“What’s your answer going to be?” I placed the water glass back on the table, too annoyed to take a sip. That’s another thing. I’ve never been so invested in a woman before that her actions got a rise out of me. Maybe this was my penance for being a dog all these years, from high school ‘til now.

So far I’ve been taking her rejections in stride, but since I’d given myself this deadline I was worried that she really would hold out and that I’d walk away empty handed.

That’s just the way I’m made. If I tell myself this is it, then no matter what, that’s what it’ll be. Of course she could have no idea any of this shit is going on inside my head. But it’s the way I’ve always done things. Saves me from wasting my damn time.

I knew she was interested, so why won’t she let me have her? She didn’t know that this would be the last time I ask, but she had to know the end was drawing near. I’m not a complete moron to keep coming back. I have my pride after all.

But could I really do it? Could I walk away from her knowing what I feel for her? How the fuck does that work? Why is life so fucking cruel? Or am I being the spoilt brat I’ve been accused of being in the past?

Granted that was long ago when I was still a child. But maybe as a man I’m still prone to getting my way and expect this to be no different. Or maybe it’s because I’ve never been turned down before.

How was she able to resist me when each time I left her, I felt like I’d left something very vital behind? How is she not feeling the same shit that’s been plaguing me for the past few weeks?

“What if I go out with you? What then? You’re looking for a good time right? Well I’m not that kind of girl, so you’re wasting your time.”

There was something in her eyes even as she tried to give me the brush off. Something that told me she was fighting her own feelings. It gave me hope.

“If all I wanted was a good time angel I could find a much easier way to do it.” She didn’t have a comeback for that one so just took my order and went away again.

I watched her walk away and the smile slid from my face. What had started out as the usual chase was fast becoming something else, something more. Much more!

The more time I spent in her presence as limited as it has been so far, the more I want to get to know her. When she wasn’t glaring at me, she was warm and engaging with the other customers and her coworkers.

She also had the most endearing affectations. Like the way she bit the corner of her lip when she was concentrating, or the cute way she has of constantly pushing her escaped hair behind her left ear with her right hand.

It drew the eye to the delicacy of her wrist and made me think of how vulnerable she was, all alone in the world. That one always gets me in the gut.

At night alone in my bed I think of her instead of going over spreadsheets the way I’d always done in the past before meeting her. And the kicker is, it’s not just in a sexual way, but more like someone who genuinely cares for someone else; which is fucking nuts.

I find myself thinking about her at odd times throughout the day. Almost like a specter in the corners of my mind. She had taken over my thoughts to the exclusion of everything else.

My phone went off on the table and I read the screen before answering. “Hi mom.”

“Hi son, you haven’t forgotten about tonight have you?”

“About that…” My eyes travelled across the room to where she was putting a glass and the bottle of sparkling water I’d ordered on a tray.

“Oh come on Cade, you’ve cancelled twice already, it’s becoming rather rude and I’m running out of excuses to give the Roberts.”

I rubbed the place between my eyes where I could feel a headache already brewing. “Mom, something has come up. I don’t think…look I know you and Irene are really jazzed about me seeing her daughter and I didn’t have a good enough excuse before, but I think I have one now.”

“What? what does that mean, work? You work too hard son I’ve told you that before. Mindy is a very nice girl, you’ve known her your whole life.”

Where is it written that a man has to get married once he reaches a certain age? Ever since my last birthday she’s been on my case about settling down.

If I hear the grandchildren argument one more time I’ll lose my mind. It was her go to when she wasn’t getting her way when it came to ruling my life.

I didn’t mention Zandi to her. One, because I wasn’t sure where we were headed if anywhere, and two, I wasn’t ready to share her yet. Not with my family, not with anyone.

Even though she still wouldn’t give me the time of day, for some reason the thought of going to meet another woman, even one I’ve called a friend for most of my life, suddenly felt wrong.

There is no way I’m going, not even to please my mother who I make a point never to disappoint. I couldn’t even remember what Mindy looked like unless she was standing in front of me.

And I’m sure she’s never stayed on my mind five minutes after we’ve parted ways in the past. Zandi on the other hand has been imprinted on my heart.

