Chapter Eight
Meg
A couple of days pass and I don’t change my mind.
In fact, I warm right up to the idea of sharing Mateo with Mia.
I’m still not sure completely how it works, but he’s obviously into it, I think she’ll be into it, and I’m not about to be the odd man out.
So, we’re doing this.
Or, we’re going to try anyway. I’m not sure when. I’m not sure how. Mateo doesn’t seem to be in any kind of rush, but I assume that’s just because he wants to make sure I’m fully on board.
I call her up Wednesday and tell her I want to go shopping. She doesn’t blow me off this time, and our outing is reassuringly normal.
So I ask her if she wants to spend the night.
“Are we going to snuggle again?” she jokes.
“Maybe,” I shoot back, with a breezy smile.
I have said nothing about Mateo’s idea. My assumption is he wants to be the one to propose it, and I imagine it will go down much easier if he does, too.
When we get back home, Mia accompanies me to our bedroom so I can put my dresses away. She takes a tentative seat on the edge of the bed, her gaze wandering back up to where we all slept a few nights ago. I wonder if she’s reliving it in her mind. I wonder how many times she’s relived it since she left.
I sort of wish Mateo would’ve already talked to her about it, that way I could talk to her about it. There’s a lot to discuss, rules to establish.
“Do you like Francesca’s room?” I ask, stepping out of my walk-in and closing the door.
Mia nods, bringing her gaze back to me. “Oh, yeah. Her room’s great.”
“Her closet is even bigger than mine,” I remark.
“It’s incredible. It’s one of the first things I saw when I originally came to this house, actually. First Mateo’s study, then Francesca’s giant walk-in closet. I was completely blown away.”
I smile a little, imagining it. “I bet. What was your life like before? We’ve talked a little about your family, but not really before you came here.”
“My mom’s…” She contemplates for a moment, looking for the right word. “Lively? Youthful?”
“Irresponsible?” I offer.
Barely stifling a smile, she says, “Well, it’s not the word I would’ve used, but she did enjoy having a much older daughter to share the responsibilities. Which I get,” she adds, because she’s Mia. “She was a young, single mom so it’s not like she had a partner to help carry the burden. She had me instead. So mostly I would just watch my siblings. I helped out with them a lot until I met Mateo. Once I met him, he wanted me to live here, so he gave me a fake nanny job, paid my mom off, sent her half of my fake paycheck.” She rolls her eyes. “He paid her half of my fake paycheck all the way up until I started my first semester of college, and I haven’t even lived here since spring.”
“So, irresponsible and money-hungry? She sounds like June Cleaver.”
Mia shrugs, apparently as generous with others as she is Mateo. “She does her best, I think. It grated on me sometimes, but I got a lot of childrearing experience. Not that I’ll need it,” she adds, rolling her eyes.
“With Vince,” I say, ignoring the pang of guilt this gives me. Of course Mateo has to want to the 19-year-old who wants babies. Of course.
“Yeah,” she says softly, nodding. “Not as long as we’re together, anyway.”
“But, I mean, you’re still young. Trust me, I had a baby young, and that shit is hard. They’re adorable with their gummy little grins and their tiny little fingers and toes, but if the dad isn’t a team player and you don’t have a nanny? Hard. Draining. And you’re so young, Mia.”
“I wasn’t planning on having one tomorrow or anything,” she says, rolling her eyes. “I’d like to finish college first. But if my choices are have one right now or not get one at all? I’d suck it up and have one now.”
“Well, do you really think you’ll end up with Vince, though?”
That one makes her wince. She also doesn’t immediately respond, grabbing a decorative pillow instead and toying with its tassel. “I don’t know.”
“Sorry,” I say, realizing that seemed emotionally detached. “I realize you guys have been together for a while, and you apparently went through a whole thing to get together in the first place. But, I mean, he’s your high school boyfriend. I’m pretty sure it’s more common not to end up with your high school boyfriend than it is to end up with him. Especially you two, with your… issues.”
