I hated alarm clocks. I especially hated them when they were early in the morning and took Lila from my arms.

Every morning I awoke with her in my arms was torture when she left them. I watched her slide off the side of the bed, her hair a knotted mess thanks to my hands. Inches of beautiful pale skin speckled with my marks slipped away from my body and into my view.

Naked, beautiful flesh for me to drink in. I watched her arms rise above her head, stretching her sinful body. She glanced back to check if I was awake, and our eyes met.

No “Good morning” or anything. That wasn’t our style.

It was in the way her lips parted. Sometimes she would bite her lower lip, other times her tongue would peek out and wet her lips.

I continued to watch as she walked into the bathroom and listened in as she started the shower. My getting up took longer. While she showered, I stretched. It was something I fought against, but it turned out to be the best thing for me to make it through the day. It helped reduce my daily dependence on pain pills, which always left my mind in a fog.

Over the span of a few months, I’d fucked Lila everywhere. In the elevator, in the office, the parking lot, almost every inch of her condo, and a lot of my own—I couldn’t get enough of her. The need to be inside her was a sickness, a madness that consumed me.

We fell into a routine of sorts over the following month, an unrehearsed dance where we both understood the moves, sliding through each day seamlessly together.

Every night with her in my arms is a perfection I never thought I would experience again. Even if was just in her room, we were something more than I ever expected.

As I stood, my hard cock bounced against my abdomen before sticking straight out. The question I asked as I stretched out my quads on my left leg was how I was going to handle my morning wood.

The shower turned off, and I heard the glass door open. It was short, which meant it wasn’t a hair washing day as those always took her longer.

There was a repetitive snap and pop as I pushed my shoulders back, my spine and ribs releasing muscular tension around them. Lila stepped out of the bathroom, her hair tossed up into a clip, a towel around her. She cocked an eyebrow at me as she moved to her dresser and pulled out some undergarments. The corner of her mouth pulled up as her gaze lingered on my naked body and morning erection. Our eyes locked for a split second before she disappeared back into the bathroom.

I glanced over at her bedside clock, then down to my cock.

There was time.

My dick bounced with each step I made toward the bathroom, toward the sweet smell of her soap and the delicious scent of her skin. It made my dick harder, and the site of her profile made it even worse.

She was naked with the exception of a tiny little thong, her skin still pink from the warmth of her shower. Her arm moved at a fast pace as she brushed her teeth. I was hypnotized, watching the rhythmic bounce as her tits jiggled. Soft, supple flesh I wanted to bite into. Her nipples were hard, probably from the cool air. I wanted them between my teeth, pulling, the combination of pain and pleasure making her walls lock down on my cock.

The lines of her body as she bent over to rinse out her mouth, the way her ass stuck out, made me twitch. I stepped through the door onto the cool tile floor. As she stood up, I was behind her and I pulled at her hips, forcing her back, bending my knees so that my dick rested between her perfect ass cheeks.

Our eyes met in the mirror, and she slowly returned to standing. My fingers flexed on her skin, a groan coming from deep in my chest. Her lips parted, eyes clouding.

I tugged at the thin fabric of her thong, pushing it to the side as I flattened my hand on her back, coaxing her to bend over. A small bend of my knees and the head of my dick found its home. She wasn’t wet yet, but she would be soon.

I pushed forward, the dryness taking a few thrusts before I was all the way inside. Her silence broke into the erotic song that only got me harder, cries of pleasure as I worked my way in and out, her juices soon coating my shaft.

 “Fuck, baby,” I groaned, my eyes glued to our connection, watching my cock stretch her open with each thrust. “Such a good little slut taking my cock whenever I want.”

Every time I bottomed out inside her, she let out a mewling cry. One that drove me faster, made my cock harder. Each provocative sound was so erotic my balls drew up, making me come that much faster.

A few hard, fast strokes, and I slammed into her, my cock jerking with each pulsing stream of come.

She gave me the greatest high. Being inside her, all around her, consuming her. I needed her daily. She was the only reason I moved through any type of life.

The problem was the volatile situation my addiction put us both in. No matter how much I wanted her, how much I needed her to make it through the day, I knew the outcome. I knew the pain I was going to cause her, cause us both, but I couldn’t stop. Every time I tried, the inevitable outcome was a massive breakdown of will.

