the past three and a half months, I haven't gone more than two days without seeing Charlie, but these last two and half weeks, I've only seen her three times. I've been working my ass off after the farm because I need money. I don't want to do it. I'd rather be spending every minute not on the farm with her, but I need the cash. Tattooing is slowly bringing in cash, but I've also picked up some shifts at the dive bar down the street from my house.
She's quiet tonight while we briskly walk the few blocks to the coffee place she likes. Everything I've said to her has gotten me a short, snippy reply, and I don't know what's going on with her.
"Hazelnut Macchiato, please," she says to the girl then steps aside letting me order, not allowing me to touch her like she normally does.
"Uh, same. And a cookie for my friend." I grin down at Gus who's eagerly waiting, but sitting like such a good boy. I drop to my knee to pet him until Charlie snips my name because our drinks are ready.
I grab our drinks and guide us to a table, setting Gus's cookie cup on the ground and chuckle when he goes to town on it.
"For you," I say, putting Charlie's drink into her hands.
"So," she says. "That girl still staying at your place?"
"That girl?" I chuckle. "Violet? You forget her name?" I roll my eyes at the completely unnecessary jealousy. "Yeah. Her brother's leaving in a few weeks and she'll go home. Why?"
"Just wondering how life is living with what I'm presuming is a hot little eighteen year old?"
"Oh fuck, Charlie. Seriously? She's seventeen and she's a fucking kid. Is this really why you've been giving me the silent treatment all night?" I scowl at her but sink my shoulders knowing she can't see it. "What the fuck kind of guy do you think I am? She's just a kid. Would you rather I send her home to get beat up on by her brother?"
"No," she whispers, her shoulders slumping ever so slightly. "I'm just…being weird I guess. We go from seeing each other every other day and talking all day every day to barely talking and only seeing each other what? Once a week? With no excuse, Travis. It makes me wonder if maybe you've grown tired of me. I have a right to ask."
"Yeah, you do, Blue." I push her hair behind her ear. "So ask. Don't accuse me of stupid shit that's going to cause a fight we don't need right now." I slide closer to her and tug her the rest of the way. "I haven't seen you in five days and I don't want to spend it fighting."
"I don't either but I deserve to know why. Why have you been so distant lately?"
I rub my tired eyes before leaning back. "Money," I say, trying to pull her close but she jerks away like I just told her I've been cheating or something.
"Money?" she shrieks and I glance around but no one's paying attention. "You're ignoring me for money?"
I tiredly laugh. I haven't slept more than four hours a night in the past week and half.
"Stop laughing, Travis," she huffs, standing up and taking Gus's leash with her. "I don't know what's happened to you in these last couple weeks but I'm not a fan." She wraps Gus's leash around her hand nervously.
"Chuck." I reach for her but she pulls away and walks out the door into the brisk air. "Charlie," I blurt and jump up, going after them. "I'm trying to make some extra cash." I grab her arm to stop her. "I didn't really want to tell you."
"You know I don't care about money, Travis! I have enough if you ever needed any, all you have to do is ask." She sighs and commands Gus to sit, wrapping her arms in front of her as a cool gust of wind hits us.
"No." I laugh with annoyance. "I don't want your fucking money, Charlie. I want my own money to take care of you, to buy you things, to do for you like I should. I make enough money at the farm, but something else came up and I'm trying to make some damn money to pay for it."
"What came up? What's so secret that you can't talk about it? Are you in some kind of trouble, Travis? Illegal shit that you shouldn't be wrapped up in?"
"What?" I blurt. "Fucking seriously, Charlie? You automatically think I'm involved in some illegal shit?" My voice is raising and people are starting to look so I take a deep breath before I grit out, "I'm saving up money to take you to Paris."
She lets out a small gasp and brings her hand to her mouth. "Paris?" she whispers, her eyes bright. "You're taking me to Paris?" She's trying not to smile but failing miserably. "You're taking me to Paris even after I just basically told you that you're a criminal?" She laughs excitedly.
"Well…I don't know about now. I'll probably take Gus instead." I don't want to smile but the look on her face is too adorable to ignore. "So, I'm sorry I've been distant." I pull her toward me. "And that I didn't tell you. But will you go to the Eiffel Tower with me?"
"I wouldn't miss it!" she yells, flinging her arms to wrap them around me but I don't move into her soon enough and her finger goes straight into my eye.
"Oh!" I blurt and she gasps. "Shit!" I cover my watering eye but start to laugh.
"Shit, I'm so sorry! Was that your eye?" She's holding back laughter. "Oh God, are you still taking me to Paris?" she whispers in horror, her eyes going wide.
"With an eye patch." I pull her into my arms and kiss her before we fuck this up again.
"Can I help pay my way please? I'd feel better if you let me help. It's probably an expensive trip and I have a lot saved up," she mutters into my chest as she holds me so tight I can't breathe.
"Yeah, no. I already have the tickets paid for. If you need a passport though… Shit, do you have a passport?"
"I do!" she chirps. "I needed it a few years ago when I was traveling to Canada to learn about a procedure they were offering for blind patients. Something about a new procedure that wasn't cleared in the US that could possibly help me gain some sight back."
