“Thanks for getting all this stuff.” I turn to Rachel and take the last bag from her hands.

“Anything for you. How’s she doing today?” she asks then starts helping me sort through the items she bought. My mom is going to love all this stuff.

“She’s getting better, slept most of the day yesterday. She did eat a banana and drank some of the broth today. Her color looks so much better, too,” I say while taking the tags off the clothes she bought for my mom before tossing them in the washer.

“Has she said anything more?” Rachel finally asks. Everyone but Katch has been tiptoeing around asking me if my mom has opened up to me at all. The answer is always the same when he does, and it’s no different now. There’s so much we need to find out. I just haven’t had the heart to ask her anything except for what she needs and how she’s feeling.

There are so many questions looming over all of us. Some I believe she has answers to and others I think she’s as uninformed to them as we are. The elephants in the room are suffocating us all. The thing is, I’m not willing to risk my mother’s health. It’s a waiting game. The one thing I’ve grown to have patience for when that word never was in my vocabulary before.

“No. I’m dying to ask her, but I don’t want to do anything to set her off. I think what she has to say is going to be the key to what we need. The doctor was over this morning to check on her. Katch and I briefed him on what she did the other night without giving away too much. He said her brain is trying to process the last sixteen years of her life. Certain things will trigger her to fall back into the worst times. Meaning when Curtis raised his voice, she slipped. Proves that whoever had her raised their voice all the time. I don’t know; it’s all so confusing. All I know for sure is, I’ll fight until I can’t anymore to get my mom back.”

“I’m incredibly proud of you, Caitlin.”

I sigh and feel tears prick my eyes. I’ve cried so much lately that it’s exhausted me.

“You know, I would never admit this to anyone else, but it’s times like these when I’m thankful my father turned my heart into stone. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to take everything that’s happened in the past three weeks. Don’t get me wrong, that evil man is the center of it all, and I hate him with every fiber of my being. I just…how could he do this? And for what? More money? Power? You know Katch and Curtis think this all has to do with drugs, right?” I think back to yesterday morning when Katch told me about the information he found the other night. It all makes me sick to my stomach to think there was a possibility my mother found out and threatened to leave him over it. Take me and run. The likelihood that my first car, my clothes, or my college education could have been paid for with drug money shames me. The things that I bought with my own money are all lying around my house in shreds.

“I hate to say this, but does it surprise you?”

“It does and it doesn’t. He was a lot of things. I guess there was a part of me that hoped. I don’t know. Let’s talk about something else. Like when can I see those beautiful little girls of yours?”

Her face lights up when I mention Violet and Emma.

“As soon as this is all over, we are all going to get together. They’ve been begging Curtis and me to go to Disney.”

I laugh at her comment just thinking out the whole scene. Never in a million years did I think my cousin would settle down the way he has. Let alone go on vacation. I can picture him now toting those two little beautiful girls around while they scream at all the characters. Curtis loves those girls more than anything, but he will go batshit crazy down there.

“Sorry,” I laugh. “I was thinking when you said we, you were including Katch and me. There is no way he would step foot in Disney. Seriously, try and picture it.”

“I am including you, and by the way he looks at you and acts, I don’t think there’s a darn thing he wouldn’t do for you.”

I stop in the middle of lifting my bottle of water to my mouth. There are a lot of things he would do for me, but I can’t even get my mind to comprehend a man like him walking through Disneyland or even hanging out at the beach. He hated shopping, for God’s sake. He sent Brick to buy groceries, and now that Mindy the Whore is gone, I’ve been cleaning his house. Well, trying to at least. A broom and a dustpan still feel foreign in my hand. However, thanks to Brick helping me those two weeks Katch was gone, I’m sure as hell getting better at it.

“What’s this?” I ask, curious. All thoughts of Disney and anything else flying out the window when I see an old photo album on the kitchen table.