It looks like she agrees with me, but instead of saying that, she tells me, “It’s complicated.”
“Is it complicated because you love him, or because your lives are so completely spliced together that you don’t know where you go after him?”
“Jeeze, Meg, I thought we’d talk about shoes, not this,” she says, lightly. When I only offer a faint smile, she tries to come up with an answer for me. “I love… parts of our life. Parts of my life. I really like college. I haven’t been going long, obviously, but I really enjoy going. I didn’t think I would get to go, because I didn’t think it would be financially feasible, and obviously Vince’s family is paying for it. I like our friendship—you and me,” she says, her eyes meeting mine. “This is important to me. I sort of lost my best friend when I got together with Vince, because she was a civilian, for lack of better word. She thought it was nuts to get involved with him, and she judged me pretty hard—which I understand.” Frowning slightly, she says, “You just don’t get it from the outside. It seems so cut-and-dry; they’re the bad guys. It’s insanity. Stay away. But then you fall down the rabbit hole and there’s so much more to them than that, and it’s just….”
I nod, because I totally get it. “Yeah, I know.” Flashing her my engagement ring, I add, “Rabbit hole inhabitant, right here.”
The sight of my ring causes her to dim a bit, and I remember she doesn’t know what I know.
“Would you leave Vince, if you could? If you wouldn’t lose your place in the world?”
Looking a little unsure, she asks, “My place in the world?”
“Your place in the Morelli world,” I specify, holding her gaze. “Mateo and I touched on this after the wedding. Neither of us really thinks you and Vince are going to make it—no offense. What if Mateo kept paying your tuition and you moved back to the mansion?”
“Back to the mansion?” she questions, her big blue eyes about as wide as they can get. Then she looks about as torn as a person can. I wish she’d say why, but she can’t, because Mateo has to be out doing other things and not catching her up on the decisions we’ve made about her life. Damn the man.
“Yeah. Francesca’s wing’s available again, after all.”
Mia considers this for a very long time. Well, only a couple minutes, but it seems like an exceedingly long time. Finally she looks back at me and shakes her head. “I don’t think that would be a good idea. Mateo owns me when I live here.” Then she clears her throat and adds, “I don’t see myself leaving Vince in the immediate future anyway, so we probably don’t have to worry about it yet.”
I walk over and join her on the bed, reaching over to place my hand on hers. “I spent a lot of time in a relationship with someone I didn’t love. Like, not even as much as you love Vince, I think. When he died, I literally felt nothing. I never cried. I felt like a monster, but… I didn’t care. You’re obviously more of a feeler than I am, so I know you would feel that deeply. You’re more loving. More of a giver. But be careful you don’t give too much, because the men in our lives? They like to take. It doesn’t feel like you’re being replenished.”
Mia sighs miserably, not looking at me. “I think Vince hates me. Like, really hates me. I don’t understand why he keeps holding on.”
Shrugging, I offer, “Maybe he thinks the same of you.”
Shaking her head before she can think better of it, she says, “No, he knows why I stay.” Her eyes widen briefly, like she just slipped, but she promptly catches herself and schools her expression. I imagine it has something to do with Mateo, so I don’t press. No point making her feel guilty now, when he’ll talk to her about all this later.
“Anyway, this conversation isn’t cheerful,” she tells me, offering a slight smile.
“I want you to be happy,” I tell her honestly.
Her smile is sad as she places her hand over mine, her gaze drifting to my stomach. “And I want you to be happy.”
It goes without saying, and she’d never say so because she wouldn’t want to guilt me, but if only one of us can be happy, Mia would let it be me. She is so much better, so much kinder than I am. I don’t think I could ever make that kind of sacrifice for her.
But then, she isn’t just making it for me. She’s making it for Mateo. She knows we’re happy together. If I guarantee his happiness, then that’s that.
Impulsively, I wrap my arm around her shoulder and give her a sideways hug. “You’re a really good friend, Mia.”