"Wait…so is that a possibility? Has it been cleared here yet? Can you just go to Canada to have it?"
"It permanently took away all the taste buds of half its patients. They had to table it." She shrugs and smiles. "But anyway. Paris!"
"Paris." I grin and go in for a kiss but she pulls back just before our lips touch.
"Are we staying with your brother? Do I get to meet him?" She's smiling and I wince, glancing away.
"Yeah, no. That relationship…" I look down toward Gus. "There's no relationship there anymore, Blue. My brother stopped talking to me when I was locked up. And, that was when I needed him most, so no. I won't be seeing my brother. I don't even know if he's in Paris anymore." That's the last person I want to see. He abandoned me when I asked him to come back to the states because Mom and Dad wouldn't even take my phone calls.
"Oh," she says, her face falling. "Well…he's missing out. You're a good man, Travis." She nudges me and I pull her close, finally pressing my lips to hers.
"?" I call out when I walk into the quiet house. The telltale sign of a woman in tears comes from the living room and I shove a chair out of the way to get to her. It's not Bev crying, it's Violet and Bev's comforting her. "What's goin' on?" I ask and Violet pulls away, dipping her head to wipe her face before looking up at me. A split lip and dried blood on her chin makes me shout, "What the fuck happened?"
"Travis," Bev tries to calm me but I'm going to kill her brother.
"Your brother do this?" I scream and Violet startles before she starts to cry harder.
"Travis, just calm down and let's talk," Bev tries but I'm already on my way out the door. "Travis!" she shouts right before I get in my car.
I whip into the driveway of Violet's and see her brother's semi cab so I jump out without turning the car off. Pounding on the door, her mom answers. I've never seen or met this woman, and I've dropped Violet off several times. According to Violet she works far and long hours, but it's not an excuse for what she lets go on in the house when she's not home.
"Where's Drew?" I snarl and her eyes get wide as she takes a step back.
Her brother comes around the corner to see who's at the door and I push in past Violet's mom to get to him. Grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, my fist cracks him in the jaw.
"Keep your fucking hands off your sister!" I scream and hit him once more before letting go of his ripping shirt and he drops to the ground.
Her mom's frantic while on the phone, probably with the police so I walk out the front door and get back in my car. I drive past Bev's road. I need to see Charlie right now, and I need to cool off. By the time I get to Bind Date, I'm calmer and I shoot Bev a text that I'll be back soon. When I walk in, Kevin's in shambles while Frankie's yelling from the other room. I find my way to Charlie's office and she's holding her head while leaning over her keyboard.
"Hey." I put my hand on her back and she startles. "Sorry. What's goin' on?"
"One of our competitors stole my new idea about first date face-times for long distance matches. No one else offered it and I thought we were going to make it first. Fuckers." She huffs then smiles and stands. "I'm glad you're here. What's up? Late lunch?"
Seeing she's stressed, I'll wait to tell her what just happened. I kiss her forehead and grab her purse so I can get her out of the office for at least an hour and help her relax.
Bev apparently talked to Violet's mom and the lady backed off some when Bev threatened calling the police on her for allowing her son to beat up her daughter. So that means Violet's been at my place. Bev wants her at hers, but I'm closer to the school so on my way to Bev's in the morning, I drop Violet.
"Hey." I walk in the front door and Pete jumps onto my shoulders. "Hey, you." I kiss him and drop him to the ground.
"Hey." Violet comes around the corner. "I just fed him, don't let him trick ya." She smirks.
"I'm heading to Charlie's soon. You gonna hang here?"
"I'm going to go to Brooklyn's," she mumbles and crosses the room.
"I'm going to grab a change of clothes first, but you want a ride?"
"Why don't you leave stuff at Charlie's?" Her tone and the look on her face is like it's the weirdest thing she's ever encountered.
I mean, maybe it's inconvenient, but it's not strange. I guess I'm sleeping at Charlie's most weekends and if possible once or twice during the week, but I think it's too soon for me to have a spot for stuff there. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe not.
"I don't know," I mutter heading for my bedroom. "We're not there yet."
"I'm surprised you haven't asked her to marry you yet." She chuckles, following behind me.
"Not yet." I glance back at her with a smile then walk into my room, finding it odd she's still following me.
"You don't want to make her Mrs. Austin Cusp?"
With my back to her, I freeze hearing my birth name.
"What's up with that?"
Turning to face her, I look down at her hand where she's holding a license. Walking to the doorway, I snatch it from her hand and look down at my eighteen year old face with my birth name, actual birthday, and my address in the Bronx.
"Where'd you get this?" I snap and look toward the closet in the hall where I crammed a ton of shit, including things I shouldn't have kept. But honestly it wasn't kept for sentimental reasons, it was kept because it was in a box I never went through after getting released from prison.
"I opened that closet looking for light bulbs and a box almost killed me when it fell out."
"You went through my shit?" I glare at her, clutching the license tight.
"There was records and stuff that looked cool." She shrugs like it's no big deal.
"You can't go through my shit, Violet!" I head for the closet and snatch up the box so I can take it to Bev's and burn the whole thing.
"Can we get back to the point here? Who's Austin Cusp and why is it you in that picture."