“It’s a photo album we found when your uncle passed away. Curtis thought it might help. There are several pictures of you and your mom in here. Most of them from Curtis’s birthdays when he was a kid, and the rest from holidays. In the back are a few pages of the only ones Chet had of her.” My fingers trace the edge of the worn leather. This is a way to help her cure. I know it is. She needs to see this.

“I love you guys. Do you know that?” I wipe away a tear, look up to her, and see her love shining back at me.

“I do know. Always have. You may think you have a heart of stone, but you don’t. You never did. You simply shielded it from any more emotional pain. No one can fault you for that.”

“Now you are just blowing smoke up my ass, Rachel.”

She points her finger at me with a stern look. “The only compliment I take about blowing is from your cousin.”

“Jesus, Rach. I don’t need that visual.” I toss a rag at her and cringe.

“Speaking of blowing and a hot man, what do you think of Dr. Hot Pants?”

I shrug. I mean, any fool in any shape would recognize his looks. It’s like he’s straight off the runway and thrown into the emergency room. I’ve seen a lot of doctors in my life, mostly in the courtroom, but they’re more the pudgy, not-so-good-looking ones. Dr. Hot Pants, as Rachel calls him, is simply torture to all women. Clean-cut, strong jawline, and designer clothes. I mean, if that’s your type. I’ve learned it’s not mine but can still appreciate the goods.

“He’s okay,” I finally admit.

“You suck at lying. If that man doesn’t set your vagina to inferno level, then I’ll claim you’re a lesbian. He’s actually Brick’s brother.”

“Brick’s brother?” I ask, now fully invested in Dr. Hot Pants.

“Yep, the reason he’s so loyal to the club even if it takes lots of money to get him to break hospital protocol.”

“I’m still stuck on the Brick’s-brother thing.”

“That gene pool didn’t share well.” She rises from her seat, grabbing her purse. “I mean, Brick is alright, too. He’s just nothing like his brother.” I beg to differ. I think Brick is a big, sexy beast with a kind soul.

“I have a feeling you’d be sending Curtis into a full-on heart attack right now if he heard you.”

She reaches over and kisses my forehead. “Have to keep the man on his toes. It’s not like he has club whores over all the fucking time or anything.” Oh, I know the feeling when it comes to those whores. This coming from Rachel, though, well, it surprises me.

“He would never cheat on you.” For her to even think that makes me mad.

“No, he wouldn’t. Those women know he’s taken. A few of them still try. Damn skanks. They have no morals. I can’t stand any of them.”

“I know what you mean.” I pin my stare anywhere but at her. She knows what I saw when I walked in on Katch and his whore. I’m over it. Doesn’t mean I don’t hurt whenever I think about it, though.

It takes me nearly a half hour after Rachel leaves to get myself together enough to pick this album up and walk into the living room, where my mother is resting on the couch. I firmly believe this will help her. I’m afraid her seeing photos of my uncle will set her off. It’s something that needs to be done, though. To remember the good times, to grieve, and eventually heal.

Katch has been outside looking my car over in his big garage out back and working on a new restoration. Both vehicles were dropped off this morning. Why he feels the need to look my car over is beyond me. Maybe he needed out of the house. Doesn’t matter; it gives me time to share this with her without any interruptions.

“Mom. I brought you some fruit,” I indicate, sit down next to her, and place her feet in my lap. Her feet are covered in a pair of Katch’s wool socks that are doubled over and falling off her tiny feet.

“It looks good. Really good.” She smiles, showing me her broken tooth and stained teeth. I need to get her to the dentist as soon as she’s well enough. God, the things we all hate to do are the things she desperately needs.

“Would you like some help?” I ask when she tries to push herself up.

“Let me try on my own.” It takes her forever, but she manages to push herself up, swing her legs around, and sit right next to me. It’s a proud moment. I want to scream, “You did it!” I don’t, though; the only thing she’s been complaining about is me taking care of her when she should be the one taking care of me. I told her how wrong she is. Her being alive is all I need. All I’ve ever needed.

