The plan was working perfectly. Simon had to make sure that he utilized this time as much as he could. Paige had told him to just open up to Hannah. To be really honest with her and tell her about his childhood and about school. To open up about his hopes and dreams and what he wanted to do with his life. Of course, she already knew a good deal about him, but there was always more to learn and tell.

This sounded terrifying, but like a good plan to Simon, as well. At least doing this she would know who he was. The drive gave him some time to work on her. He glanced over at the passenger seat. With her arms crossed over her chest she looked completely closed off to conversation. Simon wouldn’t let that stop him.

He turned on some good background music. “Hannah, are you feeling any better?”

Hannah shook her head like she was trying to wake herself from a dream. “Yeah. I’m feeling alright. Just worn out.”

“I am happy that you are feeling better.”

There was an awkward pause as neither person seemed to know what to say.

“You know this will be a long trip if we don’t chat.”

Out of the corner of his eye Simon saw Hannah sigh and nod. She seemed to be resigning herself to something.

“What do you want to talk about?” she asked him.

He was so relieved that she opened with that. “As a matter of fact I thought of some things,” he said with a wide grin.

“Did you plan talking points in advance?” She sounded relieved for some reason.

“No,” Simon lied quickly. “Maybe,” he amended.

This comment elicited a giggle from Hannah. At least he knew he was on the right track.

“So what is the first one on the list then?” Hannah asked, sitting up straight and leaning forward.

“Hmm….” Simon paused like he had to think about it, when really he had memorized the list of talking points, line by line.

“Let’s start with an easy one. What are your overall goals in life? I can share first, if you like.”

Hannah shifted uncomfortably and looked back out the window again. “Sure, that’s a good one.”

“I hope this is okay to talk about. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” He reached over and rested his hand on her knee. She in turn rested her hand on top of his.

“I want to know these things about you and I want you to know them about me too, but it is just hard to be so open with someone. I’m not used to it. This is a first for me.”

“It is for me, as well. I completely understand because I feel the same way. I want to know everything about you, and I really want you to know everything about me, but the hardest part is just letting go of the fear that you feel when you leave yourself open to criticism and judgment.”

“I’m not going to judge you.”

“I know, and I won’t be judging you either.”

She squeezed his hand and turned her body back towards him.

“So, back to our goals. My goals in life are pretty straightforward. I want to have a family someday. I never had a father figure growing up, but I want to be a good father. I also want to continue to serve in ministry. I want to go on mission trips and donate my time. But more than anything, I want to be there for the children that I help. Every Sunday, I get to pour love and kindness into these kids and teach them about God’s love for them. They go through some tough trials, but through it all, I am able to remind them that God loves them and they have people in their lives that love them as well. Some of those sweet children have never known love, or been told they are loved.”

Paige perked up with obvious interest. “I love that! I haven’t ever volunteered in the children’s ministry. It sounds very rewarding. All I’ve ever really wanted to do is to be a doctor, to be honest. But a part of me has also wanted the opportunity to be a mother. I guess I’m scared about that kind of responsibility, because of what I have gone through with my own parents. Losing my father was devastating to me. My mother suffering through cancer has been a difficult trial too. I’m afraid of having children and them going through pain like that. I’m hoping to be able to get past that fear, but it’s really difficult.”

“That’s a tough one to get past, but I bet you would make a great mother.” Simon really wanted her to know she could do anything. He really believed that with all of his heart. She was so determined and strong.

“Maybe,” Hannah sighed.

Simon cleared his throat, ready to move on to the next question. If these questions didn’t last longer, he was going to run out of talking points.

“But what if I mess everything up?” Hannah interrupted Simon’s thought with her own. It’s not like you get a do-over with a kid, you know? If you mess a kid up, they are messed up for life. You don’t get to fix that. That’s a lot of responsibility to put on someone. It might just be better to be alone.”

“I can see how you think it would be easier. It probably would. But then you wouldn’t get the chance to love on people. I’ve seen how much you love. You donated your kidney to your mother. That takes a lot of love and a lot of faith in God. You could really do some good if you loved on a child like that. It’s the kind of compassion and love that most people don’t get when they are children—the kind of love that helps make a person great.”