I glower at her, not owing this girl shit for an explanation, but if I don't explain she might start talking.
"That was me from a long time ago, okay? Stay the fuck out of my shit or you can get placed in a foster home until you're eighteen," I snarl.
"Why are you so pissed? What's the big deal you're some kinda weirdo with a fake name.” She chuckles and plops onto the couch. "Does Bev know?"
"I'm not a weirdo," I snap. "And you can't talk about this shit."
"Oh…I'm talking about it," she assures. "If you don't tell me why, I'm talking about it."
My hand slams to the counter and I drop my head, taking a deep breath before I go off on her.
"I had to change my whole life when I was twenty-five so I could get out of prison. I'm in witness protection," I grit out. "Do you know what that is?"
"Is that where like you're running from bad guys?" she asks in excitement.
"No," I bark, having a hard time keeping my cool but screaming at this kid isn't going to change the situation. "It means I live quietly and happily in this tiny ass town and I don't go back to jail or end up dead. And it also means that if you start running your mouth, anything could happen to you too."
"How?" she blurts like I'm lying.
"Because!" I scream. "To you I'm Travis Burr. You don't want to fucking know Austin Cusp, Violet! Let it go. He's a bad dude that dangerous people want dead and don't give a shit about a little girl he's trying to help graduate! Let it fucking go!"
"I'm letting it go," she mutters. "Does Bev know?"
"A little," I grumble, heading back to my room.
"Charlie?" she calls out.
"Don't talk about this again!" I slam my door before leaning against it and taking a deep breath.
"," I call out frantically. We need to be to the airport in less than an hour and I'm freaking out. Taking Charlie to a different country is scary as shit. "Are you ready, yet? Can I please help you?"
"Who are you and what have you done with my calm, cool, collected boyfriend that just hours ago wasn't hyperventilating? I'd like him back." She huffs, lifting her bag off the bed. "I had to make sure everything would fit. See! It does and I can still carry it." She gives the bag a few shallow lifts like she's suddenly a body builder.
This outfit she's got on is cute as hell. She looks more comfortable than she does when she sleeps. She's wearing tights with one of my t-shirt's that covers just past her ass and I almost want to take a few extra minutes to get her out of them, but we don't have time.
"Yeah, the bag’s great. Good to go, Blue. And can I remind you of that message your dad left on your voicemail? Ya know, the one we listened to less than an hour ago that said he would murder me if anything happened to you?" My arm is around her back as I walk her out of the apartment, and low and behold we don't get far before Frankie jumps out her door like she caught us trying to sneak away or something.
"Frankie, Travis is worried about my father murdering him if anything happens to me on this trip." She laughs and Frankie growls at me.
"He'll have more people after his balls if he hurts or loses you on this trip." She punches me in the arm then turns to fuss with Charlie's bags. "And why the hell are you carrying these?"
I grab the bags and start heading toward the stairs.
"You're going to have to enter witness protection if I die on this trip, Travis. There's no coming back here without me." She laughs and her hand finds the stair rail.
"Do people do that? Just randomly lose or get someone their traveling with killed?" I snip, my tensions are high, not only about their joke, but Charlie's comment. "Frank, don't forget about Gus," I say to piss her off.
"Gus is my step-son, Perv. I'll make sure he's nice and spoiled by the time you return."
"Please don't ruin almost seven years of training, Frankie," Charlie whines from the bottom of the stairs. "My trainer told me he'd be un-trainable, but I fought it and he's perfect. You ruin him and you owe me another round of service dog training lessons."
"I wouldn't dare make your life more difficult," she scoffs. "I love that pup. He'll be fine."
"He'll be fine," I insist, ushering Charlie out the door and to the car. "We're gonna be late."
" stinks here," Charlie laughs, covering her nose as we head into the bed and breakfast.
"Charlie." I laugh, hurrying her along.
What happened with Violet before we left is threatening to ruin this for me and as much as I want to because she always makes me feel better, I can't tell Charlie about it. She can know about the part that she's going to yell at me about though.
We get settled into the room and I glance around for her, finding her standing in the window in front of bright beam of sunlight shining in.
"Charlie," I call her name and her head turns so her attention is on me. That smile on her face makes me wish I've had her my entire life. "I love you."
I know I want to be with her for the rest of my life, and I really was going to wait to do this, but I need the reassurance that she feels the same. If I thought she didn't, I wouldn't risk this.
"I love you too." Her smile brightens and she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
Moving across the room, I kiss her and take her hand, glancing out the window as nerves start to make my stomach sick. As I get to my knee, I see her brows furrow.
"What are you doing?" Her face contorts in confusion and she grins. "What's going on? Are you okay?" She chuckles.
"Right behind you is a set of French doors and the sun is shining in through the glass, erasing everything in this city except you. It's coming right in our window shining on you and you look so fucking beautiful." I nervously chuckle and take a deep breath. "And now I'm on my knee in front of you." I clear my throat. "Because, Charlie, it's only been eight months but I know I wouldn't last a day without you. Marry me, Blue." I place Bev's antique pearl ring at her fingertip so she can feel it.
All I hear is a small gasp as her fingertips trace the pearl and set of diamonds surrounding it.
