───────────────

Asher

 

She looks like she’s seen a ghost. Her face is pale, her eyes are huge and she hasn’t moved. Staring through me like I’m not even standing here. Something is going on. Since last night she hasn’t been herself. It makes me wonder if it’s the secrets she’s so unwilling to share.

I slowly approach her, likes she’s a wounded animal. My hand is out, as I walk toward her. “Payton, baby. I’m right here,” I quietly say.

Her eyes crash into mine and she takes a deep breath to fill her lungs. “Asher.”

Reaching her, I wrap my arms around her, holding her close. “It’s me. I’m right here.”

Her arms finally make their way around me and she inhales while her head rests on my chest. Holding her tight, I rub small circles on her back, trying to sooth her.

“Tell me what’s going on?” I whisper.

“Nothing, I’m fine. I just didn’t realize how much I missed you.”

She’s lying. I’ve seen her reaction to missing me before and it involves a lot less clothes. This is fear. Something is scaring her, I just need to know what.

“I missed you too, but why don’t you try being honest with me here,” I demand.

There is only so much I can stand. I fucking love her, but how am I supposed to help her, protect her, if she won’t tell me what’s going on. I’ve never pushed, never expected more than she was willing to give me, but it’s time I know. Keeping her happy is now my goal, and I sure as fuck can’t do that when she won’t be honest with me.

“I told you. Memories, they came creeping up on me last night. I guess I’m still thinking about them,” she admits.

“What memories, Payton?”

She lets out a sigh and pulls back to search my face. “Memories that are better left in the past, Asher. Let them stay there, alright. I’m fine. I’m here with you, that’s all I want.”

“Why don’t you go. Brett and I will work on your car and I’ll bring it over when we are done. Go rest, because when I’m done, we are going to talk, Payton.”

I can see the uncertainty in her eyes, but I’m done letting her hide. Tonight, she will tell me what the fuck she is hiding from me.

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you later,” she says, pressing a sweet kiss to my lips, before brushing past me.

I don’t even bother going after her. She’s not going to tell me what I want to hear right now, so it’s best I let her go. When I head over there tonight though, all bets are off.

“Hey, what the hell is wrong with Payton? You guys get into a fight or something?” Brett asks, coming up behind me.

“Something like that.” I spin around and motion with my head. “Let’s get this car working.”

For the next few hours, Brett and I pull apart the Chevy Impala. She hasn’t kept up maintenance on this car, christ. We’ve replaced spark plugs and wires, distributor cap, fuel filter, and given her a new coil. Even the brake pads need replacing, which is what we are working on now.

“Dude, you seriously need to teach your girl how to take care of her shit,” Brett says, for the millionth time.

“I fucking heard you the first ten times you told me. We weren’t together when this shit happened. No wonder she parked it here and took that old piece of shit she’s been driving.”

“Yeah, well now that you are together, keep on top of this shit,” he says, wiping his hands off on a rag.

I laugh, shaking my head. “Oh damn, are you giving out relationship advice? The guy who had one serious girlfriend in, what grade was that, third?”

“Hey, Tiffany and I were very happy until I found out she ate crayons,” he says, completely serious.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

Sipping his water, he shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe I am an idiot, but I’m not hanging out in the garage, fixing my girl’s car instead of fixing whatever it was you guys were fighting about.”

“Yeah well, it’s not that easy,” I say, finishing up.

“It’s not easy to apologize for whatever it is you did or didn’t do, I think that’s what chicks expect.”

“I can’t wait until you get into a serious relationship. It’s going to be so much fun to watch,” I say, laughing.

“Who said anything about a serious relationship. Give me a girl who likes it rough, and I’m good,” he says, lowering the lift.

“Same shit I used to say.”

“Then you went and became a big pussy,” he laughs, slapping my back.

Crossing my arms, I raise my eyebrow at him. “Jealous?”

“Jealous? Of you being a pussy? No, I like banging pussy, not being one.”

I smile, grabbing a smoke out of my pocket. “Ever get fucking hit by a pussy?” I joke, laughing around my cigarette. I shrug and can’t help the grin that creeps onto my face. “I love her. If that makes me a pussy, I’ll gladly be considered one.”

Nodding his head, he climbs in the driver’s side to test the brakes. “I have been hit by a pussy before. Right in the mouth, and I ate the fuck out of it,” he says, laughing as he winks.

Slamming the door, I tap on the roof. “Let’s take it for a ride and see how it is. I mean unless you’ve got pussy to rush home to? Oh wait, no you don’t, that’s me.”

“You’re a dick. Get in,” he says, as we both laugh.

Driving around, everything feels good. The brakes are working and the engine sounds good. I’m relieved because she deserves to drive this car. I really don’t know why she didn’t have me work on it sooner. Glancing out the window, I rub my neck. She wasn’t even the one to ask, now that I think about it. It was Robert. I wonder why the fuck she didn’t ask me.

“Hey, listen,” Brett says, pulling my attention back.

Listening, I hear something vibrating. “Yeah, so,” I say, grinning.

“What the hell is it?”

“I don’t know if I’m more embarrassed you’re my best friend or that you’re a mechanic right now,” I joke. “It’s something in here vibrating. Probably coins in the door or something. It feels good though, right? It’s not pulling or sluggish?”

“Nah, it’s all good. Your girl will be safe driving it, relax,” he says, pulling back into the garage.