“Where did you get this?” She picks up a slice of apple, takes a bite, and places the plate on her lap on the couch. I struggle watching her struggle when she leans forward and tries lifting the album.

“Here.” I take it from her shaky hands. Her skin is so thin and tender that I’m afraid if she drops it, she will bruise or hurt herself.

“That was my mother’s. Chet had it. I miss him,” she announces, tears welling in her eyes.

I’m not sure what to say. With everything that’s happened, I never told her he passed away. Something tells me she knew and dear old dad told her. Bastard.

“Clarence told me when he died. If you call laughing in my face because he knew one of the few things that could break me was losing him, you, or Curtis.” She shrugs as if it’s a daily occurrence that someone would do such a horrendous thing. My heart is busting wide open for her. “Anyway. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of breaking me. I cried and prayed for my brother in here.” She points to her chest.

“Oh, Mom. I am so sorry you went through that alone.”

“No. We are not going there. Not today. Not ever. He didn’t break my spirit, and that was what he wanted to do. Let’s see what’s in here. I want to relive my good memories, Caitlin.”

She gingerly opens the book and studies each picture. Long-ago memories dance across her face. Tears well up in her eyes, but she never cries. The genuine smile that graces her lips causes me to grin like a little girl.

She runs her finger along the picture of Uncle Chet. “He was the best brother I could ever ask for. He was protective and strong.”

“Just like you,” I whisper.

“Maybe. Chet, though, he’d save me from our daddy when he was out of control and in a drunken state. I loved him so damn much.”

“He’d be proud of you, Mom.” I squeeze her free hand, offering my full support.

She flips through several pages, laughing and smiling at every single one. “Remember this time at Curtis’s birthday party?”

I nod, staring at the snapshot of Curtis and me as children. He’s in swim shorts, and I’m in a bright yellow swimsuit. We’re drenched from head to toe, each clutching a bag of candy. The busted-up piñata lies behind us. Even though there were no other kids our age around, Uncle Chet made sure we had one big-ass piñata filled to the brim with candy. He was one big-ass lovable biker dude. I wish I had the guts to run to him years ago. To call my father out and disappear the way I’m doing now. I simply couldn’t put any of them in danger.

“You two ate so much candy you threw up on the ride home.”

I brave the subject, not knowing how far I can push my mom at this moment. “I remember you having to lie to Dad, and then the next week when he found out where we were, you ended up with a broken arm. He told me you fell down the stairs carrying a laundry basket.”

She turns to look to me. Dread written all over her face. “I did fall down the stairs, Caitlin. The thing I didn’t tell you was, he pushed me down them.”

“Mom,” I gasp. I should have known.

“I always tried my best to shelter you from everything. I needed time and an escape plan. But I soon learned if I stayed away from my family, life was easier.”

“Why did he hate them so bad?”

“Seems juvenile, sweetie, but he didn’t want my last name or upbringing to taint his prestigious reputation.” Little did we know it’s his name that’s ruined us all.

I sit in silence, not knowing where to go. It’s unimaginable to process the fact she was surviving all those years through one huge balancing act.

“As the years flew by and I figured out how not to trigger him, your dad grew to resent me and the life we had. He always wanted more. More money, more fame, more power, and I was a useless pawn in his game.” She begins to quiver. “Then one afternoon, he came home early and happened to get the mail before me.” I’m not sure I can stomach any more of this. It all makes me sick.

“Mom, let’s take a break.” I take the album from her lap. “You’re still healing. You can tell me more later. We need to focus on and cherish the good memories, heal, and become whole before we can stand together and fight.” Again, the lawyer in me wants to ask her what she means about the mail. If there was something in there that made my father do the unbearable things he did. I can’t. She’s so pale. So weak. And her lips are trembling.

