Chapter Eighteen

COLD rain fell unceasingly from the night sky on their stroll back to the restaurant. Both huddled beneath their umbrellas, both unspeaking, Marcus repeatedly checking his phone, wondering if Tom would call or text. Finally, when a ping came through, he stopped walking and stared down at the display.

Tom.

I need to see you. If you’ll let me.

Marcus texted back immediately.

Of course I will. I’m off all day tomorrow.

Good. This can’t wait.

“Tom?” asked Tina, who had stopped and turned back a few paces in front.

“Yes,” he said, staring first at the phone display and then at Tina.

“And?”

“He wants to talk,” he said as he caught up and continued on toward the restaurant. “Tomorrow.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

“I’m not sure. But I did say I’d give him a second chance, didn’t I?”

Countless thoughts swam around his head as they moved onward. Was he doing the right thing? Would meeting up change anything? One thing was for certain. Without Tom in his life, he felt more miserable than ever. When they reached the restaurant door, Marcus stopped and turned to Tina.

“You can head off now, if you want. I’ll help finish up in the kitchen.”

“No,” she said firmly. “I need to talk to you too. About me. Come on, let’s go to your office and get a couple of drinks.”

Something about her tone put him on guard. And then, once they’d sat down and one of his team had asked them what they wanted to eat and drink, she shocked him again. In all the years he had known Tina, she had never refused a glass of red wine in favor of mineral water. Certainly not after such an exhausting day. Without speaking, she sat waiting patiently for him to finish a roast beef sandwich and a bottle of beer. After what she had said, he had begun to think the worst, that she was going to quit.

He couldn’t have been further from the truth.

“You’re what?”

“I’m pregnant.”

They sat in his small office with the door open while his kitchen staff went about cleaning up. He would have sat them both outside in the main restaurant, but four tables were still occupied with regulars finishing their coffees and liqueurs. Besides, his staff had been listening to his interview, and every now and then, one of them popped their head in to give him a thumbs-up.

“Oh my goodness,” said Marcus, getting up from his seat and going around to give her a hug. “That’s fantastic.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why on earth would I be mad?”

“Because I’ll need to take time off.”

“Come on, Tina. You know me better than that. You’ve worked tirelessly for me all these years. We would never have been half as successful without your hard work and without you pushing me to do more. I am so happy for you and Mel. How far along are you?”

“Two months.”

“Sex?”

“That’s generally how it’s done.”

“Of the baby, smartass.”

“We don’t know yet. But we’re hoping for a girl.”

“A little Tina. Brilliant. And perfect timing. Because I was going to ask if you needed me to hire you an assistant to help you with everything. You’ve been so overloaded of late. Now it’ll be a must and you’ll even have time to train them up.”

“Uh, Marcus,” said Michelle, the head waiter, standing in the doorway, looking puzzled. “Sorry to disturb. But there’s some big guy out front, says he needs to speak to you. Urgently.”

Marcus and Tina looked quizzically at each other.

“Couldn’t be, could it?” asked Marcus.

But it was. Tom stood in the middle of the restaurant. He appeared not only lost, but also terrified. Togged out in a donkey jacket, a yellow-and-mauve striped rugby shirt, and jeans, hands shoved in his pockets, he had clearly gotten there in a hurry. And the way his eyes darted fearfully around the remaining guests, he looked like the accused. Maybe against his better judgment, Marcus wanted to go up to him and give him a hug.

“Come through to the kitchen,” said Marcus, beckoning him over.

“No,” said Tom firmly. “I need to do this out here. In public.”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

After a long pause, during which Tom’s brows repeatedly scrunched together and his eyes brimmed wetly, he finally uttered one word, one single word.

“Anything.”

“I’m sorry, Tom. I don’t understand.”

“I’ll give you anything. Anything you want. If you can just love me. What I did was unforgivable, I know, pushing you away again. Yet here I am asking for a forgiveness that I don’t really deserve. But I’m prepared to do anything you want to bring you back.”

Diners at two of the tables had stopped talking and were watching them with interest.

“Tom, we can take this out back.”

“No,” he said firmly, still unmoving. “I don’t care if people hear. I want them to. I don’t care anymore. I love you. And I hurt you. But I meant every word I said on the radio. I need you, Marcus. You’re my soul mate. I’m nothing without you. But I can’t move forward until you tell me—”

But Tom couldn’t get the words out and broke down, bowing his head. Marcus strode forward and pulled Tom’s head onto his shoulder, barely hearing the round of applause that went up from the tables. When Marcus cupped Tom’s chin in his hand and raised Tom’s head, he brought their lips together and tasted salty tears. Slowly, Tom’s dangling arms came to life and wrapped snugly around Marcus’s waist.

“Of course I forgive you, you pillock,” said Marcus, kissing the soft skin of Tom’s neck that he had always loved. By now he had forgotten the audience. “Hey, who’s looking after the girls?”

“Jeanette. I’ve made my peace with her too. You were right on all counts.”

“What if Katie has another episode?”

“All taken care of,” said Tom, smoothing his cheek against Marcus’s chin. “With the help of the hospital, we’ve bought a portable device that helps clear the lungs in an emergency, and I’ve put simple instructions how to use it up on the fridge door for anyone to read.”

“Even me?”

“Yes, even you,” said Tom, a hint of a smile rubbing against Marcus’s cheek. “See? Your message finally got through my thick skull. I also came clean to Jeanette about us. Only fair, really. And she’s been a star. So anyway, I told her what I needed to do tonight, and she said she’d stay until we got home.”

“We?”

Tom pulled his face away from Marcus and stared deep into his eyes.

“I want you to come home with me, Marcus. Tonight, if possible. But only if you want to. And if you do, I want you in my bed tonight. I want to wake up in the morning with you next to me and let the girls see us together. I’ll even take the day off tomorrow so that we can take them to school. Together. And later on we can go see Mum and Dad. Tell them about us. Not everyone’s going to understand or be happy—especially my football friends and work buddies. But that’s their problem. I can deal with anything. As long as I have you by my side. As long as I have your forgiveness.”

“I’ve already said you have that. But we need to communicate better in the future, Tom.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tell each other things, especially feelings, and not leave each other to guess. I’m here for the long haul, a permanent fixture not just for the girls, but for you. To organize the house, meet the teachers, put up Christmas decorations, cook for you without you feeling as though it’s a chore for me. Someone you can trust never to simply up and disappear when times get tough. That’s not me.”

“I know,” said Tom, smiling gently. “I really do. But there’s only one thing I need right now.”

“And what’s that?”

“You.”

Marcus took a moment while he held Tom’s gaze.

“You’ve always had me.”