Chapter Ten
Zane popped the milk in the microwave and leaned against the counter. He was supposed to be keeping his distance, not ending up with her in his lap.
He grunted. It was a miracle that Ellen didn’t see the raging boner he was sporting. Waking up with someone next to him, only to discover it was Ellen after the fact, was killing his resolve to be a good guy.
Fuck, he wanted her, especially when her face came just an inch from pressing fully against his cock.
He groaned. Even just thinking about it made him hard all over.
Zane could still her with her cheeks flushed, lips red, and chest rising and falling in the t-shirt he had given her to wear.
Hot as hell. That was the only way to describe it. Hotter than hell.
Zane pulled the mug out of the microwave and gave the milk a little stir. It was warm enough but not too hot.
He smiled as he carried the cup into the other room. At least some things never changed, even after so many years.
“Still drinking milk when you can’t sleep?”
She watched him over the back of the couch. Her gaze wandered down his mostly unclothed body.
Zane gritted his teeth. She had no idea what she was doing to him, he told himself. He was only helping her out because she was in danger.
He wasn’t going to give into his urges. He couldn’t. It’d be bad for both of them in the end.
Besides, she might not even be interested in him. She’d moved on and only come to him because she was in danger, not because she was looking for a boyfriend. Then again, she had been checking him out.
Ellen smiled when he handed her the mug. “Thanks,” she said quietly.
She took a few drinks and set the mug next to her on his end table. When she turned back around, he could see that her eyes were still fixed on his chest.
After a moment, he realized her obsession with his body was probably not about his pecs or abs.
Zane cursed. He’d forgotten about his scars. He’d always been so careful when he was younger never to let her see them, even going so far as to wear shirts when they went swimming.
It had been too long and so much of that part of him was in the past. He’d gotten lazy and sloppy, and now she could see the harsh truth of his younger life.
“Are they burns?” she asked quietly.
He shouldn’t have been surprised really. She was a nurse after all. Not just that, she was an ER nurse. Likely it wasn’t the first time she’d seen burns.
Zane nodded.
She swallowed. “How?”
He thought about lying. It’d be easy. He could make up so many stories. Why not keep it a secret like he had during all those years they knew each other?
Zane stared into her sea green eyes and knew it was over. He was tired of hiding the truth. It was so long ago it didn’t even matter. And it wasn’t like the people responsible had any power over him now.
“Stepdad,” he said.
Ellen’s brows knit together.
Zane shrugged. “Typically there was alcohol involved, but there didn’t need to be. Sometimes just the look of my face used to piss him off. And so he’d teach me… lessons, he called them.”
“Your stepfather did that to you? Oh my God.”
Ellen leaned forward a little and traced the faded mark on his chest. He looked down and watched as her finger skimmed the spot.
“He didn’t burn me often,” he said. “It was too noticeable, but there was always a good beating at least. Mercy wasn’t something he really thought was a good idea.”
A sort of choked sound barely escaped Ellen’s mouth, and her eyes filled with unshed tears. “And beating you wasn’t noticeable?”
He shrugged. “Just sort of blended in with all the other cuts and bruises. If someone saw me messed up, they just assumed I was out causing trouble.”
He had spent his whole childhood fighting. Both at school and at home. Wasn’t much a wonder he found a way to use that strength to make a living. At least now, he could use it to help people instead of just hurting them.
“What about your mom?” she whispered.
He shook his head. “She loved him, and I wasn’t important. So what he did wasn’t important. I was just leftovers from her past failed relationship. Same sort of guy, just a different day.”
The warmth of her palm spread out against his chest. “Why didn’t you say anything? We would have helped.” Tears streamed down her face.
A lump formed in his throat. What the hell was he supposed to say? That if he did, the state might have taken him away from the only people to care about him? Take him away from her?
He couldn’t risk CPS sending him off to some foster home far away. There was no guarantee they would have let him stay with Ellen’s family.
And now he couldn’t admit the truth of how he felt to Ellen, couldn’t draw her closer to him. He’d help her escape the mob, and she could go back to her safe life, a life without him.
“It wouldn’t have mattered,” he said quietly. “Besides, I made it out okay.”
He tried to give a small smile, but she clearly wasn’t buying it.
“We could have still helped,” she said, this time with more fight behind her words. “The idea you were suffering like that, and we just… we should have realized it. We were blind.” More tears came out. “We should have known!”
Zane pulled back, and she dropped her hand to his leg.
“Look, I didn’t want you getting involved,” he said. “I did what I had to do. Sometimes you just deal with the shit that’s in front of you, and it is what it is. My stepdad was the bastard who did this to me, not you.”
She wiped away the tears. Her sadness seemed to have been swallowed by rage.
“It’s not your fault,” Zane repeated.
Her hand on his leg balled into a small fist. “Oh, you make me so fuck—”
For a moment, he thought she might just slap him as she lurched forward. He wouldn’t fight it. If she needed to hit him in frustration, he’d let her get it out.
It didn’t even dawn on him that she was continuing to move forward until her body was flush with his and her hot lips pressed against his mouth.