“I don’t know about that. She’s my mother. Of course I would help her. I mean, isn’t that what everyone would do?”

He could tell it was a genuine question. “I don’t think so. You have a lot going on with your degree program. You had a lot planned for that semester and you also knew the kind of risks you were taking by giving her a kidney. You knew what this could mean for your health and your life. But you did it anyway. You gave her life and risked your own. Greater love hath no man than this,” Simon quoted. He was probably being too sappy, but he couldn’t help it. This woman next to him was a hero and he needed her to know that. She was too great to think she was anything less.

* * *

She wasn’t a hero. She did what she had to do. There wasn’t a choice. Of course she would give her mother her kidney. She could tell that Simon wouldn’t let it go if she disagreed with him, so she dropped the subject.

“What are you looking for in a wife then?” Hannah felt curious about the things that attracted him.

She could tell the question threw him off. Serves him right for putting me on the spot. She waited for his answer, silently.

“I guess the only thing I had really thought about was that she loves God. That and having things in common with me. She would have to be able to laugh at my jokes and be able to put up with me. But more than that, I want to be able to marry someone that knows what unconditional love looks like. If we can love each other unconditionally, then everything else, every trial, will be okay. You can get through the toughest trials and challenges together if you are able and willing to look past each other’s faults and love on each other the way that God loves His children.”

“I don’t know that I have ever really thought about that consciously. My mom and dad loved each other unconditionally. When my father was suffering, my mom loved on him through it all. She was by his side and took such good care of him. I remember one day walking into the front room when they were together. This was after my dad had lost a lot of his mobility. He was in a wheelchair, and he couldn’t move much anymore—a few weeks before he passed. My mother was sitting next to him on the couch and she had her head leaning over on his shoulder. She was singing to him. He could smile a little, and I remember when he looked at her, the look in his eye was love. Real love. I knew, then and there, that I wanted to be with a man that would look at me like that. Lust is fleeting and disappears with time, but love is patient and never goes away.”

She felt tears falling from her eyes, but couldn’t stop her story. She felt compelled to continue. “I put my relationship with God on hold when I went into my degree program. And then when my mom got sick, in the beginning, it was so difficult to handle.” She felt her heart racing as the pain resurfaced. “Once that happened, I had to turn to God because I didn’t know where else to go. So I gave my heart to Him again. I gave Him all my fears and the pain. Talking to God and reading His word really helped me through some of the worst times. My mom talks about her relationship with God a lot. She always led us to church and told us about Jesus and His love for us. But I never really felt that love until my mom got sick. It was in that moment, that awful horrible moment, that I realized He had been with me all along. He had held me and loved on me the entire time.”

Simon drummed his fingers lightly on the steering wheel while he listened. “I didn’t realize how strongly you felt. That is a good testimony of God’s love. I have found that, in the darkest times, we tend to rely on God the most and that is when we really understand how much He loves us.”

Noticing a gas station just to the right, Hannah pointed it out to Simon. She knew they were low on gas. He flipped on his blinker and took the exit.

“I haven’t really been as good about talking to Him lately,” Hannah admitted. She didn’t want him to think that she was this amazing, spiritual person, when really she struggled daily with her doubts and her fears. Sometimes she even wondered if God could hear her.

Simon pulled up to the pump and parked the car. Before he exited he turned to Hannah. His crystal clear blue eyes were sparkling and he smiled at her.

“Well, let me help you change that— will you pray with me?”

Hannah felt nervous again. Swallowing her fear and pride she nodded and closed her eyes before she could change her mind.

Simon grabbed her hand and held it between his own. A tingle passed through her hands, up her arm and into her body. His voice was low and he leaned his head in close to her already bowed head. “Our loving Father, we are here today to talk to You and give our hearts to You. Hannah has been through tremendous pain and today has fears about her school program. Lord, we know that You have plans for her. But right now, she doesn’t know what they are and she is frightened. Father, God, heal her body. Heal her soul. If it be Your will to allow her to finish her degree, please lead her to that path. But God, Your will, as always, be done. Give us the grace to allow You to work in our lives. And God, I thank You for allowing me to be in this sweet woman’s life. Let me be a friend to her and to pour into her the love You have shown to me. Amen.”