"You brought me to Paris just to propose?" she whispers as her lip quivers. "You know I would have said yes back at home, too, right?" A smile spreads across her face.
I chuckle feeling relief I shouldn't have had built up. I knew she'd say yes. "I knew you'd say yes, but I thought you might tell me to wait longer than eight months of being together." The ring slips onto her finger and sits snuggly, just like Bev promised it would. Jumping to my feet, I crash my mouth to hers. "I love you so much," I say into her mouth while kissing her over and over.
"God, I love you." She grins holding onto me tightly. "This would have been a really awkward trip if I'd have told you no, huh?" She pulls back and giggles, tracing the ring with her fingertips. "It's beautiful," she whispers.
"It was Bev's. She said it was hers during her best years of life. When I told her I was ready to propose, she practically begged me to take her ring. I'm sorry I couldn't spend a few G on a new ring for you, Blue, but this honestly means something more to me than a new ring would." I kiss her hand over the ring.
"I love it. Rings are just material, Travis. It's the love behind it that means the world to me. And the fact this is not only from you but Bev too." She grins and squeals a little.
"I love you, and I love you're going to be my wife." I connect my lips with hers and start walking her backward to the bed. "And I love your body, and your eyes, and your cute nose, and pretty hair. And this mole right here." I place my finger over a small mole on her cheek. "That grows hair. It's so cute."
"Ew stop!" She laughs, hitting my arm. "It does not. And I love that I'm going to be Charlie Burr," she purrs, pushing her body against mine.
"Fuck, that sounds good." I grin and kiss her harder while sliding my hand down her stomach and right into the front of her pants, not wasting time finding her clit. She moans, pushing her lips to my neck and grinds against my hand before going for the hem of my shirt. In record time for us, we're undressed and I'm sliding inside her. Inside my fiancée.
"God, this is perfect," she hums, her body wrapped around mine.
I roll over and smile when I see Charlie's face only inches from mine. "Hey." My voice is gruff from sleep. "Blue." I kiss her nose until she yanks back, wiping at the drool slipping from her lip.
"Ew," she mumbles, rubbing her face then stretching her body. "How long was I passed out for?"
"It's seven Paris time. I don't know what time we fell asleep. But we're in Paris. There's no time to sleep." I yank the covers back exposing her naked body and grin. "We'll sleep when we're dead." As I move toward her nipple, she pushes me back.
"Morning breath, nooo," she grumbles, reaching for the covers. "And I think I need a shower. And about seven more hours of sleep."
"You're jet lagged." I grab her hips and hold her steady, clamping my teeth around her nipple making her first yelp then moan. "And my morning breath isn't that bad. I'll just stay south." I grin and kiss down her stomach.
"It's not yours I'm worried about," she murmurs, sliding her hands into my hair. "But please, go on." She gasps and her hands go to the bed sheets when I start nipping her inner thigh and trailing my finger down her core.
My tongue meets her clit and she moans until I slide it inside her, licking upward, then she gasps. I repeat it until she's panting heavily and tugging at my hair. She's trying to pull me up her body, but I'm not stopping until she comes. Her hips start to raise, pressing against my face and she does my favorite thing in the world. She starts to rock her hips, grinding against my mouth like she can't get enough. I slip a finger, then two inside her and grin when she tightens around them.
"God, don't stop, Travis," she pants.
My fingers curl and rub that spot until she's trembling underneath me.
"Oh fuck!" Her screams can probably be heard rooms away but I'm not stopping. "Shit, shit, fuck!" she hisses as her orgasm rips through her.
I don't let up until she's giggling and pushing me away, then I crawl up her body and press my lips to hers.
"Morning, Blue." I grin, pressing my cock against her opening until she spreads her legs and lets me slip inside her. "I love you." I kiss her neck as she moans, gripping my shoulders.
"I love you, Travis," she gasps, digging her nails into my shoulders and raking them down my arms. "Oh God, yes."
I slam into her, dipping my head to latch my teeth onto her tit until she's arching up, moaning and pulling with need, I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to hold off.
"You gonna come again, Blue?" I grin, sitting back on my heels, taking her with me as we switch positions.
"Oh shit," she moans, biting down on my shoulder as she rocks on top of me. "Oh God, Travis." Her voice is muffled in the crook of my neck and her hands tighten on my forearms as she pumps harder and tightens around me. "Fuck yes!" Her body starts to shake and her breath becomes ragged as she lets go.
Watching her come around me, I can't hold back anymore and I let go as she rides out the final seconds of her orgasm. I wrap my fingers in her hair and pull her down over me one last time, grunting as I finish inside her.
It takes her a minute, but she slides from my lap, spent and trying to get comfortable in bed again like we're taking a nap. Slapping her ass, I get off the bed as she gasps and sits up.
"Get up, Blue. We need food. We're going to eat everything we can so I can make you fat and happy." I kiss her jaw and start pulling her from bed toward the bathroom.
"I won't be happy if I'm fat, Travis," she grumbles, back to her sleepy state. When her stomach growls loudly I laugh and she sighs in defeat. "I guess I'm pretty hungry though."
"Let's get you fat." I bite her shoulder and turn on the shower that's not big enough for both of us, but we'll manage.