Mom’s heart was in the right place. Like any mother she wanted what she thought was best for her son. But she’d stopped knowing what that was since I was about ten.

To her, since I’d made my mark in the business world, all that was left was for me to settle down and fulfill her greed for grandkids. It’s like a map in her head that she has to follow or some shit. Mothers tend to be that way I guess.

Too bad for her this one had come along and put a monkey wrench in the works. Not that I would’ve given serious thought to dating Mindy. I wasn’t even a little bit attracted to the girl, for all mom cared.

She was more friendly acquaintance than love interest and there was no way in hell I would subject myself to a life with someone I didn’t love. The thought of a cold bed was not in the least bit appealing.

“Mom you’re right. I’ve known Mindy my whole life, so I should know by now if I had any interest in her that way, and I’m sorry but I don’t. It might be best if you gave up any hopes of the two of us becoming the couple of the century.”

Her sigh of disappointment was loud and clear but it couldn’t be helped. I wasn’t about to waste my time and hers on something I knew wouldn’t add up to a hill of beans.

I’d agreed to the dinner only to get her off my case, but somehow the thought of going to that dinner tonight, felt like a betrayal of Zandi. Strange since I’ve never given much thought to such things in the past.

Mom had given it her best try, but like she’d said, I’d cancelled twice before. Both times business had interfered, this time I had a whole other reason for crying off.

I watched that reason approach and felt the same calmness I’ve become accustomed to, in her presence. She was the only person I knew who could make me crazy and yet be a soothing balm when I was having a bad day.

There were times in the past month when I’d come here after having a hard morning at the office. When just the sight of her had lifted my spirits and made me forget, if only for the hour or so I sat here watching her.

I wondered now as I watched her why this one woman, someone who I haven’t really spent any real time with as yet, should make me think in ways I never did before.

I’ve been known to date more than one female at the same time in the past. Since I always make it a habit to let my intentions be known from the start, there was never any sense of unfairness on my part.

I’ve never given any of the women I dated false impressions; never led anyone to believe that I was interested in more than a short enjoyable fling.

Those usually lasted a couple months at most. That’s how long it usually took before I grew bored and moved on to the next one that caught my interest.

But Zandi had caught and held my interest without any effort. And once again I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that was the draw. Her indifference where usually women flocked around me, just begging for my attention.

Somehow I didn’t think so though. This felt different. Like there was so much more to her than my usual fare. Like I could spend a lifetime getting to know her and it still wouldn’t be enough.

When I’m around her I feel alive. Her snippy attitude and snappy comebacks make me feel warm, like a lovesick puppy. Even our back and forth is more exciting than anything I’ve ever shared with a woman before.

And I love egging her on just to get a rise out of her. Love to hear that sharp tongue of hers as she berates me. Or the way she rolls her eyes at some of my comments as if to say I’m full of shit and she knows it.

She has no fear of me, unlike most people of my acquaintance. Even the way she talks down to me and tries to put me in my place at every turn leaves me wanting more.

That’s how I know I have it bad. I’m willing to subject myself to her treatment on a daily basis just to be close to her. Either I’ve fallen in love or I’ve finally lost my fucking mind.

Whichever one it is, there doesn’t seem to be a damn thing I can do about it. I keep coming back for more. I’m Pavlov’s fucking dog.

When I leave her I feel empty, alone, lonely. As the lunch hour draws near each day, I’m filled with excitement at the fact that I’m going to see her again soon.

Once I showed up here expecting to see her and she wasn’t here. I knew it wasn’t her day off and had probably traumatized the poor girl who’d come to serve me by giving her the third degree.

I’d almost lost my shit when I was told that she’d called out sick, and hadn’t slept well that night, too worried about her and whether or not she was okay.

She was back the next day and had grudgingly shared the fact that she’d caught a twenty-four hour bug but was back to normal. I’d grilled her about going to the doctor and must’ve asked ten times if she was sure she was okay.

The thought of her alone and sick had really got to me and I guess I went just a little overboard with my reaction. But that was nothing new when it came to her and my feelings where she was concerned.

She pretended not to care but it was plain to see that my interest pleased her. And though she’d been her usual abrasive self, I could sense a change in her from that day on.