“You amaze me, Caitlin. There wasn’t one day that passed when you weren’t on my mind. I fought at first to escape and get back to you, but he had guards at the first place. It was decent with the bare essentials. Bed, food, and a bit of sunlight, guarded by iron bars. It was a prison cell, though.” I’m on the verge of losing it here. But, just like her wanting to get this out, my head is overloaded with wanting answers. To try to piece it together and to simply understand why.

“Why were you found in a cellar, nearly dead?” I shudder at my own words. “Never mind, Mom. I’m not sure I want to know the answer to that.”

“It’s okay, sweetie. Before the move to that cellar, there was a new guard your father had hired. Your dad’s visits were few and far between near the end. In the beginning, he’d visit and taunt me with his nasty words and then force himself on me. It could hardly be called rape…”

I cut her off by holding up my hand. My stomach is lurching in my gut. I’m going to vomit. “How can you sit there and say any of it was okay, Mom? It was kidnapping, neglect, lies. It was rape and abuse. There are no excuses, Mom. For none of what he did to you. Please don’t defend him. Not to me,” I plead.

“You’re right. There aren’t. My excuse is—and to me it’s the best one I have, the one I’ve been given my right back to cherish—you are my daughter. Mine. And it doesn’t matter how old you are, I will make excuse after excuse if it’s going to protect you.” I blink away tears. She has been given her rights back. My beautiful, courageous mother can make up all the excuses she wants, just not when it comes to him.

“I love you,” I say.

“And I love you. I know what I’m telling you is painful. Just, please, let me finish. Even if it hurts, this is something I need to say.”

“Okay.”

“The last guard I had in the original place was friendlier than the rest. He appeared to have a soul and a genuine care for the human race. The day your dad caught him in the locked room with me, he flipped. The man, I don’t remember his name, had brought me a People magazine to read. He’d do small acts of kindness like that to remind me that I was a human being. He’d always take whatever he brought with him when he left, so he didn’t get caught.” If that man cared about the human race, then he would have taken her with him, not some stupid magazine.

“What did Dad do?” I whisper, almost afraid to ask.

“Your dad shot him in front of me. Left his dead body behind and took me to that cellar. From there on it was Vince and your father who would show up once a day to toss me stale food and water. I overheard several of their conversations about it being time to end my life. They rarely disagreed over the years, but on this they did. Your father wanted me dead, knowing I was a loose end in so many ways, but Vince refused to have more blood on his hands, since their business was good.” She smiles gently. “He really hated me in the end, and I was over living that way. All I wanted was to die. But the evil man Clarence was wouldn’t allow it. He pushed, taunted, and teased me about you. How you were so much like him. A control freak. Money hungry. And if he had his way, you would be the next in line to take on the family drug name. I had realized years before he kidnapped me that he was pure evil. Then your father quit showing up. I knew something was wrong. That there was a possibility he was dead. Vince wouldn’t speak to me. Then one day, Vince stopped coming around, too. I think I spent about three or four days in that cellar with no food or water. I was left for dead until that sweet man stumbled upon the covered cellar and I had enough energy left to scream.”

I’m too intrigued and in lawyer mode now.

“I never knew anything about drugs.”

“I know you didn’t, and I wanted it that way. You were a little girl, sweetie. My little girl. I had to protect you the best way I knew how. I also think Vince had it in his head, that saying ‘out of sight out of mind.’ So, instead of killing me, he was going to leave me there to rot. I don’t know.”

“Mom, you were found near my childhood home.”

“I know. Probably made it easier for your father to toss me food on his days. No suspicion, you know? Just a jog in the heavily-treed area.”

“The fucker thought of everything, except for a man out tending to a lawn and the man who killed him,” I mumble.

“Right.” She clears her throat and begins to wring her hands.

“Do you have any idea who would have killed him?” I ask.

“Maybe, but I can’t go there right now, Lillybug.” I’m desperate for her to answer me, but when her eyes drift down to her lap and she starts to wring those tiny little hands even harder, I know it’s time to be done. For now, anyway.