When we head out, I keep my arm around her as we walk down the street so she doesn't get hit by the dozens of tourists that we're in the mix of. The day consists of food, shopping, more food, and lastly, just enjoying the sights and sounds that Charlie has taught me to appreciate more than I ever have. By late afternoon, we take a break and sit on a hill taking in everything surrounding us. It's amazing the things she notices that I never would. She's pointed out three different sounds I would never hear because I'm too busy just watching.
Forcing her up, I want to get her somewhere a little less touristy.
"Where are we going?" She laughs. "Why are we walking so fast?"
"There's a ton of people. And it's a secret. Close your eyes." I chuckle and she nudges me.
"I'm not walking around with my eyes closed, Travis." She giggles.
When we arrive, I pull her closer as we walk into Caves Des Abbesses. "Watch your step."
She pauses just inside the door and takes a deep breath, smiling wide. "It smells amazing in here."
We find a table at the back in the corner and a waiter walks over immediately because it's only us and two other people in here. My French…well, isn't, so I have a few blunders trying to order. I can't read the damn menu to Charlie anyway, so I order for her by pointing to what we want.
"What'd you order?"
"I don't know. Let's hope for the best," I mutter. "I think cheese. Well I know for sure cheese. Then some other…stuff. Wine. I ordered wine. I think it's wine." I bring the menu closer to my face like it's my eyesight that's misunderstanding the French words. "Yeah…we got stuff."
She lets out an infectious laugh and shakes her head at me, the smile not leaving her face as we wait for our food. "I want to go to the Eiffel Tower tonight. Right after this. Can we go there right after this?"
"Right after this." I stare at her across the table before reaching over and taking her hand that's sporting the ring Bev gave us and I rub my finger over it.
"Is Bev divorced?" she quietly asks.
"Uh, no." I smile. "Her husband died in the Vietnam war. Love of her life." I smirk.
"Well I think it's beautiful that she gave it to you…for us." She smiles softly. "Thank you for bringing me here. I couldn't have imagined a better place or a better way to propose, you know. You've kind of blown every other man in the history of ever out of the water."
"With my good looks? It's my good looks that snagged you, isn't it? Well, first it was my dick. Then had to have been my looks." I link our fingers right before the waiter comes with a spread of cheese, bread, and something green. While he pours me a glass of wine, I feel my smile falling because I don't drink wine but Charlie's grinning in excitement as she waits.
"Merci." I nod to the waiter then clear my throat and lower my voice. "There's something green. I don't know what it is. You try it first." I glance behind me as I scoop some onto a piece of bread and put it in her hand. She slowly brings it to her nose, scrunching it when she sniffs then shakes her head.
"It's green?" She giggles. "And you're making me the guinea pig just like that? What if this is cow brains or something!"
"It's definitely not brains." Before I can say anything else, she pops it in her mouth without a second thought. Her face turns to a frown as she chews then she shakes her head quickly.
"No." Her mouth’s full of bread and green goop. "Not okay." She manages to swallow then finds her wine glass and chugs almost the whole thing.
"Oh!" I blurt as I watch her annihilate a forty-five dollar glass of wine. "Blue!" I laugh. "You just drank fifty bucks in under four seconds."
"You made me eat fish eggs…or something! I probably just ingested a bunch of smooshed up baby fish. The wine was worth it. What else do we have on this plate?"
"People pay hundreds of dollars for fish eggs, Chuck. It's caviar. But that was not caviar…it's like green Jello…anyway. Cheese." I cut her a piece. "And nuts." I gently place her hand on a walnut.
She spends the next ten minutes tasting everything on the plate like she's in love. If only I could get her to make this face when her tongue is on me. It's close…okay, maybe it's not.
"That was amazing," she sighs, holding tight to my elbow as we leave the café. "It's almost like I can enjoy it more without being able to see it. Like, the smell and taste of everything was so great, but I'm not sure I would have tried it had I seen it. Especially that green stuff." She shudders. "Glad I tried it, new things and all, but it was nasty."
"I'm glad you were the guinea pig too." I kiss her temple and chuckle as she bumps me. "Let's go to the tower before it's too dark. I kind of want to get you in a bed before midnight."
"I agree, for so many reasons." She smiles and gives me a nudge as we make our way through the city.
As we approach the tower, I look up in awe, and I almost remember being a teenager, like when I saw it last. I don't want to think about back then though, so I focus on Charlie, kissing her head.
"We're at the tower, Blue."
She pauses, taking in the sounds of the crowd around us. A crying baby, a couple laughing. There's a tour group nearby and the leader is talking about the history of the tower. All these things I would have never picked up on before Charlie.
"Tell me about it. Can we touch one of the legs?" She squeezes my hand, excitement filling her voice as a smile spreads wide across her face.
I guide her through the throngs of people, keeping her close before we reach the structure. I guide her arm out and smile as she grins, reaching for it. Her fingers dance across the cold metal and over every ridge and bump of the joints. Both her hands reach out and her smile brightens.
"Is it as huge as I'm picturing it?"
"Remember when you said that about my dick?" I step back before her swinging hand hits me then wrap my arms around her from behind and kiss her head. "Yeah, it's big, Blue. Almost a thousand feet of metal."