We get out, and I walk over to start cleaning up. The sooner I’m done the sooner I can get over to Payton. It’s been hours, so she better be ready to talk when I get there. I’ve been beyond patient with her.

“Hey, Asher. Check this out,” Brett calls over to me.

“What?” I ask, walking over.

He holds up a small tape. “This is what was rattling in the door.”

“Okay, so put it back,” I tell him.

“Fuck no, come on. Let’s see what’s on it,” he says, smiling.

“Brett, seriously, put that shit back.”

He laughs and looks over the tape. “It could be porn. Oh shit, it could be a sex tape Payton made with someone. We’ve gotta watch it.”

Fuck. The thought of Payton with another guy pisses me off enough. The thought of her on video with another guy makes me want to smash that fucking tape. “I don’t want to see that shit.”

“Fucking pussy. I’m gonna watch it with or without you,” he taunts, going off to the office.

Mother fucker. Running my hand through my hair, I follow behind him. I’m not about to let him see Payton naked.

He puts the tape in, and we watch the screen. My hands are sweating, and I wipe them on my pants, before squeezing the back of my neck. But I realize quickly it’s not a sex tape. It’s a police tape.

“What the fuck is this?” I ask, leaning closer to the screen.

“I think it’s a video from a police car. It’s got a bunch of stuff flashing on the screen.”

Staring at the screen, the first thing I notice is the date, March 26th, 2012. The date alone makes my pulse race. It’s all dark, except for a random car lights flashing by every so often. My throat is beginning to go dry, as I continue to watch the date blink on and off the screen.

Suddenly, it’s as though the world around me stills. Nothing else matters except what I’m watching. The car drifts into oncoming traffic, seemingly not even in control. That’s when it happens. A silver SUV comes into view. But fuck, not just any. It’s their SUV. The wind is knocked out of me, and I need to grab onto the desk.

It happens so fast, I almost can’t comprehend what I’m watching. The big oak tree, metal twisting, glass shattering, smoke rising. “No fucking way,” I whisper, choking back a sob.

“What?” Brett questions, but I’m too focused on what I’m seeing.

That’s when I see him. That son of a bitch ran over to see what he did, and as he’s rushing back to his car, I see his face. It will forever be burned into my memory. I will fucking find him.

“That’s him,” I whisper, trying to speak around the lump in my throat.

“That’s who?” Brett asks, looking back at me.

“That’s the son of a bitch that killed my parents.” Squeezing my eyes tightly for a second, I snap them open. “Brett, go back.”

“Asher, what do you mean this is the guy who killed your parents?”

Scrubbing my face, I blow out a breath. “That’s them. Now go back.”

“No, let’s just take it to the police,” he says, looking up at me with sympathetic eyes.

“Fucking play it back,” I yell, holding tightly to the seat.

I watch again and again. I watch my parent’s SUV come into view before swerving to miss the hit. I watch the person who did it, get out of the police car, check on them and fucking flee. All these years of trying to figure it out and here it is, the fucking evidence. I have Brett freeze it on the person and I get a bad feeling.

“Take that to the cops, I need to see what Payton was doing with this tape.”

“Don’t. You have no idea who that is, don’t go fucking up the only good thing that’s happened to you, probably ever. You’re too emotional right now,” Brett says, trying to be the good friend he is.

“She’s been hiding things, keeping her past hidden. What if this guy is part of the reason? What if she was in the car? What if this whole fucking thing has been a lie because she’s protecting him? Fuck. That.” I feel an anger I haven’t felt since I found out about my parents. Seeing it, watching it play out in front of me, makes me physically sick. I need answers and I need them right the fuck now. But I start to think of Payton, and the fear on her face today. It doesn’t make sense. “What if he’s what’s she’s scared of?” Fuck.

“What?”

“Take that to the cops, I need to go make sure she’s alright. I have a feeling she’s here to avoid him,” I yell, hauling ass to my truck.

I race over there, getting to her place in record time. Jumping out of the truck, I rush up the stairs. I turn the handle and it’s locked. “What the fuck?” Knocking on the door, I step back and fold my arms. A minute goes by and nothing. Knocking, I try the doorknob again. This time I bang my fist on the door and yell her name. I hear the door unlocking and my stomach, that is in knots, starts to relax. But the door only cracks open and she peeks out at me.

“Hey,” she whispers.

“Hey? What’s going on, Payton?” I question.

“Not now, another time,” she says, looking at the ground, as she starts to close the door.

“Payton, what are you doing?” I don’t even know if I’m more pissed or worried at this point.

She swallows, shaking her head. “Nothing.” This time she lifts her head, locking onto mine. “It’s dark now. You know how I feel about the dark.”

Before another word comes out of her mouth, the door slams shut. What the fuck? Staring at the closed door, I run my hands through my hair. Closing my eyes, I blow out a breath and it hits me like a fucking ton of bricks.

“I don’t like the dark. Everything bad that happens, happens when it’s dark.”

Fuck. She isn’t pushing me away, she’s begging for my help. A strength I didn’t even know I possessed comes crashing over me. I slam my body into the door, over and over until I hear it starting to give way. “Fuck. Come on,” I grunt, slamming into it one last time.

The door slams open, banging into the wall behind it with so much force I’m sure the wall is fucked. Stepping in, the air is sucked out of my lungs. My heart slams against my chest, my pulse races and the world crashes around me.

“Payton,” I yell.

Defenseless, powerless, wrecked.