I hated her. Hated the way she made me feel. Hated the absolute dependent need I had for her. Hated the way she made me break.

It was her fault my cock couldn’t get enough. Her fault I couldn’t stop. If she’d just pushed me away like I asked, she’d be safe.

Instead, I was hooked. Unable to let go.

Each day that passed brought us closer to June, closer to the anniversary of the accident, I grew more afraid. Nothing but pain was headed our way, and I was powerless to stop it.

I took a quick shower, and when I stepped out, Lila had her makeup on and was slipping on a skirt. Almost every day she wore a skirt, and somehow I had yet to bend her over her desk and shove it up her hips.

“Anything sound good for dinner?” Lila asked as she slipped her blouse over her head.

“If we had time, I’d say pot roast.” The temperature fell for the week, and a hearty bowl of warm comfort food sounded good.

“We can do that this weekend.”

I nodded in agreement. “What about a chicken dish? Maybe some pasta on the side?”

“I’ll look for some recipes today and go to the grocery after work. We’ve overdone my pasta bake.”

I chuckled. It was my fault, really.

“At my place tonight,” I said.

Her lips pulled up into a slight smile, her head bowed in a bashful way. “Okay.”

After all the time we’d spent together, all the nights she’d slept in my bed, and the idea of dinner at my place made her oddly shy.

 

 

At the end of the day instead of following each other home, Lila headed for the grocery. Part of me hated that I couldn’t go with her, but it wasn’t worth the risk.

My jacket gone, followed by my tie, and I was about to lose my shirt when the doorbell rang. Figuring it was Lila with her hands full, I ran to the door and swung it open.

It wasn’t a petite blonde with bags stuffed in her arms.

“Dad,” I said in shock at the man in the hall.

“Did I catch you at a bad time?” he asked.

I ushered him in and tried to find the best way to answer that. “I just got home from work.”

“How is that going for you? We haven’t talked in a while.”

We hadn’t talked in over a month.

“Good. A bit boring at times, but it keeps me busy.”

I directed him to take a seat, but I couldn’t join him. Nervous energy was eating me up as Lila was due any minute. How was I going to explain her to him?

“We need to talk, son,” he said, his tone serious.

I nodded, my jaw clenching. How was it those words could still inflict fear in me as an adult? The way he used his Dad-voice made me feel like I was a kid in trouble again. It was a tone I was very familiar with. I was a model student, but I got into my fair share of trouble, too.

And I was, once again, in trouble, even if he didn’t know the extent.

“First, though, how are you feeling?”

I shrugged. “Fine. How are you? How’s Mom?”

“We’d be better if we saw you more often.”

Knife to the heart. My father was never one to pull punches, but he somehow always managed to be caring and diplomatic.

“I know. I’m sorry. First it was the adjustment, then the long hours.”

He nodded in understanding, but before he could respond, we both froze at the sound at the door.

Fuck.

I heard the lock and the door as it opened. Lila had arrived, and I was fucked.

“Nathan?”

I froze, my eyes locked on my father’s.

“Who is that?” he asked.

“That’s…it’s complicated.” I begged him with my eyes to not ask any questions yet as I called out. “In the living room.”

I clenched my jaw in time with the clicks of her heels on the hardwood, my gaze locked on my father. I watched as he stared at the hall, the way his eyes widened when she came into view.

The clicks stopped, and Lila’s unsteady words filled my ears. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

She stared at my father for a moment before looking to me, and I beckoned her to my side. It was a necessary move to calm us both down, because I could almost feel the anxiety flowing from her.

I wrapped my arm around her waist, her beautiful eyes filled with a cross between curiosity and concern.

“Lila, I’d like to introduce you to my father, George Thorne.” I moved my gaze from her to my father. “Dad, this is Lila, my…my Lila.” Every muscle tightened, and I pulled her closer as I awaited his reaction.

A gasp left him as he stared at her with emotions that tore at me. Emotions of surprise and joy, which were the reason I never wanted them to meet. Because as much as I wanted her, as much as I needed her with every breath, we were doomed.

Like Romeo and his Juliet, we were a tragedy. A semi headed straight for a collision with a slab of concrete.

There was only decimation in our future.

He held out his hand. “Lila, it’s a true pleasure to meet you.”

My fingers dug at her clothing as she left my side and stepped forward to slip her hand in his. “You as well, Mr. Thorne.”