"You did your research, I see." She laughs, grabbing onto my arms that are wrapped around her.
"There's actually a plaque right in front of us that says it."
"Really?" She looks skeptical.
"No." I chuckle, nibbling her ear. "I should have waited to get you here to propose. I almost proposed on the plane five times, but that moment in the hotel room." I close my eyes a second and remember the sun shining in on her. "That was the right time. Sorry there wasn't anything elaborate."
"I'm happy it was just the two of us. Something like that isn't meant to be shared with strangers, Travis. And an elaborate proposal isn't necessary at all." She smiles and takes my hand as we walk the perimeter of the tower. "Your timing was perfect too. Being in the room was a lot less stressful than being out here with all these people. Plus, the sex after would have been awkward."
I laugh and pull her closer, out of the way of a crowd of kids. "I’ve been following up on your dating site." I smirk when her eyebrow quirks up. "And you guys stream these huge, elaborate proposals and I tried to get ideas but they were all so…bad." I laugh with a shake of my head at these pathetic saps that try to buy a girl's engagement. One thing I love about Charlie, she's easy to woo. I'm not saying I'm lazy about it, but she got teary eyed when I once brought her a cherry that's shaped like a heart.
"Yeah, some are lame." She chuckles. "I help the guys, or girls, with whatever they want when proposing, but that's not me. I've never been a huge fan of elaborate displays like that. Small, private, and simple is much more meaningful in my opinion."
"Good, I'm glad we both agree only Bev and Gus need to be at the wedding." I kiss her lips before she can cut me off.
"And Frankie," she says against my mouth, grinning. "And Kevin. And my parents…probably. Maybe. Or we can just get married here!"
"If it keeps Frank out of our wedding, I'm all for it." I jump when she pinches my side. "Blue," I whisper as I pull my eyes from the tower and focus on the glow in her face. They may not work, but her eyes always have a light in them when we're together. One of the best feelings in the world is being confident the woman you love, loves you just as much. "Let's go back to the room." I kiss across her jaw.
", you home?" Violet yells through the house and I jump up from bed after carefully removing Charlie from my chest. I quickly pull on sweat pants and storm to the door.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I growl after closing the bedroom door.
"Chill out, dude." She chuckles. "I'm going home tonight. It's boring as shit here."
I glance back toward the door and hope Charlie's still asleep. "Is your brother there?"
"Yeah, but I don't want to stay here anymore. Your couch sucks."
"I don't think it's a good idea, Violet." I look at her scarred lip.
"Anyway…" She mumbles. "So did you propose? Bev said you were going to."
I smirk and walk to the kitchen, getting Charlie's coffee ready. "Yeah." I glance her way and she squeals.
Grinning she says, "She totes said no, didn't she?"
I chuckle and shake my head at her. "I really don't think it's a good idea for you to go back to your house. Let me talk to your mom first."
"Fuck that. I don't think it's a good idea you lie to Charlie, but I'm not butting into your business."
"I'm not lying to Charlie," I quietly snap.
"Yeah, okay." She rolls her eyes. "So then you told her you're name's not really Travis?"
"My fucking name is Travis, Violet. Just shut the fuck up."
"Nooo… Your name's Austin and you've been lying to her. Have you told her you're in witness protection?"
"Violet!" I shout and when I look up from the coffee pot I see Charlie standing in the hallway, leaned against the wall. I have no idea what she just heard. "Blue." I round the island and blow past Violet.
"I didn't know you were here," Violet quickly says and rushes to the bathroom.
"I'm making coffee," I blurt at Charlie, taking her hand to guide her to the kitchen but she yanks away. Her normally bright features look like she just heard every damn word Violet said.
"You're in witness protection?" Her eyebrows furrow and she shakes her head. "I…" She pushes off the wall and walks past me, slowly making her way to the living room. "Who are you?" she whispers, turning toward me with confusion on her face.
"What the hell do you mean?" I take her hands but she yanks back again. "I'm Travis. You know me, Chuck."
"But that's not your real name?" She crosses her arms and takes a small step back.
"Fuck," I groan and look down the hallway feeling hatred toward Violet when this wasn't actually her fault. The look on her face when she saw Charlie makes me believe she didn't realize she was here. "Fuck, fuck." I sit and she takes another step back as my leg touches hers. "Sit down," I insist while I try to think of a way out of this. The truth is the only way out of it.
"What's your name, Travis?" Her voice is shaky and the look on her face is killing me. "Answer me!"
"Goddammit! Sit down!" I grab her hips and yank her to the couch so we're touching. "Listen to me. Fuck." I huff and rub my face. "I'm in witness protection. My name's fucking Travis. Everything you know about me is who I am now. Travis Austin Burr. I wasn't born with the first name of Travis, it was Austin. But I'm not Austin anymore. I'm Travis. Your fiancé. This shit ain't a joke, Charlie. People aren't supposed to know this shit. It can put everyone in danger if my new identity is blown. You understand that, right? I didn't willingly tell Violet. She snooped my place and found some shit I should have never kept. That's why she knows." My palms are sweating as I hold her hands, not letting her pull them away.
