of arguments.” She winked.

“Well, anyhow, thank you for your time and for allowing me to dance with her.”

Students began to spill through the open doors, chatting and laughing with their partners. The first class had gone well and most everyone was thrilled with their assigned partners. Due to the nature of the class, it seemed that nobody present knew how to dance.

Hannah flounced into the room, rushing into the crowd of students. She threw her shoes to the side and began to search for her partner. He couldn’t help staring at her. She was absolutely stunning. Her blue shirt highlighted her curves, making his heart beat a bit faster. She spotted him from across the room and made a beeline for him.

He couldn’t read her expression. Her face was blank. “Ready?” she asked.

He nodded once and took her in his arms. The music had already started and the professor was flitting about the room giving instructions to each couple. He felt a sharp sting on his foot and winced.

“Sorry,” Hannah apologized as her cheeks flushed crimson.

“It’s alright, I wore steel-toed boots for the occasion.”

“Ha ha,” she muttered sarcastically.

Dancing with Hannah was like trying to dance with an epileptic elephant. When he pulled her in a direction she went stiff and moved only after she had stumbled. Her feet found his at every turn and she even managed to elbow him in the face. Halfway through the class Simon was feeling beat up, irritated and out of sorts.

How could he win her over if they couldn’t even dance together?

“Oh dear, oh dear,” the professor muttered as she watched them performing the steps again.

“No, no, no, you aren’t doing that right at all, dear,” she corrected. Pushing Hannah aside brusquely, she put her arms in place and grabbed Simon’s hand. “Again.”

Simon walked through the steps, ending in a turn with ease and even dipped the professor low to the ground in what he thought was a suave move.

When the professor stood, Hannah looked less than pleased with the show.

“Dear, you have to let him lead,” the teacher said simply.

Simon wasn’t sure if it was in Hannah's nature to let him lead, but if it made dancing that easy, he hoped she would find a way. She swept into his arms in one fluid movement, her gestures exaggerated. Pushing her forward slightly he felt an immediate response. Her body began to move with his in a fluid and sweeping fashion. She felt light on her feet. Then she stumbled over his foot and he caught her.

The strangest look came over her face and suddenly Hannah was pale as a sheet. Her body began to go limp so Simon tightened his grip around her. She seemed to be fading into unconsciousness, as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Her body began to spasm and shake uncontrollably and Simon realized that she was having a seizure.

“Somebody call 911,” he yelled out to the crowd. He heard noise and movement behind him and the music was shut off, but Simon kept his eyes on Hannah. He knew there was nothing that he could do to stop her seizure. He took his sweater off, folded it up and put it under her head when she lifted it from the convulsion so that her head wouldn’t hit the ground so hard.

The seizure stopped and immediately Simon checked her heart rate, her pupil dilation and attempted to wake her up. She moaned a bit and slowly came to, just as the paramedics entered the room.

“She donated her kidney to her mother at the beginning of the year. She has no past history of seizures, but just had a Grand Mal,” he informed the paramedic who was putting her onto the gurney.

“Are you her significant other?” he asked.

“No, just a close friend,” he said. “But I know her family. I want to ride with her.”

The man nodded at Simon and immediately began to wheel her out of the class. He followed close behind her, fear spreading through him as the paramedic called in the incident.

“Female early twenties, collapsed and possible Grand Mal seizure. Bringing her in to Saint Joseph’s.”

Everything seemed blurry and surreal to Simon as he followed her into the ambulance and it sped away towards the nearest hospital.