She tries for a nervous laugh, but it comes out more of a guilty sob. “No, I’m not.”
I squeeze her. “Yes, you are. Don’t argue with me, I know what I’m talking about.”
She sighs, resting her head on my shoulder, and I wish Mateo would get his ass home so he could lighten the burden on Mia’s shoulders.
---
Of course this is one of the rare nights Mateo doesn’t make it home in time for dinner.
Adrian is out with him, so it’s just me, Mia, and Elise. I still don’t think Elise likes us, but we invite her to sit at our end of the table anyway, since it’s silly to be all spread out at our assigned seats when my beloved isn’t here to be bothered by our informality.
“What are you going to name the baby?” I ask.
At this, Elise brightens. After Francesca’s wedding, Adrian informed Mateo that he proposed to Elise, and that she’s pregnant. My thought is that since we’re having babies so close together, we can bond over mommy things.
“Obviously we don’t know what we’re having yet, but we have first names picked out for both. We still have to decide on middle names, but we like Westley for a boy, Candace for a girl.”
“Oh, I like those,” Mia says. “I always thought Annalise would be a great name for a little girl, if I ever had one.”
I stab my salad, wishing she’d stop making me feel so damn guilty. I’m already willing to share my man with her—must she yearn for his babies, too? Maybe she’ll relax about the baby thing once I give birth. Then she’ll have a baby to hold and play with whenever the mood strikes her.
Yeah, I like this plan.
I won’t bring her in yet, but if this arrangement works out, we can include her in the family aspect, too. We have plenty of little people between us to meet her maternal needs. I just don’t want Mateo impregnating her. That’s not unreasonable.
“We’ll probably go with something bookish,” Elise tells us. “Candace Jane, maybe.”
“Jane Austen?” Mia guesses.
“Jane Eyre. But sure, Austen, too. Adrian’s a big reader and he used to tutor me back in the day, so it seems appropriate to use one of those names.”
“That’s sexy,” I state, nodding at her. “The teacher-student thing? I like that a lot.”
Elise smiles, a little bashful, as she gets another forkful of salad. “It wasn’t like that. He was a perfect gentleman. Obnoxiously so. I didn’t even know he liked me that way.”
Mia grins, taking a sip of wine since she’s the only one of us not knocked up. “I can’t picture Adrian as a tutor. He’s so gruff. Did he grumble every time you got something wrong?”
Elise beams, shaking her head. “He’s never like that with me.”
“We should throw you a bookish baby shower,” I tell Elise.
“I don’t know if we’ll have a baby shower,” she says, shaking her head. “We don’t really have friends, and we can just buy what we need.”
“But it’s part of the whole pregnancy package,” Mia objects, her eyes going wide. “You’re supposed to have a party. Who cares if it’s just us? We can still give you presents and a cassata cake for Adrian.”
I nod decisively. “It’s settled. You’re having a baby shower.”
“You’re not,” Elise points out.
“I already had a baby. And my fiancé is richer than God. It would be insulting for me to accept gifts.”
Elise rolls her eyes. “Well, if your fiancé would’ve paid mine what he was worth for five years instead of giving him me, mine would be richer than God, too.”
“Adrian is pretty awesome,” I agree.
“I also think Adrian is awesome,” Mia adds. “But I am fiancé-less, not pregnant, and my guy’s still lower level, so I have nothing to contribute to this wealthy fiancé competition.”
“I’m your sugar mama,” I remind her. “You get Mateo money by default.”
I’m also ready to tell him he should buy her a ring, too, so she doesn’t feel left out. I’m getting way too into this sister wives plan that I didn’t even want to happen. I should probably relax until I find out if everyone else likes it.
“Do you think Vince will ever propose?” Elise asks Mia, though she looks a little conflicted even as she asks.
Mia doesn’t hesitate, grabbing her wine glass and taking a sip before saying, “Nope.”