Her silence is like a knife in the gut. She takes a deep breath and squeezes her eyes closed before finally whispering, "I think I need to go home now. I…I agreed to marry a man I don't really know," she scoffs before trickling out a laugh. "I think I just need to go home." With a firm nod she pulls her hands away and stands.
"You do fucking know me! The guy before jail is the one that's a fucking stranger! You can't seriously be pissed I tried protecting you from a really dangerous situation, Charlie. I'll take you home, but this conversation isn't fucking over," I snap and grab my shoes, slipping my feet into them without socks. I follow her down the hall and watch as she grabs her bag. "Please don't be fucking mad," I quietly beg.
"I'm not mad." The grasp she has on her bag tells me she is. "I'm hurt. I'm confused. I have a lot to think about and I'd rather not do any of it here. With that girl still hiding in your bathroom."
"For fuck's sake, Charlie." I throw on a shirt then jog behind her as she rushes to the door. When I try to help her with her coat, she yanks away from me. "Violet is only a friend. Bev cares a lot about her. You know you have nothing to worry about with Violet," I say while she storms out of the house like she's been lying this whole time about her eyesight.
"From where I'm standing, she knows more about my fiancé than I do," she snaps. "She's an outsider and seems to know more about our relationship than me! I just need some space to think."
"Space. Yeah, fine. Space. And Violet's not a fucking outsider," I snap as I get into the car. "She stays at my house, she eats my food. I'm practically taking care of her like she were my sister, Charlie! She's not an outsider and I'm sick of waiting for you to accept that. I fucking accepted Frankie!"
"How would you feel if I had a guy living at my house, Travis? Living there, sharing everything with me? What if that guy knew all my secrets that I was holding back from you? Huh? Be honest, how would that make you feel? Add on top of it, finding out those secrets are fucking huge? Like, the type of huge that tells me I don't really know you? But you let her in!"
"First of all!" I shout over her. "If you had a little kid, much like Violet is, living at your house, I wouldn't give a flying fuck! You know there's nothing between us except friendship and I'm trying to be a positive role model in her life! Secondly, you're fucking welcome I didn't tell you something that could get you fucking killed! Damn, Charlie! I didn't fucking tell Violet either. She did a bitch thing and snooped and started finding shit out about my past. Before she ran to tell you she discovered my birth name isn't Travis, I had to tell her why she needed to keep her mouth shut. I didn't confide in her to get us closer!"
"You know what," she huffs. "It's fine. This isn't about Violet, I know she's not to blame here." She shakes her head. "I just can't wrap my head around something so bad that you couldn't tell me. What the hell did you do, Travis? Or should I call you Austin? How the hell can someone like you, someone that seems to be a good guy, have that bad of a past?"
"Don't fucking call me Austin," I grit. "Ever. You can use it as my middle name, but don't call me Austin. I'm Travis." I exhale a deep breath then reach over and take her hand. "You knew I went to prison, Blue. I tell you all the time I was a bad ass kid. I did bad shit and got involved with really bad people."
"I need to know everything," she whispers, taking her hand from mine. When her fingers start twisting her ring, I start to panic. "Everything, Travis. Every detail. If we're going to make this work, I need to know everything."
"If I could tell you everything, Charlie, I would. I don't want to put your life in danger. Are you hearing me?"
"My life apparently is already in danger, Travis," she hisses. "The minute you decided to wrap your life in mine, I'm probably already on someone's radar! And, I know your name, and I know you're in witness protection. There's just about everything I need to know that already has me in danger, so what's it going to hurt sharing the honest to God truth with your fiancée?" She huffs. "I need to know everything, Travis. I swear to God, if you don't tell me, I'm getting out of this car when we get to my apartment and not looking back. I'm not growing old with a man I don't know."
I exhale a shaky breath wondering how much I should tell her. "Don't say that shit, Charlie," I snap at her. "I was selling drugs. Not some pot I grew in my backyard on the corner to kids. I was selling heavy shit for Mexican cartel. Me and my crew had to do the dirty work when someone didn't pay up. There was a frat that owed close to thirty grand, they weren't paying so me and my crew went to collect. I got busted."
"Have you ever killed anyone?" Her eyes are cast out the window and her hands tight in her lap.
"No. Not me. I've stood by while other guys in my crew did fucked up shit." My hands grip the steering wheel tightly.
She nods silently. "How'd you get caught?"
"I was in a yuppie town where police responded faster to a call about a cat in a tree than a triple murder in the Bronx. When shit popped off, cops swarmed fast."
"Where was the party?" Her head turns toward me and her expression is showing interest but full of concern.
I bite my bottom lip, my hands make the steering wheel creak as I grip it so tight my knuckles are white. "Ithaca New York."
"When was the party, Travis," she whispers, her eyes narrowing.
"Years ago. Right before I got locked up. I was a dumb kid, Blue." I touch her shoulder as my heart sits in my throat.
"Exactly, Travis," she whispers, pulling away from me. "You remember. I know you do. When exactly was this party in Ithaca?"
"Uh…" I stare out the windshield but start to zone. As a car honks, she gasps and I shake out of it. "I got locked up ten years ago."