I smile at the strongest woman I know. I feel lighter than I have in days with how far she has come, and it feels damn good to talk to her. Even if all of it is shattering me.

“Shower, new clothes, and dessert?” I offer. She needs to cleanse everything she’s told me away. I’ll take this news to Katch so he can take it from here.

“Yes.” She slowly rises to her feet. “Show me how to live again.”

I guide her to the bathroom and take delicate care of helping her shower. I make sure to use ample amounts of the apple shampoo while washing her hair.

“I love the smell of this stuff. It’s so refreshing,” she says as she leans her head back while I rinse the conditioner out.

“Me too,” I tell her. I do love it. It’s what I use on my hair now. The only thing missing is her apple lotion. Once we are able to locate it, I’m buying a year’s worth of it.

I scrub her scalp with the pads of my fingers; all of this is unreal, to say the least. Being the daughter and nurturing her own mother in this fashion. More gratifying than I’ll be able to explain. There’s no shame when I step out of the shower with her in my own soaked clothes and begin to dry her off, either.

I lay out all the outfits and let her pick what she wants to wear, while I quickly dart across the hall to change. My insides warm when I walk back in and she’s making a careful decision while still picking one out.

“These are all so pretty and different. Times sure have changed. One thing that hasn’t—and I’m so grateful for it—is your relationship with Rachel and your cousin. I still can’t believe they are married.” She picks up a simple baby-blue t-shirt dress. I help her with it and then guide her down onto a bench in the bathroom.

“Yeah. Love at first sight with those two. They make each other happy.”

I braid her long hair, apply moisturizer to her beautiful face, and then guide her back into the kitchen.

“Now, what’s for dessert?” she asks with a gleam in her eyes.

“Let’s see.” I open the fridge and freezer in one fell swoop. “We have Rocky Road ice cream, cheesecake, and it looks like brownies.”

I point to the fresh pan on the counter and then giggle wondering how in the hell they got there. Katch can cook, or so he says, but he claims he hates to bake.

“You know me and chocolate. Some things never change, sweetie.”

I slice the brownies, making sure to cut her square in half. She only needs a small portion; then I pour her a glass of milk.

I set them in front of her. “Careful not to overdo it, Mom. I mean, I love you more than anything, but I draw the line at cleaning up vomit.”

She chuckles lightly, foregoing using the fork to eat her brownie. “Oh, sweetie, you be careful with Katch then if you don’t want a lifetime duty of cleaning up puke.”

I tilt my head in question. “Oh no, no babies for me. You’ll have to settle for Curtis’s two daughters to appease your grandmother appetite.”

“We’ll see. You do know I’m sick right now, not dumb?” She smiles then takes a large bite of her brownie. “I like him.”

I flush bright red with her omission. Yep, I’m the embarrassed teenager being busted by her mother. The birds and the bees and all that.

“I love him, Mom. No more talk of babies, though.”

The door leading to the attached garage slams shut. Katch appears in the doorway. He’s covered in grease, hair tousled, and shirtless. Holy loving mother of God. He even makes dirt and grime look sexy.

“Hey, you’re practically living out there in your man cave. How’s the restoration going?” I go to him, wrap my arms around his middle. Lean up and peck him on the lips.

“It’s coming along.” He peers over my shoulder to look at my mom.

“That’s great. I can’t wait to see it. Are you hungry?” I ask.

He doesn’t make eye contact with me, which is strange since he always does. Slowly, his mouth drops open, then he points in my mom’s direction.

“Are those my brownies?”

“If your brownies were on the counter, then yes.”

He finally drops his head to face me, and I think he’s going to kiss me, but a devilish smile covers his face. There’s nothing sexier than a smile on a man’s face who is this dark and guarded.

“Those are my special brownies.” He kisses me lightly. “As in, my pot brownies.”

“Oh, my God.”