Dad smiled at her. “George, please.”

When his features morphed from a cautious happiness to slacken, I glanced down to follow where he was looking. I tilted my head back and cursed.

Fuck.

Her arms were bare, exposing the bruises that she gained daily when we fucked. Lila noticed as well and pulled her arm free.

“Are you staying for dinner, George? I’m making chicken marsala.”

He forced a smile, but his jaw was noticeably tight. “No, no thank you, my dear. I would love to, but Mrs. Thorne is expecting me home soon.”

I didn’t want to have the coming conversation with my father, and I didn’t want him to tell my mom. Add that in with the bruises, and the air was thick with an uneasy tension as Dad looked between us.

“Well…I’ll just let you return to your conversation, and I’ll go work on dinner,” Lila said as she stepped away from me again, severing herself as a shield for the coming conversation. “It was very nice meeting you, George.”

He gave her a nod, but she’d barely left the room before he let loose. “Nathan, are you…hurting her?”

I blinked at him and almost stuttered. “What?” Hurt her? Hurt my Lila? Was he insane?

“Son, she has bruises on her biceps and wrists. Are you abusing that girl?”

I shook my head and held my hands up. “No. Never. Jesus, Dad.”

“He is not hurting me,” Lila practically yelled as she stormed back in, her hands resting at the hem of her shirt.

Beneath the fabric were worse bruises, bite marks, the evidence of my depravity for her. A sight I wouldn’t allow him to witness.

“Lila, no.” A sliver of her milky white skin peeked out from between her skirt and shirt, but I managed to stop her before things got worse.

“No. He has to see.” She continued to pull at the hem while I pushed them back down. “I will not allow your father to think you are abusing me! That you are hurting me!”

I pushed at her hands again, forcing them down. “I said no, baby. Only I get to see you without your clothes, even if my father is a doctor.”

The little vixen wasn’t backing down, and the beast purred while my dick twitched, excited for the explosive fuck that was to come.

A crackle filled the air as we faced off. I waited for her to back off. There was a strength in her, a determination that fueled her in a way I’d only seen a few times before. She was submissive to a point, awkward to the outside world, but beneath the scars, I had a feeling my girl had the strength of a goddess.

“Fine,” she said, the fight leaving her.

I would win anyway.

She moved her hands up to her hair and pulled it away.

Yeeesssssss. Ours!

Mine.

Fuck I loved to see the marks I’d left on her skin. The proof that she was mine. I’d marked her in every way I could. There were still more ways, but I couldn’t risk any more than I already had.

Even my father’s gasp couldn’t tamp down the pride I had for them.

“I’m an easy bruiser, Mr. Thorne. Malice and hate does not mark me. Nathan’s passion and need do. I know the sting of an angry hand, and that is something Nathan does not have with me.”

The beast whimpered, and I reached up to caress the marks. Her skin beneath my fingers was electric, filled with the heat I so desperately needed.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against her skin, soothing the bite mark I’d left the night before. So engrossed was I with my lips on her that I didn’t even notice her reach up and pull my collar back to reveal her own marks on me.

“See? He’s not doing anything to me that I don’t want him to. We just get a little…carried away, is all.”

Dad cleared his throat, and I realized I was getting a little sidetracked. One last kiss to her skin, and I backed off, slipping my hand in hers.

“I’m sorry, Lila, Nathan. I was just concerned.” He let out a hard breath before steadying his gaze on me. “It’s apparent your anger is getting out of control. I mean, look at what you’ve done to the entryway in the past few months.” He motioned to the chunks of missing drywall. “I was just worried that you…Darren told me you haven’t been by in months. He wanted me to let you know he won’t refill your prescriptions anymore unless you get back in to see him.”

Fuck.

Fucking fuck fucker fucking making me…

I released her hand and rubbed my face, mashing the heels into my eyes. “I know, I know.”

I’d been putting it off, mostly because I knew I’d be too tempted to ask about Lila. Darren was her doctor as well, but I hadn’t told her yet.

“This is serious, son. I want you to get better. I want to see you smiling again. I want to see you happy.” I didn’t miss his eyes glance over to Lila. “But you’ll never be any of those if you don’t get help.”

I couldn’t stop the snort that came out as I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, because the last three and a half fucking years of therapy have done wonders.”