"The fucking party, Travis! When was the party that got you locked up?" Her hands are fisted in her lap and her eyes glaring at me like she can actually see me.
"It was a day in January. The twenty-third or something. It was cold as shit, I remember that."
"How many years ago, Travis?" Her teeth are clenched and I know she's losing her cool. "Tell me. How many fucking years ago."
Stopped at a red, I rub my eyes before looking up at her apartment building that's only two blocks away. "I'm hungry. Are you hungry? Want to stop at the bistro?"
She doesn't say anything for a few minutes, but when she does, her voice is full of hurt. "You can't even confide in me? It's like you don't trust me or something…" When she trails off I park the car and her door swings open. It's only a second before she jumps out and slams it closed.
"Chuck, I did fucking confide in you," I quietly say as I catch up with her, opening the building door for her. "I told you why I'm in witness protection. None of this shit should have even come out." I jog behind her while she storms up the stairs, and I'm grateful Frankie's at work right now or she'd be butting in in no time. Charlie flings open her door and stomps into her apartment, dropping her bag and spinning toward me.
"Please, Travis. Just tell me how many years ago this party was," she whispers wiping her hands and that's when I notice her hands are shaking. "I…I need to know. Exactly. How many years ago."
I walk around her toward the refrigerator, looking for food and buying time. "Why do you need to know that? Does the time I've had to repent change anything?"
"Was it icy that night, Travis?" she blurts as she slams her hand down on the island. "There were a ton of people there, wasn’t there? Huge, two story brick home? God awful red paint inside? And the stairway, on the right of the doorway? Is that the one you and your crew had to blow through in order to get the money?" A laugh trickles from her. "Please, for the love of God, tell me that wasn't you at that party." I watch tears well in her eyes before she squeezes them closed. "Please tell me that wasn't you."
I stare at her, the refrigerator door still open and in my clutch while she wipes at her face, trying to fight back what looks like might be a waiting sob.
"Blue." I walk toward her and when I touch her she steps back. It's all out except for this last piece…and I can't lie to her. "That was the party," I whisper.
A whimper escapes and she covers her mouth with a shaking hand, tears start pouring. After sniffling she manages to say, "You know I went to that party that night with Frankie. I left that party…hell I don't fucking remember leaving that party," she growls, backing away from me. "I just know when I woke up, my entire goddamn world was black and it's all because of you…you," she cries and covers her face long enough to collect herself to say, "What happened at that party ruined my life."
"I'm so fucking sorry, Blue." I try to grab her but she forcefully shoves me, hard enough that she stumbles back against the wall. "Charlie—"
"No! You… Who are you? How the fuck does something like this happen? Did you find me and feel bad for what happened and in your sick mind try to make it up to me? And this!" Flinging her hand up, she yanks the ring off with a small struggle. "This was all just a game to you, wasn't it? Feel bad for making this girl go blind because of your fucked up life in the past so you make her fall in love and think everything's okay?" Her hand projects, holding the ring out to me.
I don't even understand where she's getting this shit. Why is she making up this insanity in her head?
"Take it back." The tears streaming down her face and the way her whole body is shaking makes me want to hold her. "Take your fucking ring, Travis! How could you do this?" she screams trying to shove the ring at me.
My mouth hangs open a few minutes. This is never something I would have expected. I never thought this would fall apart as fast as it happened.
"No," I blurt. "No, I didn't find you. I didn't even know who you were, or that some girl went blind that night! All I knew was people got hurt, and because I wouldn't give up my boss, I got held accountable for the injuries and two people that died. I don't know the details, and I sure as hell didn't know witness protection would place me in the same damn fucking state as a girl I fucking hurt!" I scream the last few words as my body starts to shake. "That shit wasn't supposed to happen. But us? We are supposed to happen! I'm not taking the fucking ring back, Charlie. We belong together. And when I found out the details of how you went bind…" I huff, scrubbing at my face. "That was that night at Bev's when I freaked out. I fucking freaked out! I wanted to tell you then, to get it off my chest, but you're not supposed to know any of this shit! And not because I want to keep it from you, but because I want to protect you from the piece of shit I was ten and a half years ago." I curl her fingers around the ring and whisper, "Put your ring back on, Chuck."
Yanking her hand away she mutters, "I feel like such an idiot," and wipes at the tears that are still flowing. "I need you to leave."
"Charlie," I grab her face and she turns away. "I'll leave right now. But don't let this ruin us."
"I think you already made that decision, Travis." She pulls out of my grasp and walks across the kitchen. "You made it ten years ago."
"I didn't know, Charlie! I didn't fucking know. Please don't do this. I'll leave right now. Clear your head for a few hours and I'll come back tonight, Blue." I've never been so desperate in my life and my tone is telling exactly how desperate I am as a knot begins to form in my throat.
"Goodbye, Travis," she whispers with a shaky breath, sliding the ring across the island. "Please take Bev's ring back to her."
I look at the ring before watching her walk down the hall. Touching it, I pause a minute, not sure what to do. She'll never forgive me after finding out the darkness that's been in her life since that party was because of me, but I'll fight for this. I will fucking fix this. My life without Charlie isn't happening.
Leaving the ring, I open the door and lock the handle before closing it.