Penn is looking at it like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. His eyes are wide with child-like innocence and his mouth is slightly open as he walks around the table, taking in every stitch, every new modification, and the possibility of what it’s going to become.

“What do you need me to do?” he finally asks after he’s taken it in. He places his hands on either side of its head as it watches him with curious eyes. Penn is looking down at it, runs a hand over the side of its face, then turns his attention back to me, eager for instruction.

A little too eager for my liking.

But I’m still grateful for the extra pair of hands.

“First, you need to put on some gloves. You’ll find them on that table over there,” I say nodding to a long, wooden table full of tools and devices that sits alongside the back wall.

Penn quickly goes over and locates the pair I mentioned, slipping them on, as he walks back toward us. I’m smiling down at it and its looking up at me with a kind smile dancing in its eyes.

“Do you … uh, do you love that thing?” Penn asks me curiously.

“I love all of them,” I reply softly, looking up at him again. “Someone has to.”

He gives me an amused look before he shrugs, “So what are we doing?”

“We’re finishing it,” I say, moving away from the piece and walking toward the table. There’s a rather large rucksack sitting in the middle with the final parts that will make this everything the owner required it to be, and while it will hurt it for the most part, I’m hoping that with Penn’s help, we can move quickly.

I pick up the heavy bag and go back to the metal table.

“Fuck, can you grab that power drill for me? There should be two, actually,” I say to Penn as I drop the bag onto the floor and begin to unpack it.

He nods and moves quickly, returning with the necessary tools we’ll need to get these fucking things screwed into place.

“I wish I had something to give you that would dull the pain, but nothing will help this time. We’ll move fast, though. I promise,” I say to it softly as I place the handmade, metal hooves onto the table.

“How do I do this?” he asks, patiently holding out one of the drills toward me.

“You have to slide it on—rest it on the ankle bone, then use one of the bolts to get it into place. That’s where the drills come in,” I say to him quietly as I fidget with my own drill. I press the button and it comes to life, briefly causing the pet to let out a frantic moan.

“I know, believe me, I know. But we all have to feel real pain at some point in our lives to become the beautiful things we’re destined to be,” I tell it as I move down toward the end of the table and slip the other hoof on.

Penn looks at me and waits. It honestly surprises me that he hasn’t asked anymore questions or even backed out of doing this. Maybe he knows that I need him as much as it does, or maybe he just has no regard for human life.

Either way, he’s a godsend right now.

“Aiden’s gonna be so pissed at me,” I say to no one in particular with a soft chuckle.

“Why?” Penn asks.

“Because she was supposed to help me finish this,” I explain, shaking my head woefully. “Alright. On three. Ready?”

“Yeah.”

“One.” It whimpers, and I try not to make eye contact with it. “Two.” We both power our drills on and line up the bolts with its ankle bones. “Three.”

* * *

“That was fucking amazing,” Penn exclaims with a huge smile on his face. We’ve finished securing the hooves now and I’ve been cradling its head, trying to help with the pain and show it that even though it’s a completely transformed into a pet now, that I hope it can forgive me.

“Can you give us a minute?” I ask him irritably. Its tears have almost subsided, but I know the pain will last much longer because I chose to not sedate it this time.

Penn looks stung. Like I reached over and slapped him, but he has to understand that gloating in front of a pet is something I don’t do, nor will I tolerate.

“Sorry. I’ll clean up the mess,” he offers quietly.

I nod at him as he begins to put the drills away, the bag slung over his shoulder on his way back to the table.

He leaves the room once he’s done and I can hear the echo of his footsteps as he jogs down the stairs.

“He’s new at this, but I think he did a good job, don’t you?” I ask it softly. It closes its eyes tightly, tears streaming down the side of its face, and manages a small nod.

“It’ll go away soon—the pain doesn’t last forever. I’ll help you take your first steps before I turn you over and if you don’t like your new owner after some time, you can come back to me.”

Penn returns a few moments later with a hand towel and a bottle of antiseptic. Without a word, he quickly goes to work washing the outside of the hooves and getting as much into the cuff as he can, careful to do his best not to hurt it.

My heart fills a little more for him because of how gently he’s caring for it in his own way. I think he understands now that even though its not quite human anymore, it deserves to be treated with a modicum of respect. It needs to be loved just like anything else in this world—and it deserves it more than most.

When he’s done, he leaves the room again, and I follow not far behind him. Of course, I’ve kissed my finished product gently on the forehead as I always do in parting after I’ve worked on it and tell it that tomorrow, I’ll deliver it where it belongs.

By the time I make it back down to the second floor, Penn is walking back down the hallway from the bathroom and gives me a nervous look.

“Sorry if I pissed you off up there. I really was only trying to help, and I didn’t think being proud of what we did would make you mad,” he explains with a sheepish grin.

“Why were you so comfortable doing that? And getting rid of Julie?” I finally ask, giving him an inquisitive stare. At this point, I don’t think secrets between us should be a thing and I’m hoping he agrees.

Time will tell.

“Huh? Oh,” he begins with a laugh. “Did you ever hear about those places that you can go where you can pay like x amount of dollars and shoot someone in the head or some shit? Well, last year, me and a bunch of my buddies went overseas and found one. It’s not so bad after you pull the trigger—it’s more of a rush than anything else, know what I mean?”

I stare at him, unblinking, shocked by his revelation and doing my best not to show it.

“Not really,” I finally manage to say.

“Well, you’ve killed too, even if it was by accident, that chick? She didn’t fall down the stairs, I bet,” he says, the grin widening on his face.

My face turns red and he nods knowingly. “It’s okay. If I was going to narc on you, I already would have done it.”

“Right,” I reply evenly.

I sigh and look away from him. My mind wanders back to Aiden and how she’s holding up, but something tells me that even if I ask Penn, he won’t tell me.

“Hey, so. Didn’t you promise me something?” he asks, taking a few steps forward and sliding his arms around my waist.

I chuckle and drape mine around his shoulders, peering into his eyes and wondering if maybe this is something more than just randomly fucking.

“Can I ask you something?” I ask with a smile.

“She’s fine. I called the doctor before I came over,” he replies, leaning forward.

I pull my head back and shake my head. “It’s not about Aiden, but thanks for the update.”

“Then what is it?”

“Before Aiden told you that I had a thing for you, did you know?”

Penn’s lips curve into a dangerous grin as he raises his eyes back to mine. “Maybe. But like I said, I’ve never been with a guy before and my friends aren’t exactly the understanding type, so I always knew that I would have to act like you weren’t there even though you were.”

“Oh.”

That makes sense. Rich, little bastards that fly around the world shooting people in the head for fun can’t handle one of their own having a same sex relationship.

I guess it’s just fucking after all.

“Fuck them,” he says dismissively. “They’re usually so coked out, they wouldn’t know a good thing if it hit them in the face with a brick—but I do. And while I may have to keep this from them, I … I want what you promised me. I need it really. You’re like a fucking drug that I hadn’t tried yet, Gray and from the first taste, I’ve become hooked on you.”

“And what happens when you decide you need rehab? What then?” I ask him quietly.

“There’s no cure for you. And if there is? I don’t fucking want it,” he breathes, stepping forward and pressing his soft lips against mine.

I close my eyes and lose myself in his kiss. I didn’t realize how desperately I need him until I felt him pressed against me again and I’ll do everything I can to never have to let go of him.