“It only works if you actually want help and work at getting better. Not going in months, not talking to him about your new relationship… Things are changing for you, and you need some support to help you get through this, work through this. To move on, so you aren’t weighed down any longer. You deserve it, as does Lila.” I saw the concern etched into his features. Everything he said was true, but I couldn’t risk it. “You’re going through your meds at a much faster rate than usual. David also told me you missed your last appointment.”

“I had to reschedule it, that’s all,” I snapped. I had a long list of doctors, but only two that I saw regularly—one for the head and one for the body. “And I’ll call and get in with Darren this week.”

“Because you’re out of meds?” he asked, though it was more of a statement.

I nodded.

“Well, I should be headed out now before your mother begins to worry.” He stood and walked over to me, his arms wrapping around me for a hug. “I love you, Nathan.”

I pulled him tight and nodded. “I love you too, Dad.”

He then turned to Lila and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you, Lila. Please take good care of him.”

Lila froze, my father exposing one of her social flaws. The awkwardness in her, the inability to understand social cues, was astounding. I had a little insight into her past, much more than she did to mine, but I knew whatever happened to her stunted her in so many ways that she had no knowledge on how to handle some situations.

“Have a good night. I hope to see you at dinner sometime soon. Your mother misses you,” he said, shoving the knife further into my heart. “Oh, and don’t forget to bring this lovely young lady with you. Your mother would love to meet her. It was such a pleasure meeting you, Lila.”

“You too,” she said as he stepped through the door.

I stared after him, my gaze moving to Lila every once in a while. No words came to me in reaction to what had happened, and she offered nothing.

“Dinner?” she asked.

My stomach rumbled, deciding to answer for me. We both let out a laugh, which broke the tension.

 

 

Once fed, a different kind of hunger took hold. I tried to fend it off with cleaning up the cooking mess we made, but having Lila right beside me and remembering what she’d done, I was worked up.

There was a swimming rule of waiting thirty minutes after eating, and I wondered if that applied to sex as well. I decided it didn’t matter.

I pulled her into my arms and gave her a light, teasing kiss. Lila refused to be teased again and wrapped her arms around my neck, holding me in place as she stretched up.

Deeper, harder until I was pushing her up against the counter.

“Come on, Honeybear, let’s move to the couch. I need a new batch of bruises on my body so I can scare the neighbors…”

She rolled her eyes at me, at the pet name I’d given her, but she didn’t complain. I had a feeling she liked it, even with its ridiculousness.

I sat down on the couch and found the remote.

“Why is it that you don’t want me to see Andrew, but your fan club can hang all over you?” she asked as she stood in front of me, her legs straddling mine. “That sounds like a double standard to me, Mr. Thorne.”

I reached up and grabbed her waist, my thumbs caressing her skin.

“It’s simple. I have no interest in any of them, and I have never touched, nor will I ever touch, any of them. Andrew, on the other hand, has shared a bed with you, been in a relationship with you, had his cock inside you.” A growl rumbled through my chest, my fingers flexing on her hips. “I know he wants you, and you have every opportunity to go back to him. He wants to take what’s mine.”

“They want what’s mine,” she said. “And how do you know Andrew wants me?”

I sighed and quirked my brow at her. “Delilah, I know you’re naïve in some regards, but trust me, he wants you back. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. And, yes, the girls may want what’s yours, but have I ever touched them? Have I ever given any indication I wanted to pursue any of them? I don’t want to pursue anyone.”

“You pursue me,” she said.

I froze as her words sliced through me. It was true, I had pursued her.

“Yes. Against my better judgment.”

“What does your judgment tell you to do?” she asked.

“It says that it’s better for you if we weren’t together, but that line of thinking makes me want to go mad, and I find it even harder to let go of you.”

“So…you’re saying…that your heart pursues me?”

Is that what I’m saying?

Yes.

“Your head rejects me, but your heart wants me?”

For months I’d tried to work Lila out. Early on, I got a generalized overview of her. She was dead on, the same words having gone through my mind before.

I tightened my grip and pulled her close, down to my lap, and leaned my forehead to hers.

“I’m sorry…” she trailed off, her hands smoothing across my back and shoulders.

I pulled her flush and grazed my lips down her neck and across her shoulder. With my teeth, I moved the thin strap of her tank top to the side, letting it drop around the curve of her shoulder.

Time to show her how much my body wanted her.