Tears flowed freely from Hannah's eyes as she looked up at the man holding her hand. With new eyes, she saw the love that had always been there. She just hadn’t been looking hard enough. With one hand, he reached up gently and wiped a tear that had fallen from the corner of her eye. Then his hand moved to her cheek and he moved in closer to kiss her.

Hannah felt light, and warmth spread through her as her lips found his. He touched her ever so sweetly with his lips and gently pressed them to hers. He pulled away slowly, leaving her longing for the warmth of his lips on hers again.

“Everything is going to be alright, Hannah,” Simon said to her. He squeezed her hand once before letting go and leaving to fill the car with gas.

She let out a sigh and laid her head back against the seat. She needed to slow her heart rate down. That kiss was beautiful. It spoke words she had never heard before. Her heart yearned for more, but she knew she needed to be careful. Simon was a very special man. She needed to make sure she knew what she wanted before she hurt his heart. She would rather hurt herself than ever risk hurting him.

* * *

The rest of the ride was uneventful. Simon was content to just listen to the radio while Hannah hummed along. The lilting melodic voice when she sang took his breath away. Her talent was evident. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t heard her sing before.

“You have a beautiful voice,” he said aloud. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her cheeks redden and smiled even more. He had noticed that when her cheeks got red it was because he had paid her a compliment that meant something to her. An off hand remark or a false praise never made her blush.

“Thank you,” she replied quietly. Hannah fell quiet for a moment, but once the song changed she began to sing again, absently. By the end of the ride she seemed oblivious to his presence in the car. He sang along with her and soon they were singing in two-part harmonies to the melody on the radio, laughing when either one of them hit a sour note.

When they finally arrived in College Station, it took Simon a few minutes of stretching to feel human again. It was only ninety minutes of driving, but it seemed like a long time to his sore muscles. Of course, Hannah had left him in the dust long before he was ready to go inside. He caught up with her right before she went through the front door.

“How long are you planning on staying?” Hannah asked him, eyeing his suitcase.

Before he could reply, Paige opened the door and rushed over to hug her daughter. Then she moved over to Simon and hugged him as well.

“Hello!” She moved aside so they could come in. “I just made tea, so I’ll go grab you both a cup.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Hannah said politely.

Ginny rushed up to them as soon as they had stepped into the house. She must have grown a few inches while they were gone. Her floppy ears fell forward and she jumped up towards Hannah, throwing her front paws onto her chest and almost knocking her over with the force of her excitement.

Simon couldn’t help laughing while the excited dog licked her face. She sputtered and tried to push the dog off of her. Paige helped and they were able to get inside.

They followed Paige into the house and threw their stuff on the couch. Both collapsed in undignified heaps, stretching out their sore muscles. Hospitals were not the most comfortable places to spend any amount of time.

“Simon, would you mind helping me with dinner after y’all get situated in your bedrooms?” Paige asked, once they had gotten their cups of tea.

“Mom, I’m sure he has to get back to real life now,” Hannah interrupted.

“Nope, I’m good,” Simon replied quickly.

“Are you sure?” She had confusion etched across her features.

“Simon and I have actually talked about it, honey. I needed some help. I have a lot of projects around this house that have been neglected because of my illness. And I know you will be here, but you need to rest. Doctor’s orders.”

Hannah looked toward Simon. “But what about your classes?”

Panic edged her voice. He had expected this reaction from her.

“Don’t worry about it,” Simon answered.

He knew she wouldn’t let it go, but wanted to forestall that conversation for another time when she wasn’t exhausted and emotional. Paige seemed to pick up on his cues and didn’t say anything either. Best to let her rest first before talking to her about the plan that Paige and he had put into place before Hannah left the hospital.

Hannah’s hair fell over her face as she leaned forward, silently staring into her cup with a deep look of contemplation. He watched her fingers drum a rhythm on her glass, a sign that Simon knew meant she was deep in thought. She often drummed rhythms while she studied.

“Simon, dear, can you please carry up your bag and Hannah's too?” Paige was quick to catch on to social cues. A blessing Simon was grateful for.

He grabbed their bags and headed upstairs, eager to put some distance between himself and the conversation.