Chapter twenty

JAMESON WILCOX

Bewildered, Grace stares at me across the desk in my home office.

“I don’t understand,” she states again.

“I’m a bounty hunter,” I reiterate.

“No,” she shakes her head. “You told me you were a security guard.”

Trying to approach this delicately, I mull over my next choice of words.

“What I told you is that I wanted to start a private security business.”

Her eyes squint, amber pools still drowning in confusion.

“I was hired by Brick to capture you.”

Grace recoils as if she’s been slapped in the face.

A shooting pang of regret takes root in my chest.

I’ve done a lot of fucked-up things in my life but none have made me feel quite as guilty as lying to Grace Chambers.

She doesn’t deserve that.

“Jameson, I don’t understand…” her words trail and I see moisture gathering in her beautiful eyes.

“I fucked up, Grace.”

Betrayal is reflected all over her features and it rips my heart in two, knowing that I’m the culprit.

“So, it was all a lie?” she chokes on her words as the first few tears finally slide down her cheeks.

“No,” I say emphatically.

“I trusted you.” Her words are accusatory and for good reason.

“Grace,” I began sorrowfully but she doesn’t let me finish.

“Why did you pretend to care?”

The question slices through my resolve.

“I never pretended to care about you, Grace. I just did. I never had to fake my feelings for you because they came naturally after we spent more time together.”

Her head whips in my direction, suspicion the dominant emotion there on her face.

I lean forward, palms facing upward.

“I wasn’t honest with you. And for that I’m sorry.”

Grace glares at me but says nothing.

“But I won’t apologize for falling in love with you, Grace.”

“In love?” she echoes, her expression transforming. Distrust is replaced by inquisitiveness. But she masks the emotion as soon as it emerges.

“Yes, I’m in love with you.”

Saying the words aloud is both terrifying and freeing.

Grace has never alluded to the fact that she loves me. And I know even if she doesn’t reciprocate these feelings, it won’t dim the devotion I have for her.

No other woman in my life has ever crept beyond the exterior and infiltrated my heart.

Until Grace.

“Love doesn’t lie, Jameson,” Grace mutters and the disappointment in her voice is disheartening. She leans away from me and folds her arms across her chest in a protective gesture.

Her words slice through me and I know she’s right. On one level.

“I just wanted to protect you. From Brick and from the truth of who I am. I knew that if I was honest with you from the beginning that my chances were nonexistent.”

Grace tilts her head to observe me, stealing my signature move.

“And how are you feeling about your chances right now?” she asks.

I swallow the anxious knot in my throat and let silence answer the question.

“This is unbelievable,” she mutters to herself.

Instead of raging emotion, I’m met with her silence which I think is worse. At least if she was yelling at me, I could try to deescalate the situation. I have nothing to work with here and it’s driving me insane.

I feel the need to further explain myself.

“Grace. Don’t leave me. Please,” I urge. “I knew the second time we met, that I would do whatever I had to do to protect you. It was never my plan to fall for you. It just happened. Naturally. I was supposed to meet you and deliver you to Brick. Plain and simple. But I was so drawn to you. I kept coming up with excuses to see you again. I wanted to be wherever you were. I wanted to text you all day, and call you every night. It was so outside of my character but with you, it just flowed.”

She blinks in my general direction and I’m not even sure she’s absorbing my words.

I continue anyway.

“You’ve become everything to me, Grace. When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is you. I meant what I said about protecting what’s mine and you are mine, Grace. Forever. Whether you want me or not, I’m here. I need to know that you’re safe. I need to know that you’ve eaten. I need to know about your shitty day at the office. And I need you to know that I love you and that will never change.”

After my spiel, Grace’s face is even tougher to read. She’s not giving anything away.

“I want to go home,” she says.

Panic sets in and I don’t have a problem letting it show. I can’t let her leave me tonight. I’m afraid that she’ll run and I’ll never see her again.

“It’s late. I don’t feel comfortable driving you home tonight,” I say.

Annoyance colors her features. “Fine, I’ll call Stephania.”

Then her face falls and I know she’s remembering that she left her phone at home.

“Can I use your phone?” she sounds loathe to ask me for anything.

“Stay here tonight,” I persist. “I won’t touch you, I won’t even sleep in the same bed. But please don’t leave.”

The exhaustion seems to conquer any of the fight she has left in her and she gives in.

“I’ll be in the guest room.”

She quietly dismisses herself without a backwards glance.

Though the impulse is strong, I decide not to crowd her and give her the space she needs. I’ve said a mouthful. Some things I hadn’t planned to reveal.

But now everything is on the table.

She has all the power now.

*****

I don’t sleep a wink all night, my nerves are strung too tight.

But knowing that Grace is in a nearby room comforts me.

In my office, I down almost a full bottle of bourbon.

I don’t undress or go to my room, even though I know Mendoza came to scrub the scene before I returned.

It just wouldn’t feel right sleeping there without Grace when I know she’s in another corner of my home.

My blood-spattered jacket is discarded on the sofa against the far wall and my shoes are in a corner somewhere. Long ago, I unbuttoned the collar of my shirt. An outsider looking in might say I look calm, however I’m anything but.

I can’t shake the image of Grace’s face when the betrayal sank in.

I’m a piece of shit.

At nine a.m., I can’t take the confinement any longer.

The house is silent so I assume Grace is still out like a light.

Standing up, I head to my room to shower and change.

Under the scorching water, I meditate on the events of the last twelve hours.

I almost lost her to that bastard and the thought breaks me.

Bowing my head, I let the pounding water cascade over my head and shoulders.

Moments later, the glass shower door slides open.

I hold my breath when I see a naked Grace standing there, her make-up from last night smeared from tears.

She steps into the shower and I don’t think twice about making space for her.

We stand under the spray of water in silence for a few moments before she reaches out to turn the knob.

“I don’t know why I’m not angry,” she states pensively.

I remain quiet. She let me speak uninterrupted last night and I would grant her that same privilege.

“I hate that you lied to me. I hate that I believe you. I hate that I don’t want to leave. I hate that I want to be with you. I hate that I love you, too. But for whatever reason, I can’t get angry.”

Her words wash over me and wring out all my fears.

I’m not in this alone.

She loves me too.

“Never lie to me again,” she demands fiercely.

Her eyes rage with fire and the intensity has a chilling effect on me.

“Never,” I promise.

“No more secrets,” she adds.

“None,” I oblige easily.

Her forgiveness is unspoken but it still speaks volumes between us.

When the silence stretches between us, I bow my head towards her hungry for a kiss.

My lips crash against hers and I pour my emotions into every lick and caress. Her pliant mouth yields to the force of the aggressive lip lock.

Hands tangled in her hair, I’m panting after a minute of nonstop contact.

Pulling away, I make a solemn vow.

“You have my word, Grace. I adore you and I will spend the rest of my life protecting you.”