When I walk into Eve’s house for family dinner night all eyes are on me. I don’t like being scrutinized; it makes me nervous. It’s a somber moment. The kitchen is silent, the usual playful banter—nonexistent. No one wants to break the silence yet everyone’s dying to ask the question. I swear I can still feel Aubry’s hand in mine. The softness of her skin against mine. I can still see that raven black hair contrasted against pearly white skin. I bared my secret, one not even Liam, my most trusted friend knows. But an hour with Aubry and I spilled it all to her. I gave her my burden to carry and now I’m regretting it. I should have given her hope and encouragement. Should haves are a deadly road to travel.

“Well?” Nora finally asks, “Any news?” Liam’s got a hold of her hand, he gives it a squeeze. She’s not handling this well. Her eyes are rimmed red. Liam looks no better. They might as well be Aubry. I think about how she’s slim to the point that she has none of the womanly curves any more that many men desire. How her skin is sallow and those bright eyes I liked so much have no sparkle at the moment. This dinner we all attend doesn’t sparkle without Aubry here. She’s the life of the party.

I swallow hard and shake my head. “Nothing to report.”

Her shoulders slump. Charlotte tucks herself into Nora’s side, both arms wrapped around her middle as if she’s trying to hold Nora together. I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“She’ll be fine,” Lotte says. “You’ll see.”  The room fills with pathetic mumbles of forced agreement. We all know there are no guarantees in life.

Dinner is a symphony of forks clinking plates and drinks sloshing in glasses. It’s dismal and grim. Nora looks to me and opens her mouth but snaps it shut again and glances away.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing,” she says shaking her head.

“Say it.”

“Is there any buzz at The Black?” she asks. Liam stiffens next to her. He hasn’t been back to the club since he disowned his father and I know it’s a touchy thing for him. It’s not a place you casually bring up in public. It’s more like a dirty secret you keep from the world. Shady dealings and dirty old men have no place in the normal world.  “What?” she says to Liam. “I know about it and I know people talk. Maybe… ”

“There’s no chatter, Nora,” I say. “If there were any leads at all on what happened, I’d be all over it. I promise.”

She bites her bottom lip and nods.

“Enough of this shit,” Eve says and slaps both hands on the table. “Aubry would be appalled at this boring dinner.” She looks around the room shaking her head. “Seriously. I know you’re all thinking it too. This is exactly what she wouldn’t want.”

Lotte nods along with her sister’s speech. “We should have a dance party. Or, watch a movie with treats. We should do something to make her proud.”

Despite my mood, I smile, because Aubry would love both those ideas. Fresh tears roll down Nora’s cheeks but she too smiles through them.

“I’ll pull up her playlist,” Nora says. Eve and Lotte begin clearing the table and Liam pulls me aside.

Driving rain beats against the glass of Liam's office window. He's talking but I can't focus on his words. The rain, it mesmerizes me. Forces me into a memory.

I'd taken her to the movies. Some horror flick she was dying to see. I'd picked her up at dusk and as she bounded down the stairs to the car her black hair had cast a blue-tinted halo around her head. She was stunning, even in jeans, sneakers and a white tee shirt.

At the theater, she'd dumped a box of peanut M&Ms into the bag of popcorn. I'd refrained from saying anything, but she'd caught my horrified expression and said: "Don't judge till you try." With a laugh.

"Do you bring all your women on movie dates?" she'd asked during the previews. I leaned in close enough to inhale her intoxicating scent of freshly peeled oranges and whispered, "never." And it was true. The other women weren't movie date kind of girls. Purebred trust fund bunnies were only good for two things, partying and sex. Sure, they were from my world of wealth. Sure, they understood the game and played along at galas, they knew the rules; look pretty, keep their mouth shut while the men spoke. They understood the politics of high profile events—but that was all. There was no intrigue there. There was no depth. They weren't Aubry. The world she came from was so vastly different than mine but I didn't care.

Every few moments I stole a glance at her. Aubry fascinated me. The way she popped the popcorn into her mouth, the feel of her hand against mine when we both reached into the bag at the same time. The way her eyes widened and she gripped my arm at scary parts. I laughed when she threw popcorn at the screen when the villain was finally revealed. She was light and life—pure vibrancy.

It was pouring rain when the movie let out. She'd turned to me wearing a devious grin and bolted out the doors toward the car. I hollered at her to wait. That I'd bring the car around but she just stopped, rain pelting her and twirled around—face pointed at the sky and laughed. By the time we were both in the car, water dripped from the ends of her hair, her soaked through T-shirt clung to her and I couldn't tear my eyes off from her.

“You gonna start the car or just stare at me?” She’d bit her lip then and I thought I might die of pent-up arousal. Instead of kissing her like I wanted to, I started the car. I didn’t miss the sigh she let out before the radio filled the space between us.

Dimly, I’m aware of the cell vibrating in my hand. “You going to get that?” My head snaps up, focuses on Liam. He leans back in his chair, loosens his tie. I look at the phone in my hand, blink. “Shit.” The call stops, I missed it. I really need to get my shit together.

“Where’d you go just now?” He asks, raising his eyebrows at me.  I shrug him off.